The Next Poster...


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My name is Sylvyana Silvanos.
You have burned my daughter.
Prepare to die!

The next poster will be my avenging sword.


of course!! I feel for your loss... allow me to help with your grief!
*eliminates everyone involved except himself, but deletes all data indicating his involvement*

The next poster is the last surviving witness to my double-agentry


*Has been quietly, invisibly recording the whole thing, and uploading it to Iron Federation archives*

The next poster has a productive use for the recording


1 person marked this as a favorite.

You could watch it and discover that I am still here, transmuted into a statue. Help!

The next poster knows how to solve my little pidgeon problem.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

*Drops her into the sea depths where no pidgeon can reach her*

I'm sick at all these idiots wanting statues of themselves. As we didn't have enough with their faces...

The next poster found the submerged statue by accident.


I was swimming along looking for treasures from sunken ships when I found this valuable work of art. I pulled it from the mud, and now it sits in my hoard. I prefer treasure that can not be pocketed.

The next poster has a way to pocket my new found treausre.


Giant pockets man!!
See? I know things dude...

The next poster will, like, change the subject man, like, what's up with that??


Two words: Infinity Trousers.

The next poster would like to inform us as to what's worn under the Infinity Kilt.


A deck of many things (do not draw a card!)

The next poster has used suspenders for more than what they are intended for, and will share his experience.


It is a blue, silk infinity ribbon, tied into a bow around the bonny star the infinity kilt did lift and show.

I don't where the next poster's been, but said poster won first prize.


I was at the penis contest. They judged my penis.

The next poster also knows how to kill a punchline.


Just throw enough goblins at it and that nasty punchline should go away. At the very least, there'll be fewer goblins.

The next poster politely dissents.


We are always more goblins, never fewer.
*Throws bombs to the punchline anyway*

The next poster loves goblins.


Of course!! Delightfully malicious little buggers aren't they?

The next poster has a good plot involving Goblins!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I recruit a hoard of goblins to recover my statue of Queen Va'ardalia Silvanos, from Bookends giant pockets.

I did not forget you Queen Va'ardalia Silvanos. Well not completely.

The next poster leads a goblin rock band that performs in my lair in front of the statue of the queen.


WOO!! I'se Feels Like I'ms backs in me Punk-rocked Days!!

The Next poster hates the music...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

GOLEM-QUEEN VA'ARDALIA SYLVANOS LOVES MUSIC. GOLEM-QUEEN DESTROYS EVERYTHING WHILE SHE TRIES TO DANCE. PUNY PEOPLE THINKS SHE HATES MUSIC.

THE NEXT POSTER WILL DANCE WITH GOLEM-QUEEN VA'ARDALIA SYLVANOS.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

You put your right arm in

Your right arm out

In, out, in, out, until you've qualified to become a veterinary surgeon.

The next poster has a novel solution to the problem of pug (not Pulg) infertility.


viagra, for pugs...

It may work for Pulg as well...

The next poster dislikes this idea.


Were Pulg to imbibe Viagra, he would grow to twice his height and half again his circumference.

Which gives us a certain amount of insight into his nature.

The next poster may be somewhat alarmed to find out that Pulg is "happy to see them".

Dark Archive

BURNT HAIR SMELL BAD
NO TOUCH PULG

The next poster will spoil the plot of the last movie they saw.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Howard the Duck makes a cameo at the very end!

The next poster can communicate with the dead...via Twitter.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Going in style:
So three old guys rob a bank, and get away with it, all while one has no kidneys.

I'm no monster, I will allow others to spoil it. Decently funny, if you like old person jokes.

Edit!: Ninja'd! But, I ain't changing it.

The next poster dislikes old person jokes!


Poog heard too many jokes about old-people care homes, it not funny anymore.

Next pozter be Closet-clown's pupil of stealth around furniture.


Teach me oh master to not stub my toe in the dark and cry out in pain!

And I assure you, all the twitter ponies are speaking from their next incarnation.

The next poster is having even more trouble understanding some of these posts.


AM PINK SASKIA NOT CAN READ AT ALL. DRINK, SLAY, SHAG AND FART, SURE, BUT NO READ OR MAKE DRAW LITTLE WORD ON MAGIC SCREEN.

The next poster wants to know who wrote the sentence above if Pink Saskia is illiterate.


As a wise owl I want to know everything.

