Bullies!


Off-Topic Discussions


Most folks have at least one tale of being picked on by a bully. What is your tale? Abused by bullies? Ever been a bully? How about tales of overcoming the violence of a bully?

Dark Archive

I was bullied by a kid at the bus stop when I was in the second grade. He liked beating me up, because I was the new kid in school and because my grandma was our teacher. It only kept up until I learned that most bullies back down when you fight back, whether you win or not. Interestingly enough, many years later he ended up marrying my sister. That is a whole other rant though.


I am posting as Sock Puppet to avoid this showing up in casual google searches. Mouseover to see my name.

I survived some truly dark stuff. I am who I am today in reaction to the environment I grew up in. At age eight, I moved from Oxford England to a gold mine in apartheid South Africa. In short order, I was singled out as the prime outsider in town. I was English, in an Afrikaaner burg. I did not speak Afrikaans. I did not know any better, and let the fundamentalists know that I did not know who Jesus was.

Here comes a list:

Hit in the gut, then kicked in the head while prone.
Head flushed down used toilet.
Set on fire.
Pissed on.
Spat on.
Stabbed in the back with a compass.
Stoned.
Hair tied to a tree.
Thrown into a dumpster.
Burned with firecrackers.
Raped.(aged nine)
etcetera.

at the same time, I was regularly getting caned at school.
I retreated into fantasy, and pretended to be insane to keep the little monsters away from me.

I got into D&D at the same age, and have never looked back.

I look back at those days and feel deep sympathy and pity for those poor children who were so badly failed by their society. The culture was built around hate of those that are different: Blacks, gays, intellectuals, sensitive or artistic people, atheists and any other types that did not fit a system based on conformity to an aryan state ideal. Those poor kids knew no better, and I wish them no ill will. I am grateful to have had such a crucible in which to form my identity, and am in no way diminished by those years. I am not a victim, I am a very happy and contented person. Positively pollyannaish. I learned that one cannot change the content of ones life, but is free to change the context in which one views it.

The poverty I knew as an adult was far harder to get over than the accidents of my childhood. Africa is not an easy place to be poor in.

Liberty's Edge

I overcame violence by going by in life being unnoticed at school and stuff. Worked pretty good. 26 years old and never been in a fight cept with my brothers ... but that happens.

Likely not the story you're looking for but it's been cool so far. I also tend to get along with most people anyway so no one's ever had a beef with me when I do interact.

*shrugs* Go figure.

The Exchange

Sock Puppet wrote:

I am posting as Sock Puppet to avoid this showing up in casual google searches. Mouseover to see my name.

I survived some truly dark stuff. I am who I am today in reaction to the environment I grew up in. At age eight, I moved from Oxford England to a gold mine in apartheid South Africa. In short order, I was singled out as the prime outsider in town. I was English, in an Afrikaaner burg. I did not speak Afrikaans. I did not know any better, and let the fundamentalists know that I did not know who Jesus was.

Here comes a list:

Hit in the gut, then kicked in the head while prone.
Head flushed down used toilet.
Set on fire.
Pissed on.
Spat on.
Stabbed in the back with a compass.
Stoned.
Hair tied to a tree.
Thrown into a dumpster.
Burned with firecrackers.
Raped.(aged nine)
etcetera.

at the same time, I was regularly getting caned at school.
I retreated into fantasy, and pretended to be insane to keep the little monsters away from me.

I got into D&D at the same age, and have never looked back.

I look back at those days and feel deep sympathy and pity for those poor children who were so badly failed by their society. The culture was built around hate of those that are different: Blacks, gays, intellectuals, sensitive or artistic people, atheists and any other types that did not fit a system based on conformity to an aryan state ideal. Those poor kids knew no better, and I wish them no ill will. I am grateful to have had such a crucible in which to form my identity, and am in no way diminished by those years. I am not a victim, I am a very happy and contented person. Positively pollyannaish. I learned that one cannot change the content of ones life, but is free to change the context in which one views it.

The poverty I knew as an adult was far harder to get over than the accidents of my childhood. Africa is not an easy place to be poor in.

That kind of abuse breeds serial killers.


Sock Puppet, I am so sorry to hear about the horror of your childhood, but it is a testament to you that you are able to transcend that evil period in your life and become the good person that you are today.

I didn't have anything that bad, but I faced my share of low-level bullying, although it was an odd type of bullying.

When I was younger, I developed earlier than other kids. I was large, both in height and breadth, looking like a Pop Warner youth football linebacker, the kind of kid you expect to be the bully. Of course, I was a shy bookish nerd wrapped in a beefy exterior. Many kids saw me as a good target, since I was formidible looking, but wouldn't put up a serious fight when challenged. One particularly bad memory is being on the playground and being surrounded by six other kids. They would knock me down as soon as I would get up, never giving me a chance to fight back. It went on for what seemed like hours, until the playground monitor finally noticed what was going on and broke it up.

