Judges, Please Critique My Item

RPG Superstar™ 2011 General Discussion

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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32 aka Hydro

Lucas Jung wrote:

It never goes dormant. I'm really not sure where you got that from.

I think it was here.

. . . after which it curls up dead. During this time, the fly has no magical aura and . . .

"This time" is left kind of open, and I naturally read it as referring to that most recently mentioned time (the time that it is dead).

And after this point I assume that there is a dead fly with no magical aura, so when you say "the dead fly regains its magical aura", it starts to look like its life-and-death-as-a-fly has a third stage somehow (though I now know you meant "the fly regains its magical aura as soon as it becomes dead").

Proofreaders catch ambiguities like this all the time; as the original author you see the words through the lens of your intent, and it's almost impossible to catch things like this.

Sun of Valor
Aura moderate evocation, faint enchantment; CL 6th
Slot -; Price 15,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
This item appears as a small golden disc resembling a miniature Sun one foot in diameter. It can be activated once per day by speaking the command word. The item remains active for 12 hours and cannot be deactivated.
An active Sun of Valor follows its owner, floating up to 6 feet above the ground. It emits a comforting bright light in a 60-foot radius, providing all creatures in the area with a +4 circumstance bonus to saving throws against fear.
The true power of the Sun of Valor becomes apparent around a Paladin or a Cleric who can Channel Positive Energy. Channeling Positive Energy within 60 feet of the Sun of Valor causes it to shine with exceptionally bright light that blinds all creatures within 60 feet for 1d6 rounds if they fail a DC 15 Fortitude save. Each use of this ability reduces the item’s daily duration by 4 hours. Channelers with a way, such as the Selective Channeling feat, to exclude creatures from channeling effects can use it to exclude creatures from the blinding effect.
The Sun of Valor encourages bravery. Should the owner avoid heading towards any potentially hostile creature he is aware of within 300 feet, after 3 rounds the Sun of Valor will begin moving towards the closest such creature on its own in the most direct path possible at a speed of 30 feet per round, while shining 120-foot long beams of light both towards its owner and in the direction of the potentially hostile creature. It can be attacked and has a hardness of 8 and 30 hit points.

Requirements blindness/deafness, daylight, remove fear, channel positive energy ability; Cost 7,750 gp

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Re: Bracers of the Kraken

Thanks for your thoughts Nicholas, I appreciate the effort. A few things seem clear in the light of your critique that (obviously!) didn't when I submitted the item. Valuable lessons, and I thank you for them.

Nicholas Quimby wrote:
The bit about 'occupying intervening squares' opens a can of worms. Nothing else does that, least of all actual krakens.

Yeah--I was trying to head off an imagined judges' response of "so what happens if the wearer tries to grapple someone--and then pin them--and then tie them up, over the course of three rounds? Where do the wearer's arms end up? Someone can't just walk through the area where the arms are, surely...?" The item opened the can of worms, I was trying to (partially) close it with that sentence. Whether the item should have opened that can in the first place is a whole different question! If anyone has specific thoughts on that I would appreciate it.

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32 aka Hydro

cynarion wrote:
"so what happens if the wearer tries to grapple someone--and then pin them--and then tie them up, over the course of three rounds? Where do the wearer's arms end up? Someone can't just walk through the area where the arms are, surely...?"

Someone already thought of that:

Pathfinder PRD wrote:
If you successfully grapple a creature that is not adjacent to you, move that creature to an adjacent open space (if no space is available, your grapple fails)

I always try to re-read the ground rules for everything remotely related to a new item. You might feel like you already know them, but it can save you a lot of trouble.

Anyway, I'm glad that helped, and I'm sure the real judges will get to page 2 some day. ;)

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Thank you for the feedback.

The Blooded Stone of Brotherhood
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 12
Slot - ; Price 115,500 gp; Weight 3lb.

“We bleed as one. We fight as one. We live as one!” – is the oath that seeps into the minds of all who use the stone. The stone is white marble with dark red veins running throughout. It is the size of a large fist; one side is jagged while the other appears to be smooth and worked, suggesting that it was at one time part of a larger object. The white marble of the stone turns blood red when in use.

To gain the benefits of the stone a character must cut themselves on the rock taking 1 point of Con damage allowing them to use the stone’s powers for a day. Restoring the Con damage immediately severs the link to the stone. A minimum of 2 characters need to be bonded to the stone for anyone to gain the benefits of the stone with a limit of 5 characters.

Characters attacking the same foe gain a +1 to damage rolls.

Characters automatically become stable if hit points drop below 0 (but not if the damage is enough to kill the user). Characters are immune to hit point damage caused by bleeding effects.

Any healing applied to a user in excess of the character’s hit point maximum is stored in the stone up to 50 HP. Once a round a character can use the stored hit points to heal his wounds as a free action. At the end of every round the stored hit points decay at a rate of -1 HP.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic weapon, heal; Cost 57,750 gp

Crystalline Orb of the Sun and Moon
Aura faint evocation CL 5th
Slot —; Price 6000 gp; Weight 4 lbs
This clear crystal orb is the size of a large apple and is accompanied by a small lightproof pouch. Speaking the word “moon” and brandishing the orb, within the radius of magical darkness effects of third level or lower, allows the orb to absorb the darkness into itself. This causes all effects absorbed to change their target so that it is as if the original target of the effects was the orb. Speaking the word “sun” does the same, except the orb absorbs light spells instead. In the case of permanent magical light sources, such as continual flames and some magical weapons, the light is absorbed for 1d4 rounds, and then returned to its original source.
The orb appears to be a miniature sun if absorbing light, and a moon if absorbing darkness. Although this does not give off illumination, it does make the orb visible in any type of illumination or darkness. The orb cannot be used again until all absorbed spell durations have ended. If the orb is destroyed then the spells return to their original targets. By uttering the word “extinguish”, the user may end the absorbed spells prematurely; however, doing so causes the orb to break.
The Orb has AC 13, 8 hit points, hardness 3, and a break DC of 15.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Daylight, Deeper Darkness; Cost 3000 gp

Thanks in advance for the feedback!

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Wicht wrote:

The Lantern of The Illumined Walk

First! Woot. Do I get a prize? :P

Yes, your prize is you get my very firs unofficial critique.

I'm not a judge this year, so I can't say if the judges shared my view.

This falls into "home campaign item" for me. Not to say it is, but it shares properties with that type of an entry.

Its abusable and not well thought through in many respects. The biggest question I have is what can you do with that light beam? Can you break it? Can you use it as a weapon? Solid object, what about striking a solid creature or an incorporeal creature? Can you use it as a battering ram? This thing needs some game stats you dont provide.

Clearly it is designed ot be a portable bridge, and a cool one at that. Great name. Fun item. I just dont think you thought it through all they way. I also dont know about the cost.

I would have kept this but had concerns and this would likely have inspired a long judicial debate.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

Asmodean Signet
Aura Faint Divination; CL 3rd
Slot Neck; Price 6500 gp; Weight 0,1 lbs.
The silver filigree of this amulet wraps itself around a red ruby, engraved with the symbols of the 8 Lords of Hell, surrounding a 9th symbol, that of Asmodeus himself. Below these symbols, the rune of House Thrune is barely visible, as a faint shadow, combining the above symbols into one.
The Amulet itself is slightly warm to the touch, reminiscent of the hellfire that awaits any who bind themselves to Hell.

