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You know I was reading through my old posts and I realized why I continue posting in this thread. I made a thread where I specifically asked Doodlebug's alter ego not to post in it and he posted in it anyways which gave me good reason to continue to post in this thread for as long as I want. So with that said, I will continue to post in this thread as long as I feel like.

Shadow Lodge

Huzzah!


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And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for….THE TOZ RANT!!!!!! *dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn*

First a brief interlude. I was all set to writing this when I had a terrible thing happen to me, the details of which are not important because the last thing I need is for some (expletive deleted) random (expletive deleted) giving me grief about this event. Anyways, I had it all planned out in my head. What I was going to say, how I was going to say it, all of it. And then I just didn’t feel like it. This wasn’t laziness or apathy, it just didn’t seem important at all. I have spent the past several weeks trying to do two things: make sense of what happened and to put my life back to some sense of normalicy (whatever that is). For a while I had no intention of doing any other rants. I mean, why? What was the purpose? It wasn’t until I was able to answer those questions that I was able to decide to continue what I started. If for anything but to do exactly what I feel I need and that is to have my life back to the way it was. Alright enough of this (expletive deleted) touchy feely stuff, on to the rant.

I want to start off this rant by saying that I think TOZ is a great guy. I mean that. He’s a stand-up guy who speaks his mind and doesn’t give a rat’s (expletive deleted) what anyone says about it. He’s funny, insightful and generally makes the forums a better place. Now I realize that some of you are wondering “where is the anger?” or perhaps “this isn’t a rant, this is a (expletive deleted) contest”. Well, I’m getting to that. To me, TOZ is a likable guy and if you don’t like TOZ well you are just Un-American. That’s right hating TOZ is the equivalent to liking Al-Qeada. Why is that? Because TOZ stands for all the things that makes America great: Being confident, speaking your mind and generally not giving a (expletive deleted) what others people have to say. On top of that, TOZ is an American Soldier. While that may not mean a whole lot to some, it means a whole lot to those who are in the service. See a lot of people in this country (expletive deleted) and moan about every little thing that is wrong with this country while expecting their every demand to be handed to them on a (expletive deleted) silver platter. Some of you know what I’m talking about, the so-called “Fat lazy American”. Well, to me TOZ is a shining beacon of hope against that stereotype because unlike those other people, he (like many other people) are doing their part to keep this country safe from foreign threats. Now I’m sure some of you out there will try to argue with me about the ethics of what the American military is doing, but that’s not what this is about. In a lot of ways, the American military members are cogs in the “Great Wheel” that is this country and much like cogs you would find in a machine, there are all kinds with many shapes and sizes, good ones and bad ones, and so on. What makes TOZ stand out is that he has all of the good qualities that you would expect from someone representing our country and (at least to my knowledge) none of the bad qualities. So, if you hate TOZ, you might as well move to Afghanistan right now because only terrorist could hate someone so (expletive deleted) cool.

Alright, that is enough (expletive deleted) about TOZ. Tune in next time when I rant about…llamas. Seriously? Llamas? Who came up with these topics? I mean (expletive deleted) this whole thing is…


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JMD031 wrote:

Remaining topics to rant about:

llamas
That (expletive deleted) guy who said I should stop ranting.
[Redacted]
Followers of [Redacted]
That darn draft that keeps coming in through this thread

Hmm, not my best rant but a decent one. Updated list.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

F***ing llamas, how do they work?


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It should be obvious that Leafar and Doodlebug are NOT the same person because I, Doodlebug, would never make a comment about orcs being an inferior race.

However, they might seem inferior to a God.


JMD031 wrote:

Alright, that is enough (expletive deleted) about TOZ. Tune in next time when I rant about…llamas. Seriously? Llamas? Who came up with these topics?

I could be wrong, but I think llamas was my idea. So, blame me if you like.


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All of the Races are equally inferior when compared to me, so it really doesn't matter. I can assure all of you that on the day of the end, all of you will stand before the Throne of Judgment equally worthless, and you will pay for your sins. Of course, the chief sin is posting on this thread. Then those who stand with me will travel to the new Realm, He will return, the Earth will end, Time will end, and you know the rest...


Yay!


Huzzah yeah for me I am a god worship me.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Blah blah blah some diatribe about some nonsense I created about some random date. Ohhhh looky here now I can pretend like I am two different people whopp diee dooo.