I eventually dealt with the abuse by withdrawing into myself. I'm sure that that is one reason I became so involved with RPGs in the first place, because they gave me an outlet for my imaginings and a safe place to interact with others. It probably also fuels my absolute hatred of organized sports, as many of the kids who bullied me were part of these teams, and I was often verbally abused for not signing up for the school football team. It seems it was expected, by both students and teachers.

I still abhor violence, but I have made my peace with the fact that there are mad dogs in the world, and sometimes you have to fight back to show them a lesson. I eventually learned the fine art of intimidation, where bullies can be routed by the correct attitude without resorting to violence.

Dark Archive

... wrote:

Sock Puppet, I am so sorry to hear about the horror of your childhood, but it is a testament to you that you are able to transcend that evil period in your life and become the good person that you are today.

I didn't have anything that bad, but I faced my share of low-level bullying, although it was an odd type of bullying.

When I was younger, I developed earlier than other kids. I was large, both in height and breadth, looking like a Pop Warner youth football linebacker, the kind of kid you expect to be the bully. Of course, I was a shy bookish nerd wrapped in a beefy exterior. Many kids saw me as a good target, since I was formidible looking, but wouldn't put up a serious fight when challenged. One particularly bad memory is being on the playground and being surrounded by six other kids. They would knock me down as soon as I would get up, never giving me a chance to fight back. It went on for what seemed like hours, until the playground monitor finally noticed what was going on and broke it up.

I eventually dealt with the abuse by withdrawing into myself. I'm sure that that is one reason I became so involved with RPGs in the first place, because they gave me an outlet for my imaginings and a safe place to interact with others. It probably also fuels my absolute hatred of organized sports, as many of the kids who bullied me were part of these teams, and I was often verbally abused for not signing up for the school football team. It seems it was expected, by both students and teachers.

I still abhor violence, but I have made my peace with the fact that there are mad dogs in the world, and sometimes you have to fight back to show them a lesson. I eventually learned the fine art of intimidation, where bullies can be routed by the correct attitude without resorting to violence.

Well I do have a story but for now I have to run to work when I return I'll go into detail.


You really had to endure a lot. The way you deal with your adverse past says a lot about who you are and your strength.

Myself, I was a pretty tough kid. I got in a lot of fights young with neighborhood kids. Occasionally I was bullied over the years by bigger kids. (Odd how the guys your own size or smaller never pick a fight with you...) lol .. I recall one instance of a kid twice my size stealing my sneakers and throwing them in a tree at my bus-stop.

I'd say most the bullying in my life was from my dad though. Total a-hole growing up. Lots of work to be done at my house and little affection. A slap upside the head was far more likely than a pat on the back. So bad that my friends wouldn't come to my house... my dad would put them to work.

Of course you learn from all experiences in life... in my case I found out how hard life can be and not to expect things to come easy. In fact people who feel entitlement and expect things easy without earning them bother me to this day ... it tends to be a theme in my campaigns. You want something... earn it. Escapism into Tolkien, Lloyd Alexander, C.S. Lewis in 3rd grade and then into AD&D in 4th grade brought me a lot of joy and balance.

I never bullied any kids but I can think of times where I wish I was stronger and stood up for others that were bullied. For the record, my dad and I have both grown a lot and have on the whole a good relationship today.(He's still an a-hole on occasion ;) )

The Exchange

Sock Puppet wrote:
A lot of personal and revealing things.

Wow. That's brutal. It's great that you came through it without turning bitter and hateful. You. Are. Awesome!

Personally, I was both bully and bullied. Really, you could say I had a bit of a personality conflict. Some kids I would be mean and crude with yet other times I would champion the underdog and make the bullies to 'pick on someone their own size'.

Actually that kind of makes sense. I normally bullied kids close to my own size and age. I don't think I ever picked on kids I saw as weaker than me.

And then of course there were the bigger bullies. Most of the time they didn't mess with me becasue I was all temper and attitude, but once in awhile someone would step in and 'put me in my place'.

Meh, memories aren't all their cracked up to be.


You guys have walked through hell growing up and have found solace. I'm glad you are all gamers (most of whom accept all people).

I wish we had a way to stop bullies. It still remains a problem. I know that most bullies are deeply troubled themselves. I also have experienced bullies in harmony with youth athletics/ sports. It almost seems as if being a bully was encouraged in rural public school based sports. Some sort of twisted puberty related aggression training mentality.


David Fryer wrote:
I was bullied by a kid at the bus stop when I was in the second grade. He liked beating me up, because I was the new kid in school and because my grandma was our teacher. It only kept up until I learned that most bullies back down when you fight back, whether you win or not. Interestingly enough, many years later he ended up marrying my sister. That is a whole other rant though.

That's incredible. I knew one annoying kid in grade school who was picked on by everyone. And the person who picked on him the most wound up marrying the annoying kid's sister.

(I'm certain you're not the annoying kid though. He was rabidly anti-RPG. He was reading some BADD-influenced book that linked D&D to some teenager's suicide. He announced to me, with perfect confidence and unshakeable authority in his voice "You Dungeons and Dragons players are nuts!" Like I said, annoying.)


