Deep 6 FaWtL

[Vanykrye]

lisamarlene wrote:

Great. I want a band of goblins to swarm my house, punch my laptop, and set it on fire, so I can stop working.

Did I hear somebody say "arson"?

[lisamarlene]

Vanykrye wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Great. I want a band of goblins to swarm my house, punch my laptop, and set it on fire, so I can stop working.

Did I hear somebody say "arson"?

You may want to be careful around fire when naked, even if you are a dragon.

[Drejk]

lisamarlene wrote:

Great. I want a band of goblins to swarm my house, punch my laptop, and set it on fire, so I can stop working.

Nooo! Don't destroy working laptop!

Send it to me instead, and say it completely exploded after goblin set it on fire.

[lisamarlene]

Drejk wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Great. I want a band of goblins to swarm my house, punch my laptop, and set it on fire, so I can stop working.

Nooo! Don't destroy working laptop!

Send it to me instead, and say it completely exploded after goblin set it on fire.

You're right.

They should concentrate their efforts on something nearby, like my kitchen or my laundry, so I have an excuse for not getting this done.

[Celestial Healer]

I mean, after you’ve burned all the laundry, nobody will expect you to wash it. So there’s that.

[Drejk]

Celestial Healer wrote:

I mean, after you’ve burned all the laundry, nobody will expect you to wash it. So there’s that.

Setting kitchen on fire might have folks expect you to continue cooking on that fire, on the other hand.

[Celestial Healer]

Drejk wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

I mean, after you’ve burned all the laundry, nobody will expect you to wash it. So there’s that.

Setting kitchen on fire might have folks expect you to continue cooking on that fire, on the other hand.

In my experience, if you set the kitchen on fire they never let you near the kitchen again.

[captain yesterday]

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

[Freehold DM]

Just applied to another job. Starting to get the hang of this looking for work thing.

[lisamarlene]

captain yesterday wrote:

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

I've set other rooms on fire while cooking, but never the kitchen itself.

I mean, I had smudged the house with sage while making a big lasagna, so when the sage wand fell down into the candle and lit the wall and foyer carpet on fire, I assumed it was cheese and sauce bubbling over in the oven, so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector and didn't think twice.

Then WW walked out into the hall, looked down the stairwell, and noticed the flames.

I grabbed a shirt off the laundry pile, leapt down the steps, and put it out.

A friend helped WW replace the bit of carpeting and repaint the wall. Our landlord never knew.

Okay, I was ridiculously young at the time.

I haven't burned a sage wand, or made lasagna, in the 20-odd years since.

[Vidmaster7]

When I was 11 I set a toaster on fire but in my defense it was full of crumbs and I was 11.

[Vidmaster7]

I tell ya the best thing I did for my mental health is un-attaching my ego from my place of work. People trash talk the place. That's fine it's not my fault housekeeping sucks. etc. etc. It just bounces off me.

[Orthos]

Closest I've come was putting a safety pin thru those holes in the prongs of a plug, then trying to plug it in. Thankfully all that happened was a small spark and some smoke, nothing was really damaged. Well, except the safety pin, it got completely scorched and broke to pieces.

I was also somewhere in the preteen age range at the time, for reference.

[Vidmaster7]

Now electrocuting myself. I used to do that all the time growing up.
Usually while plugging something in a outlet. was also almost struck by lighting once. my hair stood up. IT struck super close to me. I kept thinking I would get electric powers like Ernest in Ernest goes to jail.

[gran rey de los mono]

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

I've set other rooms on fire while cooking, but never the kitchen itself.

I mean, I had smudged the house with sage while making a big lasagna, so when the sage wand fell down into the candle and lit the wall and foyer carpet on fire, I assumed it was cheese and sauce bubbling over in the oven, so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector and didn't think twice.

Then WW walked out into the hall, looked down the stairwell, and noticed the flames.

I grabbed a shirt off the laundry pile, leapt down the steps, and put it out.

A friend helped WW replace the bit of carpeting and repaint the wall. Our landlord never knew.

Okay, I was ridiculously young at the time.

I haven't burned a sage wand, or made lasagna, in the 20-odd years since.

