*Gets dressed* Wait a minute. Spoilers show up in quotes now?
Only if you manually add them back in.
It will occasionally do it for you.
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So, I've learned a new "generational thing", and in spite of my overly-generous nature, I can't say I approve.
It would seem that the teens and twentysomethings of today assume that, if you offer them something, then you're also offering to pay for said thing.
Evidence the First: After a particularly hilarious round of the JackBox t-shirt game (I forget its official title), one of the kids said, "I am ordering that shirt right now!"
I said, "OK!" and we brought up the ordering site. I put in his order. All the other kids started ordering. By the time we had 8 or 9 shirts in the order, one of the other kids said, "Well, I'd order more, but you're already paying so much I don't want to make you pay more."
"What? What makes you think that *I* am paying for these shirts?"
Cue a quick cancellation of all but 3 shirts (the original guy, Impus Major, and Impus Minor).
So all these kids figured that since I'd brought up the order site at the request of one of them, I'd be paying for all the shirts. It was... surreal.
Evidence the Second: NobodysWife asked a co-worker to lunch. When he said that he was busy, she asked, "Well, since you can't come, would you like me to pick something up for you?"
He looked over the menu, picked something out, and she went off and got it for him.He, of course, never even considered paying her for the lunch.
But he's not as good evidence, as he proved himself a buttweiner right after that. (She "took too long" so after asking her to pick something up for him, he went across the street and got food for himself, so he didn't need the food she picked up.)
But it's an interesting extension of the whole, "Kids aren't growing up until their 30's any more" that I've been reading about. If you're socializing with someone under 25 and you're over 40, it seems like they just assume you're going to pick up the bill.Weirdness.
I always pay for what I consume, only problem is I'm a bit of a greedy guts, so if I did a 6-way split with my colleagues, I probably ate more then my fair share...
And trying to get them to accept anything other then even shares is a problem.
Sometimes when we do family dinners, my Dad just picks up the tab before any of us can do anything.
To circumvent that, when the last dish is served, you need to secretly ask the waitress for the bill and indicate to be given to to you, hold on to it like it's the One Ring until you manage to get it paid.
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And My BFs Dad even paid for my Hokkaido trip and refused to accept any payment from me. I tried to make it up a little by treating them to a crab lunch on the last day, and I foot up the bill for their entire family.
For me I will pay you for whatever expenses you have incurred on my behalf but should you decide not to accept, I'll accept that fact and not get pushy in making you take my payment.
The exception to all the bill paying stuff is when I go out with my BF. Then he pays for it. It's social etiquette here that the guy does the paying.
Grantrd if he's running late and asks me to get something for him, I'll get it and not ask him for payment either.
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Update: The co-worker tracked down NobodysWife at the end of the day and paid her back, so he's exonerated.
Family is 100% different.
Throughout my lifetime, my father insisted on paying for everything for family and friends, stating that "family is more important than money".
Of course, then I learned that my mother was secretly billing us for every little expense, putting the lie to the whole thing, but it was a nice theory, and one I try to put into practice without screwing over my kids...
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Pity I'm busy for the next couple of days running SG tours...I wonder if my master would be interested to see it?
Its good fun if you're a foodie, but he's also trying to pay for everything using credit card and I know those stalls(except for those selling expensive alcohols (like aged shochu and aged sake)) won't accept credit cards.
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This isn't something new. It's a glitch at the edge of etiquette - extending the general rule of "the one inviting others to <thing> should pay for <thing>" beyond its traditional boundaries and into vague territories and beyond. The first case is more blatant overextension of this than the other, as you weren't the one who offered to order it in the first place but reacted to someone else's decision to order.
** spoiler omitted **
indeed.
This is also extremely cultural.
It is best to be a bit wooden/oafish and say "my treat" or "dutch (or your local equivalent)" after making the offer to avoid confusion.
Can't tell you how many times I embarrassed myself growing up coming from a culture that assumes the absolute worst if someone pays for something for you, especially across gender lines.
