A battle between Pulg's Massed Bongolians and a giant cymbal-wielding monkey certainly makes for an unforgettable party. I sure do hope that the Dirty Dangler doesn't crash it and burglarise the vol-au-vents!
*With a mighty crash, the DIRTY DANGLER bursts through an exquisite stained glass window, then rappels down to the floor*
Ha HA!!!
*He races over to the buffet, opens his voluminous drawstring pants, fills them with vol-au-vents, leaves a single red rose in place of the food, then waddles unopposed out of the door, blowing a kiss to Lady Blackmoor as he does so
*Checks wristwatch.*
He was ten minutes early, crashed through the wrong window though.
*As the exquisite stained glass window is magically repaired, the giant monkey calms down at last.*
Still can't think why he was after the vol-au-vents though...
*The memory suddenly returns.*
Oh yes, none of us eat it.
The answer my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
The same wind that we are just dust in.
*After eating most of the food at the buffet, all the monsters and villains have a lively dance.*
*Meanwhile, The when entertains itself by subjecting AM GOLD to cruel and horrible torture.*
Unholy Cats.
Its tomorrow already.
What did you do The when?
JULIETTE, YOU ARE *NOT* GOING TO MARRY THE DIRTY DANGLER!
I *AM* GOING TO MARRY THE DIRTY DANGLER!!!!
I admire your outspoken courage, Lady Blackmoor (may I call you Juliette?), but your mother is truly formidable.
Besides, she would much rather you marry Dark Specter or Lokar or Ivan Ooze.
Lady Blackmoor wrote: I *AM* GOING TO MARRY THE DIRTY DANGLER!!!! An early wedding present.
:Jambi arrives with a covered platter:
For you...
:Jambi lifts the lid to reveal an elegant crystal jar of GoatToucher Brand Industrial Grade Antibacterial Ointment: "For Your Most Sensitive (And Durable) Areas.":
Mazel Tov.
*Immediately becomes fearful of GoatToucher's presence and bows to him in veneration.*
*GoatToucher seems to ignore this however as he then demonstrates his ointment on the next poster.*
GoatToucher wrote: Lady Blackmoor wrote: I *AM* GOING TO MARRY THE DIRTY DANGLER!!!! An early wedding present.
:Jambi arrives with a covered platter:
For you...
:Jambi lifts the lid to reveal an elegant crystal jar of GoatToucher Brand Industrial Grade Antibacterial Ointment: "For Your Most Sensitive (And Durable) Areas.":
Mazel Tov. Todah!
What a considerate gift! I do wonder if the applicator device needs quite that many barbed hooks and rasps on it, though...
If you are curious enough, then feel free to ask. Still, I would advise caution.
Lady Blackmoor wrote:
Todah!
What a considerate gift! I do wonder if the applicator device needs quite that many barbed hooks and rasps on it, though... Need? You are thinking in quite the wrong direction, dear Lady.
Think not of what we need: Instead, think of what we can bear, in the proper circumstances.
In terms of GoatToucher Brand Antibacterial Ointment Applicators, the howls of torment let you know it's working.
Indeed, if nobody is longing for the sweet release of death, a release ever denied, until, like Tantalus, ever reaching, we despair of the comforting dream of oblivion...
Well... what are we even doing here?
*Once again bows to GoatToucher in fearful veneration.*
Lord Zedd: I believe, your greatness, we are just partying. Unless you were referring to something else...
Queen Bansheera: Speaking of, would you care for some refreshments? *Offers GoatToucher some food/drink.*
Mesogog: Perhaps your greatness, if we can incline you, you could bestow on us all your great wisdom.
Evox: Agreed on all accounts! In fact, if it pleases you, we have minions for you to utilise.
too slow. waaaay too slow.
Yes. Evox's minions failed to run away quickly enough, and are now being 'utilised' by GoatToucher. The howls of agony don't quite harmonise with my flugelhorn band, which is mildly off-putting.
That is because they are playing in B-Flat instead of C-Minor.
The NUAoE greatly fears GoatToucher, so they offer their minions in an attempt of appeasement.
So, the minions never failed to run away as they didn't have chance to.
All the same, I'm sorry that their screams of torment are off-putting.
No, no. That's the fairy in a flouncy dress with a comb in her hair who I'm accompanying.
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The same fairy GoatToucher sacrificed to the Outer Gods to give some other fairies new accordions?
*Shrugs.*
You have poor taste in arm candy, my friend.
*Notices something... odd... about Pulgco De Lucia's attire.*
Alright, why the kilt and why in fandango pink? You seem obsessed with that colour.
The final month of the Year of the Smurf.
Ain’t it Smurfy?
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NO!
Get out of here.
Fore!
hits little blue creep with 9 iron
watches at it flies into the garbage disposal
Hole in one!
There’s still a lot of days left. Just how smurfy it gets is up to you.
Count Reiner Heydrich wrote: The same fairy GoatToucher sacrificed to the Outer Gods to give some other fairies new accordions?
*Shrugs.*
You have poor taste in arm candy, my friend.
*Notices something... odd... about Pulgco De Lucia's attire.*
Alright, why the kilt and why in fandango pink? You seem obsessed with that colour.
It matches my eyes.
True, it does. Personally though, I find it better to match dark oak furniture with red silk carpets and curtains.
I just dye myself to ensure I harmonise with the décor.
While I brighten up any room.
Hence why Schism and I need to wear sunglasses all the time.
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Well, you always look sharp, wearing sunglasses after dark.
Kara-orc-y, actually. Pretty similar, only you have to mutilate yourself with an axe while screaming along to Cyndi Lauper.
Gnorcs just wanna have fun!
*Hacks the next poster to pieces*.
That's all they really want!
She’s a smurfy-ack, smurfy-ack, I know.
And she’s smurfing like she’s never smurfed before…
So,you guys do have the ability to sing whilst being hacked to pieces.
Pfft. That's not difficult.
King Mondo: don't get too carried away with the karaoke or hacking things to pieces everyone!
Astronoma: indeed, GoatToucher will be giving a demonstration soon.
Ransik: yes, and it's our monsters and minions that are going to be used.
Galvanax: let's face it, if anyone can make putties or cogs or whatever squeal, GoatToucher can.
Schism wrote: hack hack hack
Sounds like you need to take a PCR test.
Pulg wrote: Schism wrote: hack hack hack
Sounds like you need to take a PCR test. Or getting ready to burst into a rendition of Sweetleaf.
They introduced me to my mind.
To which, your mind promptly told you to get lost.
Truth be told, I'm pretty happy here. The rent's reasonable, and there are hot and cold running thoughts.
Wake up Mr. Grinch
You overslept.
You need to start working on this year's Christmas Mischief.
I have your workshop disorganized and the materials already spread everywhere for you.
*Grabs Schism by the hair, very hard.*
No need to shout, I'm already awake!
*Throws Schism 10 thousand miles away into a pile of accordions.*
And I actually work in a very organised environment!
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