Club Calistria


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The Dalesman wrote:
Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:

A crate appears. The note on it reads. "I so like a good fight, here IS something to help, you can pay me back later...signed Demon lord of tribbles"

Invoice Found with note reads
*5 Undead bane longsword
*25 Lich slaying arrows
*1 holy avenger
*20 bottles of scotch

looks at the slogan at the bottom of the Invoice

"D-L.o.T.s - Your Friend in the Slaying Business."

"Hmm - nice stuff here. Looks like we've got an invested spectator, if not a supporter."

picks up a tribble
"But what in the Nine Hells are these things for? Mobile carpeting?"

I wouldn't drink the scotch. He gets cheap when it comes to liquor.

As for the tribbles, I usually glue them together for Jackin'Ape to play 'cuddles' with.


The Witch Hunter General wrote:

See Spell Stowaway epic feat from SRD... I'm just trying to think of some additional powers here which Candle Lighter might have.

Rumours over which such spells Candle Lighter holds sway over vary over the years. It is possible that some of the records have been fabricated by his agents to mislead hunters, or that he has some means to adjust his attunement to such spells.

"To clarify something - if a spell is already active prior to coming within proximity of Candle Lighter, is it susceptible to the same thing, or only spells that are actually cast in his presence?"


But basically what all of this he waves an arm at the scrolls and books boils down to is that dragons are creatures of magic; undead ones even more so, and frankly trying to take most on with spells is a waste of time.
A large sledgehammer, preferably blessed by half a dozen gods, and a very fast maneuverable flying carpet are probably the best bet. Either that or a giant shaman who can lob consecrated boulders at you enemy from a way off.


The Dalesman wrote:
The Witch Hunter General wrote:

See Spell Stowaway epic feat from SRD... I'm just trying to think of some additional powers here which Candle Lighter might have.

Rumours over which such spells Candle Lighter holds sway over vary over the years. It is possible that some of the records have been fabricated by his agents to mislead hunters, or that he has some means to adjust his attunement to such spells.
"To clarify something - if a spell is already active prior to coming within proximity of Candle Lighter, is it susceptible to the same thing, or only spells that are actually cast in his presence?"

According to what the books say, only ones cast in his presence. The books may be wrong, however, or he may have developed the ability above and beyond what is suspected.


Tribble catalog pops in

From the intro page
Tribbles come in a wide range of sizes and colors. The common tribble enhances a calming mood This counts as a +2 to any charisma based check we do offer a wider range, from the always fun fiendish hive -minded model to the ravishing flesh eating swarms.
Tribble demons, golems and half tribble templets also available.


The Witch Hunter General wrote:
The Dalesman wrote:
The Witch Hunter General wrote:

See Spell Stowaway epic feat from SRD... I'm just trying to think of some additional powers here which Candle Lighter might have.

Rumours over which such spells Candle Lighter holds sway over vary over the years. It is possible that some of the records have been fabricated by his agents to mislead hunters, or that he has some means to adjust his attunement to such spells.
"To clarify something - if a spell is already active prior to coming within proximity of Candle Lighter, is it susceptible to the same thing, or only spells that are actually cast in his presence?"

According to what the books say, only ones cast in his presence. The books may be wrong, however, or he may have developed the ability above and beyond what is suspected.

All this is well and good, but it seems that CL has taken on the powers of a Lord of the Board. Are there limits to that?


The Witch Hunter General wrote:

According to what the books say, only ones cast in his presence. The books may be wrong, however, or he may have developed the ability above and beyond what is suspected.

"Hmmm - food for thought".

munches a random snack from the bar

"Well, I think one of the 'Jacks' here has a pretty big hammer/maul thingy - maybe we need to see what that thing can do. My main weapon may only be a blade, but it can inflict a lot of grief on something that is unliving."

I never got the full details from my old DM about what this double-bladed sword did exactly, just that it was an epic weapon, +7, and did heinous things to undead. I would guess something like the 'Holy Power' weapon trait maybe, with a few extras


Jack Hammer wrote:
All this is well and good, but it seems that CL has taken on the powers of a Lord of the Board. Are there limits to that?

