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How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.


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Well...


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I will forgive Highlander any amount of cheese because of the soundtrack.


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captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.

This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.


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Speaking of terror, Impus Minor did his first driving lesson today.

The bad: He did stall out over half a dozen times getting started. The whole, "Don't let out the clutch" was just beyond him. It was pretty hilarious.

The good: Once he got the hang of it, his starts were really smooth.

Now I'm trying to point out the nightmare of trying to get a license between 16 and 18 in California (you have to pay a professional for at least 10 hours of training before you're even allowed to start teaching your own kid, plus an online training course, so you're out of pocket $1000 before you even get started).

We'll see whether he's patient. As well as not having $26,000 to dump in my 401(k), I don't have a random $1000 lying around to get IM an unnecessary license.


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Pfft. Look in your couch cushions. After Shiro has sat there for an evening.


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lisamarlene wrote:
Pfft. Look in your couch cushions. After Shiro has sat there for an evening.

Doesn't he rely on credit cards more than cash, though?


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Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.

She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".


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lisamarlene wrote:
Pfft. Look in your couch cushions. After Shiro has sat there for an evening.

oh Papa Nobodyshome, can I sleep on the couch tonight? Or make a couch pillow fort?


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captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".

I'm sure there are rules for chicken familiars.


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CHICKUUUNS

All with the face of Ted Cruz.


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Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".
I'm sure there are rules for chicken familiars.

Oh yes, definitely. But she wants a flock of chickens that she can swarm against enemies and such.


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Freehold DM wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
Pfft. Look in your couch cushions. After Shiro has sat there for an evening.
oh Papa Nobodyshome, can I sleep on the couch tonight? Or make a couch pillow fort?

Pillow Fort you say! Now you're speaking my language!!

Goes back to crouching behind the couch cushion left flank.


Limeylongears wrote:

CHICKUUUNS

All with the face of Ted Cruz.

That's a good way to get a s~*~ load of dead chickens.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".

Just get the weird elf kid who doesn't talk to hit one with a sword a few times. Instant swarm.


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Scintillae wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".
Just get the weird elf kid who doesn't talk to hit one with a sword a few times. Instant swarm.

that brings back so many memories...


captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.

summon minor monster or summon minor ally; cast a few times and you've basically got it. It's not technically an actual swarm, but it's the same basic thing.

If it needs to be an actual swarm, I recommend allowing summon swarm variant, using bat swarm as the base statistics, but with glide instead of fly.

If it's a swarm that already exists, then it's much trickier.

Quote:

A swarm is a collection of Fine, Diminutive, or Tiny creatures that acts as a single creature. A swarm has the characteristics of its type, except as noted here. A swarm has a single pool of Hit Dice and hit points, a single initiative modifier, a single speed, and a single Armor Class. A swarm makes saving throws as a single creature. A single swarm occupies a square (if it is made up of nonflying creatures) or a cube (of flying creatures) 10 feet on a side, but its reach is 0 feet, like its component creatures. In order to attack, it moves into an opponent’s space, which provokes an attack of opportunity. A swarm can occupy the same space as a creature of any size, since it crawls all over its prey. A swarm can move through squares occupied by enemies and vice versa without impediment, although the swarm provokes an attack of opportunity if it does so. A swarm can move through cracks or holes large enough for its component creatures.

A swarm of Tiny creatures consists of 300 nonflying creatures or 1,000 flying creatures. A swarm of Diminutive creatures consists of 1,500 nonflying creatures or 5,000 flying creatures. A swarm of Fine creatures consists of 10,000 creatures, whether they are flying or not. Swarms of nonflying creatures include many more creatures than could normally fit in a 10-foot square based on their normal space, because creatures in a swarm are packed tightly together and generally crawl over each other and their prey when moving or attacking. Larger swarms are represented by multiples of single swarms. The area occupied by a large swarm is completely shapeable, though the swarm usually remains in contiguous squares.

Traits: A swarm has no clear front or back and no discernible anatomy, so it is not subject to critical hits or flanking. A swarm made up of Tiny creatures takes half damage from slashing and piercing weapons. A swarm composed of Fine or Diminutive creatures is immune to all weapon damage. Reducing a swarm to 0 hit points or less causes it to break up, though damage taken until that point does not degrade its ability to attack or resist attack. Swarms are never staggered or reduced to a dying state by damage. Also, they cannot be tripped, grappled, or bull rushed, and they cannot grapple an opponent.

A swarm is immune to any spell or effect that targets a specific number of creatures (including single-target spells such as disintegrate), with the exception of mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, morale effects, patterns, and phantasms) if the swarm has an Intelligence score and a hive mind. A swarm takes half again as much damage (+50%) from spells or effects that affect an area, such as splash weapons and many evocation spells.

Swarms made up of Diminutive or Fine creatures are susceptible to high winds, such as those created by a gust of wind spell. For purposes of determining the effects of wind on a swarm, treat the swarm as a creature of the same size as its constituent creatures. A swarm rendered unconscious by means of nonlethal damage becomes disorganized and dispersed, and does not reform until its hit points exceed its nonlethal damage.

Now, wild empathy should be able to handle it, but according to this one thread I found that does not seem to be the general heh consensus (if you call 2 out of 3 people a "general consensus").

