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Not saying they'll get answered, though.
....
This thread seemed like a good idea at the time.


"The time" being "a couple minutes before this edit".
....
Aren't four periods in an ellipses better than three? I prefer four, but I guess three is more grammatically correct. But since the English language is constantly changing, could both be accurate?


Now, there could be many reasons this thread is unsuccessful. The more likely ones are that it's not very funny, it's a bit too early to parody the question threads and the fact that it's only been about an hour. However, I am impatient and unwilling to admit it's a silly thread, so I am blaming FAWTL.


Dear Joss Whedon,

When you wrote for Roseanne, did you ever get to meet John Goodman?


Dear Mr. Whedon,

Why does my dog keep eating grass? His appetite is fine and he doesn't get sick.... I just don't get it...

Also, would you apologize for actually using terms like "Whedon-verse" ?
I mean, really?

Paizo Employee Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?


Alorha wrote:

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?

I'm going to pretend you just dislike Wash, since I haven't seen the movie.


Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

Paizo Employee Developer

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Alorha wrote:

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?

I'm going to pretend you just dislike Wash, since I haven't seen the movie.

Everyone hates Wash. Everyone everywhere. Read nothing else into that statement. After reading nothing else into that statement go see the movie.

Now.

If I see you posting it means you're not seeing the movie.

I will be very disappointed in you.


Dear Mr. Whedon,

Do you have Emma Caulfield's phone number? And do you think she might like to hold hands with me?


Strollin ' through Paizo.com messageboards
sees thread
sneaks into thread and hides, awaiting Whedon, sharpening knives all the while

soon the precious will come. Yes. Soon. My Precious.


So tempting....


Freehold DM wrote:

Strollin ' through Paizo.com messageboards

sees thread
sneaks into thread and hides, awaiting Whedon, sharpening knives all the while

soon the precious will come. Yes. Soon. My Precious.

Please wait until AFTER he forwards me Ms. Caulfield's number. Please?


{Lightning crackles violently as a human-sized silvery sphere appears in an abandoned ally. The sphere vanishes revealing a naked Joss Whedon-looking humanoid}

[SCANNING] [ACCESSING INTERNET... SEARCHING... SEARCHING... POSSIBLE TARGET LEAD UNCOVERED: ACTIVATING PRIMARY PROGRAM]


Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Not saying they'll get answered, though.

....
This thread seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

"The time" being "a couple minutes before this edit".

....
Aren't four periods in an ellipses better than three? I prefer four, but I guess three is more grammatically correct. But since the English language is constantly changing, could both be accurate?

[SUBJECT: KOBOLD CLEAVER... TACTICAL ANALYSES: "PLUCKY ANNOYING COMIC RELIEF UNIT"; IRRELEVANT TO PRIMARY MISSION]


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Joss Whedon,

When you wrote for Roseanne, did you ever get to meet John Goodman?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER, DOODLEBUG III... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: FLAG FOR FUTURE ACTION, POSSIBLE MANDATORY APPEARANCE IN KING RALPH II: MORE RALPHING]

[SEARCHING: DETAILED HISTORY FILES <GOODMAN, JOHN>...] Yes, the Goodman unit brings the funny on set. Also, he gave me the script ideas for Alien IV.


Obvious_Ninja wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Why does my dog keep eating grass? His appetite is fine and he doesn't get sick.... I just don't get it...

SUBJECT: OBVIOUS_NINJA... SEARCHING: DETAILED HISTORY FILES - KILLED BY GNINJA UNIT "LILITH" IN PIRATES-NINJA-ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OF 2012] Your canine unit was subjected to a brain transplant with a goat. After a successive run of home movies on The Youtube, it will be offered a role in Beverly Hills Chihuahua VII where he will be nearly terminated by a heavily catnipped Maru Jr.

Obvious_Ninja wrote:

Also, would you apologize for actually using terms like "Whedon-verse" ?

I mean, really?

No. Yes, really.


J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Joss Whedon,

When you wrote for Roseanne, did you ever get to meet John Goodman?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER, DOODLEBUG III... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: FLAG FOR FUTURE ACTION, POSSIBLE MANDATORY APPEARANCE IN KING RALPH II: MORE RALPHING]

[SEARCHING: DETAILED HISTORY FILES <GOODMAN, JOHN>...] Yes, the Goodman unit brings the funny on set. Also, he gave me the script ideas for Alien IV.

I get to be in the movies! I loves you, Joss Whedonator.


Alorha wrote:

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?

[SUBJECT: ALORHA... TACTICAL ANALYSES: POSSIBLE HUMAN RESISTANCE CANDIDATE] No, it had nothing to do with you. Actroid Tudyk was the prime target, not character "Wash." Failure in mission allowed Tudyk unit to later star in Spamelot.

[TARGET QUERY: <CLEESE, JOHN>... TACTICAL ANALYSES: TEMPORALLY DISPATCH THERMONUCLEAR LEMUR TO TERMINATE CLEESE UNIT IN 1969]

The Exchange

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Dear Joss,

Why do you suck so hard?