You have reminded me of the time my Mom almost burned the house down. Okay, "almost" is an overstatement but it wasn't good. She had one of those big ass candles that are like 8" in diameter and a foot or so tall. Had three or four wicks in it so it could burn somewhat evenly. She had had it for years and never lit it. It was a decorative piece, sitting on a coffee table surrounded by a fake flower candle-wreath thing. One day, she decided to light it. She didn't remove the fake flowers from around it, and she didn't even stay in the room it was in. Just lit it and walked away. A few minutes later, the smoke alarm starts blaring, and I come up from the basement (it was a finished basement, had a living room, second kitchen, and half bath down there. really nice.) to see what was going on. Mom is shouting "Help me!", so I rush into the room to see that the plastic wreath has caught fire and there are 3' tall flames on the middle of the coffee table. I grab a fire extinguisher, and she yells "NO! NOT IN THE HOUSE!! HELP ME TAKE IT OUTSIDE!!!" So, we open the front door (it was a double door), carry the flaming coffee table out into the front yard, and then I am allowed to douse it with the extinguisher. Luckily, nothing too bad happened. There was a bit of black soot on the ceiling, some melted wax had dribbled off into the carpet as we moved the table, and the table was pretty heavily scorched. I then yelled at her for all the dumb things she did (lighting the candle without removing the wreath, leaving a lit candle unattended, making me carry the table outside). Then when Dad came home and heard what happened, he yelled at her for the same things. And yelled at me for not just using the extinguisher in the first place. We also told her she was no longer allowed to have candle wreaths, even if she promised not to light the candles.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Now electrocuting myself. I used to do that all the time growing up.

Usually while plugging something in a outlet. was also almost struck by lighting once. my hair stood up. IT struck super close to me. I kept thinking I would get electric powers like Ernest in Ernest goes to jail.

When I was in high school, I would mow the yard for spending money. We had a corded electric weedeater that I would use for trimming. For an entire summer, I wondered why it felt like I was being bitten/stung by small insects on the fingers of one hand while using the weedeater. I just assumed it was some weird response to the vibration. Then one day I went to unplug the extension cord so I could use it for something else (that cord generally just stayed plugged into the weedeater at all times, but it was the only one we had that was long enough for what I needed) and noticed that there was a small tear in the insulation that exposed a tiny bit of bare wire. So, every time I was using the weedeater I was getting small shocks when my hand touched that little bit of bare wire. Showed it to my Dad, we got a new extension cord, and no more shocks.

[Vidmaster7]

... That sounds like something my mom would do too.

[gran rey de los mono]

I have a stone that I carry around in order to throw it at people who sing Christmas Carols before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

[gran rey de los mono]

Is there a maximum age for getting a circumcision? Just curious if there's a cut-off date.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Now electrocuting myself. I used to do that all the time growing up.

Usually while plugging something in a outlet. was also almost struck by lighting once. my hair stood up. IT struck super close to me. I kept thinking I would get electric powers like Ernest in Ernest goes to jail.

When I was in high school, I would mow the yard for spending money. We had a corded electric weedeater that I would use for trimming. For an entire summer, I wondered why it felt like I was being bitten/stung by small insects on the fingers of one hand while using the weedeater. I just assumed it was some weird response to the vibration. Then one day I went to unplug the extension cord so I could use it for something else (that cord generally just stayed plugged into the weedeater at all times, but it was the only one we had that was long enough for what I needed) and noticed that there was a small tear in the insulation that exposed a tiny bit of bare wire. So, every time I was using the weedeater I was getting small shocks when my hand touched that little bit of bare wire. Showed it to my Dad, we got a new extension cord, and no more shocks.

So it was powering it and charging you at the same time. Nice. Fun fact to go along with that you can die from as little as 42 volts of Alternating current.(a bit unlikely mind you.)

[gran rey de los mono]

I read a great book about lubrication. I found it in the non-friction section.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I have a stone that I carry around in order to throw it at people who sing Christmas Carols before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

I used to think that song was rock music when I was little. Now a days I barely notice the difference from it and any other Christmas carol. Maybe my years of heavy metal have increased my tolerance.

[gran rey de los mono]

VW should really make an electric car called the Voltswagon.

[Vidmaster7]

I feel like your jokes today are from questionable websites that might also put advertisements in the corner of the page. The advertisements are very inappropriate.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Now electrocuting myself. I used to do that all the time growing up.

Usually while plugging something in a outlet. was also almost struck by lighting once. my hair stood up. IT struck super close to me. I kept thinking I would get electric powers like Ernest in Ernest goes to jail.

When I was in high school, I would mow the yard for spending money. We had a corded electric weedeater that I would use for trimming. For an entire summer, I wondered why it felt like I was being bitten/stung by small insects on the fingers of one hand while using the weedeater. I just assumed it was some weird response to the vibration. Then one day I went to unplug the extension cord so I could use it for something else (that cord generally just stayed plugged into the weedeater at all times, but it was the only one we had that was long enough for what I needed) and noticed that there was a small tear in the insulation that exposed a tiny bit of bare wire. So, every time I was using the weedeater I was getting small shocks when my hand touched that little bit of bare wire. Showed it to my Dad, we got a new extension cord, and no more shocks.

So it was powering it and charging you at the same time. Nice. Fun fact to go along with that you can die from as little as 42 volts of Alternating current.(a bit unlikely mind you.)

