Looks like I missed some rampaging.
That was in the 2000s. It's called ramIMing now.
Enjoy it while you can!
Like a tissue-paper jockstrap, it never lasts.
It probably did last longer then a tissue paper jockstrap however.
*sniff
EW!
Winning?
So long as we are clear on the subject.
That's the smell of the oil you use to polish your head.
Good thing you can't go out during daylight hours or you would blind everyone.
As it is, he keeps being mistaken for a small moon, with fangs.
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That must be what happened to my face.
I was walking along and suddenly it felt like I was hit by a ray of searing light
*Beep Beep!
*ping ping*
You mean No one has won this thing yet?
You had, but now you haven't.
ATTENSHUN!!
ATTENSHUN!!
Well done, Sergeant!
Alright, you devils - at ease. Our objective today is the giant tower with fangs and tentacles over there, which we are to bombard with explosive halflings until it bursts into tears. Any questions?
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I am giving you orders because I am Lance Ensign-Major Comte de Malodor of 9 Battery, 33rd Flatulent Howitzers, smart-arse, and we are blowing up the tower because Mummy wants a new one and this is the only way we can still get a replacement under the terms of the warranty. Besides, GT has been coming back to toy with it on occasion, and we'd be doing it a kindness. Now button your lip and, on the command 'one', prime that halfling!
Is that a euphemism?
Standing by, watching a man getting beaten within an inch of his life? Left bleeding and humiliated in the dust!?!
That tower is most definitely up, my friends...
>.>
Only two beings are allowed to thrash my son, namely myself and Lashcastrakaa, and I would rather not have a tumescent GoatToucher wandering about when my grand garden party is about to begin. We're saving him for later, and it'd spoil the surprise.
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While all this talk of politics, Blood War and demon grandmothers is going on, I've just realised something! If Malvel and I are in this dimension, then where are any/all of the following people:
1. Tom, Hero of Avantia
2. Elenna, Heroine of Avantia
3. Storm, Tom's horse
4. Silver, Elenna's wolf
5. Oradu, Good Wizard of Tavania (he resembles me in every way)
6. Velmal, Dark Wizard of Gwildor
7. Sanpao, the Pirate King
8. Petra, Malvel's apprentice (a truly evil witch)
9. Kensa, the Dark Sorceress
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I wouldn't know, I'm just glad Tom and his friends aren't here! Also, I'm quite "amazed" at you Aduro, you never mentioned Tom's parents (Taladon the Swift and Freya, Mistress of the Beasts), Marc/Daltec (Your own apprentice, granted I killed him when I stole his magic), Blizzard (Elenna's horse and the polar opposite of Strom. Storm is a male horse with black hair while Blizzard is a female horse with white hair) and the fact that I have created a vast army of beasts which also contains the copied forms of various good beasts.
Hey, enough with the 'Game of the Throne' spoilers already!
That would be me.
<.<
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I'm more concerned about the large, uncomfortable, hideous looking chair OUTSIDE THE UNIVERSE. The fact that there are furniture stores in the Far Realm is very unwelcome news.
Who sits on the empty throne?
But whose coffee is that on the table?
Mine. It's actually caramelised Lantern Archon, but the net effect is much the same.
And how lovely to see you again, Snow White's Mother! May I possibly trouble you for your poisoned apple recipe? I need a more-or-less subtle way of getting rid of one or two of Juliette's old boyfriends.
*Charges in and bites off Claw's head, having somehow recovered from seeming defeat offscreen*
Ah standard monster movie tactics.