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Woran wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Warning: rather bad language. That said, this is so daggum true about things like PF and SF.
I love how this poster was made by an alien, and drew the wrong amount of nipples on the man.

It’s even better when you realize so does the woman.

EDIT: sigh. Of course. Anyway, I’m clothed, as always when talking on the web. >:|


Orthos wrote:
Woran wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Warning: rather bad language. That said, this is so daggum true about things like PF and SF.
I love how this poster was made by an alien, and drew the wrong amount of nipples on the man.
... I thought they were eyes...

They might be! That’s wonderful!


Limeylongears wrote:

The owl who hunts in the woods at the back of the house is back.

Hoot hoot!

He sounds like a hoot!


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How do cosmic supervoids prove that dark energy exists? | Space is Weird - Boötes Void


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Higher dimensions get really weird... | The Mathematics of What We Can and Cannot Imagine


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How the Universe Works - Secret History of Mercury


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Inside the traumatic life of a Facebook moderator


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Tacticslion wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Woran wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Warning: rather bad language. That said, this is so daggum true about things like PF and SF.
I love how this poster was made by an alien, and drew the wrong amount of nipples on the man.
... I thought they were eyes...
They might be! That’s wonderful!

1"m |n+O !T.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Pokemon reference. nice.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Had a good time at the Formula D game on the huge map. I started in 2nd place, but stalled the engine on the start. Fell back as far as 7th, but managed to make my way back up to 5th at the end. We certainly drew a lot of attention from other customers in the store who wanted to stare and/or take pictures of the game.


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I once had a job interview where they asked me what my greatest weakness is. I said "I'm too honest." They said "I don't think honesty is a weakness." I replied "I don't give a f$~$ what you think."


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My son was crying today because he dropped his breakfast onto his art supplies. He was having an eggs-and-stencil crisis.


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A blonde woman walks past a store window. She sees a sign that says "we do not sell to blondes" in the window, but goes in anyways.

She finds an employee and points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But the employee says "Sorry ma'am, we don't sell to blondes."

She decides to go home and try again the next day. She dyes her hair and puts on different clothes. She walks in, finds an employee, points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But again, the employee says "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't sell to blondes."

The woman is now very angry. She goes home to try a third time. She cuts her hair, dyes it again, puts on makeup and new clothes, and tries again the next day.

She walks in and finds another employee, points at the TV, and says "I want that TV!". But for a third time, the employee says "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we don't sell to blondes."

At this point the woman is furious. She exclaims, "How did you know I was I blonde?"

The employee calmly answers, "Ma'am, that's a microwave."


3 people marked this as a favorite.

My grandfather's last wish was for his remains to be scattered in the sea. But when we went to do it, everyone at the beach started freaking out.

In retrospect, we probably should have cremated him first.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:

My grandfather's last wish was for his remains to be scattered in the sea. But when we went to do it, everyone at the beach started freaking out.

In retrospect, we probably should have cremated him first.

Or rented a boat.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
I once had a job interview where they asked me what my greatest weakness is. I said "I'm too honest." They said "I don't think honesty is a weakness." I replied "I don't give a f+~! what you think."

Oh and also all the cursing. There is a lot of cursing.


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I saw a video of some of Steven Wright's stand-up bits. One of the bits went something along the lines of:
"I want to get arrested and go to trial. Then when I get on the witness stand and they say 'Do you swear the truth and nothing but the truth?', I'll say 'Yes, you're ugly. That woman in the jury? I really wanna sleep with her. Are you going to ask me any questions, or should I just keep going?'"


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:

My grandfather's last wish was for his remains to be scattered in the sea. But when we went to do it, everyone at the beach started freaking out.

In retrospect, we probably should have cremated him first.

Or rented a boat.

Nah. Grandpa got seasick real bad.


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I saw an article that said "Humans eat more bananas than monkeys." I thought "Of course. I ate a banana just the other day, and I can't even remember the last time I ate a monkey."


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I can't imagine they taste very good.


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What do mean? Bananas are great.


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Meh.


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"Let me go grab my wallet and see what the wife says" = "Too expensive I'm going to quickly drive off now."


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Yep. Just about anything other than "Okay, here's my ID and credit card" means "No".


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Morning everyone.


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Mornin'


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Morning? Where?


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Well here it's 3 am so that counts.

Dark Archive

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Morning FaWtLers. Hope everyone is well today and has a good one ahead. :)

Dark Archive

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Morning here on the Emerald Isles, it's 09:53 currently.


