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Jingle Bell,
Serious Forums Smell,
Make them Go Away.
Oh what fun,
To joke and pun
And play Pathfinder all the day.
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On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Dear Paizo gave to me:
Twelve chapter Adventure Path,
Eleven errata updates,
Ten percentile dice,
Nine magic spells,
Eight new awesome feats,
Seven days of free shipping,
Six new products,
FIVE PREVIEW PICS!
Four cool campaign traits,
Three new high level NPC's,
Two of Lilith's cookies,
and a subforum that I can hide!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Much improved by M -
Rudy, the red-assed poster,
Had a serious axe to grind,
And if you let him say it,
You would likely lose your mind.
All of the other posters,
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudy
Be smnrf-free in his butthurt games.
Then one frosty Christmas eve,
Gary came to say:
Don't let Rudies be a drag,
I give you the gift of FLAG!
Then all the posters loved him,
As they shouted out with glee:
Gary the PostMonster General,
Now a new subforum's what we need!
You know Moorluck and Solnes,
And Lynora, that vixen,
CJ and Taig,
The threads they are fixin'
Angels and drow,
Poodles and Jacks,
They all sure know how,
To take things to the max.
But do you recall...
The most famous poster of all?
Dashing thru the threads,
With a meathook in my hands,
Love the shades of reds,
And the music of the bands.
Oh, the songs they play,
Make me want to dance,
And people I will slay,
They don't stand a chance.
With words they aim to hurt,
And my hook it is so sharp,
The blood it will a squirt,
They ought to be playing LARP.
tra la la.
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Thy leaves are so beguiling;
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Thy leaves are so beguiling;
So lush and green when dryads are near,
But also when the forest's clear.
Of human hands! Of human hands!
And the axes aren't a-swinging!
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much knowledge thou can'st give me;
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much knowledge thou can'st give me;
How often has the Sentient tree
Afforded me its wisdom!
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much wisdom thou can'st give me.
Goblins roasting by an open fire,
And chewing on their toes.
A guy named Harold being hung by a wire,
The goblins dressed in his dead wife's clothes.
They all want some turkey and some mistletoe,
And the loot that is so bright.
Little devils with their eyes all aglow,
Waiting for their pals to sleep tonight.
They know that murder's the best way,
To get all the loot your brothers you must slay.
And every brother's child must die as well,
To keep them from sending them to Hell.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
Be watchful, the goblins are coming for you.
Come they told me, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb
An Alchemist to see, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb
Our finest bombs we bring, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb
To lob before the Mage, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb,
bomb bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Thy leaves are so beguiling;
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Thy leaves are so beguiling;
So lush and green when dryads are near,
But also when the forest's clear.
Of human hands! Of human hands!
And the axes aren't a-swinging!O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much knowledge thou can'st give me;
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much knowledge thou can'st give me;
How often has the Sentient tree
Afforded me its wisdom!
O Sentient Tree! O Sentient Tree!
Much wisdom thou can'st give me.
It's...it's... ::eyes widen and glisten:: BEEYOOTEEFUL...
Contributor
|
Have a hawtl FAWTL Christmas!
They're the best threads you'll find here.
I don't know if there'll be trolls,
So bring your flaming sphere.
Have a hawtl FAWTL Christmas!
And when you scroll down the screen
Just say "No!" to threads you know
Will make you want to scream.
Oh ho!
The mistletoe
Looks like Mairk's left ear
And Lord President Moorluck rules
Through both love and fear!
Have a hawtl FAWTL Christmas!
And in case you didn't hear,
Oh by Gawtl,
Have a hawtl FAWTL
Christmas this year!
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‘Twas the night before Deadline, and all through Paizo
Every creature was stirring, even Gary’s worn mouse.
The pdfs were loaded on the server with care,
In hopes that the green light soon would be there.
The employees were tired with their eyes all so red,
While visions of creatures danced in their heads.
With Lisa and Erik, in their matching Admiral Ackbar caps,
Had just settled their brains planning a much needed nap.
When out in the warehouse there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their desks to see what was the matter.
Away to the loading dock they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to their bloodshot eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St Vic.
More rapid than dire eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now James! Now, Jason! Now, Sean and Wesley!
On, Rob! On, Mark! On, Sarah and Sutter!
To the top of the charts! To the top of the mall!
Now ship away! Ship away! Ship away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Cosmo and Jeff, with their minions so spry.
Gary and Ross, not a person was blue.
To ship Paizo goodness, and release the pdfs too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard ‘round the world,
"Happy Gaming to all, and to all a good fight!"
And they sang in unison with good cheer,
'Hear Hear Emperor, have some Paizo credits on us to spare!'
|
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Dear Paizo gave to me:
Twelve chapter Adventure Path,
Eleven errata updates,
Ten percentile dice,
Nine magic spells,
Eight new awesome feats,
Seven days of free shipping,
Six new products,
FIVE PREVIEW PICS!