The voltage isn't really the problem, it's the amperage that'll get ya.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

I feel like your jokes today are from questionable websites that might also put advertisements in the corner of the page. The advertisements are very inappropriate.

I wouldn't know, I have Adblocker.

[Darth Draconis]

Did someone mention ARSON?!?

[Singed Vidmaster7]

I certainly hope not.

[lisamarlene]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Is there a maximum age for getting a circumcision? Just curious if there's a cut-off date.

I vaguely remember a Northern Exposure episode where Holling gets one because Shelly tells him his d**k looks like it's wearing a turtleneck.

Of course, that's what passed for good television back then.

[Vidmaster7]

I have heard of that show but never watched it.

[Woran]

Stupid brain. Let me enjoy some things. I know I also have work to do, but I also get to relax, please!

[Vidmaster7]

Have you tried bribing it. Chocolate usually works for me.

[Drejk]

Fantasy Monster: Chemix Gremlin, infester of hospitals and laboratories.

[Freehold DM]

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

I've set other rooms on fire while cooking, but never the kitchen itself.

I mean, I had smudged the house with sage while making a big lasagna, so when the sage wand fell down into the candle and lit the wall and foyer carpet on fire, I assumed it was cheese and sauce bubbling over in the oven, so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector and didn't think twice.

Then WW walked out into the hall, looked down the stairwell, and noticed the flames.

I grabbed a shirt off the laundry pile, leapt down the steps, and put it out.

A friend helped WW replace the bit of carpeting and repaint the wall. Our landlord never knew.

Okay, I was ridiculously young at the time.

I haven't burned a sage wand, or made lasagna, in the 20-odd years since.

you are still ridiculously young.

[NobodysHome]

NobodysHome's Childhood Fire Tales:

(Looks at size of thread. Realizes he would double it. Shuts mouth.)

More seriously, three quick ones:
(1) My father loved to burn trash in the fireplace. He burned a bunch of cardboard and the ashes went up the chimney and lit the roof on fire. We'd been playing in the water in the back yard and I had no pants on (I was 7 or 8). Once the fire engines and the crowd of onlookers was dutifully gathered around, I was forced to go out front so they could make sure I was OK. Standing in my undies in front of dozens of strangers was far more terrifying than the fire.

(2) As we experimented with flammable substances in my teen years, we tried gasoline. The 6' flames filling our back patio were impressive. Even more impressive was trying to use water to put them out. (The gasoline floats on the water and keeps burning, so we had a raging, floating fire that we used a spray hose to corral and limit to the patio until it burned itself out.)

(3) Also as a teen, my friend was frying dumplings in a pot of boiling oil. When she wasn't looking, I threw in an ice cube. The fireballs searing the ceiling were most impressive and satisfying...

[Pyromaniac]

Go on. Go on.

[lisamarlene]

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

I've set other rooms on fire while cooking, but never the kitchen itself.

I mean, I had smudged the house with sage while making a big lasagna, so when the sage wand fell down into the candle and lit the wall and foyer carpet on fire, I assumed it was cheese and sauce bubbling over in the oven, so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector and didn't think twice.

Then WW walked out into the hall, looked down the stairwell, and noticed the flames.

I grabbed a shirt off the laundry pile, leapt down the steps, and put it out.

A friend helped WW replace the bit of carpeting and repaint the wall. Our landlord never knew.

Okay, I was ridiculously young at the time.

I haven't burned a sage wand, or made lasagna, in the 20-odd years since.

you are still ridiculously young.

Not according to the checker and bagger at the Trader Joe's on Friday.

grumble grumble grumble

Yep, still not over it.

[Darth Draconis]

Please give some more tales from NobodysFirestarter.

[lisamarlene]

I'm posting this here because I can't just text it to NH.

[Celestial Healer]

lisamarlene wrote:

I'm posting this here because I can't just text it to NH.

The whole ballot proposition system in California is bewildering to me. Do people actually like it?

[lisamarlene]

Celestial Healer wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

I'm posting this here because I can't just text it to NH.

The whole ballot proposition system in California is bewildering to me. Do people actually like it?

Here's what I liked about voting in California: I had to study before an election for hours, like cramming for a final exam. There was a sense of urgency to each vote, like trying to defuse a suitcase nuke before the timer ran down. I felt like my vote was important.

Here in Texas, my entire ballot was a string of "Red or Blue? Red or Blue? Red or Blue?" My actual vote is probably more important here, but it *feels* less so, because I don't have to do any real work. (Yes, I do read up on the candidates and review the records of incumbents, but if there is a candidate running on my party's ticket that I don't like, my alternative is to just leave that one blank.)

[Freehold DM]

lisamarlene wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I've never set a kitchen on fire.

I've set other rooms on fire while cooking, but never the kitchen itself.

