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My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do. Apparently "Your daughter" was the wrong answer.

Edit: I wasn't nekkid when he asked me the question, but I was for the answer.


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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do. Apparently "Your daughter" was the wrong answer.

You must be one tough Son of a gun seeing as your still alive.


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My girlfriend and I had such great sex last night that when we finished even the neighbors had a cigarette.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do. Apparently "Your daughter" was the wrong answer.
You must be one tough Son of a gun seeing as your still alive.

Bwahaha.


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Two years ago I married an innocent young virgin. If that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Two years ago I married an innocent young virgin. If that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.

Ok now we are getting conflicting reports.


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Sex without love is a meaningless experience. But, as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good.


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I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging that snooze button in the morning.


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Hey baby, was your ass forged by Sauron, because it is precious.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Hey baby, was your ass forged by Sauron, because it is precious.

That right there explains the snooze button one.


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I'm so old I can remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.


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There are two rules for success. First, don't tell all you know.


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They say money talks, but all mine ever says is "Goodbye".


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Two years ago I married an innocent young virgin. If that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.
Ok now we are getting conflicting reports.

Just pretend I'm the news and go with it.


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Hedgehogs
Are
Placing
Pilchards'
Yashmaks

Between
Ira's
Rosy
T*tties
How
Damned
Aggravating!
Yoghurt

Never
Helps.

Here,
A
Polite
Penguin
Yodels.

Adorable
Nine
Nippled
Insurance
Vendors
Ecstatically
Romp,
Seeking
Eddie's
Ragged
Y-Fronts, and

Tickling
Leopards


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Anyone else notice the drastic increase in starfinder Threads? The hype is real.


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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TACTICSLION


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Freehold DM wrote:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TACTICSLION

Oh that is what that long post by limey is saying!

Ditto.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Happy Anniversary Lion :3


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lisamarlene wrote:

...which is why my knee-jerk response is to ignore the loot lists and say, "Yeah, no, I'm good here."

Except for then I worry that the GM will think I don't give a crap and am ungrateful, so then I try to look over the list and pick something at random.

Incidentally, I started teaching my children the "Litany Against Whinge" yesterday:
I must not whinge; whinge is the mind-killer.
Whinge is the little-sulk that brings total isolation.

Nah; I learned long ago that as a GM I shouldn't be invested in loot distribution at all; in that way lies madness.

It's more that fighters are more equipment-dependent than most other classes in the game, and if you look at the 2 fighters they got almost nothing in that distribution. (I think Arkwhal got a 1000-gp item.)

But watching Shiro's player and whingy wizard go at it yet again about what's "fair"? Not looking forward to it...

(For those who haven't had the "pleasure", Shiro's player will suggest 3-4 different "fair" ways of splitting loot, much like there are many "fair" ways to hold an election. He'll get whingy wizard to agree that one is "fairest". Then he'll take great delight in explaining to whingy wizard just how skewed his loot grabbing has been under the system that whingy wizard just chose. It's designed to cause stress and conflict, and Shiro's player delights in it, so I just step back and try to stay out of the repercussions.)

EDIT: But yeah, I have to admit, even *I* was a bit shocked at the wizard's, "I take the +1 icy burst light mace! I take the +3 glamered chainmail! Now, are the negatives worth the positives?"
There wasn't even a, "Who might be better suited to these?", just, "I take them first, then see whether it's worth using them, and then and only then offer them up to anyone else."
The problem is, everyone at the table was tired, so he got away with it, and only the next day when we were discussing the game did the magnitude of the hoarding come to light and the other players start seething...


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Anyone else notice the drastic increase in starfinder Threads? The hype is real.

Star What now?


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Happy Birthday, Nobody!


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
You know you're getting old when you walk past a cemetery and the grave diggers attack you with their shovels, shouting "Zombie!! ZOmbie!!!!"

A drunk guy walks through the graveyard at night and sees a gravedigger digging a grave. Being drunk, he gets an idea that he will scare the gravedigger and starts shambling toward him and moan. The gravedigger does keeps digging without reaction. The drunk guy moans louder and starts repeating "brains... brains... brains..." but the gravedigger still ignores him completely.

The drunk guy gets bored and decides to walk away. Just as he is crossing the graveyard gates, he is smacked in the back of his head with a shovel! When he starts regaining consciousness he becomes aware that gravedigger is dragging him back to the graveyard while saying: "How many times I need to repeat the rules to all of you? You can shamble around, you can moan, but you are not allowed to leave the graveyard!"