Four cool campaign traits,
Three new high level NPC's,
Two of Lilith's cookies,
and a subforum that I can hide!
Or...
+5 GOLDEN RINGS!
;o)
Jiminy Sunwakes' Holiday Hits -
Satan Baby
Deck the Halls (with the Bowels of Your Enemies)
Silent Knife
French Fry the Snowman
Grandma Got Run Over By a John Deere (and I was driving!)
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Snack Tray
Parents Roasting Over a Open Fire
Strangle Bells
Slashing Thru The Halls (with a switchblade in my hand)
I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Claus
All is What I Want for Christmas
I just luv the holidays! Don't you?
;P
And people thought I was the weird one, brother..
Everybody pauses and stares at me
These vampire teeth are gone as you can see
I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!
All I want for Christmas
is my vampire teeth,
my vampire teeth,
see my vampire teeth!
Gee, if I could only
have my vampire teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."
Or attack you.
And people thought I was the weird one, brother..
Sheesh. Yeah. Jimmy has some serious issues....
It's Christmas
Courtfool, please come home
(Yeah!)
The MoMo's going down,
I'm watching him fall
HuMo's humping around
Courtfool please come home
Squeaky toys and bones,
Cockapool's howling a song
Sumo's happily stoned
Poodle please come home
They're singing "Hump them all,"
But it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
All the poodles had fun last year
Snarky's chewed on the wires
The lights are starting to spark
It's set the carpet on fire
Courtfool please come home
Poodle please come home
Poodle please come home
They're singing "Hump them all,"
But it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
All the poodles had fun last year
If there was a way
All the trolls I'd slay.
But it's Christmas day
Courtfool please come home
{Caterwauuuuuuul!}
Poodle please come home
Poodle please come home
Poodle please come home
{Caterwauuuuuuul!}
Poodle please come home
Poodle please come home
*tilts head at the words 'squeaky toys' then lays down with his head btwn his paws*
I miss sniffing his butt. And the humping.
AROOOOOOO!
*Joins in the howling for Courtfool* AROOOOOOOOO!!!!
I'm dreaming of a Wight Christmas
Just like the one's I used to know
When barrows glisten
And Tom Bombadil listens
While Wights slay hobbits in the snow
I'm dreaming of a Wight Christmas
Just like the one's I used to know
When barrows glisten
And Tom Bombadil listens
While Wights slay hobbits in the snow
nice!
Walking Around in Paizo's Server Room
*click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
Merry Christmas, PMG!
Layin' Waste to Santa's Wonderland
Undead hordes, they've been summoned
To the North, they are a comin'
For there they will play,
And elves they will slay
Layin' waste to Santa's Wonderland
They've been told, by the liches
That the elves are so delicious
The wraiths and the wights,
Will feast thru the nights
Layin' waste to Santa's Wonderland
In the Workshop they will try to build a fortress,
and they'll try to make it holy ground
But the zombies are neutral corpses
And they'll shamble in and go to town.
Zombie hordes, they'll be munchin'
On reindeer bones, they'll be crunchin'
And poor Santa Claus,
Won't get to pause
As the North is turned into Zombieland
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MUAHAHAHAHA!
Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't ever wish for snow
(and I) Don't care about wrapping
presents, the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus will make me happy
With gaming on Christmas day
I just want minis for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is minis...
Minis baby
Stumpy the Bugbear
Stumpy the Bugbear was a very ugly soul,
With an old lead pipe and a broken nose
And two eyes he took from a troll.
Stumpy the Bugbear is a fairy tale, they say,
He once was whole but the elders know
How he lost his leg one day.
There must have been some magic in that
Old mage hat he found.
For when he placed it on his head
He began to prance around.
O, Stumpy the Bugbear
Was as spry as he could be,
'Til the clan chief saw his litter mate
And Stumpy behind a tree.
Choppity chop chop,
Choppity chop chop,
Look at that leg fly.
Choppity chop chop,
Choppity chop chop,
And now you all know why.
Here we come smurf bowling
Among the smurfs so blue,
Here we come smurf bowling
So line them up so true.
Smurfs and beer come to you,
And watch Gargamel bowl too,
And may you not get the dreaded 6-10 split,
For each smurf you do hit,
Wins you a fresh cold beer,
May you score a 300 for the New Year.
They are a bunch of beggers
That beg from door to door,
They aren't the neighbors' children
Whom you have seen before.
They are annoying and blue,
And will steal your undies too,
So be sure to bowl your best,
If the smurfs you do detest.
'Cause smurf bowling is the most fun
You will have, yes it is.
Smurf bowling is the most fun
You can list.
