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What Nobodyshome said:

NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

What Freehold heard

"NobodysHome wrote:
I want more World's Greatest Lover mugs and World's Daddest Dad shirts!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I do yard work when naked so if I heard the exact opposite of what was said, it's because the mower was going.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:

What Nobodyshome said:

NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

What Freehold heard

"NobodysHome wrote:
I want more World's Greatest Lover mugs and World's Daddest Dad shirts!

NobodysHome decides that it's finally time to put Freehold out of his misery...

...and yes, "his" is intentionally ambiguous...


11 people marked this as a favorite.

Fawtl, let's all pool together and get Nobody a special "World's Best Dad" trash can.


6 people marked this as a favorite.

About fifteen years ago, we rented the upper floor of a converted Victorian. Our downstairs neighbor was a divorced teamster with a similar attitude toward crap, and four adult children who rarely visited but sent gift baskets full of aftershave, mugs, and random tchotchkes. One weekend, he had a massive yard sale in front of our house, and over a dozen of these baskets were lined up on tables. It happened to be his birthday. Which we didn't know until one of his children pulled up with yet another basket in hand. He took the basket from his daughter, thanked her politely, then set it meaningfully on one of the tables. She drove off. I never saw her come around again.


8 people marked this as a favorite.

I got the alley finished by 1:00. Then I had a shower, made coffee, picked all the burrs out of my flannel shirts from yesterday and today (they get everywhere... I had them in my hair, too), talked to the Ersatz Russian for an hour (there are few people I will tolerate phone conversations with, but he is one of them), and started laundry.

Tomorrow morning, I'm meeting an old college friend for coffee and empanadas at an Argentinian bakery, and then I'm going to go make use of a spa certificate I got for teacher appreciation week.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:
Fawtl, let's all pool together and get Nobody a special "World's Best Dad" trash can.

I love it!


8 people marked this as a favorite.

OK. Impus Major's grasp of flat grading is a little bit alarming:

Impus Major wrote:

I currently have an 87% in Spanish, and the final is worth 20% of my overall grade. So even if I get 100%, I'll only be at 89.6%, so I can't get an 'A'.

On the other hand, I only have to get 37% to keep a B-.
So yeah, I'm not going to be studying tonight.

Boy had BETTER get an A in math!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:
Fawtl, let's all pool together and get Nobody a special "World's Best Dad" trash can.

As James Veitch says..."I'm in."


1 person marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

*grumble-grumble* Why are cost of shipping things to and from USA so high?


NobodysHome wrote:


EDIT: Yeah, with June beg Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me.

Awwww, I currently can have access to mug printing machine (and know how to use, sort of) with some appointment and could make you a custom-made mug...


7 people marked this as a favorite.

Walrus cock dice for saaale!


2 people marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

You sound like the General's dad.

Apparently he likes me the most because I've never gotten him a single thing.

Well, we have a TINY house...

You need to work on your definition of TINY...


5 people marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:

Last year for Father's Day my kids gave me a penny taped to a banana with a paper plate on which was scrawled, "We love you Dab!" in crayon.

I was delighted.

But I did throw out everything except the banana, which I ate.

You threw a penny? Now we know why you are not a real millionaire!


Scintillae wrote:
Fawtl, let's all pool together and get Nobody a special "World's Best Dad" trash can.

Lets name it "Nobodys Presents"


Drejk wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

*grumble-grumble* Why are cost of shipping things to and from USA so high?

Ocean.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:
Walrus cock dice for saaale!

nobodyshome is about to get the greatest father's day present ever.


Limeylongears wrote:
Walrus cock dice for saaale!

Soooo much better than a coffee mug.

Wow.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:
Drejk wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

*grumble-grumble* Why are cost of shipping things to and from USA so high?
Ocean.

now I cant help but view the ocean as a smirking thug who wont let you pass him without a hefty bribe.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Limeylongears wrote:
Walrus cock dice for saaale!

You, sir, are officially in charge of what I get for secret Santa this year.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I suppose it's a good thing I'm regaining feeling in parts of my nose.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

Because she knows me well, Mrs. Sunrise got me a 5-pound bag of gummy bears last weekend. It has fused into a single 5-pound gummy mass.

Frack you, Arizona summer, frack you.


6 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Oh my god, if you don't know how to use self checkout then don't use it.


8 people marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
Oh my god, if you don't know how to use self checkout then don't use it.

Replying just to favorite again. 'Cause now it's a thing.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

So, the down side of my mass household purge:

I just dumped an entire garbage bag of clothing off at the clothing drop-off, and an entire trunkload of books off at the library.