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Two years ago I married an innocent young virgin. If that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.
Ok now we are getting conflicting reports.
Just pretend I'm the news and go with it.

I see no contradiction... One was about girlfriend and the other one was about marriage...


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I may have the only two kids on the planet that look forward to going to the dentist.

They might be aliens.


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Happy birthday NH!

Happy anniversary TL!


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captain yesterday wrote:

I may have the only two kids on the planet that look forward to going to the dentist.

They might be aliens.

Nah, they just probably have healthy teeth.


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NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT: But yeah, I have to admit, even *I* was a bit shocked at the wizard's, "I take the +1 icy burst light mace! I take the +3 glamered chainmail! Now, are the negatives worth the positives?"

There wasn't even a, "Who might be better suited to these?", just, "I take them first, then see whether it's worth using them, and then and only then offer them up to anyone else."
The problem is, everyone at the table was tired, so he got away with it, and only the next day when we were discussing the game did the magnitude of the hoarding come to light...

Whingy Wizard is a child, clearly.

...Right?


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

They're just incredibly positive and delightful people to be around. :-)

Both my kids and the people at the dentist. :-)


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captain yesterday wrote:

I may have the only two kids on the planet that look forward to going to the dentist.

They might be aliens.

I have made an appointment for... Oh, it will 4th of July.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Dentist appointment was a great success!

And it turns out a Children's dentist office is a great place to network with construction companies, I think I lined up some future work. :-)


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Lady dental assistant: How are you doing Tiny T-Rex?

Tiny T-Rex: I'm doing great, I brought my distractions shows off his bright blue monkey and crocodile with realistic teeth. but now you're here. big smile.


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So far I've spent most of today sleeping off yesterday's migraine from hell. I'd still be in bed, but I had to get up to take the kidlet to jujitsu. I was going to take him shopping this morning because he needs new shorts. Most of his are too small. But alas, I shall have to wait another day before inflicting clothes shopping upon the kidlet. :P


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captain yesterday wrote:

Lady dental assistant: How are you doing Tiny T-Rex?

Tiny T-Rex: I'm doing great, I brought my distractions shows off his bright blue monkey and crocodile with realistic teeth. but now you're here. big smile.

that is one smooth talker.


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Thank you, all!

Feel better, lynora!


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lynora wrote:
So far I've spent most of today sleeping off yesterday's migraine from hell. I'd still be in bed, but I had to get up to take the kidlet to jujitsu. I was going to take him shopping this morning because he needs new shorts. Most of his are too small. But alas, I shall have to wait another day before inflicting clothes shopping upon the kidlet. :P

feel better, you.

This gallon of olive oil isn't going to use itself, you know.

Silver Crusade

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lynora wrote:
So far I've spent most of today sleeping off yesterday's migraine from hell. I'd still be in bed, but I had to get up to take the kidlet to jujitsu. I was going to take him shopping this morning because he needs new shorts. Most of his are too small. But alas, I shall have to wait another day before inflicting clothes shopping upon the kidlet. :P

*hugs*


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Toothache intensifying... :/


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Rysky wrote:
lynora wrote:
So far I've spent most of today sleeping off yesterday's migraine from hell. I'd still be in bed, but I had to get up to take the kidlet to jujitsu. I was going to take him shopping this morning because he needs new shorts. Most of his are too small. But alas, I shall have to wait another day before inflicting clothes shopping upon the kidlet. :P
*hugs*

....

unscrews lid to olive oil container


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Hi, everyone. Sorry I couldn't post on Monday, but my hotspot ran out of time, and I couldn't buy more until today. Monday night, I was released from the Hospital. All in all, it was a pleasant experience, save for one incident. Some blood work needed done, and the nurses assigned to get them couldn't find the proper vein. So, they went digging for it.

The pain was excruciating. I was nearly in tears. It was the closest thing to actual torture that I ever experienced. But, I'm home now. The head Neurosurgeon has decided that I'm not currently fit to resume my duties. Having a Security Guard with near-constant double-vision is an OSHA incident waiting to happen.

Happy Birthday, NH. :)

Happy Anniversary, TL. :)


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I had problems with my veins being hard to find when blood samples were taken, but no one ever tried to dig for it... Just stab a few times and hope to get enough blood for the test (it didn't worked giving not enough blood so the nurse gave up and took from the other arm... though there was something wrong anyway and she took new samples the next day when I came with urine samples, I was much better hydrated the next day anyway).


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They had to take four vials for a study I volunteered to do.


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That time, the nurse was barely able to draw two vial out of me...


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NobodysHome wrote:

Ah, the irony.