The Asmodean Signet allows you to cast Comprehend Languages 3 times per day. Any devil that it is used upon automatically starts at an indifferent attitude if they would start off worse for the purpose of Diplomacy related checks, to signify the contract struck between Hell and the House of Thrune.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Comprehend languages; Cost 3250 gp

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Nicolas Quimby wrote:
Pathfinder PRD wrote:
If you successfully grapple a creature that is not adjacent to you, move that creature to an adjacent open space (if no space is available, your grapple fails)

<facepalm> I suspected I'd overcomplicated myself into a knot, I obviously just didn't know how much. More valuable lessons! Thanks.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Lachlan Rocksoul wrote:

Ok. I didnt think I'd get through with my first year entry. So I am ready for some brutal honesty to prepare for next year.

Ship in a bottle
Aura strong transmutation; CL 8th
Slot -; Price 2,500gp (rowboat), 8,400gp (keelboat), 22,400gp(long ship or sailing ship), 52,400gp (warship), 62,400gp (galley); Weight 1lb
The first ship in a bottle was created by a great wizard for the admiral of the royal navy when he retired, along with his warship. Many variations of it have been created since then.
The ship in a bottle looks just like a normal, clear, 2 inch thick, glass bottle capable of holding about 1 gallon of liquid. But, inside the corked bottle is a tiny ship sitting upon wooden supports. Anyone giving it a cursory glance will see a tiny model of a ship with amazing detail (sometimes even having barnacles on its hull).
Handling the bottle in any way will allow the handler to see that the ship does not move within the bottle no matter the amount of shaking. However, if the bottle is broke or if the cork is removed (a DC 24 Strength check) while not in contact with any liquid will cause the contents to spill forth and crumble to useless wooden pieces.
If the bottle is set into any liquid (lethal or otherwise) then the powerful magics set into the object activates. If the liquid is deep enough and the area is large enough to accommodate the ship set within the bottle, then the bottle will evaporate and the ship inside will instantly grow to its normal size. Otherwise, the bottle does nothing. The ship is equipped as per their related descriptions in the transport section (see page 163).
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shrink item; Cost 1,250gp (rowboat), 4,200gp (keelboat), 11,200gp (long ship or sailing ship), 26,200gp (warship), 31,200gp (galley)

Boring. Boring name. Boring item. It is, literally a ship in a bottle. Yawn. Mix in a useless introduction sentence that should have been cut and you have several reject thread issues all rolled into one. Plus I'm sure Sean dogged this for the real world item issue.

This is a great example of something to learn from. This would clearly make a book of magic items. Its a good general item. BUT this is NOT superstar. Some people ask what do you mean by good but not good enough. This is what I mean. This is competent and clean design of a mediocre idea.

That said, there is a lot good here. If you get a better idea and execute it as youve done here you might make it next year. Good luck, learn from this.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Azmahel wrote:

Spell Syphon

Aura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 17,500 gp; Weight –lbs.
Fine, floating particles of black and white sand fill this delicate, but unbreakable crystal vial. A simple, round stopper seals the vial, fastened to its neck with a thin silver cord.
When a Spell Syphon is opened, it can be thrown as a splash weapon with a range of 20 ft. The sand then whirls out of the vial, filling a 20ft radius with a fine, sparkling cloud of sand.
The cloud concentrates on all creatures capable of using spells or spell-like abilities in its area, whirling around them in a dazzling pattern, draining their magical energies. All affected creatures suffer a 1d4 penalty to their caster level for 1 minute, but may attempt a DC 17 Will save to end this effect every time after they've successfully cast a spell.
One round after emerging, the sand whirls back into the vial, collecting the harnessed energies and after the sand returned the vial reseals itself.
The sand then transforms into a multi-hued liquid, granting the creature drinking it a +4 bonus to its caster level for a number of rounds equal to the total penalty the sand applied.
Once the Spell Syphon is empty the sand will slowly reform over the next 24 hours, after which it can be used again.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dispel magic, greater, transformation;Cost 8,250 gp

Wow. This one would have taken some thought from me. Wonky mechanics just spell trouble for this item. I just dont think the mechanics here are clear at all. Neat idea, really whack mechanics. Clear reject for me.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

ulgulanoth wrote:

Egg of the Flame Toxoztesoma

Aura strong transmutation and necromancy CL12th
Slot head Price 12,000gp Weight-
This small gem is worn on the forehead, this item is activated by speaking the command word, and it borrows into the owner’s head. His skin and organs melt and turn into a single advanced leech swarm with the additional following changes; +2 strength, +4 dexterity, +3 natural armour, burn ability, fire resistance 20 and vulnerability to cold damage, this swarm is fully under the control of the owner, also anything this swarm perceives the owner perceives, the owner can control telepathically at any range as a swift action. After the owner’s body resurrects in a burst of flames, turning into a flaming skeletal creature with the following traits +2 strength bonus +4 dexterity bonus, +3 natural armour bonus, DR5/bludgeoning, darkvision 60ft, resist fire 20, vulnerability to cold, burn ability, the owner is treated as a native outsider for the duration of the effect. This effect lasts for 10 minutes, after which the owner’s body naturally extinguishes itself, incapacitating him for a round as his flesh slowly reforms, at the same time the swarm evaporates into a thick mist. The destruction of the swarm has no effect on the owner. This is a one use only item, after its activation it is destroyed. Alternatively by placing the egg on a dead creature’s body and activating it, the body is animated into a bloody flaming undead champion with the personality and alignment it had in life and it also gains the blood drain and poison abilities of the leech swarm. This undead creature lasts 1d6 minutes and after that it is instantly destroyed into a small pile of ashes.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, swarm skin, elemental body II, animate dead CL12 Cost 6,000gp

That is either just crazy gonzo or you are 12. If 12, great work, keep it up. If not, dude, scale it back. I dont even think Boomer would have created this item :)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Andrew Christian wrote:

Searing Vestment of the Dawnflower

Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot body; Price 68,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Decorated with red and golden suns, this long, white chasuble glows brilliantly.

Upon donning the searing vestment of the Dawnflower, the wearer immediately surrounds herself with a 40-foot radius, golden-red nimbus that otherwise works as continual flame. If the wearer removes the garment, the illumination extinguishes.

Additionally, once per day, the wearer may activate the searing vestment of the Dawnflower and cause the sun-like corona to implode, transforming her into a fiery ray of sunlight. The ray then fires forth as per searing light. If the distance to the target is no more than 60 feet and the attack is successful the target becomes unbalanced, allowing the wearer to make a trip attack using the damage done as her Combat Maneuver Bonus. After resolving the attack, the wearer will then reappear behind and adjacent to the target. If the ranged touch attack misses, use the splash weapon rules to determine where the wearer reappears, assuming a range increment of 10 feet. The movement in the form of the searing light ray and trip attack do not provoke attacks of opportunity.

Once this special attack has been resolved, the illumination reappears for 10 rounds, then immediately ceases and cannot be reignited until any time after the break of the next dawn.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Improved Trip, Widen Spell, continual flame, dimension door, searing light; Cost 34,000 gp

Now this is a cool item. I think (2) may have been your problem. I'd love to hear the feedback on this item, too.

Frankly, I would have voted to keep. Not sure the eventual fate of this one, particularly with the mechanic issue you mention, but it is clearly one I would keep around to think about. That itself is an accomplishment.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Modera wrote:

Bracers of transfiguration

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot wrists; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
These metal bracers are etched with different intertwined weapons.

The bracers can be activated once per day to move one special weapon ability from one magic weapon you currently have on your person (though not necessarily wield) to a magic weapon you currently wield. The initial weapon loses the ability for 1 minute and the recipient weapon gains the ability for 1 minute. Activating this item is a move action.