Quote:

A druid can improve the attitude of an animal. This ability functions just like a Diplomacy check made to improve the attitude of a person. The druid rolls 1d20 and adds her druid level and her Charisma modifier to determine the wild empathy check result.

The typical domestic animal has a starting attitude of indifferent, while wild animals are usually unfriendly.

To use wild empathy, the druid and the animal must be able to study each other, which means that they must be within 30 feet of one another under normal conditions. Generally, influencing an animal in this way takes 1 minute but, as with influencing people, it might take more or less time.

A druid can also use this ability to influence a magical beast with an Intelligence score of 1 or 2, but she takes a –4 penalty on the check.

By my reading that checks out, but people seem to be emphasizing "an" animal, thus limiting the ability to only one-at-a-time, and I can see that as valid.

Does that help?

(If this is real life, I recommend doing the same thing, but results are NOT guaranteed.)

EDIT:

captain yesterday wrote:
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".

Hah! Okay! The above should apply.

Also, you can play a master summoner and just... flood the battlefield with 1d3 chickens that last 1 minute a pop. (Maximize that sucker via rods for 3 chickens a use and SO MANY USES A DAY.)


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Freehold DM wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
How does the General make a character that has a swarm of chickens do her bidding for her.
This may or may not be related to your current state of dress. I don't want to figure it out.
She said "I don't care what edition, or if I'm a circus performer or a space pirate, I want to have a swarm of chickens to do my bidding".
Just get the weird elf kid who doesn't talk to hit one with a sword a few times. Instant swarm.
that brings back so many memories...

1) Scint beat me to it

2) Make new memories with new mute protagonists who needlessly harm chickens here!

I just finished a randomized run starting with Magus (from Chrono Trigger) in the Dark World and working my way into the light world until I got enough everything to take on Ganon! I started with the two rods and the medallions (for "magic!" power), but the latter two didn't help until after I found the sword (because you can't use it without)... and as it happened, said sword was the level four master sword, and from that point on the rods were useless; so a bit of a failed experiment in that regard, but literally everything else about the scenario was awesome! So fun!

To select your character choose all the randomization (or non-randomization) options you want, then build the thing, and only after you've generated it do you select your character and a few final details. Enjoy, all!

(Also, my antivirus, Avast, thought it was Ransomware - it was not; so fair warning that AVs might trigger on it.)


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It's got to be actual chickens, not summoned.

There must be an archetype or something somewhere that does this or something similar.

I thought the player companions usually have weird b~*~#%# crazy archetypes in them but I don't have many of them and figured someone here had seen something somewhere.

No worries, I'll continue looking through the books we have.


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Swarm of chickens? I presume that the General saw the same gif as I saw yesterday.


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A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says "I think I might be a typo."


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What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender.


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Two atoms were walking down the street. Suddenly, one stopped and said "I'm positive that I just lost an electron." The other said "You'd better keep an ion that."


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I'm trying to train rabbits to fly missiles. I want to start a hare force.


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My sousaphone broke today. But don't worry, I fixed it with a tuba glue.


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captain yesterday wrote:

It's got to be actual chickens, not summoned.

There must be an archetype or something somewhere that does this or something similar.

I thought the player companions usually have weird b$~&*!& crazy archetypes in them but I don't have many of them and figured someone here had seen something somewhere.

No worries, I'll continue looking through the books we have.

Well, I mean, they are "actual" chickens (if they were not actual chickens they would be illusions), but that's fine.

So! She wants real, permanent chickens.

(Note: they are one gold each.)

That's actually super easy!

BAM

Quote:

Teach an Animal a Trick

You can teach an animal a specific trick with one week of work and a successful Handle Animal check against the indicated DC. An animal with an Intelligence score of 1 can learn a maximum of three tricks, while an animal with an Intelligence score of 2 can learn a maximum of six tricks.

Note that chickens have an Int of 2, so that means six.

So that's the basics, but here is a list of common tricks.

Quote:

Common Tricks

The following tricks can be taught to animals by training the animal for a week and making a successful Handle Animal skill check against the listed DC.

This list is too big, so making this post smaller by breaking it into chunks of five or less; I skipped some that were impossible for chickens, though I might have a few that are still impossible.

Aid, Attack, Bombard, Break Out, and Build Simple Structure:
Aid (DC 20): The animal can use the aid another action to aid a specific ally in combat by attacking a specific foe the ally is fighting. You point to a particular creature that you wish the animal to aid, and you point to another that you want it to make an attack roll against, and it will comply if able. The normal creature type restrictions governing the attack trick still apply. Source: PZO1140

Attack (DC 20) The animal attacks apparent enemies. You may point to a particular creature that you wish the animal to attack, and it will comply if able. Normally, an animal will attack only humanoids, monstrous humanoids, giants, or other animals. Teaching an animal to attack all creatures (including such unnatural creatures as undead and aberrations) counts as two tricks.

