Deep 6 FaWtL


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I've been waiting for this moment...
New page!


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NobodysHome wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
I <snip> do <snip> the lion's share

Based on the fact that my laundry isn't done and I desperately need to vacuum under my wife's chair and the green one we store swimming stuff on (where the kids hide to eat), I can assure you this isn't true-

NobodysHome wrote:
of Impus Major's homework
Oh. Nevermind! Carry on!

So... I'd yell at you for not holding up your side of the bargain and doing Impus Major's homework, but apparently flights out of Ocala are over $1000 right now, so I'll give you a pass...

...this time...

Hey, man, I'm doing 100% of the maximum possible work that anyone could even remotely reasonably expect me to do of his homework! I've kept the full word of our agreement on this! You can't honestly say I'm not! ;P


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I'll do his homework, as long as they allow it in the form of a manifesto.

It'll have stickers!


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captain yesterday wrote:

I'll do his homework, as long as they allow it in the form of a manifesto.

It'll have stickers!

Stickers are the glue that keep Hasbro funded.


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I'm pretty sure that's still Magic: The Gathering.


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News and another episode of "things NobodysHome hates":

News:
NobodysWife had elevated liver activity, so they're keeping her for another night to monitor her. At the moment, they're 99.9% sure all is well and it's just her body reacting to the surgery. And both she and I appreciate the "better safe than sorry" approach. Unfortunately, she lost her quiet roommate and now has one of those, "If it's not 80 decibels in the room, it's too quiet" people. If the TV's not blaring, she's talking loudly to the nurses, or interrupting NobodysWife's conversations with her nurses, or just talking loudly to make sure there isn't a moment of silence in the room. NobodysWife has already requested a room change. But yeah, people who cannot for the life of them be quiet drive me nuts.

But that's totally not
Things NobodysHome Hates:
Drivers who don't pull forward. You've seen the letters to Dear Abby or Car Talk or whatnot: "I am a very careful driver, and leave at least n car lengths between me and the car in front of me. And trust me, I've been rear ended 6 times, so that extra space has saved my life more than once!"

Counterpoint: Maybe, just maybe, if you drove like everyone else expected you to, you wouldn't have been rear ended 6 times. I leave 3-6' of space between me and the car in front of me at stop signs and stop lights. And, mysteriously, I have never been rear ended at one.

The reason this comes up is that driving through Berkeley, you hit a lot of left turns at lights. So it's pretty straightforward: You pull forward to just before the middle of the intersection, and you wait, and if the light turns red before you get through then the law is on your side and you may complete your turn. In fact, all the cars in the intersection may complete their turn. In smaller intersections, that's usually 2 cars. Larger intersections fit 3. Then you get the 2-lane roads where you sometimes get 4 cars getting through after the light has turned red, but that's pretty rare.

Then you have Mr. "It's dangerous to be in an intersection if the way isn't clear." He doesn't pull forward. Heck, sometimes he doesn't even cross the crosswalk. So instead of 2-3 cars getting through, he might get through. I've seriously seen these jokers sit through an entire light and not go because they
(a) Didn't pull forward into the intersection at all, and hence
(b) Didn't go through on the red, since if you're not in the intersection, you can't go.

I just get VERY tired of getting stuck places, only to learn that it's because some joker has left 3 car lengths between him and the car in front of him, leading to massive jam-ups behind him.

Grr...

EDIT: And just to be clear, I am NOT talking about "following distance when moving". I keep an almost-exact 2-second following distance, much to my surprise (Shiro's Jeep told me so). I'm talking about how far you are behind the car in front of you when stopped at a stop light or stop sign.


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School's been keeping me busy, and student budget is tight, but I'm doing alright!


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Who wants to open a betting book as to whether or not our landlord/housemate (aka "His Lordship") will actually keep his promise and put the door back on my oven today?

I have now been without a working oven for five and a half weeks. This is really pissing me off because (a) store-bought bread tastes like expensive cardboard and I hate it, and (it's my birthday at the end of the week and I don't want to have to make my birthday cake in the damned toaster oven one layer at a time. (Bakery cakes are a waste of money.)

Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

I hate him so much right now.

Dark Archive

City of Lies

Part I of a two part short story.

Dark Archive

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@lisamarlen can you tell your landlord why you need it specifically fixed this week?

Or ask him to use his oven, that may kickstart the repairs.


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lisamarlene wrote:

Who wants to open a betting book as to whether or not our landlord/housemate (aka "His Lordship") will actually keep his promise and put the door back on my oven today?

I have now been without a working oven for five and a half weeks. This is really pissing me off because (a) store-bought bread tastes like expensive cardboard and I hate it, and (it's my birthday at the end of the week and I don't want to have to make my birthday cake in the damned toaster oven one layer at a time. (Bakery cakes are a waste of money.)

Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

I hate him so much right now.

Er... you KNOW you live only 15 minutes from me and I have a big oven, right?

...wins award for worst come-on line of the year...


Icyshadow wrote:
School's been keeping me busy, and student budget is tight, but I'm doing alright!

Huzzah for doing alright!


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lisamarlene wrote:
store-bought bread tastes like expensive cardboard and I hate it,

But how do you really feel?


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lisamarlene wrote:
Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

Hey, at least it's not Shiro, who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often, then gleefully buys another one to gift his friends so he can watch their disappointment when it breaks!

OK, not fair, but kind of close. When my beloved watch stopped working, he searched Amazon long and hard to find the best-looking, lowest-rated watch he could find. I now own it. It loses 2 minutes an hour, its self-winding mechanism doesn't, and it lasts all of 6 hours when fully wound. When I complained about that, he bought me a plug-in self-winding watch winder for Christmas (it constantly rotates the watches to keep them wound). I re-gifted it back to him. And his kitchen is an amazing assortment of stuff purchased by a man who doesn't cook, but who sees an appliance that does something cool and says, "Oh, I want that!"
He even has one of those professional devices where you seal the food in little heat-proof plastic baggies and cook it in superheated water.

It's a wonderland of "I wonder what".


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Ran into another rattle snake this morning, and it took me a frighteningly long time to spot the bugger after hearing its rattle.

Thank goodness for snake chaps.


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baron arem heshvaun wrote:

@lisamarlen can you tell your landlord why you need it specifically fixed this week?

Or ask him to use his oven, that may kickstart the repairs.

Yes, but:

1. We share the kitchen. He doesn't cook. He eats what I fix, or he gets takeout.
2. He knows my reasons and he keeps laughing about it.
He can be a colossal a&@@+!+.
BUT, our rent for our wing of this amazing house is less than most people pay for a studio around here, and most of the time when I cook, he brings up a bottle of wine from his cellar.

All this because he's lonely, was widowed too young, doesn't have children or grandchildren of his own, and is afraid of being alone.

He's a jerk, but he's a generous jerk. And the kids love him.


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NobodysHome wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

Hey, at least it's not Shiro, who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often, then gleefully buys another one to gift his friends so he can watch their disappointment when it breaks!

OK, not fair, but kind of close. When my beloved watch stopped working, he searched Amazon long and hard to find the best-looking, lowest-rated watch he could find. I now own it. It loses 2 minutes an hour, its self-winding mechanism doesn't, and it lasts all of 6 hours when fully wound. When I complained about that, he bought me a plug-in self-winding watch winder for Christmas (it constantly rotates the watches to keep them wound). I re-gifted it back to him. And his kitchen is an amazing assortment of stuff purchased by a man who doesn't cook, but who sees an appliance that does something cool and says, "Oh, I want that!"
He even has one of those professional devices where you seal the food in little heat-proof plastic baggies and cook it in superheated water.

It's a wonderland of "I wonder what".

Shiro is such a space alien.


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Speaking of a&!#@!%s, I'm working tonight.

The place smells like cleaning chemicals because evidently the floor people have been soaking the floor overnight and napping in the break room. It's so far been three nights so far with another needed for a job that should take two nights (and that's only because we have to store the middle aisle displays on one side of the store).


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Ran into another rattle snake this morning, and it took me a frighteningly long time to spot the bugger after hearing its rattle.