Yes and no.

There are limits. The legends speak of a creature of terrifying puissiance known as the PostMonster General, who has power over even lords of the boards.
But for practical purposes, with regard to your present situation, possibly there are no limits.
If Candle Lighter has stolen the powers of a lord of the boards, then it might do well to try to assist that lord in regaining his powers from Candle Lighter.

The Exchange

Jack Hammer wrote:
The Witch Hunter General wrote:
The Dalesman wrote:
The Witch Hunter General wrote:

See Spell Stowaway epic feat from SRD... I'm just trying to think of some additional powers here which Candle Lighter might have.

Rumours over which such spells Candle Lighter holds sway over vary over the years. It is possible that some of the records have been fabricated by his agents to mislead hunters, or that he has some means to adjust his attunement to such spells.
"To clarify something - if a spell is already active prior to coming within proximity of Candle Lighter, is it susceptible to the same thing, or only spells that are actually cast in his presence?"

According to what the books say, only ones cast in his presence. The books may be wrong, however, or he may have developed the ability above and beyond what is suspected.

All this is well and good, but it seems that CL has taken on the powers of a Lord of the Board. Are there limits to that?

"There are always limits, it's just a matter of finding them," Angel says. "Perhaps our best bet is to find a way to free Kobold Cleaver before we attack Candle Lighter. Or seek out another LotB and recruit them to our cause."

Edit: ninjaed by the Witch Hunter


Flies in, looking a bit tired. Lands near the treant and hands him a small, red, glowing seed.

Sunny G told me to give that to you, that you would know how to finish making that into a seed of destruction for the dracolich.

Walks over to the bar and sits down.
I guess he was still a little miffed about my defection to the Jacks because he made me wait for-flipping-ever before he was willing to talk to me. How about a Dark and Stormy? I could really use a pick-me-up about now.


Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:

Tribble catalog pops in

From the intro page
Tribbles come in a wide range of sizes and colors. The common tribble enhances a calming mood This counts as a +2 to any charisma based check we do offer a wider range, from the always fun fiendish hive -minded model to the ravishing flesh eating swarms.
Tribble demons, golems and half tribble templets also available.

Seeker, this is both hilarious and frightening at the same time. Well played sir, well played! :)

The Exchange

Hey Lynora, do they have a hot tub around here? I want to relax before we head off to kill the dracolitch. It might be the last time I get to.


Angel of Violence wrote:
Hey Lynora, do they have a hot tub around here? I want to relax before we head off to kill the dracolitch. It might be the last time I get to.

Yeah, it's right over there. And that sounds like an excellent idea, Angel. I think I'll join you.


A large hot tub sits to the side of the olympic-sized pool


The Dalesman wrote:
Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:

Tribble catalog pops in

From the intro page
Tribbles come in a wide range of sizes and colors. The common tribble enhances a calming mood This counts as a +2 to any charisma based check we do offer a wider range, from the always fun fiendish hive -minded model to the ravishing flesh eating swarms.
Tribble demons, golems and half tribble templets also available.

Seeker, this is both hilarious and frightening at the same time. Well played sir, well played! :)

You should see the whole list


The Witch Hunter General starts to gather up his various scrolls and books.
I have business elsewhere, which calls me away. Can I answer any other questions for you, before I go?


lynora-Jill wrote:

Flies in, looking a bit tired. Lands near the treant and hands him a small, red, glowing seed.

Sunny G told me to give that to you, that you would know how to finish making that into a seed of destruction for the dracolich.

Walks over to the bar and sits down.
I guess he was still a little miffed about my defection to the Jacks because he made me wait for-flipping-ever before he was willing to talk to me. How about a Dark and Stormy? I could really use a pick-me-up about now.