Doodlebug you almost had me there trying to convince me that you and Lanfear were not one in the same. But I know better now.

So going forward I will be worshipping my own golden idol. Now known as the "The Golden God". One December 21st he will be taking everyone on earth away to a seperate earth without them knowing it has happened. He is so powerful the world will be destroyed yet he will save everyone and no one will know the difference because he will create the new world in the same mirro image. Why do you ask ... because he can.

So worship him otherwise he may change his mind. Actually he has already destroyed our world some many times over only each time he decided to save the majority of people on the earth except for those people who disappear without a trace. Those people he did not save see. Be fearful of him and don't mock him.

He is all powerful and a real god unlike the figament of Doodlebug's imagination.


Oh great Golden God I will eat all the non believers.


What?!?

Infidel! Heathen! Idolater!

Master, master, come look and see what Dorkmash. has done in our beautiful templethread!


Come kneel before the one true god. Become my disciple for my new coming usher in a new era where goblins can stand beside others freely without prejudice. Come away from your dark creations Doodlebug cast aside this Lanfear you created in your mind.


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NO! It's not true!

Leafar, save me from Dorkmash.'s golden idol!


Please Doodlebug, you can't fight the truth of the matter. You created Lanfear let him go now. You can be free of the burden come worship at a different altar one not has harsh as the taskmaster you created.

Lighten your load my friend. Go do the pleasant things you enjoyed once more and cast off the chains you created for yourself under this persona Lanfear the Lost. For what does that name stand for The network of fear isn't really where this came from? This Lost persona created from the fears of your own mind, placed away until you could no longer hide them. Release all of this and be free.


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Aaaaaargh!!

I will resist. I will be like Abednego in the fiery furnace. Like Daniel in the lion's den. Like, uh, I'm running out of similies!!

Aaaaargh!!!

Get thee behind me, Dorkmash.!

Aaaargh!!!!

I...will...not...renounce...my...Lord...and...Master!!!

Aaargh!!!

[Computer blows up]


You know the truth let the truth free Doodlebug ... let it free.


Doodlebug come we can hang out together and be friends once again. All will be forgiven.


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Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

Aaaaaargh!!

I will resist. I will be like Abednego in the fiery furnace. Like Daniel in the lion's den. Like, uh, I'm running out of similies!!

Aaaaargh!!!

Get thee behind me, Dorkmash.!

Aaaargh!!!!

I...will...not...renounce...my...Lord...and...Master!!!

Aaargh!!!

[Computer blows up]

Do not let them deceive you! Thou shall worship no other gods before me! The Golden God is an evil god of greed! You must stay strong in your faith! When He returns to destroy the world, they will turn their backs on you! Everything the Golden God says is a lie, and even that is a lie!

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Yes indeed you are lying about everything Anklebiter but especially to yourself.

Free this need to hold onto your persona "The Network of Lost Fear". Once freed of it you can experience life once more.


Leafar the Lost wrote:
JMD031 wrote:
I just got done watching Thor. It wasn't too bad, but I've never been too fond of Thor as a character anyways.
I know Thor personally, and he isn't too fond of you either! He has great character, which is something you lack due to your posting on my thread!!! How dare you!?!?!?!

I think Freya and Sif are hot, in sexy vyking-chick sort of way.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

Alright, that is enough (expletive deleted) about TOZ. Tune in next time when I rant about…llamas. Seriously? Llamas? Who came up with these topics?

I could be wrong, but I think llamas was my idea. So, blame me if you like.

That is part of the rant bit. See I rant about the topic, no matter how weird or odd it is and then I talk about the next thing I'm going to rant about while discussing that it is an even weirder/odder topic than the one I just ranted about.


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More evidence that Doodlebug is Leafar includes that the only people to favorite either's posts are themselves, i.e. Leafar favorites Doodlebugs and vice versa. Also, I don't think I've ever seen the two of them post at the same time...just saying.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Also Doodlebug the Lost, in case you forgot, I made a thread where I specifically asked you not to post in it and you went against my wishes. So my posting in this thread is my revenge. If I was more clever I would have come up with something better but whatever, I'm posting in this thread and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Thats right JMD031 you tell im.


