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So... the kids really drive me crazy with the way they spam Divination and use it as an, "Ask the GM what we should do next!", "Abandon all responsibility for our own actions" spell.
In our Skull & Shackles game, we got a scroll of Divination. And I'm burning it in the most meaningless way possible, which just delights me:
For the GM: So, for your prep work, here’s what I envision Del saying, though I won’t be reading it out loud, so it’ll be “somewhat like this”:
==========================
“Hello? Your Ladyship? It’s me, Rayne. Rayne Adelaine. But you probably knew that already.
I don’t know why you chose me, or even who you are. Honestly, I think maybe you were just trying to touch Lady Adelaine and I managed to get in the way somehow. But you saved me. You gave me the strength to survive the jewelry store, and Silas, and the House. I would have died there if you hadn’t given me the power to heal myself and the other girls. And once Silas was dead, you led me to Captain Finn, probably the only pirate captain in all of the Shackles who would tolerate me. You have done SO much for me already! Even now, on my eve of self-doubt, you saw to it that this scroll arrived in my possession, that I might ask you for help! You are truly the kindest of goddesses, whoever you are.
But now, we are hunting slavers. You know what happened. You saw them drag Daffodil’s battered corpse out of the House after Jaxo was done with her! I never even learned her real name! You know the blood and the pain and the tears and the agony of the House. You know how many girls died under my care.
And the men? Now I understand. They were all slavers.
And now, I am powerful enough. My heart fills with rage, and the thirst to see their ashes seared in holy flames, blown by the sea breezes to be scattered beyond all redemption. I don’t care about the rum. I just want to see the men who enslave and torture others burned and dead and sent to the Abyss in which they belong. But… is that me, or is that the demon inside of me? Do I drive myself ever towards the Abyss? What would Lady Adelaine think?
When I imagine exacting my vengeance on the vile vermin that inhabit that ship, I see their burning bodies. I hear their cries of suffering. And then I see Lady Adelaine, a single tear running down her cheek. And I am ashamed.
For though I am damned to the Abyss for the crime of my birth, I will NOT see Lady Adelaine be ashamed of me! She was so kind, and so good. And she taught all of us that no matter how evil someone is, we should always look for the good. And I did! Holly, and Umber, and Penny, and Narwhal, and even Brutus! I saved them all! I protected them all! I kept them good. Until… the jeweler.
And I am lost, My Lady. Lost in rage, and hate, and the demon inside of me that tears to be free. And I need to know: Do I follow Lady Adelaine’s path? How would I know? What would make her proud? How can I face these men and not succumb to my abyssal nature? I am damned, but damned if I will make my Lady ashamed of me!
Help me, My Lady! What should I do?
EDIT: And OF COURSE if I'm playing a female Charisma-based character I'm going to be naked! I *am* a reasonable man!
EDIT 2: And yeah, the GM's answer is going to be, "They're scum! Go ahead and drop your 5 Flame Strikes and 6 Holy Smites on their sorry butts! They deserve it!
But if you're good-aligned and planning on nuking a shipful of people at range...
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I love Legion, every second of it.
But then I like my drama seasons to be short and convoluted.
The impressive thing about Legion (and Fargo) is they tie them all together, even the red herrings are folded into the overall story.
By the way Tacticslion, the Shadow King is played by none other than Aubrey Plaza (April from Parks and Recreation), and holy shit does she deserve an award!
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I really loved that Ptominy's default reaction to any sort of adversity was to start blasting high powered automatic rifles, no matter how close range they are. Or I should say especially if they're in short range.
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Oh yeah legion is excellent can't wait for next season.
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The covert bakery operates on a knead to know basis.
Oh bread puns isn't that a bit stale? Dough Who am I to judge. It would be crumby of me, and I'd like to think i'm bread better then that.
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German sausage jokes are the wurst.
What little brat told you that!?
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*Curls up in fetal position, while sobbing violently*
Why?! why all the puns? Do I not suffer enough? What Gods have I angered to be subjected to this torment?
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You didn't axe for it so perhaps we will shield you from them. But we are having an arrowing time stopping them.
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I find it sword of amusing.
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You didn't axe for it so perhaps we will shield you from them. But we are having an arrowing time stopping them.
*Makes strangling hands motion towards Sharoth*
why you little!!!
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I would enjoy hestias company greatly, yes.
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This thread is a-mace-ing
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Tiny T-Rex is dropped off at school.
*fingers crossed!*
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Going for the star wars session.
A half-hour nap, though I am wary of calling it even a nap, did help a bit...
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A surprise thunderstorm! How exciting! I love spring and summer!!!
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Exams are almost over. Missed a chance to get a summer job most likely, but I took summer courses in case I really don't have other options.
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I swear, the entire real estate industry is such a sham they should all be paddled and sent home without supper.
So, as you all know, we just did a cash-out refi, during the course of which our house got professionally appraised to the tune of $980,000. (Still not a millionaire -- sorry, Grand Magus!)
Well, the house across the street (slightly bigger, but no studio in back) is now actually on the market, being sold and everything. The asking price? $839,000.
So... either my appraisal was ludicrously high in order to secure the loan they wanted to give me, or the people across the street are selling their house ludicrously underpriced.
Honesty, much?
