Deep 6 FaWtL


Off-Topic Discussions

163,801 to 163,850 of 240,332 << first < prev | 3272 | 3273 | 3274 | 3275 | 3276 | 3277 | 3278 | 3279 | 3280 | 3281 | 3282 | next > last >>

5 people marked this as a favorite.

According to Google, the number one sign of alcoholism is drinking alone. I think the number one sign of alcoholism is Googling "what is the number one sign of alcoholism".

Edit: Apparently you can Google while nekkid.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Some people see lovers' names carved into a tree and think it's romantic. I see it and think "How many people bring knives on a date?"

Which is somewhat ironic since I've carried a pocketknife on every date I've ever had.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Wife: "Why are you late?"
Husband: "There was a man outside looking for a $100 bill he dropped."
Wife: "Oh, and you helped him find it?"
Husband: "No. I was standing on it and had to wait for him to give up looking."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Repeat.
Repeat who?
Okay. Who who who who who who who...


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Three guys are stranded on a deserted island, when a native appears. He says "I'm going to kill you all and make a boat out of your skin so I can sail away. But I will grant you each a last request." The first man asks for the native to kill him with a painless poison. The native gives the man some berries, which gently and painlessly kill the man. The second man asks for the native to behead him in his sleep. The native agrees, so the man lies down, falls asleep, and the native quickly beheads him. The third man asks for a fork. The native is confused, but hands the man a fork. The man takes the fork and starts stabbing himself all over shouting "I hope you sink, you bastard!"


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Some people see lovers' names carved into a tree and think it's romantic. I see it and think "How many people bring knives on a date?"

Which is somewhat ironic since I've carried a pocketknife on every date I've ever had.

Reminds me of Honolulu airport security.

Y'know the whole, "No more than 3 ounces of liquid in your carry-on bag" rule? Well, we got through security with nary a glitch, and then Impus Minor saw a water bottle refilling station and pulled out his 2/3-full 1-liter bottle of water. 2/3 of a liter is a teensy bit more than 3 ounces. Maybe the metric fooled them?

Then we landed and I couldn't find my car keys, so I went through my camera case, and found... my pocket knife!

So yeah, excessive fluids, small knives... it was as if the security people at the Honolulu airport could actually recognize what was a threat and what wasn't, without being arbitrarily tied to strange rules created in a reactionary manner to unrealistic situations or something...


4 people marked this as a favorite.

Teacher: "Maria, please go to the map and point to America."
Maria: "Here it is."
Teacher: "Very good, Maria. Now Johnny, who found America?"
Johnny: "Maria did. Weren't you paying attention?"


3 people marked this as a favorite.

A man walks into a bar and sees a tiny piano being played by a man who's only a foot tall. He asks the bartender "Where did you find a foot-tall piano player?" The bartender says "Oh, I have a genie in the back who grants wishes. You can give it a try if you'd like." So the man goes in the back room and tells the genie "I want a million bucks!" The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly a million ducks appear and start following the man around. The man fights his way through the flock, and goes back to the bartender. He complains "What a stupid genie! I asked for a million bucks, and he gave me a million ducks!" The bartender nods and says "Yeah. Do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"


2 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Little Johnny was traveling up north to visit a friend during the winter. His friend's mother saw Johnny shivering, so she said "Come over here and put your hands between my thighs to warm them up." Johnny walked over to her and said "You know, my ears are really cold too."

I knew there was a reason I liked that boy.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Teacher: "Maria, please go to the map and point to America."

Maria: "Here it is."
Teacher: "Very good, Maria. Now Johnny, who found America?"
Johnny: "Maria did. Weren't you paying attention?"

I think the johnny ones are my favorite.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Teacher: "Johnny, do you now how to count to ten?"
Johnny: "Sure! In fact, my dad taught me how to count even higher than 10."
Teacher: "Good! So what comes after 4?"
Johnny: "5."
Teacher: "Right. What comes after 7?"
Johnny: "8."
Teacher: "Excellent. What comes after 10?"
Johnny: "Jack."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

My uncle is a flasher, and was thinking about retiring. But he decided to stick it out for one more year.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It's after midnight in Florida.
Happy Birthday, Tac!


