Corrupt the Wish

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Grand Lodge

Granted. You are now the world's worst hitman.

I wish I ate the macaroon.

The Exchange

Granted! Alas, you waited too long to indulge and the putrescine flavor was ever so slighty off, bearing only the smallest hint of what was once extraordinary.

I wish munchkins, powergamers and role-players would get along, realizing that diversity is what makes this game great for all players.

Grand Lodge

They do, but everyone just turns to 4E.
I wish I felt better emotionally.

Granted, you feel awful physically, and your skin feel weird, but emotionally you're quite happy.

I wish i'd get a present for christmas.

Granted! Your dog considers those landmines 'presents'.

I wish I knew how to save money (And no GEICO jokes, because I get my auto insurance through them already ^_^).

Granted! you lose your credit card.

I wish I had enough shotguns and ammo to hold off the zombie horde when the dead start rising today.

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Granted, you have enough ammo to hold of the zombie horde until the meteors smash you.

I wish I had a really good umbrella.

Starfinder Superscriber

Wish granted! Your have a really good umbrella, however you being chaotic evil take 2 negative levels when you hold it.

I wish that the Doctor wouldn't have saved the world today...;)

Lantern Lodge

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Okie doke. Instead of the Doctor, Mr. T saved the world. Everyone is now required by law to rock an 80s mohawk and wear 50-pound chains on their necks.

I wish that orcs and hobgoblins would overcome their differences and learn to love each other as people.

Granted. The orcs and hobgoblins unite and drown the world in a tide of savagery and blood.

I wish the orcs and hobgoblins would stop loving each other as people.

Granted! but now that they hate each other again they kill each other off until there is only a single solitary baby hobgoblin left all alone in the wilderness to suffer and it's all because of you.

I wish you a merry chrismahannukwanzikuh and a happy new year (except for those in China in which case Happy almost new year!)

Grand Lodge

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Little Skylark wrote:

Granted, you have enough ammo to hold of the zombie horde until the meteors smash you.

I wish I had a really good umbrella.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! You just made my day.

I have a marry christmas. I have to give up mine to go to a wedding.

I wish I didn't have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

Granted! you get sucked into a computer game. (Alttext: Granted. you become unable to act).

I wish for a fish on a silver dish.

Granted. NOW FOOD FIGHT!!!!!

I wish that guy didn't have that overpowered rubber chicken.

Granted! Now he has an over-powered REAL chicken. Which pecks you to death.

I am content, and I wish for nothing.

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Granted, now you have nothing, and I have all your stuff.

I wish I was purple.

Grand Lodge

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Granted. You have blood poisoning which turns you purple.

I wish I was able to control people with my mind.

You have the side effect of reading everyone's mind, you go mad from the constant chatter of 7
+ billion voices in your head. I wish for an IQ of over 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 without being socially awkward or having bad charisma/ wisdom.

Grand Lodge

You get an I.Q. of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times 10 to the negative 1 power. Not it's negative! I wish I could get Rise of the Runelords for Xmas.

Granted! You tell a funny joke getting a rise out of the Runelords. Then they stomp you into oblivion for making them break kayfabe.

I wish I could decide on which video games to play instead of letting them collect dust.

The Exchange

Granted! You invite your friends over for a marathon session of [insert FPS/NFL/PGA/RPG here]. But they show up drunk and boisterous, trashing your place. Now you are just pissed off and don't want to play.

I wish I wasn't microchipped by US Govt.

Granted! You are now microchipped by the remnants of the KGB. You are now an integral player in the revival of the Soviet Union.

I wish I could develop better sleeping habits.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, you stop wetting the bed. Oh, was I not supposed to...

I wish I hadn't been at Eddlap's video game marathon party turned toga party.

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Granted. instead you fall through a tunnel back in time to world war two, get conscripted, and end up shot by a sniper and end up in a field hospital. You fall in love with a nurse and the pair of you are about to get married when you get pulled back to the present, post toga-party. your sudden disappearance leaves your fiance stricken by grief and she ends up in an insane asylum.

I wish I wasn't vindictive.

Granted. Also, your enemies learn about your inability to be vindictive and so they start to abuse you to their heart's content.

I wish for an incorruptible wish.

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Granted, you find another thread to post it on.

I wish that my enemies also lost the ability to be vindictive.

Granted. Let me give you a hug.

I wish my wife/fiance wasn't in a mental institution.

Granted. Now she's free to walk the streets, killing because the voices tell her so.

I wish for a slice of pizza.

Grand Lodge

You get a slice of mushroom. I'll eat it for you.

I wish you hated mushrooms.

The Exchange

Granted. Now For Great Justice has the favored enemy of "Fungus" and declared a Holy Crusade/Jihad against myconids, which serves to only unite them against us daytime dwellers.

I wish the mold would disappear from my bathroom tiles.

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Granted! Mold is a fungus, and as such falls under my holy crusade. I will purge the vile mold from your bathroom tiles with fire. Lots of fire.

I wish I didn't love fire so much.

Granted! Your pyromania and nymphomania kick in at the same time. Now, you do less of both.

I wish time would fast forward to 7:00 am Christmas Day with all things done that need to be done.

Grand Lodge

Granted! Merry Christmas! You try to surprise children as santa and suffocate in a chimney!

I wish I could play PFS more than once a month.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Your wish is granted. You are now a venture captain and have to run 10 games a week.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Grand Lodge


I wish I was the greatest Hitman of all time.

congratulations you are the greatest man to hit.
I wish I met arya stark, jon stark, tyrion lanister and Aragorn

Grand Lodge

They all beat you up in their own special way.
I wish pants weren't so tight nowadays.

Kyros Deun wrote:

They all beat you up in their own special way.

I wish pants weren't so tight nowadays.

I'm still happy about that, I get to meet so many awesome people.

You become the greatest hitman of all time. That was easy, no corruption here.

Well except for that the next greatest hitman is now losing business to you, and hunts you. While taking a shower in your awesome mansion, you slip on a soap bar, and are swiftly executed by the towel shelves. Of course, this was all arranged.

I wish we didn't lose a man to the tragedy of the soap bar.

Granted, pants are loose as heck. No one is able to wield pants in the lower section of their body. The outside world is never the same...

I still wish we didn't have so much soap bar tragedies.

Grand Lodge

Soap is banned. It smells.

I wish I could resist that Billie Piper song Antal posted.

Kyros Deun wrote:

Soap is banned. It smells.

I wish I could resist that Billie Piper song Antal posted.

You become inthralled with baby by justin beiber instead.

I wish for cheese.

Granted, everything you touch turns into cheese.

I wish my shoes would fit.

The Exchange

Granted! We threw away the non-fitting shoes and went straight for the duct tape. Perfect Fit! Good luck getting them off.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

I'll grant that... eventually.

I wish I had the power.

You have the power, according to the song stuck in your head, for weeks.

I wish I didn't have "You've got the power" stuck in my head.

Grand Lodge

You have this in your head. Join me in my pain.

I wish Donna was back on Doctor Who.

She is, and she is constanly singing "Because We Want To". (I clickt :-S..)

I wish i could concentrate.

Grand Lodge

You concentrate on the song.

I wish the new season of Doctor Who would come out in January.

It does, it has a new soundtrack. Guess what...

I wish I prepared tomorrow's dungeons better.

The Exchange

Granted! You are prepared for every contingency those damn players could and would throw at you. Game time: Every player except the one that drives an hour to your house is a no show. Now you've got five minutes to generate a concilatory sidetrek.

I wish I was that player.

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