The recipient weapon must be able to have the ability in order to gain it (for instance, a weapon would have to be a slashing melee weapon in order to receive the vorpal quality from another weapon). Bracers of transfiguration cannot move specific weapons’ abilities but can move weapon special abilities to specific weapons (i.e. you could move the flaming special ability to a holy avenger, however you could not move the sleep effect from a sleep arrow to a +1 arrow). Moving a special ability to a weapon that already has the ability has no affect and wastes this ability for the day. This ability cannot move an enhancement bonus from one weapon to another.

Requirements fabricate, greater magic weapon; Cost 5,000 gp

We have these items every year, and every year they get the axe for the same reason. This is too metagame for a wondrous item, its more like an artifact power. You just dont get to switch weapon enchantments around like that so easily. I'd be surprised if the judges disagreed.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Sebastian wrote:

Glass Heart

Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Red and blue arcs of electricity flicker and pulse within this fist-sized shard of glass, flaring brightly when it is implanted into the chest cavity of a dead creature. Implanting a glass heart requires ten minutes and causes the recipient to return to life as if targeted by a raise dead spell. A particular glass heart can only raise a creature from the dead once and only if the creature has been dead for less than 9 days.

Upon being returned to life, the electricity in the glass heart replaces the recipient's blood, granting her an extra Move Action each round for as long as the heart is implanted. The substitution of electricity for blood makes the recipient resistant to negative energy, granting a +2 resistance bonus to saves against such effects. Finally, the recipient is immune to electricity attacks and heals 1 hp per point of damage such attacks would otherwise inflict.

Because it replaces a creature’s organic heart, a glass heart can only be implanted in a creature whose anatomy includes a heart. Recognizing that a creature has an implanted glass heart requires a DC 20 Spellcraft check.

Unfortunately, the heart is not a perfect substitute for a living organ and is very fragile. If the recipient suffers a critical hit from a bludgeoning weapon, she must make a Fortitude Save (DC 10 + the damage dealt) or immediately perish as the heart is pulverized. A glass heart is also vulnerable to the shatter spell. If the heart is targeted and the recipient fails her save, it is crushed and she is instantly slain.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, lightning bolt, raise dead; Cost 25,000 gp

LOVE the core concept, but you threw me with the electricity angle. The "blood replaced by electricity" was just too much, too many implications not thought through. Plus the extra move is really too much. Now, I love the limitations from the glass and critical hits. I can see why this got rejected. Love to hear from the "real" judges on this.

Mark Moreland wrote:
The Grandfather wrote:

Shroud of Necromorphosis

Thanks Mark for posting the commentary. And thanks to the judges for the sober feedback.

I actually tried my best at those damn commas. I guess I need more practice. Unfortunately I am bad at it even in my native language(s) :/

About "transformation": It should have said transmutation. Rooky mistake... or maybe an MS Word trap!

I never read Second Darkness - I was unaware of the spell in mention.

As I understand true seeing it is foiled by polymorph - thats why I put that in there... but it was probably an error.

I found pricing the item very hard. It has severe limitations on its usability, and some serious drawbacks.

If I had to do this item again I would focus on simplifying the mechanics. But keep the overall concept. It is not meant to be an über-item in the way of power and usability. I intended it to offer alternate solutions to PC problems and a good tool for GMing.

I will probably keep submitting stuff, but I fear my commas will improve little (even if I make a real effort at it).

Shadow Lodge

Well, only way to learn is by learning what I did wrong. Bear with me, I'm writing this from memory since I seem to have deleted the original file:

Stygian Fiddle

Aura Faint Transmutation; CL6; Price: 65,000; Weight 3lbs.
The Stygian fiddle is an almost tombstone looking pale grey violin with a bone inlay creating the frame and bow. Said to have been blessed by the Lady of Graves, the Stygian fiddle grants it's user the ability to tap into otherwise mindless undead. Anyone may make a perform (stringed instruments) check against a DC of 15 +2 per undead target that can hear them within 30ft. If the check is successful, apply either Haste or Slow (as per the spells, DC17 on the slow) to all targets as long as you continue to maintain the performance as a free action. A bard using this item may ignore an undeads immunity to mind affecting effects.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Haste, Slow; cost: 65,000 Gold

The Exchange Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9

Thanks for taking the time to offer constructive criticism and feedback, I look forward to learning from the experience and submitting to next year's competition.

Saurian Choker
Aura moderate transmutation CL 11th
Slot neck Price 5375 gp (type I), 14,300 gp (type II), 28,125 gp (type III) Weight

This choker is made from three fossils, usually claws or teeth, bound to a leather cord. The fossil remains are from creatures long extinct in Golarion, although it is said the beasts still thrive in valleys hidden deep within the Tusk Mountains. The choker functions as an amulet of natural armor according to the table below. Once per day, the wearer can remove one of the fossils and crush it, brewing the powdered bone into a tea or other beverage in a ritual that takes five minutes. For the remainder of that day whoever drinks the emulsion can assume the form of a specific dinosaur, as though affected by beast shape, according to the table below. This effect’s duration is measured in minute increments, and need not be consecutive minutes. The natural armor bonus from the choker does not stack with the natural armor bonus granted while in dinosaur form. When the third and final fossil is consumed in the ritual, the saurian choker loses all magical attributes and becomes a mundane item.

Type I Natural armor bonus +1; deinonychus; 5 minute duration
Type II Natural armor bonus +2; megaraptor; 7 minute duration
Type III Natural armor bonus +3; allosaurus; 9 minute duration

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, barkskin, creator’s caster level must be at least three times the choker’s natural armor bonus, beast shape I (type I), beast shape II (type II), beast shape III (type III) Cost 2,688 gp (type I), 7,150 gp (type II), 14063 gp (type III).

Spirit Catchers
Aura Strong Evocation; CL 13th
Slot Hands Price 12,000 gp Weight 2 lbs.
This ornate gauntlet is bespeckled with various jewels such as sapphires and rubies. On the underside of the gauntlet is an image of a ghostly figure struggling to break the grip of a warrior clad in heavy armor.

While this item was made for the warrior who tires of the hit and run tactics of certain incorporeal beings. It also proves useful to those who wish to do something other than take what may be a meaningless swing, as the creature rushes past him to attack his allies.

This item allows the wearer to affect incorporeal creatures as if they were corporeal creatures for the purpose of CMB based attacks such as grapple, bullrush, and the stand still feat.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Grasping Hand, Cost 6,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32 aka Hydro

Clark Peterson wrote:

We have these items every year, and every year they get the axe for the same reason. This is too metagame for a wondrous item, its more like an artifact power. You just dont get to switch weapon enchantments around like that so easily. I'd be surprised if the judges disagreed.

The main concern from Sean's post seemed to be that it was too cheap for creating what is potentially a too-powerful weapon (i.e, shifting vorpal onto something that already has +10 worth of properties).

That you're still doing this is awesome, but honestly, I can't make a lick of sense out of this post. It sounds like you're just saying it's-wrong-because-it's-wrong, even though 3.5 and Pathfinder are both full of ways to temporarily add properties to existing weapons.

Star Voter Season 6

Neil Spicer wrote:

Lachlan Rocksoul wrote:
The ship in a bottle looks just like a normal, clear, 2 inch thick, glass bottle capable of holding about 1 gallon of liquid. But, inside the corked bottle is a tiny ship sitting upon wooden supports. Anyone giving it a cursory glance will see a tiny model of a ship with amazing detail (sometimes even having barnacles on its hull).
A handful of minor quibbles here. First, it should be "2-inch thick" not "2 inch thick" and you've used passive voice ("is") and the word "will" which can almost always be dropped to make your writing stronger (e.g., "Anyone giving it a cursory...

