Good Decision or Bad Decision


Music & Audio

Liberty's Edge

A guy approached me and asked me if I wanted to be in a band. I've wanted to be in a real band for years, but I know from experience that three of the four other guys party way harder than they should, and I'll be heading to college in September. Should I join?


This isn't really a question anyone can answer without getting a lot more background info. care to tell us some more?

Liberty's Edge

Dude, unless you're playing chamber music, partying is pretty much part of the scene. You don't have to party as much as they do (or at all), unless they're d!%!*eads about it. And, in that case, just bail on them. You have until the fall semester starts to see how it will go, if they're cool and don't put pressure on you to party like a rock star (hehehe), and you think you could handle the commitment, time-wise, you'd have to put in to make it work, and balance that with the time you'll need to study, go for it. Heck, just tell them you're straight edge and play some Minor Thread riffs...

Ask yourself: What Would Henry Rollins Do?


You will join the band, make couple of gigs and put out a self-published single (possibly a split), then later when you are big and famous all the hipsters say you were at your best in that band in summer '09, and the single will be selling for major $$$ in eBay.

Scarab Sages

Sounds to me like you already know the answer, and are looking to see if others agree with the decision you've already made?

You say you 'know from experience' that some of them 'party harder than they should'. That speaks volumes; presumably they, or their crowd have burned you in the past?

The criteria is not how much they drink, but how they let it affect their behaviour, their mood, their performance and professionalism.

If they were cheerful drunks, with no drama, who are always punctual, and note-perfect, you'd have felt no need to mention it.

That's not to say you can't associate with them, be friends with them, or even play with them, but be under no illusions of how likely they are to make it big, if they're crying off rehearsals, missing soundchecks, hitting bum notes and screaming blame at each other.
Just be as professional as you can be, and keep your ears open for the better offers.


Are they asking you, or going to ask you, for money and/or to buy equipment?

Just don't be that kid from Black Circle Boys .

Liberty's Edge

Tensor wrote:
Are they asking you, or going to ask you, for money and/or to buy equipment?

I'm being asked to share lead vocal duties and play rhythm guitar. They actually have way better gear than I do. I'm also going to be the oldest guy there by a couple of years, and the only one who doesn't drink.

I think I'm going to go for it, once they get back to me. They're kinda wild, but they're decent folks, so I can probably handle it. I'll just be that weird, Rollins-esque guy who shows up to practice and play, but then ditches right afterwards.


I think this goes to the heart of any individual becoming a member of a group. Can you remain true to yourself while finding enough common ground with the group for that group to be productive.

Liberty's Edge

Pfft...

Long story short, the band broke up before it had really formed. Don't really know why--I just got a call from one of the dudes that basically said "never mind." Whatever. Not a big deal. I've got some other music projects I'm working on anyway.

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