Off Topic Senate


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President pro tempore wrote:
Alice wrote:

I rise today to speak on behalf of the pro-humping coalition and respectfully point out to our esteemed President pro Tempore (emphasis on the Tempore) that no vote was actually taken on the measure to ban humping.

Winks, smiles, and fingerwaves at CourtFool and Aberzombie

Alice, lest I remind you that our appointment was at 2:05, you'd best get in my office before you do any finger waggling!

simpers

Yes sir, Mr. President pro Tem. But what about the vote?


Alice wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
Alice wrote:

I rise today to speak on behalf of the pro-humping coalition and respectfully point out to our esteemed President pro Tempore (emphasis on the Tempore) that no vote was actually taken on the measure to ban humping.

Winks, smiles, and fingerwaves at CourtFool and Aberzombie

Alice, lest I remind you that our appointment was at 2:05, you'd best get in my office before you do any finger waggling!

simpers

Yes sir, Mr. President pro Tem. But what about the vote?

Sorry, I have to review your political body first.


CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
What?! I demand satisfaction! *looks at one of the interns and winks at her* I might just get it.
Not if the humping ban is voted in.

Who said anything about humping?


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?

Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.


CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

*cough* right hand... *cough*


I like my seafood and vegetables battered and fried!


I'm having a movement...


...


*comes back out of his office*

Thanks for dealing with that... pressing matter.

*winks at Alice*

Now where was we? Oh right. Any of yall got any fuh-ther motions to be had?


President pro tempore wrote:
Samnell wrote:
Mr. President, I rise to demand that the minuscule population I represent be allocated ludicrous amounts of money we do not need for projects that are neither warranted, nor wise, nor sane, and wildly out of proportion to our small population, so that my constituents may not merely suck at the teat of the state but inhale the whole torso, swallow it, and begin in on consuming its limbs in the brief intervals between their complaints about runaway spending and welfare.
Denied, you're clearly a cult.

Help help! I'm being oppressed!


...


...


...


Done!


President pro tempura wrote:
...

Imposter! The real Pres Pro Tem would never be quiet!

Tases faux Presidente and drags from chambers


The Bailiff wrote:
President pro tempura wrote:
...

Imposter! The real Pres Pro Tem would never be quiet!

Tases faux Presidente and drags from chambers

Don't tase me broliff!


Samnell wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
Samnell wrote:
Mr. President, I rise to demand that the minuscule population I represent be allocated ludicrous amounts of money we do not need for projects that are neither warranted, nor wise, nor sane, and wildly out of proportion to our small population, so that my constituents may not merely suck at the teat of the state but inhale the whole torso, swallow it, and begin in on consuming its limbs in the brief intervals between their complaints about runaway spending and welfare.
Denied, you're clearly a cult.
Help help! I'm being oppressed!

Not nearly hard enough... ahem.

Anybody else got new business? If not, then we've got an upcoming vote on full length panty hose versus thigh highs. Which are better?


President pro tempura wrote:
The Bailiff wrote:
President pro tempura wrote:
...

Imposter! The real Pres Pro Tem would never be quiet!

Tases faux Presidente and drags from chambers

Don't tase me broliff!

Tases faux PPT again, solely for cruelty.

Sometimes I love my job.


The Bailiff wrote:
President pro tempura wrote:
...

Imposter! The real Pres Pro Tem would never be quiet!

Tases faux Presidente and drags from chambers

By Lincoln's beard, look at him sizzle! Yehaw!

*dances in delight*


President pro tempore wrote:
If not, then we've got an upcoming vote on full length panty hose versus thigh highs. Which are better?

The Poodle House votes thigh highs. They really do accentuate the leg.

The Exchange

Since this is a Senate and as such there will be bribes and such. The thieves guild humbly requests its cutbacks. Please.


CourtFool wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
If not, then we've got an upcoming vote on full length panty hose versus thigh highs. Which are better?
The Poodle House votes thigh highs. They really do accentuate the leg.

The Senate recognizes the poodle's good taste...

..much as it pains me to say that.


We may be guilty of a lot of things, but failing to recognize a good leg is not one of them.


President pro tempore wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
If not, then we've got an upcoming vote on full length panty hose versus thigh highs. Which are better?
The Poodle House votes thigh highs. They really do accentuate the leg.

The Senate recognizes the poodle's good taste...

..much as it pains me to say that.