Sorry - just a quibble on a quibble here - "is" is not actually passive in that sentence. Granted, the sentence is a bit awkward, but that has nothing to do with passives.

You are not alone in misidentifying it though. Here's an enlightening article on the matter, with links to many rantings (some very funny) at the bottom.

Passive Peeve

And here's a few recent ones that are worth some attention -
Mass Insanity
Finance World Tackles Passive

(the language log posts are written by a very well respected linguist, who wrote the book on English grammar)

/I hate to nitpick while standing in awe of all the work you must have put into the judging, but it's a pet peeve.

Intellect Syringe
Aura faint enchantment; CL 5th
Slot —; Price 7,000 gp; Weight —.
This large brass and crystal syringe can be used to extract and transfer a subject’s intellectual humors.
An empty intellect syringe can be used to deal either 1d6 Intelligence damage or reduce a skill by 2d6 ranks. With a successful Heal check (DC 20), the syringe’s wielder can locate the area of the brain required to extract a specific skill. Otherwise, the skill is determined randomly. If the subject does not possess enough ranks in that skill to fill the syringe, another random skill is drained until 2d6 ranks have been extracted. Lost skill ranks are treated as temporary ability damage for natural or magical healing.
The memory extract can be transferred to another subject as a temporary enhancement bonus. For example, an intellect syringe that had been used to extract 4 points of Intelligence damage from one subject would provide 4 points of Intelligence as a temporary enhancement bonus to its recipient. This bonus lasts until the subject next sleeps. An extract cannot be divided among multiple recipients. If the extract was taken from a creature of a different type (but not subtype) to the recipient, the recipient must make a Fortitude save (DC 14) or be nauseated for 1d6 rounds. An extract must be used within 24 hours of being harvested.
To provide or receive a memory extract, the subject must be either willing or helpless. The subject must also have an Intelligence of at least 6. Elementals and outsiders cannot be affected by an intellect syringe.
An intellect syringe can prepare and transfer one extract per day.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, touch of idiocy, fox’s cunning; Cost 3,500 gp

Well here it goes.
There is one typo that I found after I entered it (3th should be 3rd) so I'm not happy with my self over that.
So what do you think?

Pilgrim’s Fetish
Pilgrim’s Fetish
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3th
Slot ---; Price 1,500 gp; Weight --- lbs.
A small silver religious icon with the symbolic form of a particular temple or shrine, often carried by travelers to protect and guide them on their pilgrimages. The pilgrim’s fetish can summon the divines’ help, protect its bearer from evil, and cast a guiding light, but must be held in prayer in order to maintain its holy blessings.

When held in prayer, a standard action, the pilgrim’s fetish is activated; summoning 2d8 Lantern Archons to defend the wayward pilgrim and ward the bearer like a protection from evil spell. This effect is continuous, but in each additional round the bearer must make a Wisdom Check (DC 5) to see if he can maintain his prayer to continue receiving divine protection. The DC check is modified as follows: +5 for each point of damage the bearer takes, +1 for each five points of damage a Lantern Archon takes, +1 for every 2 rounds of combat the pilgrim’s fetish remains active.

The ability to summon a creature of heaven, Lantern Archons, can only be used once, but this ability may be recharged by a simple bless spell cast on the pilgrim’s fetish at its holy site of origin. The pilgrim’s fetish will grant its bearer protection from evil three times a week.

In addition, the pilgrim’s fetishcan guide its owner on his religious journey. Once per day, if held in prayer for a full minute, the pilgrim’s fetish will produce a shaft of light pointing directly towards the fetish’s holy site.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Summon Monster III, Protection From Evil, Light; Cost 750 gp

Sovereign Court Star Voter Season 7

Boggard Bag
Aura-Moderate Necromancy CL-5
Slot- Price-20,000gp Weight-5lbs
Description- This disturbing bag is made from the hide of the boggard and the inside contains the tongue of the creature as well. On a command word the bag launches out its tongue and will retrieve an item to the bag that is 10lbs or less. It uses a range touch attack to hit its target and the tongue's range is 20ft. If it hits a humanoid that target will take a -2 to AC, as long as the tongue is attached and cannot move more then 20ft from the bearer of the bag. The tongue can be removed by making a strength check DC-12 as a standard action or by dealing 2 points of slashing damage. This bag has another trick as well, if the tongue strikes a living target it undergoes a chance to be fatigued if the target fails a Fortitude check DC-12.
Requirements-Craft Wonderous item,Animate Dead, touch of fatigue Cost-10,000gp

The Exchange

Mark, many thanks for posting this, and thanks to the other judges for their comments.

Mark Moreland wrote:
brock wrote:
Phoenix Knights' Misericorde

...we find out that its power is activated when someone is killed...or "the subject of a successful attack that would trap, corrupt, or destroy their soul." Eh? Okay, I can see trap the soul. But corrupt or destroy? That's kind of loosely defined. So, if a paladin or cleric somehow sins and becomes an ex-paladin or ex-cleric, does that qualify as corrupting their soul?

I was recalling demons with the ability to utterly destroy the soul or corrupt alignment. Not really core rules though, and could indeed lead to a knight accidentally immolating themselves due to impure thoughts at the breakfast table.

Mark Moreland wrote:

...teleporting away even as it leaves a 15-round miniature flame strike to burn away your body...what?...so it can't be defiled?...or just so you can take vengeance on whoever was close to you that managed to kill your sorry butt?

* I actually like the flamestrike thing. It's a home campaign dealio to be sure, but a lot of games assume that Bad Things(tm) can be done if Lower Planer Entities get ahold of your dead body.

I pictured an order of Knights battling demons. Their bodies are destroyed to prevent them being defiled/animated/etc. and then the rise phoenix-like to battle again. It's not from my home campaign, but the flavour does stink of that.

I loved Planescape, and that's probably where the flavour of this came from. However, starting with flavour doesn't make a good, player-centred item.

Mark Moreland wrote:

* Then, this pendant goes off to either a preset destination (presumably so someone can resurrect or restore you and your soul with a raise dead, resurrection, etc. And, if you were too busy to specify a place, it somehow detects "dry land" where there's a "member of your race" who just happens to be oddly within 150 feet of its teleport location...all so it can draw them to you with a sympathy effect and whisper to them when they're within 10 feet. Okay. Do you get to whisper to them yourself and say, "Save me!" Or does the item just do it because you no longer have a voice?

That was for use if 'home' had been overrun, and gave the PC a chance to continue roleplaying themselves as they tried to get taken back to someone who could aid them.

Mark Moreland wrote:

* I assume that most of the time you find one of these, it comes pre-loaded with a soul. That's a great roleplaying aspect - who knows what's coming out of this thing when you try to raise the dead? There's no requirement that the user be good-aligned, after all!
* I wanted to like it. I wanted to keep it. I hope it gets reworked and submitted next year..

You know, I'd missed the fact that it would usually have a soul with it entirely? Certainly not Superstar material... Makes it a plot-hook rather than a useful item.

The last one is agonising. I've already got ideas for next year, but I'd love to take this on board and fix this too... Since Paizo owns this one now, I'll just hope that it gets polished into something better and used by you.

Again, many thanks.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka Gio

Mark Moreland wrote:
Gio wrote:
Laurel of Magnificence

* Wow. This item is full of fighting cheese. You pretty much get to assess whatever opponent or situation you're heading into...invoke this thing to give you a bunch of uber-helpful tactical stuff as you perform a successful combat maneuver and then maximize all of your attacks for the next 3 rounds...and you win! It's complicated with all the various rules effects each stance manipulates. It breaks rules left and right...granted, only 1/2/3 times per day depending on the color of the laurel...but for 3 rounds at a time...which may not be required for the length of any combat if you're granting many of these effects.

