Last one to post wins


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Imagine all the people remembering delighterrible things being done to them by a red velvet cake, or a pecan pie, or a loaf of pumpernickel. How wonderful!

Time to make some new memories though. Private Tiny, be a dear and get that five gallon drum of pork gravy from the "Workroom", and bring the fanciest ladle you can find!


Private Tiny is AWOL, good for him.


* casts Glamor of the First World upon everyone present, cloaking GoatToucher's actions in pleasant illusions that target all senses and hide his actions in things unrelated to what he does*

There, that should make things more pleasant for everyone here.

I have another batch of pineapple-upside down cake, home-made ice cream, and lemonade for everyone. Please help yourselves.

Oh, I'm Hiding In Your Closet, I found this squirting flower and joy buzzer - each is engraved with the letters IHIYC. Do they belong to you?

Cluny, Tiny is AWOL? Is everything ok?

Scarab Sages

Those second-rate imitations? Hardly - I'm pretty sure they belong to the Israeli Hassidic Illuminati Youth Coalition. One of them was here for some reason earlier.


Cluny the Scourge wrote:

Private Tiny is AWOL, good for him.

Yeah seems the browser at work and Paizo's new security feature aren't compatible. My boss is happy about this, me not so much.

Sovereign Court

WHO said that I was happy about this? Because I'm not! Still, it's good to see you again PT.

Ah, more delectable treats, thanks GW. I should warn you though, the Burning Bone Clan intend to 'make up for lost time'.


STUPID OUTDATED WORK BROWSERS!!!!


This thread is grotesque! I smite it!

Scarab Sages

Don't do that. It'll just smite back....


Avatar, no need to worry - I have plenty.

IHIYC, oh no, I wasn't referring to those cheap knockoffs. I was referring to there.

* Shows IHIYC the first Joy Buzzer and the first Squirting Flower *

I thought that such fun tricks could only be your creation.


The Vicious Chicken of Bristol wrote:
Count down all you want, you'll never win.

You're not so cocky now, are you ?

Over the remnants of my enemies, I claim the win !

Sovereign Court

Rise up, my mighty Horde! Bring your warchief...

*Points at Quiche Lisp.*

HIS head!


Marlon Brando would approve.

So do i.


:the assembled begin to have all manner of wonderful things happen involving ponies, cake, and neck rubs, and all in perfectly savory and appropriate ways. Yet over time, they begin to become ill. Visiting the healer, they discover all sorts of physical maladies, ruptures, tears, prolapses, diseases, ingestion of unwholesome substances and, in several occurrences, the branding of the letters "GT" on their flanks:

:nobody has any memory of anything happening that could have cause these horrible and intimate injuries, and, indeed, remember only fortunate and pleasant events. Many share a memory of being in a room covered in candy and gumdrops where beautiful fairies danced across their skin.:

:it's as if some sort of phantom moves among them. Invisible, malign, and with the ability to perform all manner of atrocities absent of any resistance or repercussions. He holds godlike power over them, his every move masked from their knowing by powerful magics of sunshine and happiness, but the physical results all too real:


:for example, nobody has the correct amount of testicles any longer. They either have too many or too few in a variety of numeric combinations. The only thing more unsettling than this physical reality is the knowledge that it happened without anyone knowing, including the victims. Now, every pleasant sensation is suspect. It is real, or an illusion masking the twisted depredations of an Unknowable Entity? Every pleasant meal, every lover's caress, the smile of every child might be hiding something terrible:

:The not knowing is enough to drive you mad.:


Poor, poor GoatToucher - he has gone totally delusional. He fails to realize that the magics I weave shield us from his actions. All he is doing is messing with illusions I have created for him and him alone to keep him distracted.

* reaches into coat pocket and pulls out The Win *

Hmmm.... I thought I placed this on the table as a centerpiece.

* looks toward treat table *

I guess I forgot.

* places The Win in the center of the table *


Nobody ever said they were -your- magics, Old Man.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

What a strange breeze blowing. It almost sounds like words.

* pours a glass of lemonade and cuts a piece of pineapple upside-down cake and tops the cake with a scoop of ice cream *


Chocolate Chip ice cream, of course.


Chocolate chip cookies.

Sovereign Court

Members of the Horde, commence with rampant (but, respectful)FCE scoffing! Yes, I'm looking at you lot!

*Looks at the Lightning's Blade Clan, Burning Bone Clan and (especially) the Engorging Maw Clan, whose members include VERY gluttonous folk.*


I simply win, and you all lose.

Not everything has to be complicated.


You are right, nothing is complicated when I am winning.


Squeak! *nests next to the warm plate of cookies on the coffee table*

Scarab Sages

Grandpa Wonderbra wrote:

* Shows IHIYC the first Joy Buzzer and the first Squirting Flower *

I thought that such fun tricks could only be your creation.

Umm...sure. Why not? *adds to inventory*

+Use JOY BUZZER on SQUIRTING FLOWER+

*whoosh*

'I now have the FRANKENSTEIN'S FLOWER.'


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Grandpa Wonderbra wrote:

* Shows IHIYC the first Joy Buzzer and the first Squirting Flower *

I thought that such fun tricks could only be your creation.

Umm...sure. Why not? *adds to inventory*

+Use JOY BUZZER on SQUIRTING FLOWER+

*whoosh*

'I now have the FRANKENSTEIN'S FLOWER.'

* tents fingers a-la Mr. Burns *

Excellent!

Sovereign Court

Warriors of the Horde! It is time to expand once more. This time however, we need to send three clans to the Searing Crater and set up a steelworks foundry. Forge weapons and armour of unimaginable strength and champions that are even stronger. I will remain in Everbloom Jungle, indefinitely, as the primordial energies of the flora and fauna need to be investigated and harnessed. Also, I require a fourth clan to go to Snapperbark Forest for lumber (a sawmill will need to be set up), take caution for the biggest threat in Snapperbark Forest isn't the with population, but the vicious, carnivorous trees themselves.

Sovereign Court

Worg* not with.


:addresses the Horde:

This is what awaits you all if you find victory!

:does a mostly-nude and liberally-oiled erotic dance to 'inspire" the Horde:

:the dance lasts some time:


Don't know about the horde, but I woofed my cookies; and that is quite a feat for a ghost.


AHHHHH MY EYES!!!!! SOMEONE TAKE EM I DON'T WANTTHEM ANYMORE!!!!

Scarab Sages

Don't mind if I do. *extracts Message board troll's eyes with salad tongs, skewers them on a long toothpick, puts it in appletini, takes a sip*

Hey, I think I just got some temporary hit points!


I just looked, you are not there.


Derp?


:nods sagely: Derp.


Meep?


Reek!


Doctor.

Scarab Sages

Rocky!


MCCLOUD!!!

Liberty's Edge

*BEEP!*


*SHANK*


*GRAB*

Sovereign Court

I hunt - and kill - for sport and honour!

(What? Didn't you guys know that I am also the Predator?)


:INSERT:


That's it! Everyone line up for your sanity test as administered by GoatToucher.....

Scarab Sages

*gets in the back of Cthulhu's unmarked van and slams the door shut*

Let's get the hell out of here!


:calls out as the van speeds away:

But wait! I have such wonderful things to show you!


*Hides at the very end of the line.*


Has it dawned on anyone that GT might be a foreman for a Cthulu front?

Suffering and madness and all....

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