Last one to post wins

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He could make a goblin deviant for GoatToucher.

You can never have too many, after all.

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Isn't a goattoucher a goblin racial weapon? You know, like a dogslicer or horsechopper?

If GoatToucher is the one giving advice, it is never worth listening to...

Scarab Sages

Nonsense. NOBODY knows more about proper stain removal than he does.

except he usually doesn't bother removing the stains...

He claims you can only see the stains under a black light... whatever that means.

Someday I'll show you.

As for the veracity of my advice, I can often be heard telling people "I wouldn't drink that if I were you." or "You shouldn't put that in your mouth." but they never listen...

Which is when the fun begins.

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'The Fun Begins At GoatToucher's End', as the famous slogan goes.

As usual only I remain focused of winning. It always takes a gnome !

No, the rest of us just don't vocalize our desires to win, as we find it more humorous to discuss non-sequiturs.

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*Unloads hundreds of assorted dinosaurs escorted by druids and rangers of a variety of sentient species, with the more dangerous ones collared and attended by golemech handlers. And one gargantuan, reinforced, force-caged crate covered with warning labels depicting various species being violently devoured.*

Alright, we're going to need somebody to sign for these. And make sure you're really careful with Bloodfang. He's officially your responsibility now if he breaks free and eats someone.

*Crate shakes violently, force-cage indicators momentarily flicker*

Sovereign Court

I'll handle the paperwork, thanks again for your support.

*Signs all of the necessary documents.*

OK everyone, it's time to begin quarantine.

*Worgen from the Red Fury Clan, orcs from the White claw Clan and various individuals from the Grizzlepaw Clan (along with some storm giants) in full armour quickly rush in and sedate all the dinosaurs (especially Bloodfang), then comes the decontamination process followed by the application of the collars of obedience and finally the dinosaurs get put into the appropriate enclosures.*

Now that that's done, I focus on a few less dangerous animals. Let's start with...

*Gets given a document.*

Hello, what's this?

*Reads the document.*

So, those Grey Maidens finally came up with a name for themselves. They call themselves the Order of the Burning Rose (I think I will call them the Burning Rose Clan) and the emblem that they are using is a red rose surrounded by a golden flame on a grey background. And apparently they wish to serve solely as bodyguards to the Red Fury Clan. Cool, sounds OK to me.

Gnomes with knobby knees, gnawing gnarly knives.

Back in the running.

That amount of hair makes you very unaerodynamic, though. Trust me - I've been there.

That is why you trip your competitors as they attempt to run by you *readies action to trip*

You should know that not everything can be tripped. You may want to get some healing for that foot I just adsorbed.

I can heal it. I am a healer after all.

Not all injuries can be healed.

Not all harm is of the body.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Body, mind or soul. Everything can be healed.

Sometimes the issue is they do not want to be healed.
Trying not to look at GoatToucher.

Does GoatToucher need to be healed?
Where is his problem? I can help.

I can help you to help him help himself.

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I think GoatToucher's fondness for 'helping himself' is part of the problem, to be honest.

Yes. Help me.

I can show you the source of pain...

(Drops a sh!tload of bricks onto Goatgroper)

He disabled now? He not harm other people?

O_o' ??

That will not work. Even black holes reject him.


(Hurries away to get a kiloton of TNT to work with, instead of bricks)

Poog, I even doused the man - if you can call such horror "man" - in holy water, stabbed him through the heart, and had a puppet slice his head off!! It is best to just ignore him as best you can...

Time wounds all heels.

>.> I wasn't using that foot anyways.

I think I could remove his corruption. But I'd have to replace all of him for a pinecone. And I don't have any pinecone that is big enough. So I'm clueless about what to do with him.

Dark Archive

Is that your solution for everything?

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There's not much I can do aside from that. It's already a miracle that I am actually a thing.

replacing a whole person with a pine cone... what do you even do with the non-pinecone parts?

Nothing. I just replace him. I never worry about what happened to the discarded parts.

yeah not even gonna need ninja mode for this one.


The issue with replacing all of him with a pinecone is that, well, it just doesn't kill him.
I do suspect that we will have to wait out his natural lifespan though.

What doesn't kill me, only makes me pinecone(er)?

But if you, like, replace him with a pinecone, man, is he, like, still the same guy? And what if, like, you only replace part of someone with a pinecone? How many pinecones till they're no longer, like, who they were? And then, like, the pinecones themselves are always being replaced by atoms and stuff...

Think about it.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yeah, Doctor Who asked the same question, an interesting one to be sure, but one which ultimately boils down to one's belief on the soul. Is your body all that you are, or is there something else which cannot be replaced? I personally, as a christian, (please, before anyone begins to get heated on that, keep this thread free of arguments on it, while I am willing to discuss such a topic, I think most people would agree that this is hardly the place to discuss it) believe in a soul, an immortal spirit, which is more than the physical body, and as such, also believe, that any amount of someone could be replaced with something else and that person would continue being that person. I can also see the arguments going the otherway, and sympathize with that belief as well.

You have brought a very interesting argument here. I'm not giving my opinion as, same as you, don't want to start an argument here, but I like to read your reflexions about that.
I am not a believer, but I enjoy such existentialist reflexions as I have had them so many times.

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It all boils down to this:

We are both pinecone and crumhorn; is it possible to separate the pinecone from the crumhorn? Does the crumhorn derive from the pinecone, or vice versa? Can one exist without the other? Are you, essentially, your pinecone, or your crumhorn?

And where does laundry detergent fit in to this whole schema?

PS: I win.

PPS: Forever

PPPS: And ever and ever

You'll BEEEEEE my spreeng!!!!

I bash you all on the head with a wet sock loaded with cantaloupes, and I win. Bwhahahaha !

I am the Gnome King
Wanton violence is my thing
I stab, I sting
Your pain doesn't mean a ping !

You're all still astounded by my win, aren't you ?

Good, good.

I am astounded by having started all this pinecone reflexions.

I didn't know my pinecones were thought-inducting.

How dare you ?
Did you know that pinecones are highly flammable ?

I don't want to start a flame war.
I'd lose.

Gobbos Always win flaming war!! We'se very goods at it.

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