* I think this item is open to abuse. You stack with this lots of other builds from the martial character classes and I think this thing bends the game in bad ways. This item also feels really jammed together...like the designer came up with lots of cool innovative things for wondrous items to do, but then shook them all up and put them in a single item. It's a little too SAK for me. I also think it's one of those items that makes a GM's job harder as he has to track all the things that each stance negates.

* I think this is too complex (from the guy who keeps complaining about too few mechanics in the entries, that's saying something).
* I'm also worried about combo builds. This is an item that would require some special assistance from a combat-build maven to assess. If it was the prize reward at the conclusion of a substantial adventure, I might be willing to do the work to determine if this item was balanced or not, and if not, how to fix it.
* My hackles go up whenever I see certain rules "violated". Not having to worry about attacks of opportunity when taking a 5 foot step is one. That rule was added in the first place to make line-of-sight and obstruction rules less onerous (lest the Thinker in the party obsess for far too long on making exact, precise movements every turn...) If you let this into a campaign, it's going to virally...

Thanks a lot for the feedback! It is really helpful!

I have just one additional question which i would like to be answered; Was my English good? I have been trying to fix my writing problems since English is not my native language, and i would like to know if someone could understand that from reading my item, as it used to be the case in the past, and i still worry about it a lot.

Again, thanks for all the good work and dedicated feedback!

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Aura Medium Conjuration Magic
Pipe of Bubbles

Slot-;Price 10000;Weight-

Seeming like an ordinary corn cob pipe, when blown into this item creates bubbles that the user can use to transport up to 5 small or medium sized people.
As a standard action, this pipe creates 1 to 5 bubbles a round (max 5 bubbles per day) and can target multiple allies. Multiple bubbles can be placed on the same target.
These bubbles are transparent membranes that surround their targets and move in the direction poked by surround target.(including Up and down)
These bubbles have an AC 2, 10 hps, and move at 20' Each additional bubble on a person will add 20' to the speed that can be moved.
These Bubbles only pop after taking 10 points of damage each and last until popped. Any excess damage that would pop a bubble(s) will hit the intended target.
The bubbles are effected by damage from inside and outside. Items can not be passed through intact membranes. Air and gases can pass through the membranes normally.

Craft Wondrous Items;fly;Entropic Shield ;Cost:9000

Am very interested in the judges' reaction to this one. Thank you very much for making the effort to provide feedback to everyone!

Hood of the Geomancer
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

This heavy cowl of dark leather hangs low over the wearer’s head obscuring all but the eyes, which are imbued with a faint luminescence. Intricate Terran runework rings the base of the hood, and the jagged cracks on its surface confer a hard, stony appearance. When underground, or for 10 minutes after casting a spell with the Earth descriptor, the item courses with geomantic power and these cracks take on a smouldering, volcanic glow.

While the Hood of the Geomancer is thus activated, as long as the wearer is touching the ground, any spells cast by the wearer gain the Earth descriptor. Three times per day, a spell thus affected can be further empowered with a metamagic effect, becoming a Geomantic spell. This does not affect the spell’s casting time or effective level.

The energies of a Geomantic spell bristle with shards of jagged stone and quake the very earth. If the spell deals energy damage, half of this is converted into bludgeoning damage. If the spell summons creatures with the Earth subtype, those creatures gain +1 HD. Geomantic spells with a range of Personal extend the volcanic, stony appearance of the Hood across the wearer’s body, conferring a DR of 1/adamantine and adding a +2 enhancement bonus to CMD against bull rush, pull, push, reposition, trip, and overrun attempts for the duration of the spell, or until the hood deactivates, whichever is shorter.

The 10 minute activation of the hood is not triggered by spell-like or supernatural abilities, but does refresh from spells (except cantrips) granted the Earth descriptor by the item itself.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Elemental Spell, stone shape; Cost 4,500 gp

Blessed Antoillier
Aura moderate conjuration (creation); CL 5th
Slot Head; Price 17,100 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
These well preserved stag antlers are attached to a simple leather cap that makes it possible to wear them on the head.
Once per day, you can draw on the blessing imbued in the antlers in order to regain your health and vigor.
When resting, and if you command them to, the Blessed Antoillier will cover you and the clothes you wear in a living, velvet-like tissue.
You can, at any time, free yourself from the velvet with a move action, thus ending the magic. Slight movements while sleeping do not harm the tissue.
The velvet provides you with oxygen, nourishment, warmth and healing as necessary, making it possible for you to recuperate even in harsh weather conditions.
When used in a natural environment the covering causes a -5 penalty on perception checks made to detect you, as the velvet blends into the surroundings.
Resting for at least 6 hours while under the effects of the Blessed Antoillier gives you the same benefits as if you had a complete day of bed rest and your character level were 5 levels higher for the purpose of determining the number of hitpoints recovered.
After 8 hours the velvet becomes dry, breaks and finally falls off by itself.
The Blessed Antoillier only works on unarmored, living creatures.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements, lesser restoration, cure light wounds, create food and water; The antlers used in the creation must be ones that have been shed by an animal. They must not have been procured by killing a stag. Cost 8,550 gp

I'm afraid I found the problem but will wait and see if it's really what I think. If so I'm up for a big Facepalm

Star Voter Season 6

Thanks in advance for your feedback, it's much appreciated!

Mask of Two Faces
Aura faint divination; CL 3rd
Slot head; Price 9,900 gp; Weight 1 lb.

The burnished face of this silver mask is twisted into extreme expressions of joy and despair on either side. Three times per day, the wearer may delve into the mind of a humanoid target within 60 feet and take on the appearance of a person known to that target.

If the target fails a Will save (DC 13), the wearer then chooses to appear as either the person the target most wants to see or most fears to see, in the present circumstances. For example, if the target were a thief carrying out a heist, the wearer might appear as either the thief's trusted accomplice, or otherwise as the captain of the local guard.

The wearer's appearance, including the appearance of this mask and the wearer's other possessions, are altered as with disguise self. The disguise lasts for 30 minutes.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self, detect thoughts; Cost 4,950 gp

Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot varies (see below); Price 1,500 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Implements assist divine or arcane spellcasters with their casting. They can come in a variety of forms, but either use a magic item slot or must be held in one hand.
Some examples:
Wand of Accuracy: this wand provides an arcane spellcaster, who casts a ranged touch spell with a +2 to hit bonus
Dagger of Summoning: this ritual dagger provides a hit point bonus of +5 to monsters summoned via a summon monster spell.
Book of Wards: When hold this book doubles the duration of any divine abjuration spell
Requirements Craft Woundrous Item, any Metamagic feat, various spells depending on item; Cost 750 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka Standback

Azmahel wrote:
Spell Syphon

I can see why you went with this item; the idea of siphoning off spellcasting power is a cool one, which doesn't really exist in the game.

Sean and Neil have already discussed mechanical difficulties; I'm trying to think of some more appropriate, less game-breaking mechanism, but it's hard to find a simple catch-all for all spellcasters and all creatures with spell-like abilities (how does dropping CL for those affect them, anyway?)...

One possible fix would be to simplify - target a much smaller, more uniform type of target, and then you can have the effect that you want, tailored precisely to that particular group (say - arcane spellcasters only), just not as versatile.

