The Haiku Game


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Happy Thanksgiving!
Giving me food poisoning
Arsenic stuffing!


Arsenic stuffing!
I want to play a game. Saw
Sequels stretch belief.


Sequels stretch belief
But in Big Mama's House 2
Waistline stretched as well

Liberty's Edge

Waistline stretched as well
His stomach filled to bursting
Mr. Crouiceau


Mr. Crouiceau
Bugger off bring a bucket
Only wafer thin

Liberty's Edge

Only wafer thin
Five feet in diameter
Ride the Floating Disc!

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Ride the Floating Disc!
Go round and round. Watch the floor
Sink below your feet.

Liberty's Edge

Sink below your feet
The disposal grinds and roars
Time to die, pixie!

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Time to die, Pixie!
The reign of good is over.
Long live the evil.

Liberty's Edge

Long live the evil
As it bores like a weevil
Digesting morals


Digesting morals
The fell fiend upchucked them hard
"No meal masters me!"

Liberty's Edge

No meal masters me!
I shall bully the buffet!
Dominate Dinner


Dominate Dinner
Worked on all but the peanuts
They assaulted me!

Liberty's Edge

They assaulted me,
And peppered me with insults!
Damn condiment gnomes!


Damn condiment gnomes!
Must 'tard their course with relish
Before they ketchup

Liberty's Edge

Before they ketchup
They must finish their dressing
Sayeth Ceaser Slaad


Sayeth Caeser Slaad,
"Mellita, domi adsum!"
Before gob'ling Rome


Before gob'ling Rome
Colloseum goblin kings
Beg to leave your plate

Liberty's Edge

"Beg to leave your plate!"
The hungry giant chortled,
"Entertain me, meat!"


"Entertain me, meat!" Resisting...

Entertain me, meat!
Roar at this butcher's circus
Sir Sirloin Lion!


Sir Sirloin Lion!
Fetched Sir Milk of Magnesia
For Sir Loin of Beef

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

For Sir Loin of Beef
A gernerous king decreed
All Hail Bugs Bunny

Liberty's Edge

All Hail Bugs Bunny
Twenty-four "carrot" salutes
In ev'ry "burrow"

Liberty's Edge

in ev'ry burrow
The halflings hold a Spring Fling
Furry-toed tango


Furry-toed tango
teddybear's picnic dances
The salsa was cold

Liberty's Edge

The salsa was cold
For it was "Revenge Salsa"
That is how it's served


That is how it's served
The adventurer's delight
Iced simian brains

Revenge salsa! Nice!


Iced simian brains
Eyeball soup, snake surprise, bugs
Lunch at Indy's place

Liberty's Edge

Lunch at Indy's Place
An all-you-can-eat buffet
Fortune and Glory

Liberty's Edge

Fortune and Glory
Essential to the Story
Bloody and Gory


Bloody and Gory
Murders on Elm Street unsolved
Freddy wins again


Freddy wins again
Jason is more than annoyed
Time for a rematch

Liberty's Edge

TIME for a rematch
LIFE provides the perspective
From a PENTHOUSE view!

Lantern Lodge

From a penthouse view
Everything can be seen
While I cannot

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

While I cannot
Condone your awful actions
I will keep quiet

Liberty's Edge

I will keep Quiet
I find that it's a Riot
When I Feel the Noise

Liberty's Edge

When I feeel the noise
Tremorsenses tingling
I pop-up and bite!


I Pop-Up and Bite!
World's worst children's book ever
You're a bad parent

Liberty's Edge

You're a bad parent
That's readily apparent
Disciplining with duct tape


Cuchulainn wrote:

You're a bad parent

That's readily apparent
Disciplining with duct tape

That last line was seven syllables. You're fired.

Duct tape discipline?
Listed on your resume?
You're a sick, sick man!

Liberty's Edge

The Jade wrote:

That last line was seven syllables. You're fired.

Geez, after writing hundreds of these things, how'd I eff that up?Mental Flatulence.

You're a sick, sick man!
Keeping gerbils in a can
When they're still alive!


When they're still alive
Best time to eat 'em cuz they
Wriggle going down

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Wriggle going down
Nothing saves being et by
Giant Purple Worms.

Liberty's Edge

"Giant Purple Worms"
Is that how the word translates?
Wow, that's confusing.


Wow, that's confusing
I wiped my table with him
Because he's Polish


I should have chosen to "wipe the floor" with the man who is P/polish. Oh dern you one hour edit function. Dern you straight to heck.

Liberty's Edge

Because he's Polish
He carries a ten-footer
That'll spring her trap!

Liberty's Edge

"That'll spring her trap!"
The paladin declared, as
He polished his sword

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

He polished his sword,
Dragon hunting he would go.
Surprise attacks suck.

Liberty's Edge

Surprise attacks suck
When they're by chupcabras
Boy, they get my goat!

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