Deep 6 FaWtL

[gran rey de los nekkid]

Is an obese psychic a four-chin teller?

Sure, that's totally a chin.

[gran rey de los mono]

I have no home, I've lost control, and I see no escape. I think it's time for a new keyboard.

[gran rey de los mono]

What do you call the wife of a hippy? Mississippi!

[gran rey de los mono]

Losing a wife can be hard. In fact, sometimes it's downright impossible!

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Actually my personal favorite walks into a bar joke.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Yeah, that's a good one. I actually posted a version of it a day or two ago.

[gran rey de los mono]

Why did the counterfeiter take a blacksmithing class? So he could forge better.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Actually my personal favorite walks into a bar joke.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Yeah, that's a good one. I actually posted a version of it a day or two ago.

Yeah its hard to keep up with this thread.

[gran rey de los mono]

I solemnly vow that I won't sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Actually my personal favorite walks into a bar joke.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Yeah, that's a good one. I actually posted a version of it a day or two ago.

Yeah its hard to keep up with this thread.

Really? I mean there's only, what, 158,560 or so posts? Why can't you keep them all in short-term memory?

[gran rey de los mono]

A man hobbles into a pharmacy and says "I am in pain, and a friend suggested I get a truss. Do you have one?" The pharmacist says "Sure, walk this way." The man says "If I could walk that way I wouldn't need a truss."

[gran rey de los mono]

Kileanna wrote:

This doesn't feel like FaWtL until puns start.

Hopefully we find some other way to make this place feel right, because sooner or later I'm going to run out of these things.

[questioning rabbit]

Eh, what's in it for me, Doc?

[Vidmaster7]

Usually my neutrino one goes right over peoples heads (which is understandable given how fast it's moving. )

[Ordinary Rabbit]

questioning rabbit wrote:

Eh, what's in it for me, Doc?

*sniffs new rabbit*

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Usually my neutrino one goes right over peoples heads (which is understandable given how fast it's moving. )

I liked it.

[questioning rabbit]

Ordinary Rabbit wrote:

questioning rabbit wrote:

Eh, what's in it for me, Doc?

*sniffs new rabbit*

Eh, what's up, Doc?

[gran rey de los mono]

questioning rabbit wrote:

Ordinary Rabbit wrote:

questioning rabbit wrote:

Eh, what's in it for me, Doc?

*sniffs new rabbit*

Eh, what's up, Doc?

*grins crookedly*

[captain yesterday]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Deep Thoughts, By Cap Yesterday wrote:

I saw a naked slug. Once.

I squished it. Because that's what you do when you find a f$%!ing slug in your garden.

That required your deep thought alias ?

Yes, that's about as deep as they get.

[gran rey de los mono]

Come on! I made you breakfast in bed! You should say "Thank you"! Instead all you keep saying is "Who are you?" and "How did you get into my house?"

[gran rey de los mono]

You know what they say, smile and the world smiles with you. Fart, and suddenly the world stops smiling.

[gran rey de los mono]

Fortune teller 1: "Looks like we're in for a hot summer."
Fortune teller 2: "Yep, it reminds me of the summer of 2049..."

[gran rey de los mono]

Me: "Is it strange to talk to yourself?"
Me: "Nope. Perfectly normal."
Me: "Good. I was worried for a bit."

[gran rey de los mono]

My cousin went to jail last night. He didn't take it very well. He yelled, he kicked and bit, he even threw his feces on the wall. One thing is for sure. I'm never playing Monopoly with him again!

[gran rey de los mono]

I know that last few weren't puns, but I liked them.

[Kileanna]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I have no home, I've lost control, and I see no escape. I think it's time for a new keyboard.

I liked this one.

By the way, Big King of the Puns, tell me what you were doing in a radio station in Spain a few minutes ago. I turned it on for some awful Spanish music (sometimes I just feel like harming my ears for no reason) and there was a guy saying puns. For 15 minutes. One after another. It was an improvement to the quality of what I usually find at the radio.

