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Pulg wrote:

Stop, stop - that's a mating call!

You think we didn't know that?


Well.

I'm impressed that you can keep playing the accordion while all this is going on, regardless.

Sovereign Court

*Is disgruntled by the mating call, being a male triceratops.*

*Begins looking for the rival male, only seeing fairies with accordions instead.*


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This should help.

:Jambi sallies forth with a small amber atomizer labeled "Lady-Triceratops Pheromones", spritzing PFAB with a generous dose:

We wouldn't want the beast to go tearing about the place, now would we?

Jambi, start recording...

Sovereign Court

*Enters a bloodlusted frenzy and bellows angrily.*

*Then proceeds to attack (and kill) Pulg's Fairy Accordion Band.*

*Continues to tear down the place, with Jambi getting excellent footage.*

*After destroying everything, resumes searching for a female triceratops.*

Sovereign Court

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I suppose we can expect some baby triceratops-accordions in due time then?


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Well, that was invigorating. And given that the Half-Accordion template is definitely a thing, yes, we should expect a Happy Event any time soon.


A wedding, a wedding!

O wait. Dinosaurs are treyf, and as for accordions....

Sovereign Court

*Becomes unnecessarily violent, due to being insulted.*

*Gives everyone a baleful glare to show full understanding that the triceratops is aware that Pulg's Fairy Accordion Band is not a female triceratops and that no intimate action was taken.*

*Then gives a loud grunt to show being generally annoyed.*


It was all a dream. No more cheese before bedtime for us!

Sovereign Court

Yeah, I heard that eating cheese before bedtime also causes hand spasms the next morning.

Which would explain why you guys have trouble playing your accordions first thing.


Now that that problem has been solved, back to practicing.

Sovereign Court

Squaak! The tricaccordion’s forequarters rush forward. Wheeze! The peculiar flexible beast’s hindquarters rush to follow up, producing a strange, off tune musical bellow.

“Nope, don’t think it was a dream. Maybe a nightmare, but it ain’t over yet…


THIS IS GREAT!

Exactly what we need to shake up a torpid and hidebound new music scene! Sir, Madam, Mar, Sidam, however you wish to be addressed, I wish to add you to my pan-galactical musical tyranny. Kindly sign here and put on this shiny jacket and wig and we will have you on Top Of The Pops in no time.

Sovereign Court

From one tyrant to another, I advise you to abandon this course, it won't end well.

Beyond that, I think we should stop raiding IHIYC's closet, all that "goofy juice" we keep drinking isn't good for us (it has such phenomenal and chaotic properties that only a being with a truly unhinged mind - GoatToucher or IHIYC - could tolerate it, besides, it's just plain unhealthy for you).

Sovereign Court

And so came to be: A Yoko Ono Sunshine Turnip Musical Extravaganza!


Not only that, it is bin collection day!


A BINNY BIN BIN! A BINNY BIN BIN! A BINNY BIN BIN BIN BEEEEN!!

{Activates Yoko Turnip mode, howling vacantly while painting a combine harvester white, all in the name of Art}


Shoves all the accordions into the trash bin.

Come and get it bin collector.

Sovereign Court

Uh, Schism? You do know just where the trash goes, right?


Goodness golly gee McGee, why are all the bin-men screaming and running away?


The triceraccordions are hatching, the triceraccordions are hatching!

Sovereign Court

Or maybe, crazy idea, Pulg just trumped.

Sovereign Court

Thought I had me the win there. Drat! Now I have to start over.


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
Or maybe, crazy idea, Pulg just trumped.

What, are we in Amber now?


Mr. Grinch wrote:
Uh, Schism? You do know just where the trash goes, right?

Aren't those the burial at sea bins?

Sovereign Court

Pulg, this has nothing to do with colours, as the Count believes you've just farted!

Oh, and Schism, the trash goes to Mt. Crumpet (where we live)!