And now I am certain that the kids will swing by the thrift shop on their way home one day and buy back the clothes, then go to the library's book sale and buy back the books...


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
Drejk wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

EDIT: Yeah, with June being Father's Day and my birthday, people cannot resist sending me mugs or T-shirts. In the last 2 weeks I've thrown out over 60(!!) mugs. And they STILL give them to me. this article did a so-so job of it, but really:
- Take me out to dinner or see a movie with me
- Do the chores and don't ask me for anything so I can have some free time
- Pay attention to what I *do* buy and get me a gift card or something

The whole, "We're going to ignore your desperate pleas and keep shipping you crap," has got to stop.

*grumble-grumble* Why are cost of shipping things to and from USA so high?
Ocean.
now I cant help but view the ocean as a smirking thug who wont let you pass him without a hefty bribe.

I think that ocean might be more like a boring, very scrupulous bureaucratic custom officer who insist on going through all the proper procedures taking tons of time, except for a short bouts of anger when he kicks and bashes everyone around, abusing his position of power.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Wow, child labor laws in Wisconsin are something.

Apparently, anyone 11 or older can get a work permit.


captain yesterday wrote:

Wow, child labor laws in Wisconsin are something.

Apparently, anyone 11 or older can get a work permit.

14 in Illinois.

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Mornin' FaWtLites! I hope everyone is well today, and has a good one ahead. :) As a friend of mine in VA says, Happy Friday Eve. :D

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber
captain yesterday wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

You sound like the General's dad.

Apparently he likes me the most because I've never gotten him a single thing.

We're playing a starfinder game this sunday, because all our dads hate fathers day and rather forget the day exists. So we are obliging by not coming over/getting them things.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

My brothers went the other way with it.

I tend to call it a Father's Day cold war between them, but really, they aren't that subtle.


We have 6 fire alarms in the house.

3 of them go off at least once a month, typically in the middle of the night. A fourth goes off on hot days when we open the windows. This means we pretty much have a fire alarm go off in our house every single week.

I understand that false positives are better than false negatives, but considering that fully half of our fire alarms now spend their existences stuffed in drawers to shut them up and avoid false alarms, I think the industry just might have gone overboard in the false positive direction.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

If they only went off while nobody was home. (why have I never made a pun off of your name before?)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
If they only went off while nobody was home. (why have I never made a pun off of your name before?)

Because that's gran's job...


5 people marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
If they only went off while nobody was home. (why have I never made a pun off of your name before?)
Because that's gran's job...

You could borrow your kid's costume and be NobodysGnome.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

I think the only time my dad was happy with his fathers day gift was when I got him a sack of apples.


Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Because she knows me well, Mrs. Sunrise got me a 5-pound bag of gummy bears last weekend. It has fused into a single 5-pound gummy mass.

Frack you, Arizona summer, frack you.

why live in the land of hellish summers when you can live in a place with 4 seasons?

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.

My Dad was always relatively easy to please for Father's Day. Golf balls when I was younger, wine since we've gotten older.

I'm apparently getting my favourite dinner cooked, and a carton of my preferred ice cream, so I'll be pretty pleased with that. :)

Dark Archive

3 people marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Oh my god, if you don't know how to use self checkout then don't use it.

Replying just to favorite again. 'Cause now it's a thing.

I just realised this post got 4 favourites from Capt. Yesterday. That's fairly impressive.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The Adult Kid is coming into town to visit for the first time in a couple years. I think she's getting here on Tuesday.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
If they only went off while nobody was home. (why have I never made a pun off of your name before?)
Because that's gran's job...
You could borrow your kid's costume and be NobodysGnome.

Or wrap yourself in cured pork and become NobodysHam.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
LordSynos wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Oh my god, if you don't know how to use self checkout then don't use it.

Replying just to favorite again. 'Cause now it's a thing.

I just realised this post got 4 favourites from Capt. Yesterday. That's fairly impressive.

It's my new thing I do.


Limeylongears wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
If they only went off while nobody was home. (why have I never made a pun off of your name before?)
Because that's gran's job...
You could borrow your kid's costume and be NobodysGnome.
Or wrap yourself in cured pork and become NobodysHam.

I already have squatter's rights on the attic.


I live in the backyard, so...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Urgh.

Somebody turn down the heat, please.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

It's 62, sunny, with a strong breeze where I am in the country.


I've gotten 15 stitches in my face in the last three years.

I should probably stop.


captain yesterday wrote:
It's 62, sunny, with a strong breeze where I am in the country.

*sends kobolds to steal Cap's weather*


Hello, everyone.

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