The thing that really bothered me here was potential for abuse - the syphon could be opened by a non-spellcaster in an empty room, gather no magic energy at all, and just give a +4 boost to CL. I don't think you meant for that to be possible - not only does it feel broken thematically, it removes any danger to the spellcaster and his allies.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Aura Faint evocation/enchantment; CL 5th
Slot -; Price 4,000 gp; Weight - lbs.
This small, translucent ball is about one inch in diameter and filled with shimmering pixie dust. The glow of the dust causes the ball to continuously shed light as a candle.

A Shimmerball may be thrown at a creature or object as a ranged touch attack with range increments of 10 feet. If the target is hit, it begins to glow as if subject to a farie fire spell. This effect lasts for five minutes. Upon a successful hit, the ball becomes a dull, milky white and ceases to function for 24 hours.

If a command word is spoken before the ball is thrown, it bursts apart upon impact, scattering the pixie dust inside. The target and any adjacent creatures must make a DC 15 Will save or forget everything that has happened for the past five minutes, as if subject to a modify memory spell. Using the ball in this way destroys it completely.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, farie fire, a pinch of pixie dust given freely; Cost 2,000 gp

Maybe it was just not Superstar material, but here it is anyway:

Snake Charmer’s Blessing
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 7.500 gp; Weight -
Invented in Kelesh at the height of Thief Paragon Nassan’s rule almost 700 years ago, this trinket gained notoriety when the clique of bandits known as The Thirty-Nine-and-One employed it excessively during the Second Thieves War. Essentially a piece of cured snakeskin strapped to the forehead by leather strips, the Blessing has since become a famous tool of espionage and infiltration – no locks to force, no windows to break.

Upon activation the wearer’s body and gear become highly malleable, granting the ability to squeeze through tiny spaces like a small creature for up to 10 rounds per day. Activating the Blessing is a free action and rounds of use need not be consecutive. The wearer may squeeze through 10 feet per round in any direction, even along vertical surfaces. The wearer cannot manipulate or pick up items while the trinket is active. Leaving the cramped space ends the transformation reverting the wearer’s physique to normal. Use of the trinket does not provide any special protection against damage.

The Blessing, however, has its curse, too: Should the duration expire while the wearer is still trapped in a narrow space, he is then forcefully ejected towards the nearest opening, taking 2d6 points of damage for every 5 feet thus travelled.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Beast Shape I; Cost 3.750 gp

If I could get an opinion, at you convenience:

Undistinguished Choker
Aura Faint Illusion; CL 3rd
Slot Neck; Price 12,500 gp; Weight -
This plain leather band is meant to be worn about the neck, and although the workmanship is obviously above standard, there appears to be nothing magical or special about this item unless it is closely examined, as it is under the constant affect of a magic aura spell. Indeed, it would not stand out as being worthy of notice if placed among other chokers, torcs, and necklaces. There are even several stories of these items being sold as non-magical jewelry by ignorant or misinformed shop keepers and adventurers; proof that the choker is good at its job.

When worn, this unremarkableness extends to the wearer, even if they don't immediately notice it. the choker's magic aura extends to cover all items worn or carried by the wearer, making them appear non-magical, as well as masking any magic aura the user themselves might give off (if they are a caster, for example). Further more, the user is also affected by an undetectable alignment spell, as are all of their worn or held items.

As a final touch to allow the wearer to blend into almost any crowd, The wearer can issue a mental command as a standard action to duplicate the effect of a disguise self spell. This effect can be used an unlimited number of times per day, and lasts until dispelled.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Magic Aura, Disguise Self, Undetectable Alignment; Cost 6,250 gp

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Hi all - time for me to show mine too.

I will try and get another 3 in depth reviews of the winners done today during my lunchbreak, and tomorrow and will finish the rest over the weekend. I might even get a chance to have a go at some of the ones posted here.

Anyway, Here goes, enjoy, abuse, laugh and point - just have a smile on me :)

Season's Raiment
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot body; Price 29,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
A leather cloak tied to the seasons of its current location, changing appearance appropriately:-

Spring - Grassy green with muddy brown mottling.
Summer - Verdant greens patterned as overlapping evergreen and oak leaf branches.
Autumn – Yellow, orange, red and gold leaf shaped tessellations.
Winter - Misty grey with white hoar frost patterns.

This cloak grants a +2 circumstance bonus to Hide in wilderness settings due to natural camouflage. Additional seasonal powers are granted:-

Spring - Hunter Senses, Owl Sight.
Summer - Hunter Senses, Heat Reflection.
Autumn - Hunter Senses, Owl Sight.
Winter - Owl Sight, Insulating Ways.

Hunter Senses provide a +2 circumstance bonus to spot checks.
Owl Sight extends sight 10 feet further than normal under low light conditions.
Heat Reflection protects against extremes of summer heat, as protection from energy (Fire).
Insulating Ways protects against the ravages of cold winter extremes, as protection from energy (Cold).

When worn by a Druid, additional animal forms are granted at each seasonal solstice and equinox:-

Spring Equinox - Tiger (Core Bestiary, pg 265)
Summer Solstice - Phoenix (Core Bestiary, pg 227)
Autumn Equinox - Lion (Core Bestiary, pg 193)
Winter Solstice - Wolf (Core Bestiary, pg 278)

These forms do not count towards daily Wild Shape limits and can be assumed up to twice on their day - provided the druid is capable of Wild Shape transformations of equivalent size. Each transformation is limited in duration as normal Wild Shape transformations of the druid.

In areas with an absence of seasons, the cloak becomes a uniform grey and provides no benefits other than being waterproof.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, polymorph, protection from energy, Robe of Scintillating Colors; Cost 14,500 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka Standback

::throws sequential reviewing order to the winds::

Anthony Adam wrote:

Season's Raiment

Well, this is a classic SIAC SAK - it grants the user a bunch of different abilities, all well defined existing effects and abilities (read: non-innovative); which abilities he gets to use depends on an outside trigger.

That said, I do like the concept - it's a good concept; simple, evocative. A bit cliche, perhaps, but not one that actually gets put to use much. It ties together well; it makes sense. I like that.

Two improvements that I can offer. I found the individual details of each effect on each season somewhat cumbersome; that's like 3 tables for a single item. One table with all 3 effects might serve you better. Secondly, your description is fairly simple and straightforward; more flavor and color there would have been nice.

Hope this is helpful :)

EDIT: Ah, I knew I was going to forget this! I wanted to mention that it was really awesome that you made sure to mention what happens in absence of seasons. A lot of people wouldn't think to consider such a possibility, but in a game this could definitely happen, so way to go for catching this corner :)

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Emberwisp Vial
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot - ; Price 19,000 gp; Weight -

This small glass vial is usable up to 3 times per day as a tool for mixing an alchemists bomb. Creatures that suffer fire damage from a bomb mixed with the help of the emberwisp vial additionally become the hosts of tiny intangible wisp-like embers that lazily circle their hosts and also course between all other emberwisp hosts within 15 feet. The vial has no effect if used in the creation of a bomb that doesn’t deal fire damage. The emberwisps last for 2d4 rounds.
Emberwisps obviously object if their host tries to move away from other emberwisp hosts by flaring angrily. If an emberwisp host is not within 15 feet of at least one other emberwisp host, the emberwisps start to whirl around the host in a frenzy of bright light, buzzing angrily. This causes the host to be dazzled and also be affected as if moving on difficult terrain. This effect lasts until the host again comes within 15 feet of another emberwisp host or until the emberwisps fade at the end of their duration.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, elemental aura, creator must have 10 ranks in Craft (alchemy); Cost 9,500 gp

Thank you for all your effort. It is really appreciated.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Standback wrote:

::throws sequential reviewing order to the winds::

Anthony Adam wrote:

Season's Raiment

Well, this is a classic SIAC SAK - it grants the user a bunch of different abilities, all well defined existing effects and abilities (read: non-innovative); which abilities he gets to use depends on an outside trigger.

