The "choose a cult" thread


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Everyone knows of the local cults here but, what do they offer? Why should I join one? Representatives of the various cults are invited to advertise as to why should we join -their- cult.


Why choose? Make aliases and join them all. :)


Dog. Poodle. Srsly. If you need more than that…

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

You can't join my cult, it's exclusive. The Jack cult will let anyone and anything in. But, then again, it's not really a cult so much as a dirty ally where hobos pass out after sniffing lighter fluid and drinking sterno.


~shrugs~ Well, at least no one is nuts enough to make a cult dedicated to me. That would be scary!


Sebastian wrote:
You can't join my cult, it's exclusive. The Jack cult will let anyone and anything in. But, then again, it's not really a cult so much as a dirty ally where hobos pass out after sniffing lighter fluid and drinking sterno.

Oh, I see you've been by the Clubhouse after a taco party. Yeah, even I try to stay away from those and I live there. But most of the time it's lots of fun. :)


lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastian wrote:
You can't join my cult, it's exclusive. The Jack cult will let anyone and anything in. But, then again, it's not really a cult so much as a dirty ally where hobos pass out after sniffing lighter fluid and drinking sterno.
Oh, I see you've been by the Clubhouse after a taco party. Yeah, even I try to stay away from those and I live there. But most of the time it's lots of fun. :)

My families just keep getting stranger and stranger...


lynora-Jill wrote:
But most of the time it's lots of fun. :)

Just because everyone kisses your bum. Maybe it should be the Not Quite So Angry Jill Club.

The fawning is really nauseating.


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
But most of the time it's lots of fun. :)

Just because everyone kisses your bum. Maybe it should be the Not Quite So Angry Jill Club.

The fawning is really nauseating.

Don't you have an entire thread devoted to other poodles fawning over you and licking your bum? :)


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
But most of the time it's lots of fun. :)

Just because everyone kisses your bum. Maybe it should be the Not Quite So Angry Jill Club.

The fawning is really nauseating.

*slides in*

'Tis true. Since she is the only Jill that I know of, you have to wonder how new Jack's are made...

You see, when a Jack is in love with Lynora-Jill, and she is bored... Sorry Lynora. ;)


Slip and Slaad wrote:


*slides in*
'Tis true. Since she is the only Jill that I know of, you have to wonder how new Jack's are made...

You see, when a Jack is in love with Lynora-Jill, and she is bored... Sorry Lynora. ;)

No worries :) I, too, have commented on the smurflike gender demographic in the Jack cult. :)


The Jack cult means never having to say you're sorry. Ever.


Now... which cults are "monotheistic" and which ones allow for affiliation to multiple cults?


Dogbert wrote:
Now... which cults are "monotheistic" and which ones allow for affiliation to multiple cults?

*poofs in grinning*

Follow me!
*leads Dogbert to Poodle, Jack , and Slaad threads*

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

GoFY is kind of like a cult.

You should join.

Want some kool-aid?


You could always start your own cult. Then, when no one joins and the crickets are chirping, we can all come over and mock you and call you funny names like "loser", "scab-eater", and "ooze-licker". We'll also accuse you of "playing ball like a girl". Trust me, you'll be in good company.


Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
You could always start your own cult. Then, when no one joins and the crickets are chirping, we can all come over and mock you and call you funny names like "loser", "scab-eater", and "ooze-licker". We'll also accuse you of "playing ball like a girl". Trust me, you'll be in good company.

Just...shut up.


Ahem. The Poodles offer a safe, easy life, practically invulnerable to almost every attack, and with all the legs to hump, books to shred, and ears to shatter that they want. However, they're pacifists, and they are universally despised.
The Crimson Crime thieves are clever and deadly, excelling at escaping and thieving. However, they haven't been seen for ages, ever since the Jacks wiped them off the globe in vengeance for the attack on one of their members. Thieves are not invulnerable.
The Jacks offer beer, and good food. You get to punt people and stick them on the Jackapult. However, you never get any peace and quiet, as they are constantly partying, and they have been declining ever since the thieves were destroyed (as they no longer have anybody worth raiding).
The Slaadi offer great power, like the Jacks, but you can pretty much do whatever you want. However, they are unable to get rid of anybody who annoys them, because they're not that fast. Pretty slow. Heh.
Moorluck's place offers safety and power, as it is risky to attack them. When Yunevrherdofus or whatever attacked them, they were beaten badly (of course, they forgot their weapons, so it may not be saying that much). However, you're always busy.
The Frogs are friendly, but not all that disliked, so they're sort of the nicest place to stay. However, they have declined, and now the Pond seems to have frozen. A shame.
The Borg are powerful, and you will never really die, but you lose all sense of self. Not a good idea. Not to mention, they have also declined since defeated last year.

