Deep 6 FaWtL

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, to WHOM.

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Shudder.
Shudder who?
Shudder up and let me in!

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Panther.
Panther who?
Panther no panth, I'm goin' thwimmin'!

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pete.
Pete who?
Pete-za delivery!

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cows.
Cows who?
No, cows moo.

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Oops, I did it again.

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c...
MOO!!

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting physicist.
Interrupting phys...
MUON!!!

[Vidmaster7]

The interrupting ones really are only good in person.

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
I wish.

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Methane.
Methane who?
Methane. Everyone else, inthane!

[gran rey de los mono]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Bay leaf.
Bay leaf who?
Bay Leaf Navidad!

[gran rey de los mono]

And now for something completely different...

[gran rey de los mono]

My wife really wanted a fur coat, but the fancy ones are too expensive. So, I bought her one made of hamsters. Big mistake. She wore it out one night, and we passed a ferris wheel and she spent the next six hours running inside of it.

[Vidmaster7]

completely different sounds good.

[gran rey de los mono]

I was so happy when I found and married Miss Right. Unfortunately, I soon found out she thought her first name was Always.

[gran rey de los mono]

A friend of mine told me his wife's credit card was stolen. I asked if he had called the police. He said "No, the thief is spending less than my wife ever did."

[gran rey de los mono]

A man and a woman were on an elevator. He turned to her and said "You look like Helen Green." She replied "Not that it's any of your business, but I look worse in red."

[gran rey de los mono]

I took a girl on a date to the drive-in movies. About halfway through, I asked if she wanted to get in the back seat. She said "No. I'd rather stay up here where you are."

[gran rey de los mono]

I know a woman who has been widowed twice. The first husband died when he ate some poisonous mushrooms. The second husband died from being hit in the head with a skillet when he refused to.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I took a girl on a date to the drive-in movies. About halfway through, I asked if she wanted to get in the back seat. She said "No. I'd rather stay up here where you are."

I dated someone like that once.

[gran rey de los mono]

My girlfriend and I watched 3 DVDs back to back yesterday. Luckily for me, I was the one facing the TV.

[gran rey de los mono]

Ulysses' long voyage home by sea is often referred to as "The Odyssey". I like to think of it as "The Penelope Cruise".

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Ulysses' long voyage home by sea is often referred to as "The Odyssey". I like to think of it as "The Penelope Cruise".

Dang now that is old school.

[gran rey de los mono]

If a man says something in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?

[Vidmaster7]

I finally understand hecklers.

[gran rey de los mono]

A man called the front desk of the hotel he was staying at and asked for the maintenance man to be sent up. The clerk asked what the problem was. The man said "My wife just found out I've been having an affair with her sister for the last 3 years and is trying to jump out the window." The clerk said "That's a police issue, not a maintenance one!" The man said "No, the window won't open. THAT'S a maintenance issue."

[gran rey de los mono]

Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

A man called the front desk of the hotel he was staying at and asked for the maintenance man to be sent up. The clerk asked what the problem was. The man said "My wife just found out I've been having an affair with her sister for the last 3 years and is trying to jump out the window." The clerk said "That's a police issue, not a maintenance one!" The man said "No, the window won't open. THAT'S a maintenance issue."

Now that one I like and can relate too.

[gran rey de los mono]

A policeman called his Sergeant on the radio:
Officer: "Sarge, I've got a case here. A woman shot her husband for walking on a floor she just mopped clean."
Sergeant: "Well, have you arrested her yet?"
Officer: "No Sarge."
Sergeant: "Why not?"
Officer: "The floor isn't dry yet."

[gran rey de los mono]

One day I asked my wife, would she remarry if I died. She thought for a moment and said "Yes, I think I would." I asked if they would share our bed. She said "Yes, I think we would." I asked if she would let him use my golf clubs. She laughed and said "Of course not, he's left handed."

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day I asked my wife, would she remarry if I died. She thought for a moment and said "Yes, I think I would." I asked if they would share our bed. She said "Yes, I think we would." I asked if she would let him use my golf clubs. She laughed and said "Of course not, he's left handed."

O_O and then he goes out and shoots the neighbor.

[gran rey de los mono]

My nieces used to run around the house naked when they were little. I put a end to that. I had them each drink some Windex to stop them from streaking.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

My niece's used to run around the house naked when they were little. I put a end to that. I had them each drink some Windex to stop them from streaking.

Probably stopped more then the streaking....

[gran rey de los mono]

I was at a bar the other day, and saw a beautiful woman sitting all alone. I wanted to talk to her, but wasn't sure what to say. I asked the bartender and he said "Just go over there and say your favorite pick-up line." So I gathered my courage, strode over purposefully, looked her square in the eyes, and said "Ford F-series."

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I was at a bar the other day, and saw a beautiful woman sitting all alone. I wanted to talk to her, but wasn't sure what to say. I asked the bartender and he said "Just go over there and say your favorite pick-up line." So I gathered my courage, strode over purposefully, looked her square in the eyes, and said "Ford F-series."

I knew a girl that that would of worked on.

[gran rey de los mono]

I went for an interview for a job the other day. The interviewer asked me what I thought my greatest weakness was. I said "My honesty." She said "I don't think honesty is a weakness." I replied "I don't give a f&!~ what you think."

[gran rey de los mono]

That's all for now.

[Vidmaster7]

Good times.

[Kileanna]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I was at a bar the other day, and saw a beautiful woman sitting all alone. I wanted to talk to her, but wasn't sure what to say. I asked the bartender and he said "Just go over there and say your favorite pick-up line." So I gathered my courage, strode over purposefully, looked her square in the eyes, and said "Ford F-series."

I knew a girl that that would of worked on.

If a guy approached me, said that, and when I asked he told me: "I was saying a pick up line" at least I'll give him an opportunity for making me laugh.

It's still much better than regular pick up lines.

[Vidmaster7]

Clearly you have not seen my super nerdy pick-up lines

Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.

You're sweeter than 3.14

If you were a triangle youd be acute one.

best part about them if they go huh you just move along their not smart enough for you.

[gran rey de los everything]

Did you cast Charm, because I failed my Will save.

[Kileanna]

Best pick up lines ever.

[Vidmaster7]

DnD specific

Hey girl you look like the players handbook a lot of rules in the front but a lot of magic in the back.

On a scale from 1 to 10 your a natural 20.

wanna come back to my place and slip into something with a lower armor class?

[Kileanna]

I would be totally uninterested on anyone who didn't get those ;-D

[Diablo Unique Item]

After all, one of the most beautiful things I've been called in all my life is Diablo Unique Item.

[Vidmaster7]

I actually recently started playing Diablo 3 again. They made changes the changes were good. Spending way to much time on it now.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

...wanna come back to my place and slip into something with a lower armor class?

Might not work well if they play 2e.

[Vidmaster7]

fair however them knowing that.

Them: "but why would you want me to be harder to hit?"
me: Marry me!

[Kileanna]

I never got into Diablo 3 because I didn't have a gaming station, and also because it didn't seem very good.

But Diablo 2 is one of my favorite games ever.