I usually worship AM BARBARIAN, but this golden god sounds interesting. Quick test prayer:
Oh powerfull god o' gold please destroy my enemies and then immediately remake them as they are now so none can know they were ever destroyed.
Now let's see if it works. Hey Doddlebug have you been destroyed?


No, I have not been destroyed. No, I never posted in JMDwhatever's thread (that I remember). No, I AM NOT LEAFAR THE LOVED!

I mean, I wish I was. I'm flattered that you guys would mistake me for a God. And, of course I favorite all my Lord and Master's posts. And, since I am the bearer of his Tabernacle, I am not surprised (but am still flattered) that Leafar favorites all my posts. Gark the Goblin used to favorite all my posts, too, are you now going to say that all goblins look alike? Of course you will, because you're a bunch of racist tools.

All praise Leafar!


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You replied many times to my thread under your imaginary self Leafar the Lost. Here is the proof.


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I forgot to mention this in my rant about TOZ, but TOZ is also cool because he has the super power to sum up large blocks of text into 1 to 2 sentences.


JMD031 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

Alright, that is enough (expletive deleted) about TOZ. Tune in next time when I rant about…llamas. Seriously? Llamas? Who came up with these topics?

I could be wrong, but I think llamas was my idea. So, blame me if you like.
That is part of the rant bit. See I rant about the topic, no matter how weird or odd it is and then I talk about the next thing I'm going to rant about while discussing that it is an even weirder/odder topic than the one I just ranted about.

I know. I just wanted an excuse to post here again. You know, besides the obvious excuse of bothering Doodlebug and his various aliases (aliai? aliaieses?)


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JMD031 wrote:
Also Doodlebug the Lost, in case you forgot, I made a thread where I specifically asked you not to post in it and you went against my wishes. So my posting in this thread is my revenge. If I was more clever I would have come up with something better but whatever, I'm posting in this thread and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

Ah, Kirk, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space. -Khan Noonien Singh, Star Trek II (1982)


Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
No, I have not been destroyed ... (that I remember).

Ah, so you might have been destroyed and then remade so you didn't even notice. All praise the golden god for he is much more powerfull than Leafar, the imaginary friend of a goblin!


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VM mercenario wrote:
Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
No, I have not been destroyed ... (that I remember).
Ah, so you might have been destroyed and then remade so you didn't even notice. All praise the golden god for he is much more powerfull than Leafar, the imaginary friend of a goblin!

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for Leafar’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Leafar. On the contrary:

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on their heads.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Book of Leafar 12:19-21

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Ah see I told you the Golden God was all powerful. So confirmed by Anklebiter himself he did not even recognize that he had been destroyed and recreated again.

Come to us Anklebiter cast off the chains that bind thee.


Hey wait you are saying to do good for everyone ...but aren't you the same guy who is going to destroy everyone on some random date in December of this year? That does not sound too benevolent too me.


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Gruumash wrote:

Hey wait you are saying to do good for everyone ...but aren't you the same guy who is going to destroy everyone on some random date in December of this year? That does not sound too benevolent too me.

Again, you need to actually read my posts. I will not destroy anything. He will destroy the Earth when He returns. I will leave this world with my followers to the Realm Beyond Time. As far as who He is, I will leave that to your imagination until the end comes. However, He has some very well know celebrity followers here on Earth who will be his Heralds of Destruction. Once I reveal it all will be known, and you must live with the knowledge that you could have prevented all of this...


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I, lowly worm that I am, eagerly await Thy revelations, Master.

As for the rest of you clowns:

@JMDwhatever--That wasn't me, because I am not Leafar and also I am not AnonymousUserwhatever. So. pffft!

Also, TOZ is pretty cool, I guess, for an apostate.

@Spanish Monkey Man--That's cool, you're not bothering me or any of my aliases one bit. But I'm not you have to worry about. Have you made peace with Leafar?

@Dorkmash.--I have nothing for you but a fist full of hate.


Now, as for you, VM mercenario, if that even is your real name:

How clever. You can edit posts. Yay you.

Oh, look, I can do it, too:

VM mercenario wrote:
I have never enjoyed the touch of a woman.


Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

Now, as for you, VM mercenario, if that even is your real name:

How clever. You can edit posts. Yay you.

Oh, look, I can do it, too:

VM mercenario wrote:
....