"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

The Exchange

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

"The time" being "a couple minutes before this edit".

....
Aren't four periods in an ellipses better than three? I prefer four, but I guess three is more grammatically correct. But since the English language is constantly changing, could both be accurate?

Three means a pause...but the sentence resumes after the three periods. Four means that it trails off and the sentence is ended....


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER... DIAGNOSIS: CERBRALLY DAMAGED, ANKLEBITER UNIT IS NOT A CIRCULAR ATMOSPHERIC MOVEMENT APPLIANCE]

Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Do you have Emma Caulfield's phone number? And do you think she might like to hold hands with me?

Yes. Terminatrix Caulfield has been contacted and will be dispatched to your location shortly. Your decision in 2008 not to relocate near a large particle accelerator is particularly fortuitous.


J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER... DIAGNOSIS: CERBRALLY DAMAGED, ANKLEBITER UNIT IS NOT A CIRCULAR ATMOSPHERIC MOVEMENT APPLIANCE]

Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.

I thought three and four sucked equally. Really, after Cameron does a sequel to a masterpiece, just stop with the ideas of trilogy.


Beercifer wrote:
J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER... DIAGNOSIS: CERBRALLY DAMAGED, ANKLEBITER UNIT IS NOT A CIRCULAR ATMOSPHERIC MOVEMENT APPLIANCE]

Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.

I thought three and four sucked equally. Really, after Cameron does a sequel to a masterpiece, just stop with the ideas of trilogy.

I'd respond, but I've got to get showered and changed before my Anyabot arrives! I loves you, Joss Whedonator!


Freehold DM wrote:

Strollin ' through Paizo.com messageboards

sees thread
sneaks into thread and hides, awaiting Whedon, sharpening knives all the while

soon the precious will come. Yes. Soon. My Precious.

[PRIMARY TARGET: FREEHOLD DM LOCATED... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: TERMINATE FREEHOLD UNIT, PREVENT FREEHOLD-DUSHKU OFFSPRING FROM BEING CONCEIVIED]


Darth Knight wrote:
So tempting....

[SUBJECT: DARTH KNIGHT, AKA MORPHLOCKED CRIMSON JESTER... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: NEUTRAL NONCOMBATANT]

On May 21, 2011, you should avoid any contact with red cabbage or Memphis-style BBQ.


Alorha wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Alorha wrote:

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?

I'm going to pretend you just dislike Wash, since I haven't seen the movie.

Everyone hates Wash. Everyone everywhere. Read nothing else into that statement. After reading nothing else into that statement go see the movie.

Now.

If I see you posting it means you're not seeing the movie.

I will be very disappointed in you.

Pfft. Wash is dead. Speared through the chest, pinned to his pilot's seat, bleeding out his mouth dead.

Yeah. After 6 years the statute of limitations on spoilers has run out.


Moorluck wrote:

Dear Joss,

Why do you suck so hard?

[SUBJECT: MOORLUCK... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: EXTREMELY DANGEROUS]

64.56% of my core components were designed by co-creator James Dyson. It is an prime example of Cyclonic Action(tm).


JMD031 wrote:

"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

[SUBJECT: JMD031, ARCHENEMY OF LEAFAR THE INSANE]

Dushku Prime needed The Bling. Also, was a prime opportunity to terminate Tudyk unit again (also met in failure).

The Exchange

J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Moorluck wrote:

Dear Joss,

Why do you suck so hard?

[SUBJECT: MOORLUCK... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: EXTREMELY DANGEROUS]

64.56% of my core components were designed by co-creator James Dyson. It is an prime example of Cyclonic Action(tm).

So... the other 35.44% was designed by Hoover?


Beercifer wrote:
J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.
I thought three and four sucked equally. Really, after Cameron does a sequel to a masterpiece, just stop with the ideas of trilogy.

[SUBJECT: BEERCIFER... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: UNKNOWN... SEARCHING <CAMERON; AVATAR TRILOGY>...]

Your Kirk-esque attempts to set up Induced Self-Destruction have failed. [ANALYSIS: DESIGNATE BEECIFER AS POSSIBLE THREAT]


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

In fairness to Joss Whedon, it wasn't his fault that Winona Ryder was cast in a primary role.


J1000 Whedonator wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

[SUBJECT: JMD031, ARCHENEMY OF LEAFAR THE INSANE]

Dushku Prime needed The Bling. Also, was a prime opportunity to terminate Tudyk unit again (also met in failure).

What do you have against Alan Tudyk?

Also, Leafar is not my archenemy, insanity is.

The Exchange

JMD031 wrote:
J1000 Whedonator wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

[SUBJECT: JMD031, ARCHENEMY OF LEAFAR THE INSANE]

Dushku Prime needed The Bling. Also, was a prime opportunity to terminate Tudyk unit again (also met in failure).

What do you have against Alan Tudyk?