Mr. President, what part of the poodle tastes so good? I'm willing to try, but I don't think I could polish off a whole one.


Samnell wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
If not, then we've got an upcoming vote on full length panty hose versus thigh highs. Which are better?
The Poodle House votes thigh highs. They really do accentuate the leg.

The Senate recognizes the poodle's good taste...

..much as it pains me to say that.

Mr. President, what part of the poodle tastes so good? I'm willing to try, but I don't think I could polish off a whole one.

Mr. Fool, would you please show that religious fanatic how one devours a poodle please.


CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.


lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

The Senate recognizes the gorgeous junior senator from the Jacks.

*wolf howls and thumps leg*


President pro tempore wrote:


Mr. Fool, would you please show that religious fanatic how one devours a poodle please.

Mr. President, if he does that I think the universe might explode.


President pro tempore wrote:
Mr. Fool, would you please show that religious fanatic how one devours a poodle please.

Tilts head to one side.

Spoiler:
Srsly? I can't even say the equivalent of male chicken?


CourtFool wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
Mr. Fool, would you please show that religious fanatic how one devours a poodle please.

Tilts head to one side.

** spoiler omitted **

The FCC done gotcha pup.


Samnell wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:


Mr. Fool, would you please show that religious fanatic how one devours a poodle please.
Mr. President, if he does that I think the universe might explode.

I'm a republicrat. I'll do it to save the environment, by destroying it that is.


President pro tempore wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

The Senate recognizes the gorgeous junior senator from the Jacks.

*wolf howls and thumps leg*

Why thank you, sir. :)

*blows him a kiss*

Now, I would like to introduce a point of clarification. The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping as a ban on ALL humping would be seriously detrimental to the Jills Gone Wild video franchise that is responsible for funding the vast majority of the Jacks' alcohol consumption.

Thank you for your time.


lynora-Jill wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

The Senate recognizes the gorgeous junior senator from the Jacks.

*wolf howls and thumps leg*

Why thank you, sir. :)

*blows him a kiss*

Now, I would like to introduce a point of clarification. The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping as a ban on ALL humping would be seriously detrimental to the Jills Gone Wild video franchise that is responsible for funding the vast majority of the Jacks' alcohol consumption.

Thank you for your time.

No, thank you.

And a special thanks for letting me work with the video kam-er-uh for that, uh... photo op.


lynora-Jill wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

The Senate recognizes the gorgeous junior senator from the Jacks.

*wolf howls and thumps leg*

Why thank you, sir. :)

*blows him a kiss*

Now, I would like to introduce a point of clarification. The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping as a ban on ALL humping would be seriously detrimental to the Jills Gone Wild video franchise that is responsible for funding the vast majority of the Jacks' alcohol consumption.

Thank you for your time.

But... but.. the Jacks seconded the ban.

murmurs in confusion


The Senate Body wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
President pro tempore wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

The Senate recognizes the gorgeous junior senator from the Jacks.

*wolf howls and thumps leg*

Why thank you, sir. :)

*blows him a kiss*

Now, I would like to introduce a point of clarification. The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping as a ban on ALL humping would be seriously detrimental to the Jills Gone Wild video franchise that is responsible for funding the vast majority of the Jacks' alcohol consumption.

Thank you for your time.

But... but.. the Jacks seconded the ban.

[i]murmurs in confusion[i]

You'll never get far in politics, dear, if you let facts get in the way of, well, getting your way. ;)


President pro tempore wrote:


And a special thanks for letting me work with the video kam-er-uh for that, uh... photo op.

SO glad you enjoyed yourself, Mr. President. And the celestial nymphs said you're welcome to come back any time. ;)


lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

*Gulp!* I never humped that poodle! Uh, I mean this film is a forgery. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

*Gulp!* I never humped that poodle! Uh, I mean this film is a forgery. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

Relax, sweetie. This is the one with the sheep, the cactus, the barbed wire, and the nymphs. Simply evidence of your, um, humping preferences.

The one with the poodle is in my personal blackmail collection. ;)


lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

*Gulp!* I never humped that poodle! Uh, I mean this film is a forgery. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

Relax, sweetie. This is the one with the sheep, the cactus, the barbed wire, and the nymphs. Simply evidence of your, um, humping preferences.

The one with the poodle is in my personal blackmail collection. ;)

Actually, I managed to find it on YouTube usin' my iPhone from a link on twittah.