Yeah, I kind of realised that but was hoping the season theme would be innovative enough to make it unusual.

I also wanted to give a little to druids as they are often overlooked - the animal choices for the seasons were a nightmare, I must have changed those 30 or more times.

I was also aiming for time in a different approach.

Lol, guess I was just too out there on the Red Bull/Caffeine boost :)

Gravity Nail of Nethys
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 102,860 gp; Weight -
This nail is made of fine steel; the sharp end is pitch-black while the other end is marble white. You can active power from either side, but no more than total three times per day. When you strike the marble
white side on the solid surface and speak the command word, it reverses gravity in an area while the nail itself remain in the same place, it functions just like the spell “reverses gravity” cast by a level 13 wizard.
When the pitch-black end is struck on the solid surface, it causes the area to succumb to heavy gravity. All acrobatics, climb, ride, and swim checks incur a –2 circumstance penalty, as do all attack rolls.
All item weights are effectively doubled, which might affect a character's speed. Weapon ranges are halved.
Creatures that fall on this area take 1d10 points of damage for each 10 feet fallen, to a maximum of 20d10 points of damage. If the nail is ever removed from the solid surface, these effects immediately end.
If Nethys is your patron, you can use a melee touch attack to strike one single creature or object to unleash the force of opposite gravity, causing violent thrust and tearing the subject from inside.
This functions like disintegrate spell cast by a level 13 wizard. Whether the subject successes save throw or not, the nail would be shattered and destroyed in the process.
Requirements craft wondrous item,Reverse Gravity,Disintegrate ; Cost 51,430gp

Liberty's Edge

Circlet of Adoration
Aura Moderate Enchantment; CL 7th
Slot Head; Cost 19,600 gp; Weight - lbs.
This finely crafted platinum head band is decorated with golden etchings depicting various humanoid races shaking hands with one another. Circlets of adoration have been coveted by nobles, diplomats, bards, and spies alike for their wondrous properties. When worn, the circlet of adoration instantly changes the wearers’ appearance to that of an attractive person of the opposite gender, as per disguise self. After being worn for 24 consecutive hours the full abilities of the circlet are available. The circlet of adoration grants the wearer a +4 Diplomacy Skill bonus as well as the use of calm emotions 3 times per day; all affected creatures must make a Will save (DC 14) to negate the effects. In addition the circlet of adoration grants the use of charm monster 1 a day, the targeted creature must make a Will save (DC 16) to negate the effect.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, calm emotions, charm monster, disguise self; Cost 9,800 gp

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32 aka KissMeDarkly

So... here's my submission with my stupid mistakes included, although it is not the exact submission as I did some tinkering on the website before finally submitting. Yes, it should be a Cerberus Collar. Yes, it should be formatted properly. Yes, I am kicking myself. Also, I suspect it might have fell into the boring category.

AURA strong transmutation, minor divination; CL 7th
SLOT -- ; PRICE 168,000 GP; WEIGHT 1 lb.

The cerebus collar may be worn by any small, medium, or large animal or magical beast. The creature increases by one size category while sporting the cerebus collar. When worn the cerebus collar grants an animal or magical beast the ability to grow an additional head. This head does not immediately appear. It will take twenty-four hours to grow.

It will duplicate the head attached to the neck around which the cerebus collar has been placed. So a chimera wearing it could have either an additional lion, goat, or dragon head. But it would depend upon which neck the collar is being worn.

The duplicate head grants any additional attacks that the first may have had such as a bite or gaze attack. Breathe weapons are not duplicated, but may be produced from either head. The collar allows these two heads to communicate via telepathic bond. This bond grants a +4 Perception bonus.

No creature may gain the bonuses of more than one cerebus collar at a time. The collar will resize itself to fit the neck around which it is to be worn.

REQUIREMENTS Craft Wondrous Item, animal growth, polymorph, telepathic bond, the heads of an ettin; COST 84,000 GP

The Exchange

Dimensional Battery
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 8th
Slot —; Price 23,040gp; Weight 1 lb.
Palm-sized and in the form of a miniature lantern, this arcane device absorbs ambient magical energy used for dimensional manipulation and stores the potential until the wielder releases this energy by using it for dimensional travel of her own.

Each time a spell of the conjuration school is cast within 60 feet of the wielder, the dimensional battery gains a number of charges equal to the level of the spell being cast. The wielder may use the dimensional battery to teleport up to 5 feet per charge as a standard action. This teleportation must be used in 5-foot increments and such movement does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

The dimensional battery can store a maximum of 20 charges and can be recharged. While it contains charges, the device gives off a faint bluish white glow, with a lighter hue indicating more charges. A pure white glow indicates a fully charged device.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dimension door, creator must be a specialist of the conjuration school; Cost 11,520gp

OK, so here is my magic item. I really would appreciate any comments about this one, because I really like it (and as soon as I find a new RPG group over here in Halifax, I will for sure use it... :-)

Here we go:
Pearl Of Ponding
Aura Moderate varied; CL 8
Slot none; Price 3,750 gp; Weight -
This blue-brown shimmering pearl of average size can be hurled up to 60 feet. Upon impact it breaks and releases a gush of muddy, poisonous water – enough to form some seemingly normal and shallow looking puddles on the nearest, almost flat, 10x10 feet area below the point of impact. These puddles stay for 2 hours (or until triggered).
Any creature standing in or walking into this area triggers the following effects:

  • The area is instantly replaced by a perfect illusion of it.
  • An extra dimensional, 40 feet deep hole with wet coarse stone walls forms (Climb DC 25) .
  • 30 feet of the hole is filled with the same water as in the puddles.
  • The hole itself and the area above it (10 feet height) is silenced (as in the spell silence).

Anyone in this area is allowed to make a Reflex saving throw (DC 15) to prevent falling into the hole (no falling damage applies, but each creature falling into the water automatically submerges). Once in the water, all victims need to make a Swim check (DC 20) every round just to stay afloat because of strong currents trying to pull them down to the pit's bottom (drowning rules apply).
Every round a creature is submerged (or tries to sip from a puddle), a Fortitude save (DC 14) is needed to prevent taking 1d3 points of Constitution damage through poison.
In the 9th round after being triggered all magical effects vanish (beside the Constitution damage) and the pit's bottom slowly rises, taking everything with it back to the surface.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alarm, create water, create pit, silence, hydraulic torrent, illusory wall, poison; CL 10 Cost 1,825 gp

Here is my item open for critique =)

Pommelstone of Power
Aura Moderate transmutation, Aura of special ability; CL +2 of special ability
Slot -; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 0 lbs.
Pommelstone of power are attachable pommelstones that contains a magical power which are transferered to any weapon which the pommelstone has been attached to. Attaching a pommelstone of power requires a successfully Craft: Weapons check of DC 10. The weapon only gains the pommelstone´s power as long as the stone is attached to the weapon. The pommelstone can be removed and attached to another weapon using the same Craft DC as before.

The power of a Pommelstone of power can be any of the +1 special ability for a weapon, such as Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, etc. One such pommelstone of power might be of Frost, which may be attached to a melee weapon thereby granting the weapon the Frost ability without futher increasing the weapon bonus. Only the +1 special abilities may be stored in a pommelstone of power, and only one such ability.

These pommelstones looks like fine gems cut to perfection and clearly brimming with magical power. Designed to be attached to any melee weapon, replacing the previous pommelstone.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, in addition any feat and spell requirement of the special ability; Cost 4,000 gp

Please provide feedback for my item below. Thanks!

