Godzilla vs. Cthulhu


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The king is here, now feel your fear. There can be only one.

His grin dripped with red as he walked from the place where the traitor lost both his name and his face. He walked through the halls and the corridors stinking in blood. He tasted his grin and it tasted good.

Ripped open he died, and with his final breath he hailed the king. His head had been taken; dreams left broken and dead.

Screams echo loud. All hail the king!

Into the dirt, his will be done. Now feel your fear.

Silver Crusade

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If a crazy Norwegian dude in a boat could knock his block off(yeah yeah, "stars weren't right", whateva), Godzilla can damn well stomp Cthulhu down. Enjoy your radiation, Squidsworth.

Of course this leaves us with the possibility of a Godzilla driven to insanity unleashed upon the world, but that's why we keep Jet Jaguar around.

....he hasn't been mothballed, has he?

The Exchange

Wasn't there a module that once said, sure you could nuke Cthulhu but then he would be pissed off and radioactive?


None of this is sciencific, and therefore, merely anicdotal conjerkture.


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I think it was Cthulhu Today where it said if you nuke Cthulhu, he comes back in something like 30 minutes and radioactive.


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Lorm Dragonheart wrote:
I think it was Cthulhu Today where it said if you nuke Cthulhu, he comes back in something like 30 minutes and radioactive.

So, a dead Cthulhu equals a Godzilla? Cool.


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I don't know . . . if Jaime Lannister can beat him, I'm sure Godzilla can do it:

Jaime Lannister versus Cthulhu

Silver Crusade

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Turn on the lightbulb and Mothra will come flying in to save the day!


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Chubbs McGee wrote:
Turn on the lightbulb and Mothra will come flying in to save the day!

Nah everyone knows he is Robert Smith from The Cure.


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Godzilla looks like a b~+&! to me.

Shadow Lodge

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Godzilla got defeated by a large butterfly.

Silver Crusade

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Kthulhu wrote:
Godzilla got defeated by a large butterfly.

Godzilla is a chivalrous sort who would never cause undo harm to a lady.

He is also a loving father.


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Kthulhu wrote:
Godzilla got defeated by a large butterfly.

> Butterfly? <

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Maps, Pawns Subscriber

The stars have not yet been right for the dead dreamer to wake. So are we talking dead dreaming cthulhu or awake cthulhu vs godzilla?

Wait, I do not think it matters. My money is on the great old ones! There are no cults of godzilla to help spread his will after all. :)


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The King of the Monsters does not need a cult to spread his will.


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Cool...gotta root for my main lizard Godzilla, don't ya know.


Puff the Magic Dragon wrote:
Cool...gotta root for my main lizard Godzilla, don't ya know.

CAWTHULHU!!!!!!!

Silver Crusade

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As long as we have Mintberry Crunch on our side, Cthulhu doesn't stand a chance.

Shadow Lodge

Cthulhu devours 1d6 radioactive mutants per round.


Sure, Godzilla has that cool song by Blue Oyster Cult, but "There goes Tokyo" is nothing compared to "There goes the entire human race."

Shadow Lodge

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Godzilla is multicultural though, having attacked both New York and Japan.

Godzilla gets my vote.

Liberty's Edge

The point is moot, because Courage Wolf wins.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

In what sort of a contest are we pitting these monstrosities? Personally, I'd like to see them in an Iron Chef competition.

We all know Godzilla can serve up a healthy b_tt-kicking, but how well does he cook? The King of Monsters, of course, can provide his own heat, and nothing charbroils a Hedorah like atomic fire breath left on a slow burn. He's also got the advantage of hailing from a region known for its delicious cuisine.

Cthulhu, on the other hand crossed vast gulfs of time and space to finally come to rest in Earth's Pacific Ocean so he's got an eternity of experience and he's no doubt feasted upon the most succulent squirming masses of screaming, mortal fleshpockets the cosmos has to offer. All those tentacles might also give him an edge when it comes to multi-tasking in the kitchen.


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Billzabub wrote:
Sure, Godzilla has that cool song by Blue Oyster Cult, but "There goes Tokyo" is nothing compared to "There goes the entire human race."

The indiscriminant destroyer is hardly an artist.


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Godzilla vs. Cthulhu equals calamari.


Godzilla wins... cuz Cthulhu is:
1. Fictional
2. Hard to pronounce
3. Sounds suspiciously like Kajagoogoo

Liberty's Edge

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Okay, now hear me out... what if Cthulhu and Godzilla had a baby?


... And LO, Ryan Seacrest was born!

Silver Crusade

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stormraven wrote:

Godzilla wins... cuz Cthulhu is:

1. Fictional
2. Hard to pronounce
3. Sounds suspiciously like Kajagoogoo

I was not aware that Godzilla was real? Next we are going to have giant moths and turtles wandering our capital cities as well...

If they fight in Tokyo, Godzilla would have a home ground advantage. My money is on Cthulu. He would eat Godzilla for breakfast... Literally!


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Chubbs McGee wrote:
I was not aware that Godzilla was real?

Your ignorance is astounding. Fortunately, Godzilla is a kind and loving, albeit clumsy, God and he forgives you for your disbelief. The important thing is that He believes in you. Amen.


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Chubbs McGee wrote:
stormraven wrote:

Godzilla wins... cuz Cthulhu is:

1. Fictional
2. Hard to pronounce
3. Sounds suspiciously like Kajagoogoo

I was not aware that Godzilla was real? Next we are going to have giant moths and turtles wandering our capital cities as well...