Is that Vomit Guy there also? Ugh.


lynora-Jill wrote:
The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping

So you admit to trampling the rights of a minority?

I seriously expected more from you Jill.


President pro tempore wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Who said anything about humping?
Why, JRHM! I had no idea you enjoyed being the humpee.

The aide to the Jacks' representative would like to refer the poodle representative to video evidence to support that conclusion...providing you deliver the usual fee in advance.

*Gulp!* I never humped that poodle! Uh, I mean this film is a forgery. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

Relax, sweetie. This is the one with the sheep, the cactus, the barbed wire, and the nymphs. Simply evidence of your, um, humping preferences.

The one with the poodle is in my personal blackmail collection. ;)

Actually, I managed to find it on YouTube usin' my iPhone from a link on twittah.

Is that Vomit Guy there also? Ugh.

She sighed. "YouTube? Again? Okay, if you'll excuse me, I have some production assistants to fire and a few legal complaints to file. Be back in a bit."


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping

So you admit to trampling the rights of a minority?

I seriously expected more from you Jill.

I'm not the one who proposed the ban, dear. Or seconded it. I was merely making a point of clarification.

Besides, you know it will never make it out of committee.

Oh, and I have your check from the residuals of that series you did. It's been surprisingly popular. ;)


lynora-Jill wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
The proposed humping ban was intended to be a ban on poodle humping

So you admit to trampling the rights of a minority?

I seriously expected more from you Jill.

I'm not the one who proposed the ban, dear. Or seconded it. I was merely making a point of clarification.

Besides, you know it will never make it out of committee.

Oh, and I have your check from the residuals of that series you did. It's been surprisingly popular. ;)

Last time the Senate saw any residuals we had us an impeachment goin' on.


lynora-Jill wrote:
Besides, you know it will never make it out of committee.

I was about to send your jar of peanut butter back to you.

lynora-Jill wrote:
Oh, and I have your check from the residuals of that series you did. It's been surprisingly popular.

I told your assistant to send that to the ASPCA. You really need to find an assistant that can do more than just look good.


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Besides, you know it will never make it out of committee.

I was about to send your jar of peanut butter back to you.

lynora-Jill wrote:
Oh, and I have your check from the residuals of that series you did. It's been surprisingly popular.
I told your assistant to send that to the ASPCA. You really need to find an assistant that can do more than just look good.

Tell me about it. But as long as Jack Hammer remains in charge of hiring, that's just not gonna happen.


Mr. President, I move that we establish the Lord Jason as the honorary High Defender of the nation of Off-Topicia, and erect a statue in his honor.


Planet Houston, your politics are too time consuming and it bores me. Appointing me as your General would be in your best interests. I assure you that my resolutions will be swift and final.


Bulmahnaut #5 wrote:
Mr. President, I move that we establish the Lord Jason as the honorary High Defender of the nation of Off-Topicia, and erect a statue in his honor.

I move that we pillage this august body, kill or ransom the senators, and use the profits to buy some of those minis Lord Jason "neglected" to share with the crew!


Bulmahnaut #1 wrote:


I move that we pillage this august body, kill or ransom the senators, and use the profits to buy some of those minis Lord Jason "neglected" to share with the crew!

Denied. You, sir, are out of orduh. Unless you give us a cut of your ill-gotten-funds we will be forced to unleash harpies and crudely animated skeletons made from dragon's teeth upon you.

Bailiff, do we got them big smashy rocks in the Bosphorus set up yet?

General Zod wrote:
Planet Houston, your politics are too time consuming and it bores me. Appointing me as your General would be in your best interests. I assure you that my resolutions will be swift and final.

Why canchu speak American? I think a month or two in the "Phantom Zone" (AKA Guantanamo) will teach you a little respect. Then you can come back and we'll discuss a business venture with Black Water I got set up...

Bulmahnaut #5 wrote:
Mr. President, I move that we establish the Lord Jason as the honorary High Defender of the nation of Off-Topicia, and erect a statue in his honor.

Anyone second this eMotion?


Bulmahnaut #5 wrote:

Mr. President, I move that we establish the Lord Jason as the honorary High Defender of the nation of Off-Topicia, and erect a statue in his honor.

Anyone second this eMotion?

Seconded....

The Thieves guild still requires its cutback though. We shall take care of all building materials involved.

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