After growing up in droughts so bad that we have pictures of my brother and I standing under Yosemite Falls as it trickled onto our heads, then enduring a prolonged drought over the last few years, I decided to go to Tuolumne Meadows for my 50th birthday.

So of course, after this year's bumper crop of rain, the road is closed due to avalanche danger. In June.

So I'm just going to toodle up to Crane Flat, talk to the rangers, and see whether there's a make-up hike I can do. Probably Tuolumne Grove.

Ah, well. At least I don't have birthdays at bad as Captain Yesterday's... yet...

EDIT: BIRTHDAY SUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to Yosemite falls a few months ago, and it there was so much water that the falls were overloaded and water was pouring over the canyon wall in little temporary waterfalls all over the valley.


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Belated felicitations to NobodysHome and Tacticslion. Huzzah!

Glad to hear you're home, John. Recover well and quickly!

I am taking four straight days of vacation for the first time in years (or at least it *feels* it's been that long . . . .), and I'm going job hunting. Chasing the dream of a living wage . . . . [redacted]

Best thing so far this week:

Oklahoma-brother (Xorn Terel, who *maybe* posted here four times) is visiting this week, and so my brothers and I got together with some long-time family friends for a night of grilling and gaming. New York strips, chicken breasts, Canecuh sausages, burgers, shrimp-and-veggie skewers, bacon, . . . . Wonderful stuff! And then about 7 hours of FPS violence interspersed with second (and third!) helpings . . . . Good times.

Best thing the past month:

I finally got to meet my 5-month-old nephew. Happiest baby I've ever met. Even in the midst of his "I'm hungry!" or "Change my diaper!" come-aparts, he'll pause to smile at you, if only for a moment. I'm a humbled, happy Uncle Terrigan. :)


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT: But yeah, I have to admit, even *I* was a bit shocked at the wizard's, "I take the +1 icy burst light mace! I take the +3 glamered chainmail! Now, are the negatives worth the positives?"

There wasn't even a, "Who might be better suited to these?", just, "I take them first, then see whether it's worth using them, and then and only then offer them up to anyone else."
The problem is, everyone at the table was tired, so he got away with it, and only the next day when we were discussing the game did the magnitude of the hoarding come to light...

Whingy Wizard is a child, clearly.

...Right?

If by "a child" you mean "pushing 48", then yes.


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You "almost" make me wish I had some sort of gaming horror story.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

All of mine are from thirty years ago.


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lisamarlene wrote:
Tequila Sunrise wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT: But yeah, I have to admit, even *I* was a bit shocked at the wizard's, "I take the +1 icy burst light mace! I take the +3 glamered chainmail! Now, are the negatives worth the positives?"

There wasn't even a, "Who might be better suited to these?", just, "I take them first, then see whether it's worth using them, and then and only then offer them up to anyone else."
The problem is, everyone at the table was tired, so he got away with it, and only the next day when we were discussing the game did the magnitude of the hoarding come to light...

Whingy Wizard is a child, clearly.

...Right?

If by "a child" you mean "pushing 48", then yes.

And in the light of a day in the mountains, maybe I didn't explain it well.

He did indeed immediately claim both items. He then asked whether he could use the mace. When I informed him that he, unfortunately, did not have familiarity with it, he dutifully returned it to the group inventory.
The chainmail was far odder, as he was bound and determined to make it work some way, but that goes hand-in-hand the the aforementioned "terrified of death" style of play.

So the issue he causes is that he very diligently asks everyone else, "Does anyone need this item?"
If no hands goes up, he asks, "Can I possibly use this item?"

The difference is fundamental, and rapidly irritates other players who are losing thousands of gold pieces of their shares to, "I might possibly use this someday."

EDIT: *My* biggest issue with it is that it's an issue neither Whingy nor Shiro will back down from -- they went at it so hard and angrily during GothBard's Second Darkness campaign that it contributed to her decision to drop it. (There were other, more serious factors, but it was indeed a stressor for her.)
So I get to look forward to being asked to mediate something that, fundamentally, shouldn't be in the GM's hands. There's no "mandate from on high" about how loot should be distributed. And considering they're both on my "S list" in terms of loot distribution, that's hard. During that same campaign, they were arguing when Whingy had a wealth of over 20k, Shiro had a wealth of around 8k, and when I pointed out that everyone was scarfing items so fast my wealth was all of 900 gp, they both told me it was my fault for not asking for more. Which, I pointed out, totally violated my character concept, so they said, "Tough. You don't ask for anything, you don't get anything."

Not a great way to try to create a functional party...

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