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Ouchie. Feeling smushed.

Sovereign Court

Try not to talk right now, as you keep deflating every time you open your mouth.

*Quickens the pace that I'm operating the balloon pump.*

Should of done this earlier!

*After a few minutes, Schism is now completely inflated (but now actually looking like a balloon).*

Oops! Went a little too far. No matter, easily fixable!

*Pulls out the nozzle from Schism's mouth, allowing the ever hilarious balloon antic to happen before returning to the ground, safe and back to normal. Meanwhile, Dedrick encases Captain Danger Bear in a laminate coating.*


Never use laminate coating unless you have been certified.


Beep Beep

*Zoom

Sovereign Court

*Turns to the next poster.*

Do you want to issue the speeding ticket? Because I won't be able to catch up with the bird.


Doom was just going to annihilate a large area of the desert with the Satellite laser.

Sovereign Court

Good plan, I'd like to see Beep Beep outrun something like that.


Always wear goggles while operating space lasers.

Sovereign Court

*Sadly, a great disaster was in store for Safety Cat, as being laminated also made him slippery.*

Be careful now, walk as slowly as you possibly can, otherwise...

*Unfortunately, the warning comes too late as Safety Cat slips and causes a lot of damage.*


Sometimes the only way to be sure is to nuke the planet from space.


Use nuclear devices. Never.


You've never used one? You're missing out.

Sovereign Court

Nukes do help get the job done, unless you want to conquer the planet and not destroy it.

Also, are we just going to ignore all of that!

*Points to all the damage that Safety Cat has (accidentally) caused.*

Because I'll tell you now, I'm not clearing it up!


Good housekeeping is a critical component of any safety program.

Sovereign Court

Don't worry everyone, I'll take care of all this!

*Has a vast array of cleaning vehicles gather all of the wreckage and clear it away.*

There, you see, I told you that I would take care of it!

Oh, and just one more thing...

*Actives a large stink bomb (created from dead flowers, expired valentine's chocolate and cheap perfume), resulting in a large pink coloured gas cloud stretching out and making everyone nauseous (except for me of course).*

Happy valentine's Day everyone!


So, the next Mars Rover built at JPL lands on Mars this Thursday afternoon (18th).
It will hit the top of the Martian atmosphere going v=48,144mph and has a time to impact,
I mean time to landing, of 7 minutes. So, what kind of average acceleration will it under go?


*YYYAAAAAAWWWNNN* no that is all.

Sovereign Court

*Fires a tactical missile into space, destroying the Mars Rover.*

Yes, I got it!

*Looks around at everyone, starts to get a bad feeling.*

Oh, I'm sorry, were all of you wanting it to land and not get destroyed?


Beep Beep!


Smurf.


Smurf it is.

Sovereign Court

But what I want to know is, why?


It's that or Care Bears.


Whee!
Snow!

Sovereign Court

Actually, that's just ash from the Rover when Dedrick went and blew it up!

Hang on, what are you doing on Mars? Get back here this instant!


Release your inner smurf. You know you want to.

Sovereign Court

The last time someone did that, Dr Wily went berserk!

He really hates the little pests, but they seem to be the lastest fashion trend, so...

*Shrugs.*

What can you do?


Mr. Grinch wrote:

Actually, that's just ash from the Rover when Dedrick went and blew it up!

Hang on, what are you doing on Mars? Get back here this instant!

Mars needs women.

Sovereign Court

And I need a lackey friend, with whom I can enact my evil endeavours with!


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To self. - Geez, try to sneak a little time off where nobody would think to look and I'm found out immediately.

Coming Boss. Be back on Friday.

Sovereign Court

Elvis needs boats.

Sovereign Court

*Feels a disgusting twinge of sympathy.*

Take the rest of the month off, Schism, you deserve it.

*Grabs The When and throws it to Timemaster7.*

Just make sure to be back by early March, we've got work to do for St. Patrick's Day after all.

Sovereign Court

*Meanwhile, a large gladiatorial arena is being built, courtesy of Pulg's Fairy Construction Crew.*

Let's see how things are coming along, shall we?

*An evil looking figure inspects the work and is pleased with the progress so far.*

Excellent, once the arena is completed, the fun will truly begin!

*Starts chuckling to himself, only to notice the other posters are looking on in confusion.*

Oh! Please ignore what's going on everyone, nothing to see here for the time being!

*As the crowd starts to dissipate, a construction fairy approaches with some important documents.*

Hmm? Ah yes, the necessary paperwork for the parts and labour, I'll just sign it now.

*Signs the paperwork.*

Carry on, your payment will arrive once the work is done.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mr. Grinch wrote:

*Feels a disgusting twinge of sympathy.*

Take the rest of the month off, Schism, you deserve it.

*Grabs The When and throws it to Timemaster7.*

Just make sure to be back by early March, we've got work to do for St. Patrick's Day after all.

Thank you Boss.


Hold on - my fairies make nothing but beautiful music...

Sovereign Court

You're very welcome, Schism, have fun now!

*Turns to Pulg.*

If you remember correctly, these were the fairies who didn't make the cut so, you repurposed them.

*Shrugs and then walks away.*

Sovereign Court

Mars needs rovers.

Silly grinch. All beings that apply to Pulg’s various musical ensembles make the cut.

Sovereign Court

And just how do you know that exactly? Besides...

It's a little known fact that they're not actual fairies, hence why they can't play musical instruments.

Sovereign Court

Simple logic. Rovers are sent, so rovers must be needed.
Also, he (Elvis, not Pulg) told me.


How do you know we're not one and the same?


Elvis did not have a beard as magnificent as yours.


He does now.

Sovereign Court

So tell us, did you die or go back home or die whilst going home?


19 smurf.


20 smurf.

Sovereign Court

Of all the things that are ever popular, I would never think it'd be the little blue people.

Mind you, I hear that green is going to be all the rage come March.


Green is the new smurf?


Smurf will always be the new smurf.

Sovereign Court

Not if I have something to say about it!

*Laughs manically whilst going on a killing spree.*

Sovereign Court

That guy puts a certain giant monkey to shame, right?

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