How can one fart without internal organs?


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And then ye Prophet went up onto Mount Crumpet, and there he heard a mighty thundering like unto the war-drums of an great host, and a blast of hot wind that bent the trees and made the rocks to skip about like young lambs, and the stench of sulphur and brimstone. Sayeth he unto the LORD, LORD, was that you? And the LORD replieth, He that smelled it, dealt it. Unto this answered ye Prophet, He who said the rhyme, did the crime, after which the LORD smote him lustily with a leven-bolt, then went off to deal with GoatToucher's Sodom and Gomorrah Reenactment Society.

Sovereign Court

*Stands atop Mt. Crumpet, inhales deeply.*

What a most glorious stench! How about you, Schism, care to take a good whiff?

*Does not get a response, as Schism sees all the accordions arrive at the dump.*

Told you, now didn't I?


Public Safety Annunciation wrote:
... the LORD smote him lustily with a leven-bolt, then went off to deal with GoatToucher's Sodom and Gomorrah Reenactment Society.

And a fine time was had by all...


With smurfs!


Boss, since all our accordions have been disposed of as hazardous waste, will we get new ones?


Certainly! I say, those little blue chaps up there could be easily adapted for our purposes...


Mr. Grinch wrote:

*Does not get a response, as Schism sees all the accordions arrive at the dump.*

Told you, now didn't I?

No!

Runs and hides in her hole.

Sovereign Court

*Pulls Schism out of her hole.*

Now don't try and run away! Besides, you've got little blue creeps to catch!

*Looks at Schism firmly.*

I've convinced Pulg to pay us a penny for each little blue creep caught, so go to it!


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A Hunting I will go,
A Hunting I will go,
Hi-Ho the Derio,
A Hunting I will go.


Yep, Derros are fine too. Anything small, blue and mentally unstable will serve, to be honest.


Does getting help from the Count count?


Vampire smurfs? That reeks of Armageddon.

;)


Luckily it is the exchange of blood and not just the bite that transforms someone into a vampire.

Sovereign Court

So you were paying attention in my classes.

I was worried that I'd have to make you repeat the entire semester.


I never knew you taught at Monster High, Count.


He was a very strict disciplinarian.

Sovereign Court

@Pulg: How else did you think I could run my own school without any prior experience?

@Vampire Schism: I was only very strict with you, daughter!


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I understand you couldn't show favoritism, that was why I didn't complain.


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

So you were paying attention in my classes.

I was worried that I'd have to make you repeat the entire semester.

Hey hey, I can do that easy.

'The entire semester'

There ya go! Ahoohoohoohoo!!!

Sovereign Court

Alright Vampire Schism, I have a special assignment for you.

*Points to Chuck Les.*

I want you to demonstrate the proper way to to rip out someone's tongue in the most uncomfortable manner possible. You get extra credit if you also explain your presentation at the same time.


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Knocks Chuck Les unconscious and ties him to a chair.
Splashes him with ice cold water to wake him up.

First, you insert the mouth spreader and open the mouth half an inch wider than the person normally can.
Second, you take the barbed pliers and slowly squeeze them around the tongue.
Third, censored
Fourth, censored
Fifth, censored

And that is the proper way.

Sovereign Court

Marvellous work, my daughter! That's a top grade for you.

*Presents highest reward to Vampire Schism.*

The only way to improve your performance would be by using the GoatToucher technique.

*Writes a few things down on a piece of paper.*

But, that was not necessary, what you did was exemplary enough.

*Hands the piece of paper to Vampire Schism.*

For your next assignment, I want you to collect data on the Power Rangers universe.

*Looks firmly at Vampire Schism whilst tapping the piece of paper.*

Remember to follow the instructions exactly:

1) List all known and current Power Rangers
2) Gather Intel on the origin of Power Rangers and source(s) of power
3) Document all known and current allies/enemies
4) Study the locations, time periods, etc.

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