So I may be stepping all over FaWtL rules here, but it's kind of important, since I chaperone a LOT of kids: Do you think that's a "black culture" thing, a "New York culture" thing, or some combination thereof?
We have a HUGELY diverse school, and I don't want to get myself reported for inappropriate activity for offering to buy someone lunch or something...
(And on a total side note, apparently it's totally OK for Balinese, since I bought a Balinese girl and her friends dinner for doing me a solid, and they were just happy 'bout the whole thing... so data point of 1...)
to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
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What if the white people aren't crazy?to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
that's unpossible.
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Freehold – didn’t realize you have a weird family too. My mom wants me to go home and eat home cooked food(Healthier…blah blah…but I’m all about the taste.). You know that we’ll argue on how brown the pork fat has to be fried before you can fry vegetables…
Down here its quite common to eat out. It takes me 1h 15 min to get from work to home, so if I work late, I am sure as heck eating out, my stomach is not going to be abused.
Freehold – Did your mom ever show teach you how to cook? How does she feel about you cooking for yourself?
My mom knows that some of the things I cook – she won’t care for. I.e Ramen, Spaghetti etc. Too..not Chinese. My cooking is not very traditional Chinese since I feel it takes too much time to do it old skool. There’s usually lots of improvisation along the way, and what I do up doesn’t tend to be overly elaborate.
My parents never cared for me bringing friends to my house – since the first time I brought someone to my house to play monopoly, she was cheating at it. So I don’t do it.
For us – if my BF and I catch a movie on a weekday, we won’t be back home until 9 – 10 pm. Clearly expecting us to go home for dinner is unreasonable. If my mom insisted I’d just flatly tell her I’m not starving for hours. I’m very protective about my stomach. Pfft. Usually if I’m not fed on time, I am a grouch to be around.
Confessions time: My family being rather traditional, do not approve of me meeting people that I talk to online, but I do it anyway, generally without telling them, or telling them part of the story (I’m going out with friends - its still the truth, just part of it). Hi’s case was an exception – since there’s no way I can be out for days without them smelling a fish.
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About meeting people you yak to online:
My personal view is that it’s perfectly fine. I have a friend found her husband via an online dating ap. They’re married and they’ve got a kid now. But the older generation tends to blow it out of proportion because of all those newspaper cases of people who got cheated/something bad happened, etc, and thinks it’s a criminal offence. Which irritates me no end, but…ah what can I do?
Sure, if you meet up with people online, you have to take certain precautions – like make sure your first meeting is somewhere in a public place so there won’t be opportunities for weird stuff to happen. The usual bar things, that you don’t leave your drinks around, or drink from dubious containers, and don’t go out of public view unless you can trust the person in question. But a straight out ban is really…what the hell?
If I had kids I would just tell them to take precautions, then let them do it. I mean everyone should have their personal freedoms on who they’re allowed to talk to and meet up with, right?
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to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
This is fascinating in a completely incomprehensible way to me.
Any restrictions on eating anywhere but home was purely and singularly about financial responsibilities for me growing up, and there was certainly no expectation nor assumption of insult attached to anything whatsoever, other than perhaps flatly refusing to eat someone's cooking to their face.
I'm sure growing up in a tiny town that I could walk on foot from end to end in the space of an hour and a half and the chances were better than 1 in 4 that I'd know every person I saw along the way at least in passing also had something to do with it. The main thing that kept me eating at home more often than not was the aforementioned financial limitations of being a child and a student, and my lack of a large number of friends to actually visit and have meals at their place instead. The small number I did have, though, certainly had no issues with providing food to us when we did visit, nor did my parents when the situation was reversed.
And the expectation/restriction on doing so with people of the opposite gender was all about keeping the kids from getting up to things while unsupervised and not at all about any sort of defiance or challenge toward the parents or household.
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Freehold – didn’t realize you have a weird family too. My mom wants me to go home and eat home cooked food(Healthier…blah blah…but I’m all about the taste.). You know that we’ll argue on how brown the pork fat has to be fried before you can fry vegetables…
Down here its quite common to eat out. It takes me 1h 15 min to get from work to home, so if I work late, I am sure as heck eating out, my stomach is not going to be abused.