The next poster is the one who wrote the sentence for Saskia and for Nina (as owls cannot talk or write either). And he/she will explain why.


I wrote those words. Originally, it was for AM PINK SASKIA's resume. But not knowing what a resume is, AM PINK SASKIA instead posted here.

The next poster had a run-in with the Soup Nazi...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I made it through the line with my soup, but not my bread... two more weeks before I get bread. What is with that guy?

The next poster runs a coffee shop just outside of the Tomb of Horrors, and will explain why.


Any adventurer surviving that Tomb, needs a good cup of coffee for energy, and a 'special smoke' to relax their minds after the ordeal.

The next poster is associated with the Pizza Mafia.


It was just suppose to be a weekend job in High School, but I got in to deep.
Deep Dish Trouble

The next poster will share their conspiracy theory concerns.


I'm concerned that conspiracy theories have lost their punch and are now part of Home and Garden Television's regular programming.

The next poster will reveal the truth behind the most potent conspiracy in the history of the world.


Sinister Stan actually succeeded, not once, but twice at taking over the world, even outsmarting himself!! It was after that that someone cursed him to always announce his schemes, so that he wouldn't be so good at it anymore...

The next poster helped stop his latest attempt at world domination.

Scarab Sages

He was all set to get away with it, but then at the very last moment, I casually finished my banana and absent-mindedly tossed it on the ground just as he was running past...

...and then, seeing that the ensuing pratfall had shattered both his ankles, I replaced his feet with pinecones.

The next poster has misplaced their own shadow.


Yes, yes. Most annoying. Perhaps I shouldn't have enforce worship of both myself and my shadow. It seems to have struck out on its own. It can apparently even grant spells.

The next poster has a solution to my problem.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Somehow your shadow is back. You now actually have 4 shadows that don't match the light's direction.*

The next poster has a solution for Sissyl's new problem.


Those four shadows are obviously blasphemers to the worshipers of Sissyl's shadow, and those worshipers will happily destroy the false shadows for free!

The next poster only casually worships Sissyl's shadow.


I only use it to escape the gods-damned sun on sunny days, so as to keep my pale and delicate spotty complexion which makes me a favorite among gnomish undead babes.

The next poster understands that it's good to be bad !


Evil is just a misconception from narrow minds.

The next poster is beyond good and evil.


Now that I'm on the nature council, I'm just clearing the way for the other deities to create more.

The next poster has something new and interesting to discuss!


Aye, Yeah mate, I gottah bit of something that you might like to see. See I got this, state-of-the-art, telescoping sniper-rifle. It has laser-cannons mounted on its sides, and an electronic, night-vision enhanced scope, accurate to within 4 micrometers mate, also, comes equipped with armor-piercing bullets and a replacement x-ray scope as well. Enormous amounts of variety of use here mate, and it can all be yours for just a few low payments, under the radar of course. I won't tell you were I got it, if you don't ask, and we can just call that that.

The next poster is interested in this item.


But can it keep me from falling off the roof?

The next poster is Santa Klaus.


HO Ho HO Its like this one was meant for me.

The next poster is offended by my use of ho ho ho's


Sorry, man, but I'm of the «bros before hoes» kind, and there are too many hoes in your post.

The next poster lives up to another motto.


<It's good to be bad.>

The next poster knows the reference, and can share tactics of it.


While Ralph (who knows it's good to be bad) was wreckin' it (a dance move) to that Pentatonix song (good to be bad), not the Whitesnake song (good to be bad), he was interrupted by a Jaguar commercial (latest catchphrase is it's good to be bad) and thought, "I need to rotate my tires," (another dance move), and went all 'tactical' on the dance floor for the rest of the car commercial.

The next poster truly believes that you can mix oil and water.


Don't give my your "physic law" stuff. The bumble bee and I break the laws of physics.

The next poster broke a law recently, and it is bothering them for some reason they will share.


I murdered a drifter in order to achieve tumescence, but, looking back, I didn't really make it an experience that would send the drifter's soul howling through the after life, neither sane enough to find peace nor to appreciate punishment. He's probably just... dead. :sigh: Missed opportunities.

The next poster will state their preference for either Hall or Oates, and explain their answer using evidence from the text.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I cannot feed my horse on Hall, despite a) trying very hard and b) the fact that my horse is, in fact, a Maneater.

The next poster cannot decide between Seals and Crofts, and would like some help.

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