Chuck Norris?... I Don't Get It


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Grand Lodge

So, I got a chance to watch "Jim Rome is Burning" yesterday; I don't get to listen to his radio show so I try to watch his TV show when I can.
And Jim Rome went on about Chuck Norris the same superfluous way my fellow Paizonians do all - the - time.

I thought it was just a Paizo thing.

. . . . .

Can you guys please let me know why he's regarded SO well by Lords of the Boards and Clones alike?

As far as I know he's just some karate guy-actor who played in a series of Green Beret (or something) action movies in the 80s and more recently played a Texas Ranger in a TV show.

There's gotta be something more. Is it just that he's so old now and still in good shape? Is it because he did something cool in real life like a citizen's arrest of some muggers?

Without me having to go to Wikipedia, what's the deal?

----------------------------

And, for the record, one can not compare Chuck Norris to Conan or Driz'zt or Darth Vader.

Chuck Norris is an actor, the others are characters.
You'd have to compare Chuck Norris with Arnold and David Prowse.
Or you'd compare the character in one of Chuck Norris's movies to Driz'zt.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

Chuck Norris is like bacon.


It's an ongoing joke that probably started before I was born (which was in the mid-70's). Chuck Norris is an actor and martial artist who gets ruthlessly mocked for his general lack of acting skills and the fact that he seems to only know one move, the roundhouse kick. Threads about him are just taking jokes known to have been in circulation for decades (that's not hyperbole, that's fact) and re-airing them. How many people truly think he's all that is probably neglible, we're just making jokes.


Gary Teter wrote:
Chuck Norris is like bacon.

How so?

Sovereign Court

Gary Teter wrote:
Chuck Norris is like bacon.

Full of fat and grease?


Chuck Norris is awesome because he's so tough. For example, when Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

Lathiira wrote:
How so?

I think it's pretty clear that everything goes better with a roundhouse kick.


Gary Teter wrote:
Lathiira wrote:
How so?
I think it's pretty clear that everything goes better with a roundhouse kick.

Ha! You're right. Hadn't heard that one before.


You don't get Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris gets you, with a roundhouse kick to the face.

~grins~ It was the best I could do.


Sharoth wrote:

You don't get Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris gets you, with a roundhouse kick to the face.

~grins~ It was the best I could do.

It's okay, Sharoth. Sometimes you have to do the classics.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

W E Ray wrote:
I thought it was just a Paizo thing.

It's an internet meme. It started maybe 10 or 11 years ago, when someone clever compiled a list of the incredible things Vin Diesel can do and it circulated as an email forward throughout the world. The same list got applied to Chuck Norris, and more were added, and people kept coming up with new ones and adding to the list. And people keep making up new ones. It's died down a little. Like any internet meme worth the name, by the time you've heard of it, it's over.


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...
Unfortunately he never cries.

The Exchange

well there is his fight record. Which happened before and during his acting career.

as well as:

wikipedia wrote:
In late 2005, Norris became the object of an internet phenomenon known as "Chuck Norris Facts", which document fictional, often absurdly heroic feats and characteristics about Norris. The phenomenon originally started with the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator", and Chuck Norris Facts were created as a by-product, often using the same facts featured in the Vin Diesel Fact Generator. In time, Chuck Norris Facts became popular, even more so than the original Vin Diesel Fact Generator. Norris has written his own response to the parody on his website, stating that he does not feel offended by them and finds some of them funny

not to mention some OK films such as:

* The Green Berets (1968), with Chuck Norris as Martial arts performer.

* Way of the Dragon (1972)

* A Force of One (1979)
* The Octagon (1980)
* An Eye for an Eye (1981)
* Silent Rage (1982)

* Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
* Missing in Action (1984)

* The Delta Force (1986)
* Firewalker (1986)

* Hero and the Terror (1988)

* Sidekicks (1992)

* Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Edit... Ok that's never happened to me before... 1 minute too late.


I think it is a jab at the characters he always plays. You could substitute Chuck Norris with John Wayne…er…except that would be sacrilegious.

The Exchange

CourtFool wrote:
I think it is a jab at the characters he always plays. You could substitute Chuck Norris with John Wayne…er…except that would be sacrilegious.

Heathen!!!

Sovereign Court

It's just another internet meme like All Your Base or Lolcats, etc.

There were rumors that Chuck Norris was playing World of Warcraft so people started making Chuck Norris "facts" like he could run around the world so fast he could punch himself in the back of the head, or when he does push ups he's not pushing himself up but the Earth away. Stuff like that. Some guy collects them into a book, Chuck Norris has a bit of a come back and sues said guy, and then it gets overly annoying and everyone stops caring about it again.


Crimson Jester wrote:
Heathen!!!

It is a badge I wear proudly.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Crimson Jester wrote:

as well as:

wikipedia wrote:
In late 2005, Norris became the object of an internet phenomenon known as "Chuck Norris Facts", which document fictional, often absurdly heroic feats and characteristics about Norris. The phenomenon originally started with the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator", ...

