where the tunnel ends is to start exploring.
The light at the end of the tunnel is Me
Winning
And standing next to you is the wizard Sheen.
Thanks, I can't stand Charlie. All I can do is give him the Evil Eye.
Punch him again for me.
Don't stub your toe.
The Wizard's sheen makes you blink. It is bright.
You blink. That's when you know you were tricked.
No getting Tricky in here Mister!
He doesn't need to.
Since I slinked in behind you, making good use of the fact you don't have eyes in the back of your... umm... eyeball.
You can slink all you want MA; it doesn't beat a good ol fashioned YOINK!
So what exactly do I win?
A consolation prize. If anything.
.
the crazy thing about Flint, MI is the seemingly random anti-magic
zones. not sure if they are as natural as they are sporadic;
or if they appear by design.
if the later, then by whom.. nay, what.
.
.
onto this world steps the high wizard Sheen. His boots crunch
as we walks on the land as dead as its name.
.
huzzzah
peep!
peep peep.
huzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzah
.
on the other side of the parking lot emerge several rag-wrapped men.
they dodge and weave between burned out cars left hap hazardly parked.
judging by the cityscape, nothing happy has grown in these parts for years.
the great wizard Sheen raises his staff as he bellows forth a command.
his magic amplifies his voice to rival a thunder clap.
"give me donuts!"
.
The wizard is killed by a falling donut. Bogie for the win.
Look! An UFO!
Where?
.
the rag-wrapped man were shocked when freshly baked donuts began
flying at them. the speed of the oncoming donuts was upwards of
90mpg.
not just one or two, but hundreds of donuts came at them in a wave.
shocked and terrified of sugar, they quickly fell back to other
parts of this car strewn parking lot.
the wizard Sheen chuckled. "Don't want to hurt you guys now, because
I need you to work for me later." Then, he scowled, "You lower class, working class scum. It's because of uneducated rabble like you that Flint is now a mess. No wonder private equity firms, like Mitt
Romney's Bane Capital, came in and took all your stuff away -- you're
uneducated trash."
.
...and what exactly does this have to do with getting in the final word?
.
Mitt Romney smiled as he watched the video feed from his orbiting
satellites. Buying a few spy satellites for his personal use was really
paying off now. He watched wizard Sheen enter the city of Flint, but
through a burst of static he wasn't sure what was flying through the air
down there.
"You think you can put Flint back together Sheen," Mitt Romney thought.
"Ha, go ahead and try. As soon as you assemble even the smallest
amount of functional capital assets, I will have my money men buy
them for pennies on the dollar from the uneducated white people of Flint
who think they understand how to manage assets."
I am arbitrage, Mitt Romney thought to himself, and I will crush you
wizard Sheen -- tiger blood or not.
.
.
wizard Sheen kept walking. his goal was to find a local mortgage firm.
he didn't expect it to still be in business, but he needed information.
someone around here must be able to tell him the basic blue print of
Flint's economic strategy before Mitt Romney's private equity firm did
its trick.
he stepped out of the parking lot on to the side walk next to a
dismal paved road. flat empty land was paved over all around him.
weeds grew through the cracks.
.
.
in the distance Sheen could see activity. A low sprawling building had
several dozen cars parked out front, and he could see one or two people
walking around.
the building was about one mile away on foot. so wizard Sheen set off
towards it. he needed some information.
.
Now, now... there's no need to get hasty.
.
a man in a wheel chair approached the wizard Sheen.
"Gimme' fifty cents."
.
.
wizard Sheen said, "What?"
"Gim me fiddy cents."
.
.
wizard Sheen asked, "And why would I do that?"
the man in the wheel chair said, "Because I'm poor."
"So? And how will my giving you money change that."
this irritated the man in the wheel chair and he flew of the handle, "It is
not my fault I'm poor. I never had a chance in life to get educated, or
learn how to be a good employee. So you now have to give me half your money
so we can be equal. That's what America is all about equality."
wizard Sheen said, "Wait... because you're a loser? I have to give you
money?"
.
.
"Obviously," said the man.
the wizard Sheen set the man on fire and walked away. Evolution is a b+~%!, eh?
the wizard Sheen laughed at himself for talking like a Canadian.
.
"Talk like a Canadian" Nope, Not as catchy as Walk like an Egyptian.
So of course I win.
.
Somewhere darkly laughing like glass breaking at a gala event rogue queen Rihanna drifted on the hot wind over the dead lands of Flint. The umbrella never wavered as she drifted to a crumbling rooftop to survey the scene, drinking in the obscene pleasure of it all.
.
winning.