Deep 6 FaWtL

[NobodysHome]

Zip lining was amazingly fun. But again, it was maybe one of those "California" things. The voucher listed things to bring, including "cash to tip your instructors". A big sign at the sign-up desk said, "If you enjoyed your time here, be sure to tip your instructor."

I am very much with "Adam Ruins Everything" here: Tipping is a barbaric practice that should have been abolished long ago. However, since it exists, and since the law allows employers to grossly underpay employees who receive tips, then if the employee you're working with is "tippable", you should tip.

And yeah, I was the only one who tipped our instructors. On the bright side, I was the only one who got to take a bunch of pictures with them after the run...

EDIT: And who DOESN'T want to Zipline naked in Hawaii?

[captain yesterday]

I averaged twenty five bucks an hour in tips as "Banquet Liaison" of a hotel downtown just from tips.

Basically if any rock stars needed a bathtub filled with beer and ice, a politician needed an elevator held, a wedding needs a coat check guy who can also fetch kegs, or just the religious conference needs a table in the lobby, I was the guy they called to do it. I worked crazy hours though, like thirty hours on Saturday and Sunday.

It was a lot of fun!

[lisamarlene]

NobodysHome wrote:

John Napier 698 wrote:

I had to learn the basics of German when I was posted there in 1988.

That surprises me only because when I went in 1987, none of the Germans could figure out my accent. When I told them I was American, they were delighted by the strange American who had bothered to learn German, so I got free beer, free food, and even an upgraded room at a hostel.. All for speaking German with an American accent.

This does not happen in Switzerland.

In Switzerland, if you speak German with an American accent, the Swiss talk down to you on careful, condescending English.

[NobodysHome]

captain yesterday wrote:

I averaged twenty five bucks an hour in tips as "Banquet Liaison" of a hotel downtown just from tips.

Basically if any rock stars needed a bathtub filled with beer and ice, a politician needed an elevator held, a wedding needs a coat check guy who can also fetch kegs, or just the religious conference needs a table in the lobby, I was the guy they called to do it. I worked crazy hours though, like thirty hours on Saturday and Sunday.

It was a lot of fun!

See, for me, that's a totally reasonable pay rate for 15-hour days, dealing with "customers", and acting happy to see each and every one of them. Having to deal cheerfully with the general public deserves a high pay rate; it is "hazard pay", after all. Only pre-school teachers have to deal with worse, and, having worked retail, I think even that is questionable. Except pre-school parents trump all in terms of general a$$hattery. Or maybe admins...

EDIT: Hyperbole aside, I was always appalled when my college students demonstrated worse hygeine than the 6-year-olds I knew...

[John Napier 698]

Just got back from the garage. The tea was gone, but they left the electronics. *shrug* Go figure.

[John Napier 698]

Star Wars Humor. Especially around 6:50.

[lisamarlene]

You know the only days I am guaranteed to get someone else's vomit or bowel movement on my clothing?
The days I have to dress up to give an admissions tour.

They really do not pay me enough.

[Captain ?]

Does your school sublet to a nursing home for the summer.

[lynora]

I seem to have acquired a summer cold. Blergh.

And my husband is on a self improvement kick. Which is great. If he can just remember that the rest of us didn't sign up for it...Yes, dear, it's great that you woke up at six to exercise and have been working ever since. No, that doesn't mean that I have to become a morning person workaholic and neither does the kidlet.....*rolls eyes*

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I averaged twenty five bucks an hour in tips as "Banquet Liaison" of a hotel downtown just from tips.

Basically if any rock stars needed a bathtub filled with beer and ice, a politician needed an elevator held, a wedding needs a coat check guy who can also fetch kegs, or just the religious conference needs a table in the lobby, I was the guy they called to do it. I worked crazy hours though, like thirty hours on Saturday and Sunday.

It was a lot of fun!

See, for me, that's a totally reasonable pay rate for 15-hour days, dealing with "customers", and acting happy to see each and every one of them. Having to deal cheerfully with the general public deserves a high pay rate; it is "hazard pay", after all. Only pre-school teachers have to deal with worse, and, having worked retail, I think even that is questionable. Except pre-school parents trump all in terms of general a$$hattery. Or maybe admins...

EDIT: Hyperbole aside, I was always appalled when my college students demonstrated worse hygeine than the 6-year-olds I knew...

The pre-schoolers at least can behave at times...

[Drejk]

Back from first Pathfinder session in a year...

And technically, my first Pathfinder session as a player instead of GM.

[Freehold DM]

lisamarlene wrote:

You know the only days I am guaranteed to get someone else's vomit or bowel movement on my clothing?