Was it that recently? I remember seeing the Vin Diesel list shortly after I saw Pitch Black, which came out around 2000 (just checked wiki, 2000 indeed). But I did see it a couple years after it came out.

The Exchange

Christopher Dudley wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:

as well as:

wikipedia wrote:
In late 2005, Norris became the object of an internet phenomenon known as "Chuck Norris Facts", which document fictional, often absurdly heroic feats and characteristics about Norris. The phenomenon originally started with the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator", ...
Was it that recently? I remember seeing the Vin Diesel list shortly after I saw Pitch Black, which came out around 2000 (just checked wiki, 2000 indeed). But I did see it a couple years after it came out.

Yes according to both wiki and the Chuck Norris facts website.

The Exchange

"When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris."

"If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down"


My condolences to the family of the OP, who has no doubt expired due to a severe case of round-house-kick-to-the-face.


If you spell "Chuck Norris" in Scrabble, you win -- forever.

Grand Lodge

SO YOU GUYS HAVE JUST BEEN MAKING FUN OF HIM ALL THIS TIME!!!!?

That's awesome.

It helps restore a little bit of faith in humanity.

Is the Conan luv an attack on him, too?

And with Driz'zt, aren't there still people who like that shmuck? I mean, I loved the first three books. And I even like the next three. But there are those who really love that character.

Question -- the Paizonin who names his Avatar "Can I Call My Guy Driz'zt" -- you're a fan, right? Or are you making fun of him?


Oh Lord, now you've gone and got them started.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

According to some reports, the whole thing started as a takeoff on the SNL Bill Brasky Buddies skits that started in 1996. Bill Brasky is a fictional character in a series of skits, which involve a group of (often drunk) salesmen reminiscing about the superhuman physique and abilities of a fellow salesman.

Here are the transcripts from the skits:

Skit 1
Skit 2
Skit 3
Skit 4
Skit 5

Personally, I like the Bill Brasky facts better.


Chuck Norris was a very good Marital Artist and one of the first Americans to reach the skill level that he did how ever he still could not act worth a darn. How every when he frist started in the movies his roundhouse kick was to fast for the cameras and he had to slow it down. Also Chuck Norris joke are pretty funny


Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

The Exchange

Okay, in all seriousness...

Chuck Norris is an important figure in martial arts history. During the 1960s and 70s, when martial arts was starting to become popular in the United States, there were several noteworthy actors. Most of them were Chinese, as the film were from the classic "Hong Kong Theater."

One particular noteworthy Hong Kong action star was Bruce Lee. If you don't know who Bruce Lee is, then you are seriously out of touch with martial arts film history.

Bruce Lee wanted to revolutionize martial arts by making a style that was actually useful, not just practiced moves and katas that looked impressive. When he came the United States, he defied Chinese edicts by teaching their martial arts to non-Chinese students. Among these students was Chuck Norris; who showed up in films with Bruce.

Chuck has had some good things said about him, and some bad as well. He is an actor after all; and for some reason, people love to hate on those who are more popular than themselves. Recently, the "Chuck Norris is so bad-@$$" stories (started by Conan O'Brian) have gotten ridiculous. In general, however, most of the things I have heard about Chuck are positive. He is said to be a very kind man in real life.

I don't know if it is true or not, but here is one Chuck Norris story I was told:

Spoiler:
Chuck Norris was working on a film and while taking a break heard about the martial arts exploits of this new guy named Steven Segal. Wanting to see this new guy, Chuck went over to the next studio to watch Segal in the background.

While there, Chuck witnessed Segal doing a scene with a female costar. During the scene, Segal was supposed to quickly spin around and mock-slap the woman. However, the costar was off her mark and when Segal performed the move, she was hit hard. Bleeding and crying, Segal loomed over her and said "You should have been in the right place, b---h."

Angered at the treatment of Segal's costar, Chuck approached Segal and told him to apologize. Segal refused and told Chuck to go f--- off.

According to the crew witnessing the event, Chuck Norris moved so fast, it was like a jump-cut. In one moment, Chuck and Segal were facing off, and in the next, Segal was on the ground, with Chuck Norris giving him a painful-looking hold that Segal could not escape or defend against.


Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.


Jacob Blackmon wrote:

Okay, in all seriousness...

Chuck Norris is an important figure in martial arts history. During the 1960s and 70s, when martial arts was starting to become popular in the United States, there were several noteworthy actors. Most of them were Chinese, as the film were from the classic "Hong Kong Theater."

One particular noteworthy Hong Kong action star was Bruce Lee. If you don't know who Bruce Lee is, then you are seriously out of touch with martial arts film history.

Bruce Lee wanted to revolutionize martial arts by making a style that was actually useful, not just practiced moves and katas that looked impressive. When he came the United States, he defied Chinese edicts by teaching their martial arts to non-Chinese students. Among these students was Chuck Norris; who showed up in films with Bruce.

Chuck has had some good things said about him, and some bad as well. He is an actor after all; and for some reason, people love to hate on those who are more popular than themselves. Recently, the "Chuck Norris is so bad-@$$" stories (started by Conan O'Brian) have gotten ridiculous. In general, however, most of the things I have heard about Chuck are positive. He is said to be a very kind man in real life.