Freehold – Did your mom ever show teach you how to cook? How does she feel about you cooking for yourself?
My mom knows that some of the things I cook – she won’t care for. I.e Ramen, Spaghetti etc. Too..not Chinese. My cooking is not very traditional Chinese since I feel it takes too much time to do it old skool. There’s usually lots of improvisation along the way, and what I do up doesn’t tend to be overly elaborate.
My parents never cared for me bringing friends to my house – since the first time I brought someone to my house to play monopoly, she was cheating at it. So I don’t do it.
For us – if my BF and I catch a movie on a weekday, we won’t be back home until 9 – 10 pm. Clearly expecting us to go home for dinner is unreasonable. If my mom insisted I’d just flatly tell her I’m not starving for hours. I’m very protective about my stomach. Pfft. Usually if I’m not fed on time, I am a grouch to be around.
Confessions time: My family being rather traditional, do not approve of me meeting people that I talk to online, but I do it anyway, generally without telling them, or telling them part of the story (I’m going out with friends - its still the truth, just part of it). Hi’s case was an exception – since there’s no way I can be out for days without them smelling a fish.
oh, I cook just fine for myself. Due to work I make a lot of heavy meals, but I specialize in breakfasts, pancakes and sausage and the like. I learned by trial and error, my mom thought it was weirdly cute that I wanted to cook for myself, but in my culture a man who cannot cook his own meals and clean up after himself cannot call himself one. So I have a strong domestic side. I even sew a bit.
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About meeting people you yak to online:
My personal view is that it’s perfectly fine. I have a friend found her husband via an online dating ap. They’re married and they’ve got a kid now. But the older generation tends to blow it out of proportion because of all those newspaper cases of people who got cheated/something bad happened, etc, and thinks it’s a criminal offence. Which irritates me no end, but…ah what can I do?
Sure, if you meet up with people online, you have to take certain precautions – like make sure your first meeting is somewhere in a public place so there won’t be opportunities for weird stuff to happen. The usual bar things, that you don’t leave your drinks around, or drink from dubious containers, and don’t go out of public view unless you can trust the person in question. But a straight out ban is really…what the hell?
If I had kids I would just tell them to take precautions, then let them do it. I mean everyone should have their personal freedoms on who they’re allowed to talk to and meet up with, right?
if not for the internet I would be a kissless virgin living at home with his mother.
that's unpossible.What if the white people aren't crazy?to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
I am totally sane! ~goes back to banging my head against the padded wall in my padded room~ Can someone please remove my straitjacket?
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oh, I cook just fine for myself. Due to work I make a lot of heavy meals, but I specialize in breakfasts, pancakes and sausage and the like. I learned by trial and error, my mom thought it was weirdly cute that I wanted to cook for myself, but in my culture a man who...Freehold – didn’t realize you have a weird family too. My mom wants me to go home and eat home cooked food(Healthier…blah blah…but I’m all about the taste.). You know that we’ll argue on how brown the pork fat has to be fried before you can fry vegetables…
Down here its quite common to eat out. It takes me 1h 15 min to get from work to home, so if I work late, I am sure as heck eating out, my stomach is not going to be abused.
Freehold – Did your mom ever show teach you how to cook? How does she feel about you cooking for yourself?
My mom knows that some of the things I cook – she won’t care for. I.e Ramen, Spaghetti etc. Too..not Chinese. My cooking is not very traditional Chinese since I feel it takes too much time to do it old skool. There’s usually lots of improvisation along the way, and what I do up doesn’t tend to be overly elaborate.
My parents never cared for me bringing friends to my house – since the first time I brought someone to my house to play monopoly, she was cheating at it. So I don’t do it.
For us – if my BF and I catch a movie on a weekday, we won’t be back home until 9 – 10 pm. Clearly expecting us to go home for dinner is unreasonable. If my mom insisted I’d just flatly tell her I’m not starving for hours. I’m very protective about my stomach. Pfft. Usually if I’m not fed on time, I am a grouch to be around.
