Deep 6 FaWtL


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What did the Spanish firefighter name his two sons? Jose, and Hose B.

Ahem. This is not the hose I was referring to.


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Is a lesbian dinosaur a Lickalotofpus?


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How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.


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My girlfriend told me she needed time and distance. Why? Is she calculating velocity?


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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.


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What's so special about bullets? They only do their job after their fired.


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My ex-wife was deaf, and she left me for a deaf guy. I really should have seen the signs.


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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.


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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their little brooms.

So it was Canadian bacon?


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.

And I am looking at no one in particular.

*cough*GoatToucher*cough*


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I didn't get both Sally jokes...


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Sally can't knock because of joke 1.


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And why she has no arms?


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Perhaps she got disarmed?

~RUNS~


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Maybe she was in a car accident? The first "joke" is really just a setup for the second.


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Sharoth wrote:

Perhaps she got disarmed?

~RUNS~

She should work on raising her CMD. Which could be tough, seeing as she has no arms.


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Makes it likely she'll be defeated.


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So be carful what you say?


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Sorry, Freehold. These Firefly pick-up lines aren't for you.


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Sissyl wrote:
Makes it likely she'll be defeated.

Sally's been dis-armed and de-feeted? Throw her in the water and we'll change her name to Bob.


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See I feel at this point the joke has been dismembered. I Think that one is just harder to catch if your reading it instead of telling it.


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I am curious about something now. If a wizard gets thrown out of the Wizard's Guild and has to turn in their ceremonial attire, have they been disrobed?


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captain yesterday wrote:

This weekend I get to go to that most cliche of Midwestern events, a barn wedding.

So, in order to entertain myself since it's the General's side of the family she gets to drink and I'm the designated driver, I'm going to tell everyone something different when they inevitably ask about my eyebrow.

All I have so far is
Squirrels
Clowns

Any other ideas are appreciated. I'd like to keep it as few words as possible as these sorts of things are more believable if they're short and mysterious.

The Cheese Golem you created got out of control.

You were a contestant in the Great Games of the Warhoons.
You've taken up Mensur.
Things got out of hand when you grappled that Succubus.
You fought a duel to defend the General's honour.
You're growing a third eye.
Kitten rustling.
Angry trees.


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In addition, hope you recover swiftly & completely, John :)


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It's osmotic.
Roomba malfunction.
Boomerang practice.
Tameshiwari.
The maintenance tunnels.
Trebuchet injury.


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captain yesterday wrote:

This weekend I get to go to that most cliche of Midwestern events, a barn wedding.

So, in order to entertain myself since it's the General's side of the family she gets to drink and I'm the designated driver, I'm going to tell everyone something different when they inevitably ask about my eyebrow.

All I have so far is
Squirrels
Clowns

Any other ideas are appreciated. I'd like to keep it as few words as possible as these sorts of things are more believable if they're short and mysterious.

Slipped during tantric sex session.

Confused penguin.
Tried to figure out exactly how happy a pig in s!%% is.
F@*$in' rebels blew up my third Death Star.
Dale *pauses* Earnhardt.
Drunken round of Elefun the Elephant.
Slipped on the Slip-N-Slide, but didn't slide.
Just show them this.
If I didn't do this, the terrorists would have won.
Overexcited corgi.


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What if every country has ninjas, and we only know about Japan's because they're the worst?


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Why is it considered a compliment for a girl to throw a piece of her undergarments at a performing artist, yet if I threw my boxers at Beyonce, I'd get arrested?


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Losing one shoe is basically the same thing as losing two.


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Gyms should really charge a minimal membership fee, but assess fines for every day you don't show up.


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When doing the Limbo, setting the bar very low is actually setting the bar very high.


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Pet food advertises all kinds of different flavors, but you'll never know for sure unless you are willing to taste it.


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Does anyone else think it strange that Alt+Tab switches windows, and not tabs?


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Swimming is basically your body using all it's muscles in an effort to not drown, and yet most people consider it a fun leisure activity.


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The last time you were on a trampoline, may in fact be the last time you are on a trampoline. Only time will tell.


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The English language is basically the bastard child of French and German, but raised by Vikings.


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What would it be like to actually forget how to ride a bike?


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Every year in America, approximately 11,000 injuries are reported as being the result of sexual experimentation.


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The National Animal of Scotland is a unicorn.


