Marathon Voter Season 6
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Hello Everyone,
Now that I've happily completed my item, I thought I'd post a handful of things that I've learned through the process of trying to craft a wondrous item that may help fellow competitors. This is my first year contesting and so I've pretty much gone over every thread I could to work out what the judges want to see. I'm hoping like everyone that I've got something that will attract the judge's attention but realistically, I think it's going to be a struggle with so many strong performers entering. I hope the following helps:
- Toughness. Making top 32 this year is going to be real tough. More than any other year, competitors have a good idea of what not to do. This means differentiating your item from the rest is more important than in previous years.
- Focus. Have your item do a single thing and do it really well. Diluting an idea with extra "things" muddies the impression it gives the judges. If you need to add more things to your item to make it better, then it wasn't good enough in the first place and adding those extra elements is not going to change that. This should also keep your word count down.
- Language. Neil gives some excellent advice for active versus passive voice in last year's Crystal Chalice of Dawnflower Dew thread as does Sean in auto-reject #10. If you have a look through some of the rejected items threads, you can see another important language issue that people were getting tripped on: clarity and concision. Suet-thick prose filled with lots of big words makes for terrible wondrous item reading (and more than likely reading in general). Yes this is fantasy. Yes this involves writing. But expressing in simple terms what your item does and what it looks like is best. Flowery/pretentious prose weakens more than strengthens a submission. Another element of language important for the contest is knowing the jargon in the core rulebook. Know and understand how certain elements are expressed and use that language in your own writing.
- Elegance. This is the holy grail of design and is equally difficult to achieve. If you find your item has too many exceptions to too many rules, then you're kludging your entry with unneeded complexity. Elegant rules on the other hand present fewer corner cases and describe more situations with simple statements. This becomes more difficult when trying to break new ground with items that haven't been seen before.
- Familiarity. If you are like me, you have become way too familiar with your item; you have lost the ability to freshly analyze it. Receiving feedback from just about anyone helps immensely. However, breaking your description down sentence by sentence really helps. Write out every question that the sentence answers with the answer it provides. This way, you directly see what your language is expressing. It will help you note gaps or confusion in rules application as well as where you have over-emphasized a particular element, or under-described another. It also highlights what is filler and what is essential. Be ruthless in cutting away the fat and stick to the meat of your description.
- Be direct. In previous years, reading some rejected entries has been like wading through thickened soup trying to find out what the item actually does. Be direct and state with no confusion what your wondrous item does. This is the most important element in your description so make sure it's easy to find (usually right in the starting sentence) and simply expressed. If an item is weak sauce or not superstar material, doing this will feel a little awkward and exposed and thus be a good sign that your item is not up to scratch. Hiding it's purpose amongst the description is a sure sign your wondrous item is not superstar. At the same time, if you can't express the core of what your item does in one sentence, then perhaps the item is too complex or muddied in purpose.
Anyway, I hope you find my experiences above of some use and best of luck everyone in capturing a top 32 spot.
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise
Nice job.
I'd like to mirror what Crowface and SKR have already said, this is some excellent advice, very well thought out and to the point.
You sir, I believe, have what it takes to be a "Superstar".
Regards,
Dean; The_Minstrel_Wyrm
Great advice Herremann.
Last year I did an experiment in which I reviewed all the items in the feedback thread, an effort I might offer do redo this year., and compiled some thoughts about item design for this contest.
Would anyone be interested in a revised repost of my observations during the experiment?
Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Great advice Herremann.
Last year I did an experiment in which I reviewed all the items in the feedback thread, an effort I might offer do redo this year., and compiled some thoughts about item design for this contest.
Would anyone be interested in a revised repost of my observations during the experiment?
Yes
off to revising then ;)
Last year I did an experiment in which I reviewed all the items in the feedback thread, an effort I might offer do redo this year., and compiled some thoughts about item design for this contest.
Would anyone be interested in a revised repost of my observations during the experiment?
See? This is like Reason #4,714 why I freakin' LOVE these message boards. We don't bicker (so terribly much), we don't whine (most of us), we're helpful and we share insights and feedback and suggestions and the ModGods are actually COOL, HELPFUL PEOPLE that are legends in the field that have a reason to speak with authority because they SHOULD know it because they WROTE it and
*sigh*
I love you guys.