Bombard (DC 20): A flying animal can deliver projectiles on command, attempting to drop a specified item that it can carry (often alchemist’s fire or a similar splash weapon) on a designated point or opponent, using its base attack bonus to determine its attack roll. The animal cannot throw the object, and it must be able to fly directly over the target. Source: PZO1140

Break Out (DC 20): On command, the animal attempts to break or gnaw through bars or bindings restricting it, its handler, or a person indicated by the handler. If the animal cannot break the restraints by itself, its attempts grant the restricted creature a +4 circumstance bonus on Escape Artist checks. Furthermore, the animal can take certain basic actions such as lifting a latch or bringing its master an unattended key. Weight and Strength restrictions still apply, and pickpocketing a key or picking any sort of lock is still far beyond the animal‘s ability. Source: PZO1140

Build Simple Structure (DC 25): The companion can build simple structures on command, limited by its natural abilities and inclinations. The companion is able to build only structures that creatures of its type would naturally build on their own, and this trick merely allows the handler to direct the companion on when and where to build such structures. For example, a spider could be commanded to spin a web between two trees, but it could not be made to create a hammock or a tent out of silk. Similarly, a beaver could be ordered to make a dam or lodge, an alligator a dome-shaped nest, and any burrowing creature a small tunnel or hole. In general, this process takes 10 minutes for each 5-foot square the structure occupies, but depending on the terrain and the type of structure, it might take as little as 1 minute or as much as 1 hour or more, at the GM’s discretion. Only companions that naturally build structures can learn this trick. Source: PZO1140

<SKIP A FEW>

Come, Defend, Deliver, Demolish, Detect:
Come (DC 15) The animal comes to you, even if it normally would not do so.

Defend (DC 20) The animal defends you (or is ready to defend you if no threat is present), even without any command being given. Alternatively, you can command the animal to defend a specific other character.

Deliver (DC 15): The animal takes an object (one you or an ally gives it, or one that it recovers with the fetch trick) to a place or person you indicate. If you indicate a place, the animal drops the item and returns to you. If you indicate a person, the animal stays adjacent to the person until the item is taken. (Retrieving an item from an animal using the deliver trick is a move action.)

Demolish (DC 15): The companion can be commanded to attack and damage objects and structures. A companion must know the attack trick before it can be taught the demolish trick, and the companion must be trained to attack creatures of all types. The companion’s handler can direct it either to make natural attacks against the object in question or to make a Strength check to attempt to break it (if applicable). Source: PZO1140

Detect (DC 25): The animal is trained to seek out the smells of air currents, alchemical items and poisons, unusual noises or echoes, and other common elements that signify the presence of potential dangers or secret passages. When commanded, the animal uses its Perception skill to try to pinpoint the source of anything that strikes it as out of the ordinary about a room or location. Note that because the animal is not intelligent, any number of doors, scents, strange mechanisms, or unfamiliar objects might catch the animal’s attention, and it cannot attempt the same Perception check more than once in this way. Source: PZO1140

Down, Entertain, Exclusive, Feint, Fetch:
Down (DC 15) The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down. An animal that doesn’t know this trick continues to fight until it must flee (due to injury, a fear effect, or the like) or its opponent is defeated.

Entertain (DC 25): The animal can dance, sing, or perform some other impressive and enjoyable trick to entertain those around it. At the command of its owner, the animal can attempt a Perform check (or a Charisma check if it has no ranks in Perform) to show off its talent. Willing onlookers or those who fail an opposed Sense Motive check take a –2 penalty on Perception checks to notice anything but the animal entertaining them. Once an onlooker observes an animal’s entertain trick, that creature cannot be distracted in this way by the same animal for 24 hours. Tricksters and con artists often teach their animals to perform this trick while they pickpocket viewers or sneak about unnoticed. Source: PZO1140

Exclusive (DC 20): The animal takes directions only from the handler who taught it this trick. If an animal has both the exclusive and serve tricks, it takes directions only from the handler that taught it the exclusive trick and those creatures indicated by the trainer’s serve command. An animal with the exclusive trick does not take trick commands from others even if it is friendly or helpful toward them (such as through the result of a charm animal spell), though this does not prevent it from being controlled by other enchantment spells (such as dominate animal), and the animal still otherwise acts as a friendly or helpful creature when applicable.

Feint (DC 20): The companion is trained to feint against opponents. A companion must know the attack trick before it can be taught the feint trick, and it performs feints only against targets it would normally attack. Source: PZO1140

Fetch (DC 15): The animal goes and gets something. If you do not point out a specific item, the animal fetches a random object. Source: PZO1140

Flank, Flee, Get Help, Guard, Guide:

Flank (DC 20): You can instruct an animal to attack a foe you point to and to always attempt to be adjacent to (and threatening) that foe. If you or an ally is also threatening the foe, the animal attempts to flank the foe, if possible. While animals following the attack trick will flank when convenient, this trick instructs them to flank even if doing so denies it a full attack or puts the animal companion at an inconvenience or at risk, such as from attacks of opportunity, dangerous positioning, or difficult terrain. The animal must know the attack trick before it can learn this trick, and it performs it only against foes it would normally attack. Source: PZO1140

Flee (DC 20): The animal attempts to run away or hide as best it can, returning only when its handler commands it to do so. Until such a command is received, the animal does its best to track its handler and any accompanying creatures, remaining hidden but within range of its sight or hearing. This trick is particularly useful for adventurers and thieves in that it allows the animal to evade capture, and then return later to help free its friends. Source: PZO1140

Get Help (DC 20): With this trick, a trainer can designate a number of creatures up to the animal’s Intelligence score as “help.” When the command is given, the animal attempts to find one of those creatures and bring it back to the handler, even if that means journeying a long distance to the last place it encountered the target creature. Source: PZO1140

Guard (DC 20) The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.

