Corrupt the Wish

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Gruumash did humbly admit that ninja's are superior on rye bread with mayonnaise compared to turds.


I wish that QCNerd had posted his wish.


I wish that GoatToucher touched less goats and made even more wishes!


I will now dress you in a goat costume and touch you inappropriately thrice weekly.

I wish that I could dress QCNerd in a goat costume and touch him inappropriately thrice weekly.

Granted but the IRS mistook him for Jim Brewer and put him in jail for tax evasion.

I wish I could take me kid to Disney soon.

Fair enough, but after all those hours of driving you find out they have closed due to bankruptcy.

I wish i could point my finger and detonate anything if i wished so.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, but when you point at something, there are always three fingers pointing back at you. BOOM goes the Fiend.

I wish people would read everything I write in Neil Diamond's voice.

Dark Archive

Granted, There's a Diamond named Neil, but he sounds like Justin Bieber.

>Enter wish here<

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

i wish for me

i wish to have the previous wish corrupted

The evil prrrecious....ring wishes to return to its master, but it will end up in lava.

I wish the stuff at the local supermarket was cheaper.

Granted, but it matters little, as the field you work in has become obsolete, and you have lost your job.

I wish I was a little bit taller.

Granted. Please lay on this rack and we will get started right away.

I wish to perform a labotamy on someone who is not myself.

Granted, but when you remove the Labrador retriever from it's owner, it savagely mauls you.

I wish to perform a lobotomy on someone who is not myself.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, you perform the lobotomy. Everything goes better than expected, except now you are responsible for the care and feeding of a lobotomized stranger.

I wish I could have today off work.

Granted. In fact, take the whole week. That case of the Shrieking Thunderbowels is going to take time to get over completely.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Granted! There are slow-release tissues, chewing gums and even sprays to choose from today.

I wish everyone was a bit smarter.

Granted, but only by 0,00000000000000000000001%.
Save for me, i gained 300%.

I wish GoatToucher would start break habit and start touching rhinos instead.

:takes a drag off an E-Sissyl: Granted, but I will instead start touching Republicans In Name Only (RINOs) as determined by the Tea Party. Look out, Chris Christie!

I wish I could teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

Granted you teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, Using the brown Note.

I wish for the 4 Horseman to not be arriving this year or next.

Granted! Ric Flair dies while having "relations" with a fan. Woooo!!!

I wish people would learn how to drive properly in the rain.

That's below the belt, flagged

The thread said *twisted*, but no personal offense meant, I've edited my response.

Granted. Rainy Day Golf sweeps the nation.

I wish I had the last of the Seven Artifacts of Amash-Katuul so I could open the gateway between worlds.

Granted, but you say a wrong word during the incantation and arrive there only 1" tall.

I wish there was a list of wishes.

Granted, there are a lot of wishes.....that go unfulfilled.

I wish I had the answer

For 1 1000th of a second, then you forgot it again.

I wish for a tiny black hole inside that specific IKEA closet *points* where IYIYC is hiding today, so IKEA will have a quiet day.

Granted. The closet, the Ikea, the tri-state area, and the world are consumed.

I wish I knew what to do with all these limes!

Granted when the world gives you limes, you make limeade.

I wish I wasn't so gruff.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted, you are now even more gruff. Gruff enough for THREE billy goats. Bridge trolls whisper your name in fear.

I wish bridge trolls whispered my name in fear. :(

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

granted, you are now more scary then them and they have lost their jobs and are furious with you

i wish bridge trolls would get hired again

Sure, but not the kind you think they are.
The bridges everywhere are now filled with 12 year olds ranting and complaining and swearing all the time.

I wish Hollywood would situate more movies outside of america, the world is bigger than their continent ^^.

Granted! Now everything is filmed and set in downtown Toronto.

I wish the weather would stop playing hell with my allergies.

Granted. Now the Devil will start playing hell with your allergies. Expect post-nasal flesh eating beetles by this evening.

I wish I had a tiny piano and a twelve inch pianist.

Sure, you now have tiny musicbox with music man, but he make so bad music your brain vibrates to mush.

I wish for goblin kind to rule Golarion.

Granted, but he exiles you off the planet.

I wish for this wish not to be granted.

Silver Crusade

Granted, kind goblins rule Golarion leading to world peace. Poog becomes the new Aroden.

I wish for Schism's wish to be ungranted.


Granted but in doing so, our minions are allowed free reign to all over Galorian and Earth.

We wish the drow and succubi would the love they so deserve and cry out for.

Granted, though the love they receives is the love they deserve, and it makes them cry out for less than pleasant reasons.

I wish I had a delicious Chicago style stuffed pizza with sausage, pepperoni, and green peppers.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Granted, however, in addition to the sausage pepperoni and green peppers, it is stuffed with every goat you have ever touched and/or loved.

I wish I could have a happy, successful life.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Granted, but you are a follower of zon-kuthon

I wish I could free the poor genie who is granting these wishes

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Granted, but you are now the poor genie granting the wishes.

I wish we had a moonbase.

Granted, but it is a musical instrument.

I wish I could get a slice of the pepperoni, sausage, green pepper, and multi-goat pizza Alayern granted me.

Granted! The frozen pizza slices straight through your abdominal wall, your intestines, your spine, then buries itself in the concrete wall behind you.

I wish we could get a movie from the Succubus in a Grapple thread.

Granted. The movie is titled "Infernal Centipede".

I wish I was the smartest man in the world!

The World being a reality show inside an old shed, you are so since you are alone in there.

I wish Texans weren't so trigger happy, it makes mail delivery a risky job when they are new.

GRANTED!!! Texans aren't so trigger happy, they're trigger crazy.

I wish her well.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

granted, she falls into a well and when she gets out she is fuming and she murders you in cold blood

I wish for the world to conform to what I want it to be

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Granted, but your mind has so many ideas the world is split into a million islands each with its own characteristics.

I wish for my own private underwater habitat.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted you have now been shrunk and placed in a small fish bowl.

I wish I had god like powers without all the responsibility that comes with it.

Granted. You become God of the Earth, your immobile body forming the land and your mind barely sentient.

I wish for the nicest pair of boots in the world.

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