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See gran morning in a lot of places.


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Those places aren't real. They're as fake as unicorns, pegasi, and kangaroos.

Scarab Sages

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Limeylongears wrote:

The owl who hunts in the woods at the back of the house is back.

Hoot hoot!

<3

Scarab Sages

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Cover Turtle wrote:

*Sniffles and sheds a tear, due to not being able to marry either Woran or LM*

*…*

*Secretly shoves turtle-adoption forms into both LM and Worans mailboxes*

Sorry Cover Turtle. My house isnt very turtle friendly. Unless you want to get harassed by rats.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Tacticslion wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Woran wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Warning: rather bad language. That said, this is so daggum true about things like PF and SF.
I love how this poster was made by an alien, and drew the wrong amount of nipples on the man.
... I thought they were eyes...
They might be! That’s wonderful!

Haha that makes it just even better!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Those places aren't real. They're as fake as unicorns, pegasi, and kangaroos.

Yeah man I don't believe in all those fake creatures...

also:
You got about tree fiddy?


5 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Those places aren't real. They're as fake as unicorns, pegasi, and kangaroos.

Yeah! Step outside the crushing prison of consensus reality into the quantum godhead of your mind and see THE TRUTH! Nothing is real except what you choose to make real, except Wisconsin, which exists whether you like it or not.


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Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:


So... this is the bad part of living in Albany.

Impus Minor asked for (and received) a lockpick set and instructions for Christmas, and put in enough time that he could first pick a clear lock (leading to the delightful quote, "All those people living in houses with clear locks had better watch out!"), then an opaque one. But I'd guess his total practice time at 20-30 hours; nothing life-altering, just a quick hobby.

On Saturday we went to Rivoli for dinner. While we were out, Impus Minor got home. He never carries a key. He wasn't carrying his lockpick set. So he went to Red-Headed Girl Next Door's, got a pair of bobby pins, and set to work. On both the deadbolt *and* the main lock.

He was there for 45 minutes. During which a woman and her young son walked by and the boy asked, "Mommy, what is that boy doing?"
To which she replied, "I don't know, son. I don't recognize him from this neighborhood."

But she didn't call the cops.

It took him 45 minutes, but Impus Minor picked BOTH our main lock and our deadbolt with a pair of fricking bobby pins. And according to Hi (once a certified locksmith), we'd

You gotta be s~%!ting me.

I don't think I have to tell you how differently that would have gone down in my neighborhood. Or outside of my neighborhood. Or if I tried to do it in Vany's neighborhood. Or Captain Yesterday's neighborhood. Clothed for that last one, as it is probably cooler there

In my neighborhood? I'll just drop this link here and let you draw your own conclusions.


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Freehold would be safe in our neighborhood, people might ask questions, but no one would call the cops on him.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:


So... this is the bad part of living in Albany.

Impus Minor asked for (and received) a lockpick set and instructions for Christmas, and put in enough time that he could first pick a clear lock (leading to the delightful quote, "All those people living in houses with clear locks had better watch out!"), then an opaque one. But I'd guess his total practice time at 20-30 hours; nothing life-altering, just a quick hobby.

On Saturday we went to Rivoli for dinner. While we were out, Impus Minor got home. He never carries a key. He wasn't carrying his lockpick set. So he went to Red-Headed Girl Next Door's, got a pair of bobby pins, and set to work. On both the deadbolt *and* the main lock.

He was there for 45 minutes. During which a woman and her young son walked by and the boy asked, "Mommy, what is that boy doing?"
To which she replied, "I don't know, son. I don't recognize him from this neighborhood."

But she didn't call the cops.

It took him 45 minutes, but Impus Minor picked BOTH our main lock and our deadbolt with a pair of fricking bobby pins. And according to Hi (once a certified locksmith), we'd

You gotta be s~%!ting me.

I don't think I have to tell you how differently that would have gone down in my neighborhood. Or outside of my neighborhood. Or if I tried to do it in Vany's neighborhood. Or Captain Yesterday's neighborhood. Clothed for that last one, as it is probably cooler there

In my neighborhood? I'll just drop this link here and let you draw your own conclusions.

hey, you're only number 5! Things are looking up!


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Yeah; I think it was rather telling that it was just last year when posting here that I came to the realization that on my block we're practically a PBS special; other than Indians, Native Americans, and transgenders I think we've got all races and sexual orientations covered. Add one more block and we even have the requisite guy in a wheelchair. And I hadn't even noticed until someone on FaWtL brought up the makeup in their neighborhood.