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The following is a list of odd town names:
S%*+terton, England
Hell, Michigan
Why, Arizona
Whynot, Mississippi
Bastardstown, Ireland
Batman, Turkey (at one point, they threatened to sue Warner Bros)
Beaverlick, Kentucky
B~$$~field, England
Boring, Oregon (became a twin city with Dull, Scotland)
Bra, Italy
Catbrain, England
Cockburn Town, Turks and Calcos Islands
Cocks, Cornwall
Condom, France
Dicktown, New Jersey
Embarrass, Minnesota
Cut and Shoot, Texas
F&*+~$ Hill, Massachusetts
Fingringhoe, England
Gay, Georgia
Hooker, Oklahoma
Hop Bottom, Pennsylvania
Hospital, Ireland (the village has no hospital)
Kill, Ireland
Knob Lick, Missouri
Lost, Scotland
Middelfart, Denmark
Normal, Illinois
No Place, England
Ofakim, Israel
Onancock, Virginia
Once Brewed, England (not far from Twice Brewed, both in Northumbria)
Pennycomequick, England
Police, Poland
Rectum, the Netherlands
Scratchy Bottom, England
Six Mile Bottom, England
Rottenegg, Austria
Surprise, Arizona
Swastika, Canada
Te Puke, New Zealand
Thong, England
Three Cocks, Wales
Useless Loop, Australia
Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Wank, Germany
Wankum, Germany
Weed, California
Westward Ho!, UK
Worms, Germany


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OOh funny facts now we are talking.


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What no Happy Texas?


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I didn't make the list, just copied it.


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And now, I must go to do some work. Farewell, FaWtL. I hope to see thee again soon.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Need help building an ark? I Noah guy.

What? No you don't. I never seen you before in me life mate.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:

The following is a list of odd town names:

S!@@terton, England
Hell, Michigan
Why, Arizona
Whynot, Mississippi
Bastardstown, Ireland
Batman, Turkey (at one point, they threatened to sue Warner Bros)
Beaverlick, Kentucky
B+#%$field, England
Boring, Oregon (became a twin city with Dull, Scotland)
Bra, Italy
Catbrain, England
Cockburn Town, Turks and Calcos Islands
Cocks, Cornwall
Condom, France
Dicktown, New Jersey
Embarrass, Minnesota
Cut and Shoot, Texas
F#&%*+ Hill, Massachusetts
Fingringhoe, England
Gay, Georgia
Hooker, Oklahoma
Hop Bottom, Pennsylvania
Hospital, Ireland (the village has no hospital)
Kill, Ireland
Knob Lick, Missouri
Lost, Scotland
Middelfart, Denmark
Normal, Illinois
No Place, England
Ofakim, Israel
Onancock, Virginia
Once Brewed, England (not far from Twice Brewed, both in Northumbria)
Pennycomequick, England
Police, Poland
Rectum, the Netherlands
Scratchy Bottom, England
Six Mile Bottom, England
Rottenegg, Austria
Surprise, Arizona
Swastika, Canada
Te Puke, New Zealand
Thong, England
Three Cocks, Wales
Useless Loop, Australia
Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Wank, Germany
Wankum, Germany
Weed, California
Westward Ho!, UK
Worms, Germany

Not to mention Lord Hereford's Nob, which has been measured at over 1,000 feet above sea level.

EDIT: And Wetwang, North Yorkshire.


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captain yesterday wrote:

This weekend I get to go to that most cliche of Midwestern events, a barn wedding.

So, in order to entertain myself since it's the General's side of the family she gets to drink and I'm the designated driver, I'm going to tell everyone something different when they inevitably ask about my eyebrow.

All I have so far is
Squirrels
Clowns

Any other ideas are appreciated. I'd like to keep it as few words as possible as these sorts of things are more believable if they're short and mysterious.

Rogue AI in the stuffed toy department

Whales
Pac Man
The Cloud
Kim Jong-Il (be sure to keep in mind he's the dead one...)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Kicked by Chuck Norris?
Be aware that having survived this makes you really awesome.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

So far I have.
Squirrels
Clowns
Beavers
Cthulhu
Tom Cruise
Da Bears
Lunar Eclipse
Waldo
The British
Mousetrap
Butterflies

I know a guy that makes Trebuchets so that one is also too believable.

I'm not sure if Nascar nation would know who Kim Jong Il is.

I truly despise Chuck Norris so he's always out.

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