The days I have to dress up to give an admissions tour.

They really do not pay me enough.

Damn. I'm sorry.

[Drejk]

One of the friend's friends whom I met for the first time:

Are you posting on Paizo messageboards as "Drejk"? I learned from your old posts there!

[John Napier 698]

See, you're famous.

[Trinam]

Yeah, it happens when you spread knowledge far enough. Always feels weird, too.

[TOZ]

Or if you become infamous.

[gran rey de los mono]

Pro tip: Next time you let a nasty, stinky fart rip in public, shout "Turbo Power!" and walk away.

[gran rey de los mono]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. Since then, everything else has been made in China.

[gran rey de los mono]

Dad: "Say 'Daddy'."
Baby: "Mommy."
Dad: "No, say 'Daddy'."
Baby: "Mommy."
Dad: "F$@$ you, say 'Daddy'!"
Baby: "F!#* you. Mommy!"
Mom: "I'm home!"
Baby: "F~@% you!"
Mom: "Who taught you that!"
Baby: "Daddy!"
Dad: "Son of a b*~#$."

[gran rey de los mono]

Two men go to a prostitute. The first one takes his turn, comes out of the room, and says "You know, she's alright but, my wife's better." The second man takes his turn. He comes out of the room and says "You're right, your wife is better."

[gran rey de los mono]

Do frogs wear open-toad sandals?

[gran rey de los mono]

A boss goes to his secretary and says "I want to have sex with you, but I'll be quick. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor, you'll bend over to pick it up, and by the time you've got it all, I'll be done." The secretary calls her boyfriend to ask what she should do. The boyfriend says "Tell him you'll do it for $2,000, then immediately pick up the money really fast so he won't have time to undress." She tells her boss she'll do it for $2,000, and he agrees. 30 minutes later, her boyfriend calls and asks "So, how'd it go?" She replied "The bastard paid me in coins. I'm still picking them up and he's still f+*%ing me!"

[gran rey de los mono]

A couple rush to the hospital because the wife is in labor. The doctor says they have a new machine that splits the pain between the mother and the father. They agree to use it, so the doctors hook it up, and set it to give the father 20% of the pain. The wife says "I do feel better," and the husband says "I don't really feel anything. Turn it up higher." So they set it to 50%, and still the husband feels nothing, while the wife feels much better. The husband says "This is easy, go ahead and turn it up to 100%," so they do. Still, he feels nothing and the wife now feels no pain. The baby is delivered, and the couple are sent home. When they get home, they are surprised to see their postman passed out on the porch. They bring him inside, revive him, and ask what happened. He says "I don't know. I was doing my rounds like always, and suddenly I started feeling more and more pain, until eventually I passed out."

[gran rey de los mono]

Helen Keller walks into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.

[gran rey de los mono]

A man goes to his doctor complaining of migraines. The doctor says "I have trouble with those as well. Here's what I do. Whenever I feel one coming on, I give my wife oral sex. When she orgasms, she tightens her legs around my head and it stops the pain. You should try it." Two weeks later, the man comes back and says "I took your advice, and it really works. Also, you have a lovely home."

[gran rey de los mono]

A taxi passenger reaches forward and taps the driver on the shoulder to ask a question. The driver screams in terror, and almost crashes the car. The passenger apologizes, saying "I didn't realize a little tap would scare you that much." The driver says "It's ok. It's just that today is my first day as a cab driver. I've spent the last 10 years driving a hearse."

[gran rey de los mono]

Johnny: "Will I get in trouble for something I didn't do?"
Teacher: "No, of course not."
Johnny: "Good. I didn't do me homework."

[gran rey de los mono]

Step 1: Name your iPhone "The Titanic."
Step 2: Plug it into your computer.
Step 3: When iTunes says "The Titanic is syncing" press cancel.
Step 4: Feel like a hero.

[gran rey de los mono]

I got tasered at the airport today. Apparently the TSA doesn't like it if you greet your friend by shouting "Hi, Jack!"

[captain yesterday]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I got tasered at the airport today. Apparently the TSA doesn't like it if you greet your friend by shouting "Hi, Jack!"

Next time, yell it louder, wave something over your head, and shout so everyone can hear you "i've got a bomb IPhone!".

I don't see any way that could go wrong.

[captain yesterday]

Musical interlude - Beavers.

[Kileanna]

captain yesterday wrote:

Musical interlude - Beavers.

*Is relieved to see it doesn't have anything to do with Justin Beavers*

[Tequila Sunrise]

It's Friday, and time for another one of TS' "Is there a word for this?" topic! And I don't think TVtropes will help with this one.