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012

Here's an emerging cult. It spawned a couple of splinter groups, one fairly successful and one that immediately got smacked down by the PostMonster.


taig wrote:

Here's an emerging cult. It spawned a couple of splinter groups, one fairly successful and one that immediately got smacked down by the PostMonster.

That's not a cult, it's a word game of sorts. A cult is where people RP as being in a cult, centered around one poster (such as Hugo Solis, Callous Jack, Courtfool, Moorluck, and Crimson Jester)or one avvy (such as the Slaadi). Not that they always use the same avvy.

RPG Superstar 2012

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
taig wrote:

Here's an emerging cult. It spawned a couple of splinter groups, one fairly successful and one that immediately got smacked down by the PostMonster.

That's not a cult, it's a word game of sorts. A cult is where people RP as being in a cult, centered around one poster (such as Hugo Solis, Callous Jack, Courtfool, Moorluck, and Crimson Jester)or one avvy (such as the Slaadi). Not that they always use the same avvy.

Ah, but it's centered around a (sorta)apocalyptic viewpoint. True, there's no roleplaying, but as I said, it's an emerging cult. After all, Moorluck's cult started out of a thread that had absolutely nothing to do with him to begin with. Hail FaWTL!!!

Edit: Celestial Healer had been trying to gather support for his idea being the best thread topic that can get you banned.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
The Crimson Crime thieves are clever and deadly, excelling at escaping and thieving. However, they haven't been seen for ages, ever since the Jacks wiped them off the globe in vengeance for the attack on one of their members. Thieves are not invulnerable.

Hey! We've been hiding We're thieves. It's part of the job description.

In other words, I'm kinda-sorta here, but one man does not a guild make.


taig wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
taig wrote:

Here's an emerging cult. It spawned a couple of splinter groups, one fairly successful and one that immediately got smacked down by the PostMonster.

That's not a cult, it's a word game of sorts. A cult is where people RP as being in a cult, centered around one poster (such as Hugo Solis, Callous Jack, Courtfool, Moorluck, and Crimson Jester)or one avvy (such as the Slaadi). Not that they always use the same avvy.

Ah, but it's centered around a (sorta)apocalyptic viewpoint. True, there's no roleplaying, but as I said, it's an emerging cult. After all, Moorluck's cult started out of a thread that had absolutely nothing to do with him to begin with. Hail FaWTL!!!

Edit: Celestial Healer had been trying to gather support for his idea being the best thread topic that can get you banned.

But it isn't a cult until people start RPing, until then it's just a sort of contest.


Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
You could always start your own cult. Then, when no one joins and the crickets are chirping, we can all come over and mock you and call you funny names like "loser", "scab-eater", and "ooze-licker". We'll also accuse you of "playing ball like a girl". Trust me, you'll be in good company.
Just...shut up.

The truth hurts, doesn't it little kitty?


Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
You could always start your own cult. Then, when no one joins and the crickets are chirping, we can all come over and mock you and call you funny names like "loser", "scab-eater", and "ooze-licker". We'll also accuse you of "playing ball like a girl". Trust me, you'll be in good company.
Just...shut up.
The truth hurts, doesn't it little kitty?

Say, how's your guild doing? Up to three leaders? Got any, I dunno, followers?


Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
You could always start your own cult. Then, when no one joins and the crickets are chirping, we can all come over and mock you and call you funny names like "loser", "scab-eater", and "ooze-licker". We'll also accuse you of "playing ball like a girl". Trust me, you'll be in good company.
Just...shut up.
The truth hurts, doesn't it little kitty?
Say, how's your guild doing? Up to three leaders? Got any, I dunno, followers?