Confessions time: My family being rather traditional, do not approve of me meeting people that I talk to online, but I do it anyway, generally without telling them, or telling them part of the story (I’m going out with friends - its still the truth, just part of it). Hi’s case was an exception – since there’s no way I can be out for days without them smelling a fish.
Every man ought to know how to sow a bit.
After all, sometimes you gotta patch the jeans yourself, or stitch up your own knife wounds.Of course, the true men also know when to, and when not to use duct tape.
...
The answer is, of course, always use the duck tape.
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What if the white people aren't crazy?that's unpossible.
I think every Floridian is only one bad day away from becoming Florida Man. It ain't (all) our fault, even the damn hurricanes are mutating us with antimatter beams fired right into the ground with gamma ray bursts.
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I am totally sane! ~goes back to banging my head against the padded wall in my padded room~ Can someone please remove my straitjacket?that's unpossible.What if the white people aren't crazy?to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
*tugs shanoth from the wall and sits on him*
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oh, I cook just fine for myself. Due to work I make a lot of heavy meals, but I specialize in breakfasts, pancakes and sausage and the like. I learned by trial and error, my mom thought it was weirdly cute that I wanted to cook for myself, but in my culture a man who...
I can't sew anything but a button, I don't know how to iron my clothes but I can use a washing machine for getting stuff washed.
Even had I been a guy I would have learnt to cook. My stomach is important!
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Learning to cook is always a good idea no matter race gender ethnicity unless you can't actually eat cause your some sort of robot even then it couldn't hurt.
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Actually I may be a snob but I don't consider sausages cooking. How hard is it to reheat a sausage?
These over a grille would take some skill, though.
Most of the sausage I buy is uncooked...
So I guess you have to not burn it?
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Maybe it's a cultural thing but ours is generally cooked. To heat it up, toast it in an oven for 10 min, or drop it into boiling water for 5 min.
Generally the guys here do the BBQ, though the last time I took my turn at it, I realized it was really hot down there!
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What if the white people aren't crazy?to quote Raryn Snowstealer, my favorite dwarven ranger from my favorite author from a campaign setting I despise, I'm not that kind of dwarf.
My family is carribean and is from Panama. Lots of cultural differences between there and here, although I am Brooklyn born and raised. Lots of weird afro carribean latino stuff in my household, I can only speak for me and a few other households. Mom did not approve of me eating out with friends in all but the most unusual(Saturday trip to chinatown bag full of chinese pastries and drinks for 5 dollars WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) or petty(bag of chips) circumstances- it was in many ways saying her food was bad or that I was an adult and didnt need her to cook for me anymore. Buying food for someone else was also saying that you were taking the responsibility of care away from their family, and is incredibly insulting unless you are dating (which could be worse as you are showing the family you are a better provider than they are and are ready to marry in some cases).
Long story short, you are supposed to eat at home, with food prepared by mom. If you are not doing that you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON. And no, hanging out with crazy white people is not a good reason, ESPECIALLY where hormones are involved.
That's crazy idea.
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About meeting people you yak to online:
My personal view is that it’s perfectly fine. I have a friend found her husband via an online dating ap. They’re married and they’ve got a kid now. But the older generation tends to blow it out of proportion because of all those newspaper cases of people who got cheated/something bad happened, etc, and thinks it’s a criminal offence. Which irritates me no end, but…ah what can I do?
Outlive them.
Every man ought to know how to sow a bit.
Thats ok Drejk I don't think it is as important for dragons.
Why? what would they do with it?
Huh you know I'm not sure on that. In the company of dragons has magic scales they can put into their hide that gives them bonuses.
I should think leather working would be more important for dragons.
Several of my HEMA pals do leatherworking, and it's damned hard work, or so I understand. I tried to repair my great-grandad's motorcycle gloves once and got nowhere, but I think that's a job for a pro anyway.
I can't sew, not even a little bit.