I mean, I had smudged the house with sage while making a big lasagna, so when the sage wand fell down into the candle and lit the wall and foyer carpet on fire, I assumed it was cheese and sauce bubbling over in the oven, so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector and didn't think twice.

Then WW walked out into the hall, looked down the stairwell, and noticed the flames.

I grabbed a shirt off the laundry pile, leapt down the steps, and put it out.

A friend helped WW replace the bit of carpeting and repaint the wall. Our landlord never knew.

Okay, I was ridiculously young at the time.

I haven't burned a sage wand, or made lasagna, in the 20-odd years since.

you are still ridiculously young.

Not according to the checker and bagger at the Trader Joe's on Friday.

grumble grumble grumble

Yep, still not over it.

I guarantee you, the slightest implication that you would offer one of the guys so much as a dry kiss on the cheek you could have had them spock/kirk fighting to the death.

[Drejk]

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

[lisamarlene]

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

[Freehold DM]

lisamarlene wrote:

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

hey I tried to switch the topic to young hot guys fighting to the death over you!

[lisamarlene]

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

hey I tried to switch the topic to young hot guys fighting to the death over you!

Which is patently ridiculous. Just ask NH or Shiro.

Or, better yet, don't, because I sincerely doubt either of them would want to get into that discussion.

But Drejk made me laugh.

[NobodysHome]

lisamarlene wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

hey I tried to switch the topic to young hot guys fighting to the death over you!

Which is patently ridiculous. Just ask NH or Shiro.

Or, better yet, don't, because I sincerely doubt either of them would want to get into that discussion.

But Drejk made me laugh.

Sorry. I'm with Freehold here.

[NobodysHome]

Celestial Healer wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

I'm posting this here because I can't just text it to NH.

The whole ballot proposition system in California is bewildering to me. Do people actually like it?

Oh, SOOOOOOOO political. The Twitter feed LM linked is SO apropos.

So, the lightweight stuff:
(1) We love that anyone, given enough motivation, can put forward a vote to change the Constitution of our state.
(2) We hate that, since Prop 13 came along, corporations and special interests have perverted this process into a neverending array of "WTF?" initiatives that require serious study to figure out.

Two examples:

(1) The California legislature passed an execrable rent control measure for the state that caps rent increases at 5% + inflation per year, but that exempts all buildings built after 1995 and essentially makes it illegal for cities to do anything stricter. So one big fat handout to developers: Long-time owners are forced out of the market because no one will buy their property because they're subject to rent control, so they have to sell out to developers who evict all the tenants, tear down the old property, and build brand-spanking-new rent-control-free properties.
So, the people started a proposition to get rid of that by closing the 1995 loophole. Great!
Except they ALSO added that owners can't increase rent between tenants, so you're back to square 1: Developers are better off tearing down properties every 10-15 years and rebuilding them to set new rent levels than they are actually trying to provide housing

It's the classic stupid. If you vote against it, you're against local rent control and for big development. If you vote for it, you're against long-term ownership and for big development.

Hey, wait...

(2) Another good one is the one that removes cash bail in favor of using each person's personal history and the severity of the crime to determine whether or not they should be released pre-trial...
...except...
nowhere in the analysis nor in the "pro" arguments do they happen to mention that the proposition mandates USING AI SOFTWARE to determine whether or not someone is safe to release. Go ahead and Google "Racist AI" and you should see the problem in a hot second. Let computers determine who is safe to release and who should stay in jail? No thank you!

In short, what started as a magnificent experiment in self-determination has become a quagmire of special-interest groups taking advantage of people's natural friendliness and gullibility to get anything they want on the ballot.

You can't walk down Solano in Springtime without half a dozen attractive, friendly, professional signature-gatherers smiling at you and trying to convince you that if you sign the petition for their particular special-interest proposition, they'll be your BFF. So pretty much anyone with enough money and low enough morals can get anything on the ballot.

It would be nice if it meant that we had an educated, skeptical voting populace. But it would also be nice if I had a unicorn that pooped gold and diamonds grazing in my back yard.

[Drejk]

lisamarlene wrote:

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

I am out of cookies. Cookies and chocolate.

:(

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Drejk wrote:

So today's topics are California voting and Lisa's age?

*backs off slowly from the minefield*

Drejk gets all the cookies.

hey I tried to switch the topic to young hot guys fighting to the death over you!

Which is patently ridiculous. Just ask NH or Shiro.

Or, better yet, don't, because I sincerely doubt either of them would want to get into that discussion.

But Drejk made me laugh.

Sorry. I'm with Freehold here.

Neither NH nor Shiro are exactly young. I can't really say about hotness of either of them, though I am suspect a lot of women (and some men) would find Shiro hot mature man (funnily enough, I have somewhat better grasp of Shiro's general appearance from his public FB photos than NH's from his few shared photos and that one video).