[John Napier 698]

Must have been a Morning Show. Such shows over here often do comedy. Here's a good set of comedy from a Pittsburgh Radio Station. Enjoy. :)

[gran rey de los mono]

Kileanna wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I have no home, I've lost control, and I see no escape. I think it's time for a new keyboard.

I liked this one.

By the way, Big King of the Puns, tell me what you were doing in a radio station in Spain a few minutes ago. I turned it on for some awful Spanish music (sometimes I just feel like harming my ears for no reason) and there was a guy saying puns. For 15 minutes. One after another. It was an improvement to the quality of what I usually find at the radio.

I have no idea how I got there. To the best of my knowledge I've never been to Spain. Also, I assume they were speaking in Spanish, which I don't.

[Kileanna]

Then your nickname is tricky because it is in Spanish.
Go learn Spanish, now! And start learning the obvious: puns and curse words.

[Kajehase]

Kileanna wrote:

Why should the slug be dressed?

Is a dressed slug a snail?

I guess if it's a battle slug it would wear some kind of barding. A chanfron to protect its tentacles at the very least. (I'd have called them antennae or feelers, but apparently they're tentacles.)

[Kileanna]

Metal Slug!
Wait, wasn't that a SNK game?

[gran rey de los mono]

Kileanna wrote:

Then your nickname is tricky because it is in Spanish.

Go learn Spanish, now! And start learning the obvious: puns and curse words.

Well, I did take two years of it in high school, and I remember a bit of it (more than I do of the year of German I took), but I'm nowhere near what you might call fluent. I actually tend to do better at reading it than hearing it. And my nickname is in Spanish (and incorrect, as well) because it is a result of a series of jokes between myself and my friends spanning from high school through college. I'm not in touch with any of those people anymore, but I like the name so I stick with it.

[Kileanna]

I know it's incorrect but I didn't want to say anything about it ;-D

I also do much better at written English than spoken. I still miss some parts of conversation in English even though I watch a lot of series and movies in English and I have been into the UK for a month (more than 10 years ago). I try to remain fluent in English but as I don't get to speak it a lot it's not easy.

My French is a lost cause. It gets worse and worse everyday.

[gran rey de los mono]

French, bah! Never bothered with it. I think I can maybe count to three and ask you if you speak English. Maybe. I'd probably mispronounce it so badly that I would get arrested for proposing something illegal.

[gran rey de los mono]

Also, there is a reason why my name is incorrect, but let's just say it is intentional and leave it at that.

[Kileanna]

I'm curious but I won't ask.

[gran rey de los mono]

I wouldn't explain it anyways, for two reasons. First, it isn't very interesting. And second, this was I still have an aura of mystery. Maybe I'm lying and the story behind my name is actually very interesting. Maybe I'm actually a famous person and the explanation would give a clue as to my true identity. Maybe I'm super rich and holding some kind of weird contest wherein all of my posts can be put together in some insanely complicated puzzle and if you solve it you'll win elebenty million dollars.

Or, maybe it just isn't very interesting like I said.

[Kileanna]

An aura of mystery. I wish I could have something like that. But my mouth is way too big.

I have «Diablo Unique Item» as a title in some places (and it's also an alias that I haven't still used) and that's also an uninteresting story of a title I like.

[Vidmaster7]

<is a man of mystery people are always wondering about the other 5-6 of me.

[Tacticslion]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Usually my neutrino one goes right over peoples heads (which is understandable given how fast it's moving. )

Oh, I got it; I've seen that post before.

*ba-dum-ching!*

[Battery Sgt. Major Longears]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

<is a man of mystery people are always wondering about the other 5-6 of me.

If you want to see Vidmaster 1, I know where he is,

I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 1, I know where he is,
He's hiding in I'm Hiding In Your Closet's closet.

I saw him, I saw him,
Hiding in I'm Hiding In Your Closet's closet (I saw him)
Hiding in I'm Hiding In Your Closet's closet.

If you want to see Vidmaster 2, I know where he is,
I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 2, I know where he is,
He's grappling with a Succubus Paladin

I saw him, I saw him,
Grappling with a Palubus Succladin (I saw him)
Grappling with an Anadin Extra.