Thank goodness for snake chaps.

Man, your snake story is much cooler than mine.

I just scared a harmless (if long) black racer out of my bushes.

"Hiiiisssssss~!" was pretty startling as it fell. Then hilarious.


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lisamarlene wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

Hey, at least it's not Shiro, who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often, then gleefully buys another one to gift his friends so he can watch their disappointment when it breaks!

OK, not fair, but kind of close. When my beloved watch stopped working, he searched Amazon long and hard to find the best-looking, lowest-rated watch he could find. I now own it. It loses 2 minutes an hour, its self-winding mechanism doesn't, and it lasts all of 6 hours when fully wound. When I complained about that, he bought me a plug-in self-winding watch winder for Christmas (it constantly rotates the watches to keep them wound). I re-gifted it back to him. And his kitchen is an amazing assortment of stuff purchased by a man who doesn't cook, but who sees an appliance that does something cool and says, "Oh, I want that!"
He even has one of those professional devices where you seal the food in little heat-proof plastic baggies and cook it in superheated water.

It's a wonderland of "I wonder what".

Shiro is such a space alien.

So, what does it say about you that you hang out with space aliens, goths, and Santa Claus?

Dark Archive

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lisamarlene wrote:
He's a jerk, but he's a generous jerk. And the kids love him.

Wait, wait.

Is his name Emperor Palpatine? All the cool kids simply love The Emperor.


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New toy.

Poo-Nicorn, looks exactly like it sounds, glittery poop emojis with unicorn horns.

Only ten dollars.


>~<


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In unrelated news: the people 'round here are going into a frenzy!

For two days in a row, the trucks carrying water have sold out within five minutes of arrival, and every gas station in thirty miles (at least) is entirely pumped dry. Also something about there no longer being any canned soup.

Huh. Kind of makes me wish I was more frightened, or something. Also, it's kind of a sucky time for our periodic "restock water bottles, cans of stuff, and gas refill" to come up normally.

Oh well!

And here, I thought out "emergency" plan of "hiding in the bathroom closet" was preparing ahead...


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Captain Yesterday, Brut Squad wrote:

New toy.

Poo-Nicorn, looks exactly like it sounds, glittery poop emojis with unicorn horns.

Only ten dollars.

Some toy designers have far too much time on their hands. And are probably smoking things they shouldn't. Just sayin'.


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We hide in the closet in the kids room when there is tornado warnings.


Sounds about right to me!


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captain yesterday wrote:
We hide in the closet in the kids room when there is tornado warnings.

California's government is so dysfunctional we don't even get earthquake warnings!


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There's a mouse in my storeroom/office. I left the door open, but it just doesn't get the hint. It's running all over, looking for food.


Mice: bad at getting hints!

On an unrelated note, why is it so daggum hard to get a stinkin' picture of a Scar Enforcer?

Like:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imag es&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjIsKio-JHWAhVHbxQKHVLVBgkQ jBwIBA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbrume.newgallo.dnsalias.net%2Fpmwiki%2Fuploads% 2FDownloads%2FPCGen%2520Bundles%2F2004%2Fportraits%2Fcmp%2Fd20_fantasy_v35e %2Fwotc%2Fracdst%2FScar%2520Enforcer%25201.jpg&psig=AFQjCNGcke1mmxDDGPp m-t-RG2dRKAbCiQ&ust=1504834560633965

and

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imag es&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiXnfOq-JHWAhUBOhQKHe3XAqIQ jBwIBA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbrume.newgallo.dnsalias.net%2Fpmwiki%2Fuploads% 2FDownloads%2FPCGen%2520Bundles%2F2004%2Fportraits%2Fcmp%2Fd20_fantasy_v35e %2Fwotc%2Fracdst%2FScar%2520Enforcer%25202.jpg&psig=AFQjCNGcke1mmxDDGPp m-t-RG2dRKAbCiQ&ust=1504834560633965

... are actually pretty solid pictures, on Google image search (especially the second one, if I got my links right - the one with the open jacket).