Guide (DC 15): The companion can serve as a guide to a character that is blinded or otherwise unable to see. While serving as a guide, the companion remains adjacent to the guided creature at all times, readying an action each round to move when that creature moves. This allows the guided creature to automatically succeed at Acrobatics checks to move at more than half speed while blinded. Additionally, the companion identifies obstacles in the guided creature’s path and pushes them, pulls them, or otherwise signals to the creature how to avoid them, allowing the guided creature to locate and move around obstacles such as hazards, opponents, and other terrain features as though she were able to see them (though she can’t distinguish between obstacles). Finally, while serving as a guide, the companion indicates to the guided creature the presence and direction of any adjacent allies, allowing the guided creature to pinpoint the locations of such creatures. The companion can serve as a guide only as long as it is able to see in some fashion, and its ability to detect and avoid creatures and obstacles is limited by what it is able to perceive normally. Source: PZO1140

Heel, Hunt, Intimidate, Maneuver, or Mark Territory:

Heel (DC 15) The animal follows you closely, even to places where it normally wouldn’t go.

Hunt (DC 20): This trick allows an animal to use its natural stalking or foraging instincts to find food and return it to the animal’s handler. an animal with this trick can attempt Survival checks (or Wisdom checks, if the animal has no ranks in Survival) to provide food for others or lead them to water and shelter (as the “get along in the wild” use of the Survival skill). an animal with this trick can use the aid another action to grant a bonus on its handlers Survival checks for these purposes. Source: PZO1140

Intimidate (DC 15): The companion bares its teeth, barks, bristles, growls, or otherwise threatens a creature you designate, or, alternatively, it can be trained to do so when it encounters any creature besides its handler. The companion takes a –4 penalty on Intimidate checks against creatures other than those with the animal or humanoid types unless it has also been trained to attack creatures of any type. A companion that knows this trick automatically uses the aid another action to assist Intimidate checks attempted by its handler, provided that it is within 15 feet of its handler at the time and has not been ordered to perform another task. Source: PZO1140

Maneuver (DC 20): The animal is trained to use a specific combat maneuver on command, even when it naturally wouldn’t do so (animals typically use combat maneuvers only when using a monster ability to make a free combat maneuver, since otherwise it would provoke an attack of opportunity). an animal must know the attack trick before it can be taught the maneuver trick, and it performs maneuvers only against targets it would normally attack. This trick can be taught to an animal multiple times. Each time it is taught, the animal can be commanded to use a different combat maneuver. Source: PZO1140

Mark Territory (DC 25): Whether by spraying musk, rubbing its back against trees and rocks, or simply howling loudly, the companion lets other nearby animals know that it has claimed an area. By spending 1 hour performing this trick, the companion can mark an area of up to half a square mile in this fashion. If it does so, after 24 hours, whenever there would be a random encounter within that area that involves a wild animal or other creature of Intelligence 2 or less (including vermin but not other mindless creatures, such as oozes and mindless undead), there is a 25% chance that the encounter doesn’t actually occur, as creatures might be warded off by the markings. The companion must renew any territorial markings at least once per week, or they lose their effectiveness. There is also a 10% chance per week that the markings attract the attention of a powerful predator, which actively seeks out the companion to challenge it (and its master) for the territory. Source: PZO1140

Menace, Perform, Pose as Scenery, Receive Spell, Rescue:

Menace (DC 20): A menacing animal attempts to keep a creature you indicate from moving. It does its best to dissuade the target, but it attacks only if the target attempts to move from its present location or take any significant action (particularly a hostile-seeming action). As soon as the target stops moving, the animal ceases attacking but it continues to menace. Source: PZO1140

<SKIP>

Perform (DC 15) The animal performs a variety of simple tricks, such as sitting up, rolling over, roaring or barking, and so on.

Pose as Scenery (DC 20): The companion freezes in place, seeming to be a mundane plant rather than a plant creature. The companion must have taken root in order to use this trick. It attempts a Disguise check with a +8 circumstance bonus, opposed by the Perception checks of observers. If it succeeds at the opposed check, the observer mistakes it for an ordinary, harmless plant. The companion must have the take root trick in order to learn this trick. Only plant companions can learn this trick. Source: PZO1140

Receive Spell (DC 25): The companion has been trained to be the recipient of a specific spell (chosen at the time the animal is taught the trick), allowing it to fully take advantage of the spell’s effects. The spell should be one that grants the companion an ability it might not normally be intelligent enough to make use of or one that it might not even realize it has (such as air walk ). The companion is able to recognize when it has been affected by this spell and can take full advantage of the spell’s effects. At the GM’s discretion, a companion can also be trained to receive certain nonspell effects, such as those granted by an elixir of fire breathing. The companion can be taught this trick multiple times; each time it learns this trick, it becomes trained to utilize a different spell effect. Source: PZO1140

Rescue (DC 20): The companion has been trained to drag its handler or another creature that the handler designates out of danger and to a safe place in the event that the handler or creature is incapacitated. If a creature that the companion is defending is rendered helpless or is slain, the companion will carry, drag, or otherwise move that creature out of danger. If the companion knows the get help trick, it will attempt to bring the creature it is rescuing to one of the creatures designated as “help.” Otherwise, you can designate a single location in advance as a safe place, and the companion will attempt to bring the creature it is rescuing to that place. If it is unable to do either of these, the companion simply moves the creature to the nearest location of relative safety. A companion must have the deliver and guard tricks in order to learn this trick. Source: PZO1140

Seek, Serve, Sneak, Speak, Stay:

Seek (DC 15) The animal moves into an area and looks around for anything that is obviously alive or animate.