Sorry. Done now. Back to my regularly scheduled curmudgeoning.
Must admit I am with That Old Guy on this one. These boards are the most helpful and friendly boards I have been too. So that me say thank you to everyone from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high for it takes a full community effort to make message boards such as this enjoyable for all.
Peace out and Happy Holidays to all.
Azmahel was an absolute machine last year in the feedback thread. Yeoman work.
- Be direct. In previous years, reading some rejected entries has been like wading through thickened soup trying to find out what the item actually does. Be direct and state with no confusion what your wondrous item does. This is the most important element in your description so make sure it's easy to find (usually right in the starting sentence) and simply expressed. If an item is weak sauce or not superstar material, doing this will feel a little awkward and exposed and thus be a good sign that your item is not up to scratch. Hiding it's purpose amongst the description is a sure sign your wondrous item is not superstar. At the same time, if you can't express the core of what your item does in one sentence, then perhaps the item is too complex or muddied in purpose.
I can testify to this point. If you look at entries for other wondrous items found in the Core Rulebook, they are designed to be easily read and understood by players and DMs who are likely referencing them during gameplay, where time and efficiency count the most. My wondrous item entry for last year's RPG Superstar was a bit rambling in execution, which I'm sure did not help my chances of being selected by a judge. This year my entry was much more sleek. Let me tell you, it is night-and-day in terms of readability and comprehension.
Please don't reference any specifics that went into your wondrous item design...particularly word counts. This early in the submission process, I'd hate for anyone to self-identify their item and remove the anonymity from the judging process.
My wondrous item entry for last year's RPG Superstar was a bit rambling in execution, which I'm sure did not help my chances of being selected by a judge. This year my entry was...Please don't reference any specifics that went into your wondrous item design...particularly word counts. This early in the submission process, I'd hate for anyone to self-identify their item and remove the anonymity from the judging process.
Fixed, and thanks for the advice. Could you perhaps artfully delete the information in the quote from your message?
Fixed, and thanks for the advice. Could you perhaps artfully delete the information in the quote from your message?
Done.
Grab the attention
The judges will be reviewing many items in each session. When I was doing the experiment my sessions were about 20-30 items long and I think the judges session will me longer, because:
1.They are professionals
2.There are simply so many items to review
3.They don't need to compile an analysis and feedback for every single item
But even with 20 to 30 items per session it was pretty easy for an item to get lost in the masses.
Before each session I went back over the previous pages to see if i missed some items the last time around and nearly every time I thought I missed at least one, only to find it in my notes.
But with this contest you don't want to blend with the crowd, you want to stand out. Your item has to stick in the Judges minds, if you want them to fight for it and keep advancing it.
How to?
The most important thing when it comes to remembering your item would be its name.
It's the first the Judges will see of your item. Its an invitation, its a promise, it sets the tone and the mood for your item. Your item will be remembered and referenced by its name, so make sure it's awesome. The worst that can happen to you is that a Judge likes your items effects but can't remember its name, because „it can't be that good after all, if I can't even remember the name“.
It also makes your item stick out of the crowd. Its can be a pink shock of hair that just keeps drawing curious looks.
But also remember: Your items name is a promise, better deliver on it.
Your item needs an effect that makes someone who reads it think about it, and keep thinking about it. It needs to stick in the Judges' minds (in a positive light), if you want it to stick around the contest.
Don't give them a reason
Or enough of a reason at least.
The contest is on a tight deadline and there are unbelievable masses of items to judge.
But the real task is to weed out about the top 30% until there are only 32 left. This are the items which will get fully analyzed. But before that you have to find these items which might have a real shot at the top. In this phase, if a Judge sees your item and notices a mistake that isn't alleviate by its awesomeness he will be quick to hit „reject“.
How to?
There is plenty of advice bout what to do and what not to do on these boards already. Read it. And think about it. Try to understand, why the advice is there. For example the SiaC piece of advice is not there because items based on Spells are bad, but because items that just duplicate spells don't show your design-talent. If you don't do anything new the Judges have no reason to keep you.