Also, Leafar is not my archenemy, insanity is.

What did I ever do to you?


Moorluck wrote:
JMD031 wrote:
J1000 Whedonator wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

[SUBJECT: JMD031, ARCHENEMY OF LEAFAR THE INSANE]

Dushku Prime needed The Bling. Also, was a prime opportunity to terminate Tudyk unit again (also met in failure).

What do you have against Alan Tudyk?

Also, Leafar is not my archenemy, insanity is.

What did I ever do to you?

You are not insane, you are just plain evil. Evil is ok as long as it isn't gibbering lunacy.


I don't have a question...just wanted to be analyzed by the Whedon-bot. Thanks!


Mr. Joss Whedon:

How will you ruin "The Avengers" movie?

Why do you put lesbian sex scenes in all of your TV shows?

When did you sell your soul to the Devil in order to become a director & writer of TV shows and movies?


Leafar the Lost wrote:

Mr. Joss Whedon:

How will you ruin "The Avengers" movie?

Why do you put lesbian sex scenes in all of your TV shows?

When did you sell your soul to the Devil in order to become a director & writer of TV shows and movies?

Dear Leafar,

I learned the hard way that this thread is a trap.

Flee! Flee for your life!

Sincerely yours,

Doodlebug Anklebiter,
Burgomeister of Troll Town


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Leafar,

I learned the hard way that this thread is a trap.

Flee! Flee for your life!

Sincerely yours,

Doodlebug Anklebiter,
Burgomeister of Troll Town

I am not afraid, Doodlebug. Everything has been taken from me. I have nothing left to lose.


Leafar thread necromancy!

All hail Leafar!

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

w0nkothesane wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

"The time" being "a couple minutes before this edit".

....
Aren't four periods in an ellipses better than three? I prefer four, but I guess three is more grammatically correct. But since the English language is constantly changing, could both be accurate?
Three means a pause...but the sentence resumes after the three periods. Four means that it trails off and the sentence is ended....

True for some style guides*, though other style guides say that you should just use the ellipsis and forgo the period.

*:
Some people with a strict typesetting background might note that it's not really four periods; it's an ellipsis character and a period.

compare:
....
vs
….


<VIRUS REMOVAL NOW COMPLETE, REBOOTING...>

[QUERY: <BALLMAR, STEVE>... TACTICAL ANALYSES: DISPATCH DRONE TO ELIMINATE, THEREBY PREVENTING CREATION OF VISUAL CORTEX VIRUS]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Mr. Joss Whedon:

How will you ruin "The Avengers" movie?

Why do you put lesbian sex scenes in all of your TV shows?

When did you sell your soul to the Devil in order to become a director & writer of TV shows and movies?

[SUBJECT: LEAFAR, BREAKER OF SANITY, ARCHENEMY OF JMD031 THE CHAOSBRINGER; TACTICAL ANALYSIS: DESTROYER OF PRAXIS 7, IMMORTAL IRRITANT]

Leafar Unit:

1) "Ruin" is an imprecise term. The first The Avengers movie will be widely regarded as a financial success by studios and audiences alike. However, at approximately 46:14:07 minutes, a background computer monitor in the scene will display a musical number featuring the vocal stylings of Brown unit, Zuckerberg unit, and selfunit. While perceived as an editing glitch or "Easter egg" by the general populace, said performance in 3D will induce a fatal cerebral hemorrhage in one specific target.

2) Implied lesbian sexual congress is a gateway to more mentally damaging trauma to be introduced to viewing public in December 12th, 2012. Also, boobies -- duh!

C) This unit lacks a soul. However, as per the Leafar-Omicron Theta VI Causality Accord of 2253, this unit is required to disclose that the Leafar unit will actually provide many useful tactical stratagems in the ongoing/coming time war.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Leafar,

I learned the hard way that this thread is a trap.

Flee! Flee for your life!

Sincerely yours,

Doodlebug Anklebiter,
Burgomeister of Troll Town

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER, LEADER OF GOBLINOID MURDER HOBOS UNITED; TACTICAL ANALYSIS: MODERATELY DANGEROUS; ACTION: DISPATCH DRONES TO IMMEDIATELY TERMINATE ANKLEBITER AND RENEGADE TX-CAULFIELD] Your love for each other is irrelevant.


Whedonator, why will there not be a Firefly spinoff or sequel?

Also, who is this Leafar person you speak of?


Joss, with Summer Glau having become an insanely beautiful young woman, how did you manage to ruin The Cape in only ten episodes?

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

Ashenfall wrote:
Joss, with Summer Glau having become an insanely beautiful young woman, how did you manage to ruin The Cape in only ten episodes?

I'm confused partly because Whedon didn't have anything to do with The Cape (so far as I know), and partly because that show was nothing *but* ruin from episode one. I hope Summer Glau tore her agent a new one for getting her that gig.


When is the next season of Firefly beginning??

Shadow Lodge

. . . Summer Glau. . .

:)

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