...the players keep threatening to cornhole captives.
....if being stuck in the winderness sparks a serious discussion on how to ration your chaw, snuff, or both.
....if every game session begins with your friends showing up with a case of PBR each and ends with a fist fight.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
...your barbarian's battle cry is "GET-R-DONE!"
...the players keep threatening to cornhole captives.
Lemme hear ya squeal like a pig, boy!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
...All the PC's have 2 first names....Billy Bob...Mary Sue...etc.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
When the player's battle cry is "Roll Tide!"
You play in a game with a character whose honest-to-God name is Boon Clansman. Happened to me.
The PCs climb into their '77 Dodge Charger through the windows because the doors are welded shut.
When you go to buy horses, your Ranger asks if they have a HEMI.
You hang Truck Nutz from your armor's codpiece.
Your saddlebags have a silver nude wench silhouette.
The Paladin has a "What Would Iomedae Do?" rumpersticker on his mount.
The magic banner is a flag of the confederacy.
The temple of Iomedae has a spittoon next to the altar.
You know you're playing with rednecks if...
You use a red solo cup in place of a normal cup for everything. Including dice rolling.
You're playing at a waffle house.
You're playing in the bed of someone's truck in a WalMart parking lot.
Your dad's character and your sister's character are romantically involved.
Any of the characters gain a deflection bonus to their ac because of their beard.
The party's alchemist got everyone addicted to meth.
Control weather spells always result in tornadoes.
The campaign is called The War of Astral Aggression, and puts the party in the middle of an ongoing battle between the githyanki and the gith-rebels.
At first, I was :-|
But then I was :-D
Anyways....
- When your coin pouch is on a chain, and your animal companion isn't.
- If you've mowed your lawn and found a dragon's lair.
- If Goblins say you smell bad.
- You can open a beer bottle with your pointed ears. Five different ways.
- Your Alchemist extracts are in chaw form.
- Your bardic preformance involves crushing beer cans on your forehead.
- You cast fireballs by lighting your farts.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
At least one players gear is composed of mostly 'as seen on tv' items.
You buy Iron Rations with food stamps.
Owlbear liver squeezins is 100 proof and heals 1-4 damage. It's made in a still from any monster's liver.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
The witch class has a pre-requisite of: "Must be a mother-in-law"
.... You're at Captain Yesterdays place, hope Y'all like Homemade Rut Beer and Bratwurst cause we are gone git it done!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
When wizards got all that fancy book lernin' and use a gold piece word when a copper piece word would do!
You know you're playing a in a redneck game when....
Your horse gets repo'd.
Your donkey also got repo'd.
Tinker Gnomes make magical scooters for overweight NPC's. And PC's.
At least one player can drink a clan of dwarves under the table.
Moomoo's count as light armor.
Your players don't understand why slavery is considered evil.
..... There's never enough Milwaukee's Best for everyone
..... You have to chase the poultry out of the Barn before you can play
..... The Poultry chase you out of the Barn
..... "Nobody's playing a G$@%+#n thing till yer chores are done!" is yelled before every game
For figures you use beer caps, live rats, dead chiggers, and mispainted hummels.
Your best skill is Craft (Moonshine).
And it's somehow twice your own level.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The Ranger's Favored Enemies are "Varmints" and "Humanoid: Gub'mint Man".
An artifact is the tent of glory wherein a charismatic priest can raise the dead in front of 100 witnesses.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The Eliminster of the game is a gent in a white robes and has a pillow case with eye hoes cut out as his raiment of power.
There are actual feral children you can cite as examples..you just have to call them in from the yard.
The PC's have five horses that don't move, and one longhouse on wheels that does.
White lightnin is a spell component for casting lightning bolt.
All crossbows fire buck shot, even though there is no such things as a "buck shot quarrel."
Every last missile weapon in the game is somehow pump action.
The PC's refer to anyone with more than two skill points as "high faluttin' yanks"
The party cavalier's banner is a flag with a snake on it, which reads "Don't Tread on Me"
The GM allows players to make attacks of opportunity by spitting tobacco juice at ones foes.
They have no problem with making non Oracles proceed at half the level if similarly cursed. They keep saying "Jim Crow is Back!" when making these rulings.