Double check your item for all mistakes. Check formating, check rules terms, check the contest rules,check your rules, check your math, check the wordcount, check the hook (what keeps someone reading this item from forgetting about it or saying “Meh!” and leaving it.), check your language. Even better: double check them. Have someone else check them too!
Focus and Clarity
Again, the Judges won't spend much time with your item before you make it in the initial keep pile.
So if your item is ambiguous, or it is hard to get what your item actually does the judge will be more likely to leave your item alone than to spend that extra time trying to figure it out.
How to?
The best thing to avoid this pitfall is to have someone else, preferably someone who has a very firm grasp of the rules and someone who hasn't. Also having a tight theme helps. Because often thematic and mechanic ambiguity go hand in hand.
Don't go overboard with your mechanics. Try to make something new and interesting, but with elegant and simple rules.
Don't drive too safe
Well, simply put this is rpg-SUPERSTAR, not make an item for the big-book-of-items-of-the-month. „good but not good enough“ was one of the most common feedbacks people got from the judges chamber in the last years. Only the best 32 items will advance and those items will be the ones that Wowed the judges the most, which they simply couldn't let go, and kept coming back to. If this means breaking some of the advises or being mechanically imperfect it will be good. Many items with errors, bad mechanics or wrong pricing have made the top 32. But not one item that was mechanically perfect, avoided all the auto-reject advice, and priced spot on, but was boring or even only rather bland else has made it.
Your item needs strong reasons to keep it. Those reasons can negate other things that might speak against your item, but if there isn't a reason to keep it to begin with you are right out.
„Mojo“ and „Gonzo“ are terms that keep coming up during the contest, and they to a certain degree both mean the same thing: The spark of creativity and innovativeness that marks a great designer. This spark is what the judges are really looking for. Like Sean already said at least once: everybody can be taught to adhere to style guidelines, and most balancing guidelines, but the spark is something that simply cannot be taught.
How to?
Here's the line that makes or breaks a Superstar, something that can't be learned, just trained.
Brainstorming helps, as does creating tons of items. One thing you will want to have is at least one identifying feature that will set you apart from all other items. Something unique. If a similar item crops up one of you will likely be dropped. In that case you want to be the one with the cool feature that the judges just don't want to keep.
Take a look at the existing rules, but try to look for the things that aren't there. What has not been done before? And Why? How can you re-imagine something that is already there to create something fresh and unique? Don't be too afraid to do something that might be broken, try to do something that sparks Imagination, something that makes people want to do something with your item. No matter what, recraft it, use it, buy it, Spin a plot around it, create other versions, whatever sets you apart and keeps the item in their minds.
If you want to see all the results of last years efforts, simply look here: my lists
You might also find some inspiration in the "training items" I did over the course of the year
megapost of epic info-hash
Az, what I want (realistically, you know, beyond a big job offer and a moving truck from Paizo) most from this contest this year is a bolded tagline after my name on these boards.
What I want second most is the same thing for you. I love the way your brain works (and the fact that you can dedicate the time and effort to making posts like this one).
A is awesome :)
megapost of epic info-hashAz, what I want (realistically, you know, beyond a big job offer and a moving truck from Paizo) most from this contest this year is a bolded tagline after my name on these boards.
What I want second most is the same thing for you. I love the way your brain works (and the fact that you can dedicate the time and effort to making posts like this one).
Well, there is a upside of needing a tad longer to get my degree, and being able to finish my 38h a week sidejob in about 10 ;). That is having a lot of free time.
Besides if I want to advance in this contest I absolutely have to train my language skills, hence these efforts. (not so selfless after all ;) )
But don't worry, I will get this tag. If not this year, next year for sure.
Glad you like my adivce. :)
I, too, hope to continue competing with you, Azmahel. You're advice is always solid and well thought out. You strike me as the type of individual who I would NOT enjoy playing Axis & Allies against (I need to win ONCE in a while). Good luck to you. Last year's near miss bodes well for your chances in 2011!