Serve (DC 15): An animal with this trick willingly takes orders from a creature you designate. If the creature you tell the animal to serve knows what tricks the animal has, it can instruct the animal to perform these tricks using your Handle Animal bonus on the check instead of its own. The animal treats the designated ally as friendly. An animal can unlearn this trick with 1 week of training. This trick can be taught to an animal multiple times. Each time it is taught, the animal can serve an additional creature you designate.

Sneak (DC 15): The animal can be ordered to make Stealth checks in order to stay hidden and to continue using Stealth even when circumstances or its natural instincts would normally cause it to abandon secrecy.

Speak (DC 25): The companion is able to communicate very simple concepts through barks, gestures, whistles, or similar actions. The companion’s vocabulary is extremely limited, generally restricted to “yes,” “no,” and counting up to three. The companion is also able to recognize and respond to up to two specific questions per point of Intelligence. The companion does not so much understand the words as recognize the sound of them, and it responds accordingly. This trick does not actually increase the companion’s capacity to understand concepts and ideas; it can be taught a way to communicate the concept of “food,” for example, but it won’t distinguish cooked food from raw food, and it might not even recognize as food anything that is not part of its own diet. A companion must have an Intelligence score of 2 or higher to learn this trick. Source: PZO1140

<SKIP>

Stay (DC 15) The animal stays in place, waiting for you to return. It does not challenge other creatures that come by, though it still defends itself if it needs to.

Subdue, Watch, Work:

Subdue (DC 15): The companion can attempt to subdue opponents. Once the command is given, the companion makes all its natural attacks as nonlethal attacks (taking the typical –4 penalty on attack rolls when using normally lethal attacks) until ordered to do otherwise. Source: PZO1140

<SKIP>

Watch (DC 15): The animal can be commanded to keep watch over a particular area, such as a campsite, and to raise an alarm if it notices any dangerous or sizable creature entering the area. Source: PZO1140

<SKIP>

Work (DC 15) The animal pulls or pushes a medium or heavy load.

Of course, you might just want to train them for a purpose.

Quote:

Train an Animal for a Purpose

Rather than teaching an animal individual tricks, you can simply train it for a general purpose. Essentially, an animal’s purpose represents a preselected set of known tricks that fit into a common scheme, such as guarding or heavy labor. The animal must meet all the normal prerequisites for all tricks included in the training package. If the package includes more than three tricks, the animal must have an Intelligence score of 2.

An animal can be trained for only one general purpose, though if the creature is capable of learning additional tricks (above and beyond those included in its general purpose), it may do so. Training an animal for a purpose requires fewer checks than teaching individual tricks does, but no less time.

Purpose: DC
Air Support: 20
Burglar: 25
Fighting: 20
Guarding: 20
Heavy Labor: 15
Hunting: 20
Liberator: 25
Performance: 15
Servant: 20

Finally, there are optional rules for Unchained.

Quote:

Handle Animal Unchained

Source PFU

<skip>

With sufficient ranks in Handle Animal, you earn the following.

5 Ranks: Creatures you have trained gain a +2 bonus on Will saves when adjacent to you.

10 Ranks: Creatures you have trained gain a +2 bonus on Will saves whenever you are within 30 feet and clearly visible. You can teach a trick in 1 day by increasing the DC by 20.

15 Ranks: You can train an animal to understand your speech (as speak with animals) with 1 week of effort and a successful DC 30 Handle Animal check. Its actions are still limited by its Intelligence. You can teach a trick in 1 day (increasing the DC by 10) or 1 hour (increasing the DC by 20).

<SKIP>

Now, you may think that such a thing takes too long or isn't exactly a swarm, or whatever. And that's fair. However!

Everybody but druids, monks, sorcerers, summoners, and wizards start off with 100+ gold (those guys start with ~70, except the monk, who's at ~35) on average.

Trained Hirelings (those with, you know, actual skill ranks) cost about 3 silver a day for non-deadly jobs.

30 gold nets you 100 hirelings a day.
Let's even that out a bit - we want a looooooooot of chickens.

So, presuming a "worst" case scenario, monk

- 14 gold nets 14 chickens
- usually takes a week for a trick; that's 21 silver for a hireling, allowing us up to 10 hirelings at that rate (210 silver -> 21 gold)

So, at first level, you can expend your average starting cash of a monk, half your starting cash for a druid, sorcerer, summoner, or wizard, or a fraction of it for more, and have ten well-trained chickens (and four untrained chickens).