But nothing happens when I try and make them not the ugly low-rez small pictures - the "view image" option just loads forever until it says,

Quote:

This site can’t be reached

brume.newgallo.dnsalias.net took too long to respond.

Look, can't a guy just want a black-haired half elf beef cake with a small goatee and black armor bad guy picture and get it without fuss?!

Come on, internet, this is what you are supposed to be for...


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Ummm ... I forget what FaWtL stands for.


The Forums Are Way Too Long

:D


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Just tried that myself, with similar results. Let me try something.


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Forget all Whey that Lurks.

Annoyingly cryptic, I agree.


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Sorry, Tac. Tried tracert.exe but no dice.


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captain yesterday wrote:
I'm pretty sure that's still Magic: The Gathering.

That would be the cards that keep Hasbro funded.


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Tarren the Dungeon Master wrote:

Ummm ... I forget what FaWtL stands for.

Foxy, Aggravating Women Talk Lots.


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It worked!

Just like washing the car to get it to rain, I whinged about the landlord online AND HE FIXED MY DAMNED OVEN!

I can BAKE again!

Because, duh, my hips clearly need more carbohydrates.


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the Forums are way too long

I'd forgotten.


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NobodysHome wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:

Who wants to open a betting book as to whether or not our landlord/housemate (aka "His Lordship") will actually keep his promise and put the door back on my oven today?

I have now been without a working oven for five and a half weeks. This is really pissing me off because (a) store-bought bread tastes like expensive cardboard and I hate it, and (it's my birthday at the end of the week and I don't want to have to make my birthday cake in the damned toaster oven one layer at a time. (Bakery cakes are a waste of money.)

Unfortunately, my landlord is the kind of wealthy old person who buys expensive stuff that breaks down too often and then insists on fixing it himself.

I hate him so much right now.

Er... you KNOW you live only 15 minutes from me and I have a big oven, right?

...wins award for worst come-on line of the year...

NobodysHome, you licentious howler! Your wife is under the weather, and lisamarlene is in need! How could you possibly see to the needs of...two...women...at...once?

steps up kidnapping, replacement plans, abandons other plans to streamline this one


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Don't diss baking.

Everyone needs to bake.

It heals the soul.

Also, chocolate.


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lisamarlene wrote:

It worked!

Just like washing the car to get it to rain, I whinged about the landlord online AND HE FIXED MY DAMNED OVEN!

I can BAKE again!

Because, duh, my hips clearly need more carbohydrates.

abandons kidnapping and replacement plans, simply bakes NobodysHome a special cake with a note on it:FOR NOBODYSHOME ONLY, OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT EAT


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lisamarlene wrote:
Tarren the Dungeon Master wrote:

Ummm ... I forget what FaWtL stands for.

Foxy, Aggravating Women Talk Lots.

makes cake a layer cake with extra poison special ingredients


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Chef Yesterday wrote:

Don't diss baking.

Everyone needs to bake.

It heals the soul.

Speaking of which, word has it you're the go-to guy for a killer key lime pie recipe.


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Tarren the Dungeon Master wrote:

the Forums are way too long

I'd forgotten.

Yes, that's it.

Absorbs another cottage.


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Tarren the Dungeon Master wrote:

the Forums are way too long

I'd forgotten.

If you want to experience true insanity, I have the all of the previous FAWTL threads linking on my bio page.


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Hey there, Freehold DM. How are you doing?


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lisamarlene wrote:
Chef Yesterday wrote:

Don't diss baking.

Everyone needs to bake.

It heals the soul.

Speaking of which, word has it you're the go-to guy for a killer key lime pie recipe.

I will find it tomorrow after walking the dogs after taking Tiny T-Rex to school.

Somewhere around 8-10 am pacific time (or 10-12 here as the cow plops).


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Sharoth wrote:
Hey there, Freehold DM. How are you doing?

I'm okay. Waiting for an email from a certain Dragon.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
Hey there, Freehold DM. How are you doing?
I'm okay. Waiting for an email from a certain Dragon.

Been rather busy, but I haven't forgotten. Right now it is at the lower end of the must get done ASAP list, but it is on there.

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