I don't know if it is true or not, but here is one Chuck Norris story I was told:

** spoiler omitted **...

Despite of what I may think of his martial arts and acting ability(to be honest, a combination of the two- I'm sure the man is far, far more dangerous than television leads me to believe, ESPECIALLY at his current age), Chuck Norris is indeed pure gold. Everyone I know who has met him(a few people) have always described him as extremely kind, patient, friendly, a true sensei in every sense of the word. I only know one person who met Segal, but from what I heard he wasn't doing much acting in the movie he did where he played a cop in Brooklyn- he's a rude, crude customer.

Liberty's Edge

Jason Rice wrote:
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Everytime Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, China has to launch a satellite to correct the earth's orbit.

Liberty's Edge

Freehold DM wrote:
I only know one person who met Segal, but from what I heard he wasn't doing much acting in the movie he did where he played a cop in Brooklyn- he's a rude, crude customer.

There is a reason they call him "C&*+~~#&#er".

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's because he played "C%*+%#@+#er" in the Onion Movie.


If Chuck Norris was any tougher, he could play Rugby...

;)

j/k of course...heh


Jason Rice wrote:
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

False. No one can sneak up on Chuck Norris.


Bill Lumberg wrote:
Jason Rice wrote:
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
False. No one can sneak up on Chuck Norris.

Except Chuck Norris

Liberty's Edge

Chuck Norris can ask for his waitress' phone number and get it.

The Exchange

Norris appeared in a 2007 commercial for Mountain Dew where he had his revenge on the two fictional webmasters of a popular site that featured Norris in a humorous style similar to that of the Chuck Norris Facts meme

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Here's the only one I made up:

Chuck Norris puts Baby in a corner.


Xaaon of Korvosa wrote:
Bill Lumberg wrote:
Jason Rice wrote:
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
False. No one can sneak up on Chuck Norris.
Except Chuck Norris

I just checked my Physics-of-Chuck-Norris textbook and it appears that you are right.


This one seems appropriate (Jacob Blackmon's spoiler)...

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

And this one is just funny...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.


Chuck Norris can block a toilet with his pee...


Chuck Norris is not only an expert martial artist. He's also an accomplished mathematician. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice. He can also divide by zero.

What's more, Chuck's good friend Mr. T. invented calculus in order to determine the number of fools he's had to pity.

The Exchange

Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.....I also saw him roundhouse kick a dude in his soul once.

Liberty's Edge

Mark Chance 476 wrote:


What's more, Chuck's good friend Mr. T. invented calculus in order to determine the number of fools he's had to pity.

Turned out that he had been the fool all along, so Chuck round house kicked him.

Liberty's Edge

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then may God help you!


Freehold DM wrote:
In general, however, most of the things I have heard about Chuck are positive. He is said to be a very kind man in real life.

Interesting. A few years ago I talked to a nice lady serving breakfast in a hotel in Houston, who claimed Chuck Norris was there the day before. "So I say to him, 'Mr. Chuck Norris! I love your show! My daughter and I watch it every week! And I ask him if he wants the check, and he gives me a mean look and he says, 'Do I look like I get checks? You give him the check!' (motioning to his producer/agent) And then he throw his napkin on the floor and walk out... I don't watch his show anymore."

Of course, this is a guy who claims that there's an atheist conspiracy to destroy America by keeping Bibles out of schools, so maybe he's just taken one kick too many to the head. Also, the lady was of Mexican ancestry, which is said to set Chuck off (even though -- or maybe because -- his birth name is "Carlos").

Still, he had some great movies. I love the scene in Good Guys Wear Black, when a guy tries to run him over with a car, and Chuck does a running jump kick through the windshield and into the driver.


Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn, he dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris walked into a Burger King, asked for a Big Mac, and got one.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked an Arby's so hard it turned into a Wendy's.


W E Ray wrote:
SO YOU GUYS HAVE JUST BEEN MAKING FUN OF HIM ALL THIS TIME!!!!?

Yes.

W E Ray wrote:
That's awesome.

Yes, yes it is.

W E Ray" wrote:
It helps restore a little bit of faith in humanity.

You're welcome.

W E Ray" wrote:
Is the Conan luv an attack on him, too?

Nope, that's real. Of course, I still say Kane could kick his butt all up and down Hyboria, but I'm in the minority.

W E Ray" wrote:
And with Driz'zt, aren't there still people who like that shmuck? I mean, I loved the first three books. And I even like the next three. But there are those who really love that character.

I think it's just a case of overexposure. Too much fanboy love spoiled it for the rest of us.

W E Ray" wrote:
Question -- the Paizonin who names his Avatar "Can I Call My Guy Driz'zt" -- you're a fan, right? Or are you making fun of him?

Hmm...I think your brain doohickey that allows you to sense humor on the internet is on the fritz. You should have that checked.


W E Ray wrote:
Question -- the Paizonin who names his Avatar "Can I Call My Guy Driz'zt" -- you're a fan, right? Or are you making fun of him?

The story behind that username can be found Here. :)

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