Being polite, I haven't asked any of my neighbors about religion.

EDIT: Unfortunately, and bordering on the "political enough to spoiler" front, I think Freehold is correct that if *he* had been picking my lock, the woman would have at least asked him what he was doing, if not called the police on him.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

If Freehold was seen knocking on my door/ringing the doorbell? No issues. Nobody would bother him.

But my neighbor would watch to see what happens if I didn't answer the door.

And if he saw Freehold then try to pick my locks, there would be questions.

But, honestly, not out of racism. He's just a bit off-kilter and happens to like me, so he's protective of my home, particularly if he thinks we're not there.

But I can't speak for anybody else passing by who sees him picking my locks. This metro area has a long history of racism and KKK activity.

EDIT: About my neighbor, seriously, he's caught someone (white) trying my door handles and he scared the guy off. The guy was at my side door, and my neighbor's kitchen window looks directly on that door. My neighbor had his windows open, and then the guy who was trying my door handle hears "I don't think you ought to be doing that," coming from behind him.

My neighbor said "I'm pretty sure he never saw me. He whipped around, looked left and right and just took off."

Shadow Lodge

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Motivational Quantum Limey wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Those places aren't real. They're as fake as unicorns, pegasi, and kangaroos.
Yeah! Step outside the crushing prison of consensus reality into the quantum godhead of your mind and see THE TRUTH! Nothing is real except what you choose to make real, except Wisconsin, which exists whether you like it or not.

Whoa. Like, mind blown, dude.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Pokemon reference. nice.

I'm pretty old school in that regard yeah.

Scarab Sages

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Hat? Check.
Sunscreen? Check.
Tickets? Check.

Rammstein in just a few hours! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The best thing I've done for my nose recovery, shave the mustache portion of my goatee, further cementing my belief that people with mustaches can't be trusted! (Or at least I can't).


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Vanykrye wrote:

If Freehold was seen knocking on my door/ringing the doorbell? No issues. Nobody would bother him.

But my neighbor would watch to see what happens if I didn't answer the door.

And if he saw Freehold then try to pick my locks, there would be questions.

But, honestly, not out of racism. He's just a bit off-kilter and happens to like me, so he's protective of my home, particularly if he thinks we're not there.

But I can't speak for anybody else passing by who sees him picking my locks. This metro area has a long history of racism and KKK activity.

EDIT: About my neighbor, seriously, he's caught someone (white) trying my door handles and he scared the guy off. The guy was at my side door, and my neighbor's kitchen window looks directly on that door. My neighbor had his windows open, and then the guy who was trying my door handle hears "I don't think you ought to be doing that," coming from behind him.

My neighbor said "I'm pretty sure he never saw me. He whipped around, looked left and right and just took off."

that always gets me about you crazy white people. You never lock your doors.

It is NUTS.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

If Freehold was seen knocking on my door/ringing the doorbell? No issues. Nobody would bother him.

But my neighbor would watch to see what happens if I didn't answer the door.

And if he saw Freehold then try to pick my locks, there would be questions.

But, honestly, not out of racism. He's just a bit off-kilter and happens to like me, so he's protective of my home, particularly if he thinks we're not there.

But I can't speak for anybody else passing by who sees him picking my locks. This metro area has a long history of racism and KKK activity.

EDIT: About my neighbor, seriously, he's caught someone (white) trying my door handles and he scared the guy off. The guy was at my side door, and my neighbor's kitchen window looks directly on that door. My neighbor had his windows open, and then the guy who was trying my door handle hears "I don't think you ought to be doing that," coming from behind him.

My neighbor said "I'm pretty sure he never saw me. He whipped around, looked left and right and just took off."

that always gets me about you crazy white people. You never lock your doors.

It is NUTS.

Who said my door wasn't locked? It was very much locked. It slowed him down enough that my neighbor was able to scare him off.


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Woran wrote:

Hat? Check.

Sunscreen? Check.
Tickets? Check.

Rammstein in just a few hours! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR

DU HAAAAAAAAAST


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
The best thing I've done for my nose recovery, shave the mustache portion of my goatee, further cementing my belief that people with mustaches can't be trusted! (Or at least I can't).

When I had nasal surgery to allow me to breathe out of half of my face, they highly suggested I shave off the moustache/goatee to make it easier on myself for recovery.

They weren't wrong.

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