The Book of Beast and Brute
Aura; Moderate Transmutation CL 9
Price 25,000 gp Weight 1 lb.
The book of beast and brute is a small, leather-bound book with nine blank, almost membranous pages. Removing and crumpling one, and speaking the command word, allows the character to select any creature from the 1st level summon monster or nature’s ally charts, which grows from the paper in one round. The character must speak the words within 24 hours and 45 feet of the paper, but is not required to be within visual or aural range. The creature is parchment, but retains all the characteristics of its normal type. It obeys the character’s simple commands. Any fire or water related attack does double damage to it. Removing more pages allows for the creation of creatures from the higher-level summoning lists, one level per page crumpled together. However, for each level over the character, there is a 15% chance it attacks her. If the paper is in an enclosed space that would not normally accommodate the creature, it breaks through anything with a Break DC of 23 or less. Not meeting this benchmark means it becomes worthless paper. Each creature lasts for 20 minutes before returning to its original crumpled-paper state, now useless. As long as there exists in the book a number of pages equal to the total levels of creatures already created, they can be made permanent by breaking the book’s binding, thereby destroying its magical properties. Killed creatures explode harmlessly into confetti. One page is removed and crumpled in one round, two to five pages together in two rounds, and more than six pages in three rounds. Balled-up paper has a range increment of 10 feet.
Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, polymorph any object, permanency;
Cost 12,500 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

To hone my own skills I will take a shot a critizising some of the more obvious things. Please bear with me.

IgorRock wrote:

...Here we go:

Pearl Of Ponding

This is a trap rather than a wondrous item which was probably the main reason for rejection.


It's name is a gag aliteration and doesn't really describe the item (Pearl of the Poison Pits is also a bad aliteration but at least says what the item does). Ponding isn't something I would use for a cool item name.
Strong Illusion and Alteration would be more fitting for the aura.
What does it mean when an area is "replaced" by an illusion? You probably ment "covered".
While it takes a DC 20 swim check just to stay afloat what is the swim check to actually surface if you were sucked down?
The item is a pile of effects - literally the swiss army knive of traps. You not only get an illusion covered pit, it is also filled with poison AND even has a current AND finally even a silence effect.
The pearl breaking upon impact suggest a one time use item, but you don't say so specifically. If one time use it is rather expensive - hinting to an OP effect, if not it is much too cheap.
The number of spells needed for its creation are way over the top - also hinting to the swiss army knive character of this item.

Jarreth wrote:

Here is my item open for critique =)

Pommelstone of Power

I guess the main reason for rejection is that the item is simply unimaginative.


The Aura and CL are arkward.
The writing is weak. Never use "etc.", try to be clear and concise enough to not need examples - especially for such a simple effect. Don't "over-examplise" - you give two examples where none is needed.
This item adds a +1 equivalent ability to "a weapon" but only some weapons have pommels. Can the stone only be used on these or could I have a bow "pommelstoned"?
The only reason to make such a stone is a metagaming one - the ability to transfer a power from an old weapon to a newly found and better one.

stowcreek wrote:

Please provide feedback for my item below. Thanks!

The Book of Beast and Brute...

Nice idea, but probably killed by weak rules.

The creatures are parchment but retain all their characteristics? Soo, a parchment Fire Elemental would look like what?
What happens if you rip out the last side of the book; does it stop working?
Making a Summon Monster 9 permanent for a mere 12500 GP production cost is way over the top.

Brix wrote:

This isn't a wondrous item, its a bunch of items (or more exact a rules idea gleaned from 4e) that you gave some brief examples for. So you simply did not adhere to the rules to produce a single imaginative wondrous item.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Monster-in-a-can. *blush*. So obvious now.

Glove of the Crustacean
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot hands; Price 23.500 gp; Weight -.
This single rust-red leather glove is reinforced with chitin, encrusted with barnacles, and smells of the sea. While worn, it provides water breathing for up to 14 hours per day, which need not be contiguous.
Once per day as a standard action, the glove may transform the wearer’s arm into a monstrous crustacean pincer for up to 10 rounds, bestowing a +2 natural armor bonus. The pincer allows the wearer one natural attack per round at his full base attack bonus, using the pincer’s Strength of 25 regardless of his own. It causes 1d8 points of damage, and may grab medium or smaller creatures as the monstrous ability.
If the pincer successfully grapples a foe, the wearer may choose to detach himself from it as a swift action. He may then act normally with both hands while the pincer continues to grapple and cause damage using the same CMB (but at a -20 penalty), with a CMD based on Dexterity 10. The pincer has 50 hit points and AC 20 when detached.
The pincer cannot manipulate objects beyond simply holding them, and does not increase lifting or carrying capacity. The wearer may use his other hand freely. When the duration ends, or if the detached pincer is escaped or destroyed, the glove unerringly reappears on the wearer’s hand.
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, barkskin, water breathing, summon nature’s ally IV; Cost 11.750 gp

Jarreth wrote:

Here is my item open for critique =)

Pommelstone of Power

Uhm, isn't this like a weapon crystal from the MIC?

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32 aka KissMeDarkly

Jarreth wrote:

Here is my item open for critique =)


Pommelstone of Power
Aura Moderate transmutation, Aura of special ability; CL +2 of special ability
Slot -; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 0 lbs.
Pommelstone of power are attachable pommelstones that contains a magical power which are transferered to any weapon which the pommelstone has been attached to. Attaching a pommelstone of power requires a successfully Craft: Weapons check of DC 10. The weapon only gains the pommelstone´s power as long as the stone is attached to the weapon. The pommelstone can be removed and attached to another weapon using the same Craft DC as before.

The power of a Pommelstone of power can be any of the +1 special ability for a weapon, such as Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, etc. One such pommelstone of power might be of Frost, which may be attached to a melee weapon thereby granting the weapon the Frost ability without futher increasing the weapon bonus. Only the +1 special abilities may be stored in a pommelstone of power, and only one such ability.

These pommelstones looks like fine gems cut to perfection and clearly brimming with magical power. Designed to be attached to any melee weapon, replacing the previous pommelstone.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, in addition any feat and spell requirement of the special ability; Cost 4,000 gp

Yay! A submission I like the idea of! +1
(Note: I have not read every submission thus far.)

Now onto the critique. I really think it should be Pommel Stone of Power. I also think the "Power" could've been replaced with a different word. Not exactly sure what I would've use. Maybe "Improvement."

Personally, I don't care for the Weapon Check. I think a command word would've been stronger and made the item more accessible to any PC who comes across it. Also this chapter is in the wrong place. Tell me what this does before telling me how to attach it to my sword.

Any weapon? So... I could attach this to a Net? No, I don't think so. If I attach one to either end of a quarterstaff, do I get the bonus of both? This weapon should be limited to swords, knifes, and similar weapons (like a sai) of a certain weight and above.

Jarreth wrote:
The power of a Pommelstone of power can be any of the +1 special ability for a weapon, such as Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, etc. One such pommelstone of power might be of Frost, which may be attached to a melee weapon thereby granting the weapon the Frost ability without futher increasing the weapon bonus.

Ugh. This needed to be rephrased. That first "power" should've been "bonus." Then how about "can be any magical +1 weapon specialty?" I feel there was little to no need to include suggestions of the specialties you might encounter. But that's more my opinion. Now that last line should read: "A pommelstone of power grants a single bonus ability without granting the +1 weapon bonus."

Jarreth wrote:
Only the +1 special abilities may be stored in a pommelstone of power...

Now, here you start repeating yourself needlessly. You've already said this! Remove it!

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