Resorting to baseless acusations? Oh my, that means your argumentative capabilities are not up to the task of maintaning a civilized and adult conversation. Do you perchance comprehend the meaning of this?

I win. Now I don't have to read your posts anymore. No time for losers and all that.


Ah poor Doodlebug you may think you hate us and may even hate us ... but we have nothing but love for you. Return to us.

Monica was asking how you were doing she hopes you leave your dark time soon reach out to the helping hand.

Even Gruumash hopes you find yourself and leave this dark place in your life.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Hey Doodlebug you know where you can stick that fist full of hate .... er I mean ... The Golden God asked me to see if you might well think about about admiting you have a problem. See if we can't help that sort of thing.

If you do I might apologise ... er I will apologise for what I did before. Anyways just seek help yeah that stuff we can help you. I will even let you go on a date with Monica.


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"The Golden God" wrote:

Ah poor Doodlebug you may think you hate us and may even hate us ... but we have nothing but love for you. Return to us.

Monica was asking how you were doing she hopes you leave your dark time soon reach out to the helping hand.

Even Gruumash hopes you find yourself and leave this dark place in your life.

The Golden God will suffer a fate worse than death; I will take his godhood away and give it to Doodlebug! Then he will be forced to wash the feet of the new, Golden God of Goblins! You will pay a heavy price for posting on my thread...a heavy price indeed!

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Is godhood like manhood?

Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

Oh, look, I can do it, too:

VM mercenario wrote:
I have never enjoyed the touch of a woman.

This is scientifically impossible.


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VM mercenario wrote:
Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

Now, as for you, VM mercenario, if that even is your real name:

How clever. You can edit posts. Yay you.

Oh, look, I can do it, too:

VM mercenario wrote:
....

Resorting to baseless acusations? Oh my, that means your argumentative capabilities are not up to the task of maintaning a civilized and adult conversation. Do you perchance comprehend the meaning of this?

I win. Now I don't have to read your posts anymore. No time for losers and all that.

Baseless accusations? Your reading comprehension skills are as impressive as your ability to edit posts.

Feel free to not only not read my posts but also to not reply to this thread.

@TOZ--It is scientifically quite possible to never enjoy the touch of a woman.

All praise Leafar!


Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
@TOZ--It is scientifically quite possible to never enjoy the touch of a woman.

He knows from his own experience. BAZINGA! You keep handing me those lines...

Also, I don't have to read your posts, bt I might do so anyway because you're fun. I don't usually fight a battle of wit against an unarmed opponent, but I figure between you and your imaginary friend you can almost scrounge up half a wit.


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VM mercenario wrote:
Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
@TOZ--It is scientifically quite possible to never enjoy the touch of a woman.

He knows from his own experience. BAZINGA! You keep handing me those lines...

Also, I don't have to read your posts, bt I might do so anyway because you're fun. I don't usually fight a battle of wit against an unarmed opponent, but I figure between you and your imaginary friend you can almost scrounge up half a wit.

Doodlebug said to Leafar, "Suppose I go to the Paizons and say to them, 'The God of your Fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

Leafar said to Doodlebug, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Paizons: 'I AM has sent me to you.'"

Book of Leafar 3:13-14

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

And why exactly doesn't he give his apostle his name? Perhaps because they are one in the same ....

--------------DOODLEBUG Anklebiter--------------------------------

Is it just me or does this feel like some David Lynch movie.


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Leafar the Lost wrote:
VM mercenario wrote:
Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
@TOZ--It is scientifically quite possible to never enjoy the touch of a woman.

He knows from his own experience. BAZINGA! You keep handing me those lines...

Also, I don't have to read your posts, bt I might do so anyway because you're fun. I don't usually fight a battle of wit against an unarmed opponent, but I figure between you and your imaginary friend you can almost scrounge up half a wit.

Doodlebug said to Leafar, "Suppose I go to the Paizons and say to them, 'The God of your Fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

Leafar said to Doodlebug, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Paizons: 'I AM has sent me to you.'"

Book of Leafar 3:13-14

LIE!!! YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE AMS, AM AM AN AM AND AM KNOW WHO IS AND WHO ISN'T AN AM, AND YOU ISN'T AN AM!!!

SAY THAT THREE TIMES FAST, AM DARE YOU!!!


HA, AM SORCERER HAS CASTYS IN BLOOD. AM SORCERER NEEDS NOT LEAFAR

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