Now, "But, Tactics!" I hear you saying, "Ten (or fourteen) isn't a proper swarm!" And you'd be right! It's not! But! ... it is enough for a diminutive army! A diminutive army of chickens! Now, of course, at CR 1/6, and a -6 penalty, it doesn't teeeeeeeechnically work. But still! A diminutive army of chickens!

That said, at level two, we're cooking with gas, baby! ... well, almost.

See, at that level, we've about 1,000 gold (more or less) to play with... well, probably about 250.

Now, we know that it takes 21 gold per week to train 10 chickens for a thing, and every 10 chickens is 10 gold. That's 31 gold per week, all-told. That's gorgeous! 250/31 -> eighty trained chickens!

31+31+31+31+31+31+31+31=62+62+62+62=124+124=248

That's almost an army (CR 1/6-2 = not quite enough)! Dang it! We're 20 chickens shy... though if you've kept those original 10-14 we're doing really close at 90 to 94!
It's actually close enough at 90 that I could see a GM allowing it at "CR-1" instead of "CR-2" but that would be a house rule.

And if you've got the Handle Animal skill, you can take over the rest of the way: pop that extra 6 gold down after, like, a single battle, spend a couple well, six weeks with a DIY attitude, and you've officially got 100 trained battle chickens, and a CR 1/6 army! BOOYA~!

That's like having an army of fifty spellcasters at your command! Fifty! Spellcasters! WAT~! THAT'S CRAAAAAZY~!

(And at 3rd level with 3k, you're just being a super-star at that point. You've easily got 750 plunked down on this thing, and that's another 160 chickens easy, netting you a nice 360 army, aka "CR 1/3 army" - and at four you're up to easily 500 chickens, aka, "CR 1" and at 5 you can skip straight to CR 2, aka, "I am the master of reality via chicken" level. Bear in mind, you're fighting ~CR 5 monsters at that level... which translates into CR 5-8=>5->4->3->2->1->1/2->1/3->1/4->1/6. In other words, it's like putting a second level fighter up against... a common chicken. Only your chickens are the fighter, and that fifth level boss monster is the chicken. SUCK POULTRY DOOM, DRAGON! And there's a built-in celebratory feast afterwords, too! It's win-win!)

Now, of course, waiting until level 2 for your chicken army is... well, I'm going to admit, it's rough to say the least. I get that. I do.

But... how can you solve such a perplexing conundrum?

... easily.

May I present, your asked-for-miracle, the impossible, the beautiful, the absolute: Rich Parents trait

BAM, BABY

That is 900 gold.

It no longer matters what class you start as.

As established, 31 gold = 10 trained chickens.

So, 290 chickens later, you're left with a nice shiny gold piece remaining, and a CR 1/3 army that is, by default, capable of curb-stomping literally anything you come across at that level.

You're welcome, America. You're. Welcome.

(Also, you should probably have one of these guys built, and maybe ride one of these guys into battle for maximum theming, but that's really optional; the latter requires 1,500 gold, so you're likely waiting 'til you've hit that third level anyway, and I don't know how much the first one costs. Well, technically, it only costs one scroll that happens to have animate objects and permanency on it, but you know.)

Suuuuuuuuuuuuper unrelated, I now know what my next character is going to be.


(Also, as the swarm rules note, it's about 300 non-flying creatures, or 1,000 flying creatures; so you can get a non-flying chicken swarm almost at character creation - once you've made 31 total gold, you can upgrade them to an actual swarm. If you want a swarm that flies, however, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until you net another 700 chickens, and that's 2,170 more gold - so that'll have to be put off until at least 3rd level by averages.)


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I love you, you chicken swimping maniac.


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As an aside, you're likely wondering, "But, TL, how do I possibly take care of that many chickens?!"

The answer, as always, is simple.

The key, of course, is how you have your hirelings train your chickens.

While it unfortunately delays your unstoppable army of super-chickens, you can have them all trained in the "hunting" trick first. This instantly makes your chickens self-sufficient. See, it's a skill check (for your chickens, that's a wisdom check) with a DC 10, and your chickens have a +1 bonus.

What's more, this not only takes care of your chickens, but also of you, and resolves your financial concerns at the same time.

So here's the brilliant part: your chickens can take 10, but, statistically, it's better that they don't. While some will succeed, and some will fail, you'll (on average) balance out.

Because, some of them (about 5%) will roll a natural 20.

This, of course, nets them a 21 total on the check.

Survival notes this:

Quote:
Get along in the wild. Move up to half your overland speed while hunting and foraging (no food or water supplies needed). You can provide food and water for one other person for every 2 points by which your check result exceeds 10.

WHA-WHA-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

This means that they can feed 21-10=11; 11/2=5 FIVE additional people per day... PER CHICKEN AT TWENTY.

If all 290 chickens made that, that's, like... TONS OF PEOPLE!

(Literally, it's 1,450; each person weighs over a hundred pounds, so that's going to be 145,000 lbs., or 72.5 US tons.)

But, of course, hashtag not-all-chickens.

So, to statistics!

14.5 (5%) of your starting chickens are going to roll a any given number below 9: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. That's 116 chickens that fail to feed themselves. Ouch!

... however.

