The Next Poster...


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That would be me. Don't worry, I don't pity you guys for being inferior. Much.

The next poster is organizing something.


An evolution race. So we can all catch up with Sissyl.

The next poster considers evolution to be for losers.


Perfection is created, not evolved.

The next poster refuses to change.


What can I say? I am not only superior... I am also Perfect. As in, no improvement needed, asked for, or indeed even possible. Why would I want to change?

The next poster can think of a reason.


Its good to be bad, if you know what I mean.

The next poster is bad bad.

Liberty's Edge

(Proceeds to show up in full biker gear on a badass motorcycle, shtogun ironly gripped between his buttcheeks. HE steps off, takes off his sunglasses... and kicks a puppy.) I realized he said good bad.

The next poster was scammed by their housing Realtor.

Shadow Lodge

Yeah I was. She said I could flip this house easily, but I can only lift the thing about a foot off the ground before I have to set it back down. 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (18) + 9 = 27

The next poster is still gripped by the irony of lucky7's buttcheeks.

Dark Archive

Gotta get my shotgun...

The next poster has called 911 over the past week, none of which were actual emergencies.


I had to see what it would do. However, since I live in Australia where the emergency number is 000 it did very little.

The next person has come to Australia, met the local wildlife, and reckons anyone who lives here is crazy.


Yeah. Seriously... That was an awesomely ugly sheep. We're talking majorly contagious uglyfest here. For the sake of human beauty, you guys really ought to emigrate. What's that? A baby? You serious? Okay, everyone, forget I said anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

The next poster has a magic bullet solution for the endless evening slog through alphabet soup cop shows.

Liberty's Edge

Just put those actors, directors, and producers in and, whammo! All gone, and you have a great beverage!

The next poster has comically failed at life.


(sniff) They... they just won't recognize that I've posted... and... (sniff) that I won because of it. *drops a man in mouth with tentacle, insert Wilhelm scream* (munch munch- talking with mouth full) I guess I'll live with only half a win.

The next poster will justify kicking a puppy.


She is out there, people. The Hellpuppy of DOOOM. Her plans for world domination are falling into place, aiming to turn the Earth into Teletubbyland with humans as the bunnies and core component of the smiley pies... Be watchful, lest we all end up there...

The next poster has a reason to like Teletubbies.


They can induce euphoric calm in would-be loud children. If that's not a good reason to you, please apply for babysitting. The world needs you.

The next poster knows the what the current capital of Assyria is, and will babysit.

Liberty's Edge

Nineveh, and only for teenage boys.

The next poster is a wizard/sorceror hybrid.


Yes. Ultimate Magus had some execution issues, but the main idea rocked. The next poster desperately needs to get a familiar.

Dark Archive

I'm thinking a penis devil of guatemala. +2 on proffession (courtesan) checks.

The next poster has my problems, and I have theirs.


oh god.

next poster will get me a PC upgrade so I can play Planetside 2.

Liberty's Edge

We can be buddies!

The next poster will be my buddy too.


Only if you give me your lunch money.

The next poster is behind in their campaign planning.


Yeah, I am actually... I keep getting distracted by shiny objects.

Normally, the next poster would be dead now. he'll tell us how he survived.

Scarab Sages

In one word: SPITE.

The next poster hasn't had any Internet access for at least 3 months...

...so how are they posting? *doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo....*

Liberty's Edge

I am using a friend's computer. My friend is a butler.

The next poster will reveal their innermost secret.


I'm Batman.

The next poster hates working for the Green Lantern Corps.


Yeah, those guys are a bunch of rules lawyers. Just try and play a decent game of pathfinder with them, I dare you.

The next poster works for MI6, the FBI, the CIA, ASIO, the universal brotherhood, Ares macrotechnology, the pathfinder society, the SS, and the YMCA. They are completely loyal to all of these organizations.

The Exchange

Yes. Yes I am. They pay me not to interfere.

The next poster tries to convince me to betray them all.

Scarab Sages

How's 40 pieces of Roman silver sound? With nearly 2000 years of interest, that's....

The next poster's favorite book of the Scriptures is the Gospel of Knuckles, and will share at least 3 of their favorite passages.


Indeed.
The first scripture is from the book of A-team.
35: And the landover did speak unto the mercenaries, deriding their efforts. In response, BA broke his jaw, fool!

My second favorite is from the story of the reporter, in the book of mass effect.
404: And the Shepard spake thus, 'I have had enough of your tabloid journalism' and with a mighty blow sent the reporter flying.

My final quote comes from the book of the dark knight.
9001: 'I'm batman!'

The next poster is a rogue AI.


It's true. There will be testing, now. After the testing, there will be cake.

The next poster hasn't been doing enough testing to meet testing quotas.


SATs, hahaha!

next poster will give me the answer sheet.

Liberty's Edge

To last years test. CHEATING IS WRONG!

The next poster just killed the mood.


Street children. Glue.

The next poster sees life on the bright side.


The very bright side, it's called being a pyromaniac.

Next poster likes my fires.


smurf. enough said

next poster will kill whoever made this program.


Kill it, kill it with fire!!

Next poster didn't want whoever made this program to be killed.


you know, I think that wish was a bit of a suicide request...

next poster will spare me.

Liberty's Edge

...I'll kill your fake girlfriend instead!

The next poster is posting from beyond the grave.


It definitely feels like it, but at least I have wifi here.

Next poster needs a hairdryer for odd reasons

Liberty's Edge

My pubes are just so damp...

The next poster will go get the Crisco.


It's the secret to my fried chicken recipe.

The next poster wants this thread locked.


STUPID THREAD.

the next poster will give me a remote controlled rocket launcher.

Liberty's Edge

Merry Christmas, Billy. (THANKS DAD)

The next poster will eat their oats howsoever they please.


I like my oats to be feeded to me by a cute guy.

The next poster had an brilliant dinner.

Liberty's Edge

Hobbs Sushi!

The next poster is going to say something about all this foolishness.


.......

..............

Liberty's Edge

Oh no she didn't!

The next poster believes that the Patriots will win the world series, and will tell us why.


Of course they will. One word: Laxatives.

The next poster has had a change of heart.

Liberty's Edge

I guess world destruction is out.

The next poster has a viable alternative.


World domination. All you need is a clipboard, a decent but not too expensive suit, and the appearance that you're supposed to be there. It's how I've taken over half of the goverments on the planet so far.

The next poster has been using subtle and advanced method for thwarting me, and will tell us what it is.


space lasers.

The next poster will give me the last lense I need to make the laser.

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