ZombieSmurf mistakenly posted this in some smurf thread -
Silent smurf, holy smurf,
All is smurf, all is smurf
Smurf yon Virgin Smurfette and child
Baby Smurf so smurfy and mild
Smurf in heavenly smurf
Smurf in heavenly smurf
Silent smurf, holy smurf,
Shepherds smurf at the smurf
Glories smurf from heaven afar
Smurfy hosts smurf Alleluia!
Smurf the Saviour is smurfed
Smurf the Saviour is smurfed
Silent smurf, holy smurf,
All is smurf, all is smurf
Smurf yon Virgin Smurfette and child
Baby Smurf so smurfy and mild
Smurf in heavenly smurf
Smurf in heavenly smurf
Oh, smurfing smurf! Not that smurf, again. That smurf belongs in another smurfing thread. This is thread is for smurfing Christmas songs!
Oh...wait...those ARE smurfing Christmas songs. Carry on.
Zombie yells,
Zombie yells,
The Living run away.
Oh, what fun
It is to chase
Brain food all the day.
Munching on a bone,
And chewing on their brains,
When they're caught alone,
It makes a Zombie's day.
Zombie yells,
Zombie yells,
The Living they will slay.
Continuing in our Top Ten of Undead Christmas Songs we have -
Zombie Claws Are Coming To Town
You better not shout
You better not cry
Better not go out
I'm telling you why
Zombie claws are coming to town
They don't need a list
So no checking twice;
They don't care who's naughty and nice
Zombie claws are coming to town
They'll eat you when you're sleeping
Your brains they don't need to bake
They love them 'cause they taste so good
Even better than organ cake!
O! You better watch out!
Take to the sky
But once you go out
It'll be your turn to die
Zombie claws are coming to town
Zombie claws are coming to town
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
Bright metal minis and flipmaps for gaming
Rules books and APs and monsters for taming
Brown carboard packages that come in the mail
Help us create a most wondrous tale
Blue colored drow and house broken poodles
Jacks and Smurfs eating warm Ramen noodles
FAWTLies that shoot the moon as each sings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white teddies with black leather sashes
Drinking and laughing and running with matches
Silver white winters that make us stay home
And read Paizo goodness and make our minds roam
When the warg bites
When the stirge stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
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O zombie horde, O zombie horde!
How are thy feasts so bloody!
O zombie horde, O zombie horde!
How are thy feasts so bloody!
More active in the summertime,
But not so much in winter's rime.
O zombie horde, O zombie horde!
How are thy feasts so bloody!
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Much infection doth thou bring me!
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Much infection doth thou bring me!
For every year the zombie swarm,
Brings to us all that biting harm.
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Much infection doth thou bring me!
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Thy flesh decays so mightily!
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Thy flesh decays so mightily!
Each flap of skin doth gray a bit,
That makes the whole group smell like s!@+.
O zombie horde, O zombie horde,
Thy flesh decays so mightily!
|
|
Oh, smurfing smurf! Not that smurf, again. That smurf belongs in another smurfing thread. This is thread is for smurfing Christmas songs!
Oh...wait...those ARE smurfing Christmas songs. Carry on.
Here comes Papa Smurf,
Here comes Papa Smurf,Right down Papa Smurf Lane,
Smurfette and Brainy and all his Smurfs
Pullin' up the rear.
Bells are ringin', children singin',
All is merry and bright.
So hang your stockings and say your prayers,
'Cause Papa Smurf comes tonight.
Here comes Papa Smurf,
Here comes Papa Smurf
Right down Papa Smurf Lane,
He's got a bag that's filled with toys
For boys and girls again.
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
So jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Papa Smurf comes tonight.
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas and a Happy Campaign!
Good modules we bring to you and your group;
Good modules for Christmas and a Happy Campaign!
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos;
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos;
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos and a bag of good die!
We won't go until we game some;
We won't go until we game some;
We won't go until we game some,'til the morning is nigh!
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas and a Happy Campaign!
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas and a Happy Campaign!
Good modules we bring to you and your group;
Good modules for Christmas and a Happy Campaign!Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos;
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos;
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos and a bag of good die!
We won't go until we game some;
We won't go until we game some;
We won't go until we game some, so game some all nightWe wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
We wish you a Fawtly Christmas and a Happy Campaign!** spoiler omitted **
Who are you trying to kid? This is a good one!
Who are you trying to kid? This is a good one!We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
lalalalalalala** spoiler omitted **
Lol, well I ment
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos and a bag of good die!lala
lala
We won't go until we game some, so game some all night
doesnt really work cause die and night dont rhyme, but I couldnt think of anything else.;3
Who are you trying to kid? This is a good one!We wish you a Fawtly Christmas;
lalalalalalala** spoiler omitted **
Lol, well I ment
Oh, bring us the Lords of Chaos and a bag of good die!
lala
lala
We won't go until we game some, so game some all night
doesnt really work cause die and night dont rhyme, but I couldnt think of anything else.;3
You could always go for gaming 'til the morning is nigh. ;P