If they fight in Tokyo, Godzilla would have a home ground advantage. My money is on Cthulu. He would eat Godzilla for breakfast... Literally!

If they fight in Washington, DC, though, Cthulhu wins.

Looking at how our government is run, DC has to be just another name for R'lyeh.

Shadow Lodge

Godzilla is Chaotic Neutral

Silver Crusade

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stormraven wrote:
Your ignorance is astounding. Fortunately, Godzilla is a kind and loving, albeit clumsy, God and he forgives you for your disbelief. The important thing is that He believes in you. Amen.

I am so lucky I am not due to go back to Tokyo until next April. I can placate the Great Godzilla for my blasphemous words!

Thank you Stormraven! :D


Out of topic but how is it that when monsters fight in Tokyo, the city is rebuilt perfectly the very next day?

The Exchange

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The Roy wrote:
Out of topic but how is it that when monsters fight in Tokyo, the city is rebuilt perfectly the very next day?

Nanites, those Japanese scientists are wonder workers.


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The Roy wrote:
Out of topic but how is it that when monsters fight in Tokyo, the city is rebuilt perfectly the very next day?

Evidently you've never heard of Kaiju Contracting, Godzilla CEO.

It's the perfect racket: Knock 'em down. Build 'em back up. Repeat. :)


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Chubbs McGee wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Your ignorance is astounding. Fortunately, Godzilla is a kind and loving, albeit clumsy, God and he forgives you for your disbelief. The important thing is that He believes in you. Amen.

I am so lucky I am not due to go back to Tokyo until next April. I can placate the Great Godzilla for my blasphemous words!

Thank you Stormraven! :D

You are welcome, my child. Remember, he is called GOD-zilla for a reason!

The Exchange

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stormraven wrote:
Chubbs McGee wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Your ignorance is astounding. Fortunately, Godzilla is a kind and loving, albeit clumsy, God and he forgives you for your disbelief. The important thing is that He believes in you. Amen.

I am so lucky I am not due to go back to Tokyo until next April. I can placate the Great Godzilla for my blasphemous words!

Thank you Stormraven! :D

You are welcome, my child. Remember, he is called GOD-zilla for a reason!

*Groan*


Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

In either event, let us put the matter to rest...

Godzilla's got his own theme song!

Liberty's Edge

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stormraven wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

In either event, let us put the matter to rest...

Godzilla's got his own theme song!

Cthulhu's theme song is too hard to sing. That alone helps Godzilla win.

The Exchange

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stormraven wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

Yes ;)

Silver Crusade

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Studpuffin wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

In either event, let us put the matter to rest...

Godzilla's got his own theme song!

Cthulhu's theme song is too hard to sing. That alone helps Godzilla win.

I'm still trying to figure out how to pronounce fthaghn.

Shadow Lodge

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Studpuffin wrote:
Cthulhu's theme song is too hard to sing.

You LIE!

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Maps, Pawns Subscriber
Celestial Healer wrote:
Studpuffin wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

In either event, let us put the matter to rest...

Godzilla's got his own theme song!

Cthulhu's theme song is too hard to sing. That alone helps Godzilla win.
I'm still trying to figure out how to pronounce fthaghn.

That one is easy... :D

fa-Tah'-gun

Godzilla has no fishmen. Godzilla has no cultists. Godzilla has no shuggoths or fungi from yuggoth. How would that color blind beast even see the color from outer space? Godzilla does not have the city of Arkham or Innsmouth wrapped around his finger.

Godzilla is a one trick pony. Even his threat is not as big as Cthulhu. Godzilla -I will destroy Tokyo (again). Cthulhu -Iwill destroy humanity in such a spendid and mind shattering way that you will want to serve me so i can offer you the boon of being destroyed first.


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Sigil wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Studpuffin wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
*Groan*

Do I smell HERESY or merely a hatred of terrible jokes?

In either event, let us put the matter to rest...

Godzilla's got his own theme song!

Cthulhu's theme song is too hard to sing. That alone helps Godzilla win.
I'm still trying to figure out how to pronounce fthaghn.

That one is easy... :D

fa-Tah'-gun

Godzilla has no fishmen. Godzilla has no cultists. Godzilla has no shuggoths or fungi from yuggoth. How would that color blind beast even see the color from outer space? Godzilla does not have the city of Arkham or Innsmouth wrapped around his finger.

Godzilla does not need silly underlings. And in any event none could ever meet his high standards.

Gozilla does not wrap cities around his finger; he crushes them under his foot.

Godzilla does not need to see more than two colors; he orders the others to become black or white and they obey.

Cuthulhu is stuck in a box- a box that he is afraid to open because he might break the oh-so-pretty seal on the door. He is afraid he will get spanked again and told to stand in the corner, er, recline on the bottom of the sea.

And what has Cthulhu ever done, anyway? He has driven a few individuals off their rockers. Big deal. Show me a city he has destroyed or an army he has routed. Until then, he is just a big sea anemone with an overblown reputation.


Godzilla's stock piles of nuclear energy must be difficult to funnel. Kabloomers... destruction... oops, was that your city?


After the little octopussy's won a few preliminary bouts, the King might deign to wipe the sea floor with him. Until then, you squid-in-the-mouthpieces had best show some respect.


Wait, what do you mean Godzilla doesn't have a cult?!? Dude, then what cult have I been going to?


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Clearly you have been attending the Church of MECHA-Godzilla. You want the Church of Godzilla on 4th and Union. The Mecha church is on 5TH.


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Cthulhu has mindflayers.
Godzilla has Godzookey, the Scrappy Doo of monster sidekicks.
Snarf snarf!

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