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You should buy it and then sell it to Grand Magus for 1 million dollars.
Man. Time. I need more of it.
I have, like, three PMs I need to respond to (I keep intending to, but either run out of time or forget; as they are all relatively old, I'm being quite rude :/), and I need to update my PbP. Dang it, life, why you so busy?!
Instead of doing either of those, though, it's off to TKD!
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I got one of the grumpy old people in our neighborhood to say something nice. :-)
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Ah yes, dealing with the overpaid hack that passes for a school nurse at our elementary school.
Man. Time. I need more of it.
I have, like, three PMs I need to respond to (I keep intending to, but either run out of time or forget; as they are all relatively old, I'm being quite rude :/), and I need to update my PbP. Dang it, life, why you so busy?!
Instead of doing either of those, though, it's off to TKD!
Okay, it would help if I showed up for things on time instead of an hour early.
But now I'm here and a half hour from anywhere, so I can't exactly leave and come back...
But hey: free extra stretch/warmup time! Woo!
Problem: the ants think I'm extra crawl space. Sigh.
Problem: the ants think I'm extra crawl space. Sigh.
There at, like, four kinds of visibly different types of ants cohabiting this space. I didn't think that was possible. And I don't mean four different specialized units: I mean what is clearly different groups of ants of different kinds doing the same jobs.
All I'm saying is that I'm basically obsessing over ants because, other than telling my kids to stay closer, don't play with that, and don't put that in your mouth, there isn't a bunch of things to do.
Well, other than stretch, I suppose.
Also because they're crawling on me, periodically. XD
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Look, ants, I don't need your services. Any of them. At least not in me. Your offer is kind, but I'm good without. Stop advertising.
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And by "advertising" I mean "climbing on me." You'll be flicked less, that way.
Oh dear! I may be doing something naughty!
... I'm flicking them off!
(Get it?! It's like "flipping" except "flicking"...! Look, I'm a sheltered youth, these are my naughty jokes.)
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That's just cruel.
Also likely to get you hit in an exceedingly uncomfortable way, when we start doing Windmills.
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Ah yes, dealing with the overpaid hack that passes for a school nurse at our elementary school.
Er... in what universe is the "school nurse" "overpaid"?
If he/she's making over $20/hour after getting a full 4-year degree and spending at least 2 years in post-grad training, I'd be amazed...
(I don't doubt that he/she's a hack. I just doubt that he/she's overpaid.)
Also likely to get you hit in an exceedingly uncomfortable way, when we start doing Windmills.
Or arm rotations, or various kicks...
Alright! It's time! Man, looootsa stretching leaves the back of my knees kinda weak...
Fix: more walking!
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Why NobodysHome Should Not Be Allowed To Interact With Junior Team Members:
Junior Team Member: But if we're showing this functionality in the training, and our sales reps demo it, shouldn't our customers expect that they'll be able to implement that functionality in their own deployments? Aren't we trying to be competitive with <our major competitors>?
NobodysHome: Absolutely not! Our executives have no concept of consistency, nor honesty, functionality, nor peer review. They stomp about, declare, "Make the application do THIS!", and then never have any kind of standards, key performance indicators, nor even technical review to ensure that "this" was implemented correctly.
As a result, our application is a cobbled-together set of bits of functionality, some of which work, some of which don't, and many of which cannot successfully communicate with each other without significant configuration effort on the part of the customer.
JTM: But that's not how it should work!
NH: You are absolutely correct. But we are powerless to force the executives to force product management to do their d**n jobs. And our mandate is to show the customers the demo environment that the sales reps get to use. And it isn't until the customers actually start trying to work on their own environments, and hire our partners to implement what they saw in the demo, that they learn that those wonderful demo flows that were shown to them aren't just "not easy", they're things many of our partners have no concept how to implement, because most of our partners are incompetent buffoons who can't design their way out of a paper bag.
JTM: I feel dirty!
NH: Now you're learning!
EDIT: And I'll be honest, I wrapped up with, "So YOUR job is to ignore all the idiocy that goes on around you and focus on doing the best possible work to help our customers be successful. Be proud of what you do, even if you're convinced that everyone around you is a moron. It's the only way to stay sane."
Which I think *might* count as a "pep talk".
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Ah yes, dealing with the overpaid hack that passes for a school nurse at our elementary school.
Er... in what universe is the "school nurse" "overpaid"?
If he/she's making over $20/hour after getting a full 4-year degree and spending at least 2 years in post-grad training, I'd be amazed...
(I don't doubt that he/she's a hack. I just doubt that he/she's overpaid.)
The fact she still has a job there makes her overpaid. She should've been fired years ago.
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Do you sometimes choose avatar pictures purely because of the magnificence of their eyebrows, Captain?
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Yes. :-)
A friendly smile is also helpful. :-)
I am also a fan of extravagant mustaches. :-)
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We have not one, not two, but three separate chances for tornadoes tonight, with tornadoes already reported in Iowa and La Crosse, Wi.
Should be a long night.
Also, Pea Bear's spring chorus concert!
But that's only three blocks away. :-)
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Three tornadoes reported in La Crosse now, and one in Richland Center.
Still more north of us, but lots of storms developing all around us (including one forming just southwest of us that I know the Doppler hasn't picked up yet).
Praying for you guys!