Followers? Oh, you mean people who can't do a thing on their own so they need me to tell them what to do? But, that's why I have you.....

The Exchange

This entire thread deserves to be stolen.


Crimson Jester wrote:
This entire thread deserves to be stolen.

I'd love to, but we just don't have the manpower, cap'n. Get a few more thieves, rogues or general ruffians down here, then maybe it could be done.


Dogbert wrote:
Everyone knows of the local cults here but, what do they offer? Why should I join one? Representatives of the various cults are invited to advertise as to why should we join -their- cult.

You should join the Jacks. All of these other cults are wusses.


Crimson Jester wrote:
This entire thread deserves to be stolen.

Oh crap. Does this mean the Thieves are back? Does that mean the Jacks are gonna recover? Crap.

Scarab Sages

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Dogbert wrote:
Everyone knows of the local cults here but, what do they offer? Why should I join one? Representatives of the various cults are invited to advertise as to why should we join -their- cult.
You should join the Jacks. All of these other cults are wusses.

Not to mention that we have delicious food. Hungry Jack® is your friend at the dinner table!


lynora-Jill wrote:
...and licking your bum? :)

I am sure I would have remember that.

Liberty's Edge

Dogbert wrote:
Everyone knows of the local cults here but, what do they offer? Why should I join one? Representatives of the various cults are invited to advertise as to why should we join -their- cult.

Make aliases and join them all, then subvert them to take care of your own interests.


Why don't you start a cult dedicated to someone else. I hear that Aberzombie guy is pretty cool.....


IamSpartacus wrote:
Why don't you start a cult dedicated to someone else. I hear that Aberzombie guy is pretty cool.....

<Infernal cop car--now with tentacles--pops in>

It's already been done. Besides, an "mmmm...brains" thread might be limiting.
<Infernal cop car pops out>

Liberty's Edge

IamSpartacus wrote:
Why don't you start a cult dedicated to someone else. I hear that Aberzombie guy is pretty cool.....

Collapses in fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
IamSpartacus wrote:
Why don't you start a cult dedicated to someone else. I hear that Aberzombie guy is pretty cool.....

He eats all his followers after slipping roofies in the Kool-Aid.

Scarab Sages

Callous Jack wrote:


He eats all his followers after slipping roofies in the Kool-Aid.

I do not! I just.......chew on them a little.


There's Kool-Aid?

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
CourtFool wrote:
There's Kool-Aid?

Grape flavored!

Silver Crusade

I'll drink the cool-aid in Aberzombie's thread!


TELEGRAM

Dear Inquirer[stop]
Am away but my recommendation is clear[stop]
Become a Jack[stop]
Yours Col. J. J. Jackson GBE aka "Panama Jack"[stop]


Celestial Healer wrote:
I'll drink the cool-aid in Aberzombie's thread!

That is a rousing endorsement if I ever heard one.


IamSpartacus wrote:
Why don't you start a cult dedicated to someone else. I hear that Aberzombie guy is pretty cool.....

Here.

I propose we start with a drive to collect people's unwanted brians.


I suggest you start in Hollywood. It is obvious no one there has used theirs in years.

Scarab Sages

CourtFool wrote:
I suggest you start in Hollywood. It is obvious no one there has used theirs in years.

Sometimes, I think the same thing can be said about the government....

Liberty's Edge

Dogbert, while fun... i believe on the concept of the ronin... a masterless warrior, going as they bid, no place to call home... but the world itself...

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Montalve wrote:
Dogbert, while fun... i believe on the concept of the ronin... a masterless warrior, going as they bid, no place to call home... but the world itself...

Join us Monty...join us...


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
However, you never get any peace and quiet, as they are constantly partying

Somehow that gave me the mental picture of a whole group of Jacks in a disco, facing the camera while dancing in coreography to "disco inferno".


Dogbert wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
However, you never get any peace and quiet, as they are constantly partying
Somehow that gave me the mental picture of a whole group of Jacks in a disco, facing the camera while dancing in coreography to "disco inferno".

But not dancing alone...Jacks are never lonely...join us, Monty...

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