I can't say that the bullying I experienced was anything truly awful. As the perpetual new kid there was plenty of it. I was one of the smallest kids in my class and I tended to keep to myself and lose myself in books. I was kicked, pinched, spit on, and verbally taunted on a daily basis. That was pretty much normal for me. The day I got locked in the closet was pretty bad, but that was the worst thing that ever happened. I did have a couple of friends, or at least I thought they were, except when I was in sixth grade one of them thought they could impress the cool kids by picking on me. I snapped. Badly. To this day I am grateful that it was a fight against a whole group, because if that had been a one-on-one fight I would have put someone in the hospital at the very least instead of just scaring the bejeebers out of a group of boys every one of which was bigger and stronger than me. It did convince them to stop picking on the 'crazy' girl though.

Dark Archive

Ok I'm back. Well when I was in high school I suppose I could be considered a bully. I was part of the jock crowd, I played football I was a farm boy and came from an exetremely religious family. I was taught (unfortunately) to really be intolerant of others differences. I like to think I defended a few people, or deflected the wrath of a pack of jocks from hurting someone at times, but I was part of it and I did get involved at times.
That changed my last year of high school. See I knew I was gay about the age of 12, I was raised on a pew with a preacher yelling hellfire and brimstone to homosexuals. I was even encouraged to steer clear of any suspected homosexual or heretic toward my religion. I remember sleepless nights praying for god to take my feelings away, I cried at the altar services trying to cast out the demons I believed I had. This was the only world view I had really been exposed too. So as I got involved in high school sports to deflect any suspicions toward my sexuality, I hung around with guys, I did what they did, I made fun of nerds and gay kids. I did it all so that no one would ever find out.

Last year of high school I couldn`t take it anymore, people started to become somewhat suspicious of me (on the football team with no girlfriend and no apparent interest in finding one). I came out, I couldn`t take it anymore, I couldn`t lie anymore the constant hiding and shame was causing me to have nervous breakdowns. I came out at school just after gym class, I quit the football team (no one wanted me in the locker room anyway). I lost all my friends, I was kicked out of the house no one in my rather large family would speak to me. I ended up getting student assistance and my own appartment. I got bullied at school worse than anyone else that last year. I was spit on several times, I was even jumped by a group of guys walking home from school. I received black eyes, bloody lips, and a concussion. That last year of high school was hell. But when it came down to it I couldn`t honestly blame them for their actions or beliefs, only because I was the same way for quite a few years, I hated gay people as much as they did, I hated myself even more though. I hated anyone who was different for so long, that when I finally got to be honest with myself I realized I had a hard time hating anyone anymore only because I understood where they were coming from.

Liberty's Edge

I was never really *picked on* in school, nor was I a bully. I was just "that psycho kid" that everyone was scared s++#less of because I "might snap at any minute," or "pull a gun and kill us all." I think I got more s!#$ from adults than other kids.

Hmmm... Probably explains why I hang out with a bunch of misfits, thugs, and ex-cons...


When Brazilian Jiu Jitsu first roared into the martial arts scene in the early 90s, my uncles were really quick to jump on the bandwagon. My childhood was spent as a sparring partner/dummy, but I managed to pick up bits and pieces of it along the way.

I despised it at the time, but it saved my bacon literally as I grew older. In high school, a kid who was older, much larger and stronger than I was, decided that he could just steal money from my locker. I found out and confronted him about it. He just laughed in my face, so I ripped his laptop from his hand and threw it out the open window. Needless to say, he punched me. However, my mind immediately shifted into autopilot and I took him down with a double leg takedown, got top mount and proceeded to pummel him for a bit before breaking his arm with an armbar. I was suspended from school, but when I came back to school, I had developed a reputation for being dangerous. Nobody dared mess with me since.

I admit, I did let it get a little to my head and got into several more scraps after that. Using moves that these high school kids have never seen before, I proceeded to beat everybody who wanted to fight me. I was a big fish in a small pond and milked it for all it was worth.

When college came, I was too busy freshman and sophomore years to do anything other than lift weights, study, and think about D&D. Now that I'm a junior and my schedule has been freed up a bit, I rekindled my passion for martial arts and made friends with kids who've been fighting in professional organizations for some time. I've started sparring with them and with their encouragement, I've decided to step up my fight game.

Now, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and mixed martial arts in general is a passion of mine. I have started taking formal classes and have been going out for competitions. I'm in the best shape of my life, doing what I love, and doing well in it. All in all, I'd say life is pretty good right now.


I too discovered martial arts as a way to deal with bullies but not until college.

Funny how some people never out grow the bully thing either. I have encountered adults, people with kids and careers, that still engage in this type of behavior. Most of it is under the guise as just teasing but you can still see it. I hardy slap on the back, cutting in line, a loud voice to intimidate.

And let's not forget women can be bullies too! My wife has many a tale of being threatened as a child in Milwaukee Public Schools.

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