I, too, hope to continue competing with you, Azmahel. You're advice is always solid and well thought out. You strike me as the type of individual who I would NOT enjoy playing Axis & Allies against (I need to win ONCE in a while). Good luck to you. Last year's near miss bodes well for your chances in 2011!
Playtesting against Azmahel isn't much fun as well ;->
Although, he mostly won due to economy of actions.....
I, too, hope to continue competing with you, Azmahel. You're advice is always solid and well thought out. You strike me as the type of individual who I would NOT enjoy playing Axis & Allies against (I need to win ONCE in a while). Good luck to you. Last year's near miss bodes well for your chances in 2011!Playtesting against Azmahel isn't much fun as well ;->
Although, he mostly won due to economy of actions.....
BWAHAHAHA
Economy of actions is the greatest weapon in every Party's arsenal. ;)
I, too, hope to continue competing with you, Azmahel. You're advice is always solid and well thought out. You strike me as the type of individual who I would NOT enjoy playing Axis & Allies against (I need to win ONCE in a while). Good luck to you. Last year's near miss bodes well for your chances in 2011!Playtesting against Azmahel isn't much fun as well ;->
Although, he mostly won due to economy of actions.....
BWAHAHAHA
Economy of actions is the greatest weapon in every Party's arsenal. ;)
Dear Evil Item Reviewer,
I regret to inform you that the greatest weapon in every party's arsenal is actually a succubus with 20 levels of Bard riding a dinosaur, which covers pretty much every possible emergency that may arise whilst adventuring.Of course not all parties happen to possess such a weapon, not least because she sometimes backfires on parties which fail to congratulate aformentioned bard sufficiently for saving the party's collective butts yet again in a crisis.
However confusing economy of action with such a succubus is a mistake which - from the frequency with which it is made - I can only conclude is apparently very easy for mortals to make.
Hoping that you have found this correction useful.
Yours,
Ask A Succubus.
I, too, hope to continue competing with you, Azmahel. You're advice is always solid and well thought out. You strike me as the type of individual who I would NOT enjoy playing Axis & Allies against (I need to win ONCE in a while). Good luck to you. Last year's near miss bodes well for your chances in 2011!Playtesting against Azmahel isn't much fun as well ;->
Although, he mostly won due to economy of actions.....
BWAHAHAHA
Economy of actions is the greatest weapon in every Party's arsenal. ;)
Dear Evil Item Reviewer,
I regret to inform you that the greatest weapon in every party's arsenal is actually a succubus with 20 levels of Bard riding a dinosaur, which covers pretty much every possible emergency that may arise whilst adventuring.
Of course not all parties happen to possess such a weapon, not least because she sometimes backfires on parties which fail to congratulate aformentioned bard sufficiently for saving the party's collective butts yet again in a crisis.
However confusing economy of action with such a succubus is a mistake which - from the frequency with which it is made - I can only conclude is apparently very easy for mortals to make.
Hoping that you have found this correction useful.
Yours,
Ask A Succubus.
Dear Ask A Succubus,
I am sorry, so very, very sorry. It is inconceivable that I made this mistake. It might be due to the lack of Dinosaur-riding 20th level Bard Succubi in my parties. A shortcoming I will be correcting at the next opportunity.Let me correct my foolish comment.
If your enemy also has a Dinosaur riding 20th level bard succubus among his assets, Economy of actions will be your best bet on defeating him.
If however, for whatever foolish reason, YOU don't have a Dinosaur-riding 20th level bard succubus on your side, there is no need in running let alone fighting. You best bet is offering her designer shoes oder other profane gifts. If you manage to please her she might spare you.
Yours,
Evil Item Reviewer
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Star Voter Season 6
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What happens when the 20th level Inquisitor Incubus riding a dire wereshark and wearing sharkskin boots shows up?
The Elan psion 10/Thrallherd 10 Manifests an overchannled Dominate and adds her to the family :P
What happens when the 20th level Inquisitor Incubus riding a dire wereshark and wearing sharkskin boots shows up?The Elan psion 10/Thrallherd 10 Manifests an overchannled Dominate and adds her to the family :P
. . . HA HA HA! That would be scary!