If you want to see Vidmaster 3, I know where he is,
I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 3, I know where he is,
He's trying to escape from GoatToucher Island.

I saw him, I saw him,
Trying to escape from GoatToucher Island (I saw him)
Trying to escape from GoatToucher Island.

If you want to see Vidmaster 4, I know where he is,
I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 4, I know where he is,
He's scraping the breadcrumbs off an old Scotch Egg.

I saw him, I saw him,
Scraping the breadcrumbs off an old Scotch Egg (I saw him)
Scraping the breadcrumbs off an old Scotch Egg.

If you want to see Vidmaster 5, I know where he is,
I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 5, I know where he is,
He's rubbing a Cryohydra with Deep Heat.

I saw him, I saw him,
Rubbing a Cryohydra with Deep Heat (I saw him)
Rubbing a Cryohydra with Deep Heat.

If you want to see Vidmaster 6, I know where he is,
I know where he is,
I know where he is,
If you want to see Vidmaster 6, I know where he is,
He's putting blonde streaks in Number Seven's beard.

I saw him, I saw him,
Putting blonde streaks in Number Seven's beard (I saw him)
Putting blonde streaks in Number Seven's beaaaaard. Oi!

[Kjeldorn]

Hello everyone, how everyone doing?

Me?, tired and sore, work was a really rough ride today.

[Kileanna]

Best. Song. Ever. I am listing this.

[captain yesterday]

I get to divide my dinosaur sized hostas today!

Seriously, they aren't even elephant ear hostas and the leaves are easily a foot in diameter.

So, if anyone wants some free hostas, this is the week. :-)

[Kileanna]

I don't even know what a hosta is.

[captain yesterday]

A plant that's been around since the dinosaurs.

[Kileanna]

*Googles*
Ahhhh! That plant! I didn't even know if it has a different name in Spanish. I know it but not by the name.

[NobodysHome]

Ah, nothing like starting a new week at work after bailing out four, count 'em, FOUR courses over the last two weeks, only to have your manager run out of things for you to do.

Gonna be a heavy housework day today, methinks...

[Tacticslion]

My internet has died and has a tech coming to fix it (or something) this afternoon.
My house is a mess and desperately needs cleaning.
Later today, I will be tutoring a student, and Inshould probably study up.
I have games to prep for.
Sounds like about the perfect time for a nap!

[NobodysHome]

Tacticslion wrote:

My internet has died and has a tech coming to fix it (or something) this afternoon.

My house is a mess and desperately needs cleaning.
Later today, I will be tutoring a student, and Inshould probably study up.
I have games to prep for.
Sounds like about the perfect time for a nap!

You, sir, are wise.

[Limeylongears]

13:30, Friday 19th May. 'The Client' phones

"LIMEY! THE THING! DO THE THING! YOU MUST DO THE THING! MAKE SURE THE THING IS DONE - DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, BUT IF THE THING IS NOT DONE FOR MONDAY, NAMELESS COSMIC HORRORS WILL INVADE THIS REALITY AND DRAG US ALL BACK TO AN ENDLESS, PAIN-WRACKED SERVITUDE WHERE WE WILL BE DENIED EVEN THE BLESSED RELIEF OF DEATH!"

17:30, Friday 19th May. Limey phones 'The Client'

"OK, I've done the English thing. The Australian thing will have to wait until they've cleared the wallabies out of the office and had their morning 'slab of stubbies'"

"AGH! AGH! BUT THE THING MUST HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA AS WELL! IT MUST! IT MUST! KEEP IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION AND LET ME KNOW THE MINUTE THE DIGERIDOOS SOUND, OR YOU WILL RUE THE DAY!!!!"

10:30am, Monday 22nd May. Limey and Limey's boss contact 'The Client'

"OK. Both the Australian Thing and the English Thing are go!"

"O, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT - IT WON'T BE READY FOR ANOTHER WEEK AT LEAST. SORREEEE!

Blimey.