So in many games, there are these oddball rules that aren't intuitively related to any other rule. In chess each piece has a rule for how it moves, and each turn you can move one piece according to its rule. Except that under certain circumstances, you can move your king and a rook at the same time and in a way that would break their normal movement rules.

In many card games, there are rules for collecting various cards into sets in order to collect points. With the proviso being that each player must achieve an initial threshold of required sets before he or she can begin collecting points.

In Monopoly, you roll the dice to determine how many spaces you move, you do your wheeling and dealing, and then you pass the turn. Except if you roll doubles, then you go again.

In Magic, it used to be that if you ended up with more mana than you could use, that mana 'burned' you for a loss of life.

So my question is: What would you call this class of oddball non-intuitive rules? It is of vital importance that this question be answered. ;)

[Vidmaster7]

256 posts.

[gran rey de los mono]

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

It's Friday, and time for another one of TS' "Is there a word for this?" topic! And I don't think TVtropes will help with this one.

So in many games, there are these oddball rules that aren't intuitively related to any other rule. In chess each piece has a rule for how it moves, and each turn you can move one piece according to its rule. Except that under certain circumstances, you can move your king and a rook at the same time and in a way that would break their normal movement rules.

In many card games, there are rules for collecting various cards into sets in order to collect points. With the proviso being that each player must achieve an initial threshold of required sets before he or she can begin collecting points.

In Monopoly, you roll the dice to determine how many spaces you move, you do your wheeling and dealing, and then you pass the turn. Except if you roll doubles, then you go again.

In Magic, it used to be that if you ended up with more mana than you could use, that mana 'burned' you for a loss of life.

So my question is: What would you call this class of oddball non-intuitive rules? It is of vital importance that this question be answered. ;)

First word that comes to mind is "exceptions", but I suspect that isn't what you're looking for. Or maybe "special cases"?

[gran rey de los mono]

Possibly "herp de derps"?

[gran rey de los mono]

Or "dancing cucumber".

[gran rey de los mono]

Maybe even "queso".

[Mrgh.]

Mrgh.

[gran rey de los mono]

Three elderly men are on a walk. The first says "Windy, isn't it?" The second says "No, it's Thursday." The third says "Yeah, I could go for a beer."

[gran rey de los mono]

In a tiny village lived an old maid. Despite her age, she was still a virgin, and proud of it. As her last days were approaching, she told the undertake that she wanted the following inscription on her headstone: "Born a virgin, Lived a virgin, Died a virgin". Shortly afterwards she died, and the undertaker told his men to carve her desired inscription. But, they were too lazy to carve all that, so they instead wrote "Returned Unopened".

[gran rey de los mono]

What do you call a doll on fire? A Barbie-Q.

[gran rey de los mono]

Three old timers in the retirement home are complaining about getting old. The first one says "I wake up at 7am, and spend 30 minutes trying to pee." The second one says "Well, I wake up at 7:30am and spend an hour trying to poop." The third says "I pee at 7am every morning, and poop at 7:30." The others say "What are you complaining about?" He says "I don't wake up until 8am."

[NobodysHome]

So yeah, final day in Hawaii and the inevitable happened. Impus Major forgot to sunscreen his legs. While surfing. In Hawaii.

It will be an... interesting... plane ride home for him tomorrow. On the bright side, he has learned an important life lesson about sunscreen.

[gran rey de los mono]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

[gran rey de los mono]

Fun fact: If you cut off all your body hair and laid it end to end, you'd be a f~#@ing weirdo.

[gran rey de los mono]

NobodysHome wrote:

So yeah, final day in Hawaii and the inevitable happened. Impus Major forgot to sunscreen his legs. While surfing. In Hawaii.

It will be an... interesting... plane ride home for him tomorrow. On the bright side, he has learned an important life lesson about sunscreen.

Hope you get him some aloe. And hand it to him with a smug grin.

[NobodysHome]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

So yeah, final day in Hawaii and the inevitable happened. Impus Major forgot to sunscreen his legs. While surfing. In Hawaii.

It will be an... interesting... plane ride home for him tomorrow. On the bright side, he has learned an important life lesson about sunscreen.

Hope you get him some aloe. And hand it to him with a smug grin.

A big jar of Solarcain with aloe. Better than what I had to endure in the 70s, but I'm not THAT much of a jerk... "Here's some generic Jergens. If it was good enough for me in '79, it's good enough for you now!"

[gran rey de los mono]

Los frijoles están causando mis gatos gran angustia.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Los frijoles están causando mis gatos gran angustia.

Wait your cats name is bean and its causing you great distress?