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Teacher: "What do you think George Washington would be doing if he were alive today?"
Johnny: "Probably screaming 'Let me out of this coffin!!'."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A bingo parlor.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Want to ride a bike?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

No offense intended in any previous posts.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. It's still on the list, just really low.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

A young man goes up to his grandma and says "Hey grandma, have you seen my pills? They're labelled LSD." His grandma says "Forget the damn pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?"


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Happy birthday, Tacticslion! :)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Happy birthday to the lion... soon
mbinu simba you will be king.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Whenever a character in a movie goes underwater, I like to hold my breath to see how realistic the scene is. I almost died during Finding Nemo.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I don't mind that my friend keeps bragging about the size of his penis, I just wish he wouldn't rub it in my face.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I don't mind that my friend keeps bragging about the size of his penis, I just wish he wouldn't rub it in my face.

We need Disclaimer here STAT.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Happy birthday, TL, I wish you to have a great day and to find a lot of things that you really want to fave.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I don't mind that my friend keeps bragging about the size of his penis, I just wish he wouldn't rub it in my face.
We need Disclaimer here STAT.

Nah, everything looks good to me.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kileanna wrote:
Happy birthday, TL, I wish you to have a great day and to find a lot of things that you really want to fave.

Yes we wish you very many things to favorite. (I think its like his favorite thing to do huhuhuhuhu...)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hey, Kileanna. What's up?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

They find a decrepit boat in a game:

"Great, now all you have to do is make it powerful enough to swim up the side of a rock, and we're set."


1 person marked this as a favorite.
John Napier 698 wrote:
Hey, Kileanna. What's up?

I am. I am up after a good night of sleep and with the batteries fully charged!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kileanna wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
Hey, Kileanna. What's up?
I am. I am up after a good night of sleep and with the batteries fully charged!

Ha Theory confirmed. I knew you were an android!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

She isn't. She bleeds like any other flesh being.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Having a little trouble getting to sleep at 3:00 AM. I suppose I should try.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
John Napier 698 wrote:
Having a little trouble getting to sleep at 3:00 AM. I suppose I should try.

Try meditating laying down that should put you to sleep.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Spent hours generating enemies for my first attempt at running a Homebrew PbP. It's something I've been working on for years.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
Having a little trouble getting to sleep at 3:00 AM. I suppose I should try.
Try meditating laying down that should put you to sleep.

Feeling tired now. I'll give it a shot.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Artephius the Alchemical Golem wrote:
She isn't. She bleeds like any other flesh being.

I haz doubts.

also android might be able to bleed. >.> *researches*


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I can do some field research, my Master of the Vid.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Harpy Bath Day, TL! :)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Artephius the Alchemical Golem wrote:
I can do some field research, my Master of the Vid.

Field research on if androids can bleed... somehow this feels like a trap.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Artephius the Alchemical Golem wrote:
She isn't. She bleeds like any other flesh being.

Hi there! Care to worship me as your god? I've got a great outfit for you to wear.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Or here's a work in progress.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

This one is also quite nice.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yes, I am determined to try and recruit all of Kileanna's aliases. Is that so wrong?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Punniculus wrote:
Yes, I am determined to try and recruit all of Kileanna's aliases. Is that so wrong?

That's what I was posting! You are a God-tier ninja!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Punniculus wrote:
Artephius the Alchemical Golem wrote:
She isn't. She bleeds like any other flesh being.
Hi there! Care to worship me as your god? I've got a great outfit for you to wear.

How she ended up with chakotay I'll never know.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

You can take Artephius if you want. He is mindless. But you'd have to compensate me for it. Good mindless servitude is hard to find.

I am not willing to serve you but you might serve me if you want.

I can find you a good outfit if you want.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Psst...Hey Vidmaster7. You wanna sign up? I got this for you to wear.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Punniculus wrote:
Yes, I am determined to try and recruit all of Kileanna's aliases. Is that so wrong?

Is it?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Elise Frostmourne wrote:

You can take Artephius if you want. He is mindless. But you'd have to compensate me for it. Good mindless servitude is hard to find.

I am not willing to serve you but you might serve me if you want.

I can find you a good outfit if you want.

You sure you don't want to serve me? I had this made just for you.

163,801 to 163,850 of 240,332 << first < prev | 3272 | 3273 | 3274 | 3275 | 3276 | 3277 | 3278 | 3279 | 3280 | 3281 | 3282 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / Off-Topic Discussions / Deep 6 FaWtL All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.