14.5 chickens will roll a 9 (with a +1, nets them 10)
14.5 will roll a 10 (with a +1, nets them 11)

That's 29 that will fend for themselves.

Then 29 will roll an 11 or 12 (totals 12 and 13); this feeds themselves and 29 more.

And then 29 more will roll 13 and 14 (totals 14 and 15), which feeds 58 more chickens.

And then 29 more will roll 15/16 (16/17), feeding 87 chickens. Hold the phone, that's 29+58+87=174 "extra" chickens fed! WHAT! But we only needed to feed 116 chickens! So that leaves an extra 174-116=58 meals!

Okay, then 29 more will hit that sweet 17/18 (18/19 results) range, or 116 more folks - that's 116+58=174 extra meals!

Then the final 29 will hit that glorious 19/20 mark, landing 20/21 results, and 145 extra meals... or 174+145=319 extra meals per day! YEAH, BABY~! WE INNIT NOW~!

So that 319... let's just say they're pretty lousy meals, yeah? Like super-basic at best. Heck, let's even say they're only good for tiny critters like chickens. That's fine! We're just going to go easy on it, and use the basics.

So, we know that it takes about 1/4 the weight for small as it does for medium, and 4 times the amount for large as for medium. This gives us a very solid baseline. So at 1/4 for tiny (the step below small) we can see that this provides food for 1/16 the number of medium creatures.

That's just under 20 (it's 19.9375), but with the addition of a single Aid Another check we can pump that up to 20.

Now, a poor meal sells for 1 silver; we could hypothetically make 20 silver off our extra meals! But let's say the GM (reasonably) makes us sell for half-price (after all, "Meals from My Chickens (tm)" might be disappointing if it was brought by chickens, not being made from them), so that's 10 silver per day of selling stuff.

But that's brilliant! At 10 silver (1 gold) per day, our army of survivalist chickens is paying for their eventual rise to glory!

Of course, if you save 10 * 1/6 * 5 => or 8 gold, 3 silver, and 3 copper per chicken (or just 8 gold and 4 silver), you can retrain your chickens, ejecting the rather useless fly skill they have 1 rank in it to achieve a -4 with a clumsy maneuverability giving them a -8: -8 clumsy, +1 rank, +3 class skill -> -4, and nabbing a shiny new +5 in survival; this only accelerates their value, though, of course, it takes a minor fortune, depending on how many you have (about 2,436 gold for your starting 290), so I'm not entirely sure it's worth it, financially, though it could help save a city from starvation! Neat!

At any rate, your chickens can make money for you, even if just a bit. And you can recoup heh your initial investment in under three years! That's actually not bad; a chicken lives (on average) about 5 years, allowing you to acquire and train 290, net 365 gold a year, then 5 years later make 1,825 gold back; pop 900 gold down again and continue to double your cash every five years! That's a really good investment for most people, even today!

Granted, you'll be spending some of that income on stuff, but an average lifestyle is 10 gold per month; that's only 120/year, or 600 total; this means you've turned 325 gold in pure profit (no additional costs) over five years - this is after paying all associated costs, including employee wages, and your own life expenses!

... of course, you could always pour that extra cash back into the system, increasing your profit margin even more!

And none of this even considers successful eggs generated by said chickens leading to more chickens! BEHOLD THE GLORY OF CHICKEN~!


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Freehold DM wrote:
I love you, you chicken swimping maniac.

AND I LOVE YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN~!


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I just want to see the chicken dojo, with hundreds of chickens doing basic chicken kata in sequence.


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Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

Master Chicken: pecks Cluck!

Thousands of Chicken Trainees: pecks CLUCK!

The General, watching from the shadows, steepling her fingers: Excellent...


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Of course, on the wall of the chicken dojo is a portrait of their most hated enemy: a smiling elderly man in a white suit, a bow tie, mustache, goatee, and glasses holding a red-and-white striped bucket.


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... of course the best option is a level 1 ranger with maximum starting cash please, GM?, and the rich parents trait, and the "dusk agent" regional trait, netting a cool 1500 starting gold, chickens cost 9 silver instead of 1 gold, and the meals you sell net 1 silver and 1 copper instead of 1 silver (presuming worst possible deals).

That's just... lovely, really.

27.9 gold for 10 chickens each week.

537 chickens to start with, and 17.7 gold... or, go whole-hog and get 6 more trained chickens (543 total), and have 9 silver and 6 copper remaining.

That 543 breaks down like this, then:

27.15 per number on the dice (5%).

1-8 (can't feed self): 217.2 total.
9-10 (feed self each): 54.3 total.
11-12 (feed self+1 each): 54.3 total.
13-14 (feed self+2 each): 54.3 total.
15-16 (feed self+3 each): 54.3 total.
17-18 (feed self+4 each): 54.3 total.
19-20 (feed self+5 each): 54.3 total.

54.3*15 "bonus" meals = 814.5 "bonus" meals.

579.3 remaining "bonus" meals after feeding other chickens.

That's ~> 37 "poor" meals (presuming worst values).

Sell for half, that's 18.5 silver per day, BUT our trait lets us sell for +10% more, or or 20.35 silver in a day (2 gold, 3 or 4 copper a day).

It takes 737+ days, really 738 days, to exceed loss values.

That's two years and juuuuuuuuust a bit (7.1+ days; really 8 'cause game math). That leaves us just at three years' profit over the five years, or really close to 2228 gold; -600 for lifestyle, you're sitting pretty at 1628 gold per five years.

Hey, look at that, that's just enough to not only double your business (1500 gold again, total 3k, nets you another 543 chickens, or 1,086), but also have 128 gold remaining profit.

I mean, we could go on, and should, really, for science, but it's 2AM for some reason and I'm am stupidly exhausted. Good niiiiiiiiiiiight~!


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Freehold DM wrote:
I just want to see the chicken dojo, with hundreds of chickens doing basic chicken kata in sequence.

I do, too, Freehold. I. Do. Too.

gran rey de los mono wrote:
Of course, on the wall of the chicken dojo is a portrait of their most hated enemy: a smiling elderly man in a white suit, a bow tie, mustache, goatee, and glasses holding a red-and-white striped bucket.

They must be careful. As it turns out, he's actually a very powerful super. Very powerful.

The Cluckari-gama is born...


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https://www.d20pfsrd.com/traits/regional-traits/trait-regional-duskwalker-a gent/

https://www.d20pfsrd.com/traits/social-traits/rich-parents/

In case I didn't link those before. Now good night~!


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Tacticslion wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

It's got to be actual chickens, not summoned.

There must be an archetype or something somewhere that does this or something similar.

I thought the player companions usually have weird b$~&*!& crazy archetypes in them but I don't have many of them and figured someone here had seen something somewhere.

No worries, I'll continue looking through the books we have.

Well, I mean, they are "actual" chickens (if they were not actual chickens they would be illusions), but that's fine.

So! She wants real, permanent chickens.

(Note: they are one gold each.)

That's actually super easy!

BAM

Quote:

Teach an Animal a Trick

You can teach an animal a specific trick with one week of work and a successful Handle Animal check against the indicated DC. An animal with an Intelligence score of 1 can learn a maximum of three tricks, while an animal with an Intelligence score of 2 can learn a maximum of six tricks.

Note that chickens have an Int of 2, so that means six.

So that's the basics, but here is a list of common tricks.

Quote:

Common Tricks

The following tricks can be taught to animals by training the animal for a week and making a successful Handle Animal skill check against the listed DC.

This list is too big, so making this post smaller by breaking it into chunks of five or less; I skipped some that were impossible for chickens, though I might have a few that are still impossible.

** spoiler omitted **

...

That is some super spectacular sluething there.

Unfortunately, it turns out it's gotta be for 2nd edition as she's decided that's her character for Extinction Curse (the circus/tree hugger AP).


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I think I've figured it out, I'll make it a class feat or ancestry feat or something, I've got the rough frame in my head, I'll post it later.


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Thank you, Tac!

That is really some spectacular rules crunching there! I'll definitely reference it for future campaigns or whenever someone (the General) has some b#$@&~! crazy thing they want to do with training animals.

And it really underscores how you can literally do anything with Pathfinder (Classic and 2) or Starfinder, which is why I love Paizo.


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We decided that the chicken is a bird of prey animal companion.

Scarab Sages

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Urg.

So
Much
Slime


Then of course is what I like to call the “1,000 chicken mamba” (though my wife calls it, “aaaaaaaggghhh >raspberry noise<“) I don’t actually think that collection of words and sounds - except for the raspberry noise by my wife - has been uttered or written by either of us before this moment, considering I discovers this whole thing only last night while falling asleep which requires:

1) a GM willing to house rule traits
2) a human
3) “oops all rich parents trait”
4) ranger (optional)

This nets you two traits, additional traits for two more traits, and additional traits (human bonus) for two more traits.

Six traits times 900g each nets 5400 starting gold.

This lovely collection of cash invested into chickens nets you 1,000 chickens with two tricks each, and a cool 200 in cash remaining (up to 500 with a maximized ranger starting cash).

Weeeeeeeeeee~


Cantankerous Rules Lawyer wrote:
We decided that the chicken is a bird of prey animal companion.

This is correct.


Woran wrote:

Urg.

So
Much
Slime

I’m sorry. Sick sucks. Feel better soon!

Scarab Sages

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There is also a PF1 archetype for the druid. A vermin thing. That lets your familiar turn into a swarm. From blood of the beast I think?


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She will also be a gnome so she might take the ancestry feat that grants a familiar, so she can have two chickens.

I tried convincing her to be an alchemist so she could get an alchemical familiar at first level and have Frankenchicken (a fox got in the hen house, I recovered what I could!) but no dice!


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captain yesterday wrote:

She will also be a gnome so she might take the ancestry feat that grants a familiar, so she can have two chickens.

I tried convincing her to be an alchemist so she could get an alchemical familiar at first level and have Frankenchicken (a fox got in the hen house, I recovered what I could!) but no dice!

I endorse this.


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Woran wrote:

Urg.

So
Much
Slime

That just makes me think of a hagfish.


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Tiny T-Rex is making a character based on Spider-Man, a Monk with the aerialist background and will take Sorcerer dedication at 2nd level so he can get the tanglefoot cantrip (you can cast cantrips as many times a day as you want).


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Woran wrote:

Urg.

So
Much
Slime

the good kind or the bad kind?

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