"I think he had to go get some more. I'm still waiting on mine too. I think he and Alaina wiped out the supply."

points to the precariously perched priestess in pumps


The collective sends probes to gather information of ongoing events

The Exchange

... wrote:
A large hot tub sits to the side of the olympic-sized pool

*slips out of her traveling clothes to reveal a very slinky thong bikini*

This is going to feel so good.

*slowly slides into the water*

Any of you boys want to join us? The only rule is no touching.

If you type "angel of violence" into yahoo, I'm the fifth thing that comes up.


The Witch Hunter General wrote:

The Witch Hunter General starts to gather up his various scrolls and books.

I have business elsewhere, which calls me away. Can I answer any other qestions for you, before I go?

"I can't think of anything at the moment, but what you already told us gives us a good starting point. Hopefully you'll be able to stop back by if you come across any other information that might help. Thanks for everything so far!"


A large throne appears , surrounded by naked fiendish nymphs

"Don't mind me I'm just here to watch. On another note I can let you barrow a few legions, minions so enjoy a good fight after all"


Angel of Violence wrote:
... wrote:
A large hot tub sits to the side of the olympic-sized pool

*slips out of her traveling clothes to reveal a very slinky thong bikini*

This is going to feel so good.

*slowly slides into the water*

Any of you boys want to join us? The only rule is no touching.

I make an exception to that rule for JH, she says with a sly grin.

As she goes to get into the tub she realizes that she is wearing the chain shirt instead of her usual bikini. She hesitates for a moment before quickly taking the shirt off and getting into the water so that nothing is obviously visible. She stretches her wings up and lays them on the side so they don't get too wet.


ARGH! SO ...MANY ... POSTS!

Alaina wakes up after a confused evening tangled in her satin sheets. She dimly recals many Dark&Stormies, some drunken karaoke and a nightime skinnydip down at the beach. Her hair is full of sand and her head feels as if someone keeps dropping burlap sacks of scrap iron on top of it. She emerges from her tangle of sheets and sees a damp sandy Dark&Stormy Knight shirt on the floor. She groans ...

There was something else, some sort of dream ... She looks over and sees something piled over on her sitting table. She pads over and looks down.

A coiled whip greets her bloodshot eyes. Unlike the normal knotted leather ones she is used to, this one looks as if it was made from articulated pieces of yellowjacket chitin. At its tip a large stinger protrudes. The handle is a glowing crystal shaft, the pommel a lifelike rendition of a yellowjacket's head. Her dream comes flooding back...

She had been standing before her goddess, talking about things. She couldn't remember everything, but Calistria had told her she was to go forth with her blessing. She had given her the whip as a token of her favor. 'Use it to its best effect' the goddess had purred.

Alaina shakes her fuzzy head, and pads to the shower. After a quick scrubbing he dresses in her adamantine chainmail bikini, straps her bandoleer of daggers on and attaches her new yellow-black chitin whip to her hip. Calf-high hard boots complete the ensemble.

Alaina emerges out and strolls over to her assembled friends.


The hostess of this club has been kind to my assistant, so although dracoliches generally fall outside of my purview, I am repaying that debt as best I can.
Good day to you all.
He takes his books and scrolls and leaves.


Angel of Violence wrote:
... wrote:
A large hot tub sits to the side of the olympic-sized pool

*slips out of her traveling clothes to reveal a very slinky thong bikini*

This is going to feel so good.

*slowly slides into the water*

Any of you boys want to join us? The only rule is no touching.

If you type "angel of violence" into yahoo, I'm the fifth thing that comes up.

observes the wondrous variety of wardrobe options springing up all around, then laughs

"This is seriously damaging my calm...on the other hand, my feet could use a little R&R."

excuses himself from the bar and heads over to the tub, pulls off his boots and rolls up his breeches, then gingerly puts his legs in the water, perching easily on the edge and taking care to avoid Lynora-Jill's wings

"Ahhh - heaven. It's the simple joys in life..."
contented/silly grin on face


Alaina walks up to the group in the hot tub. The large whip at her side gives off a hum like an angry wasp hive on a hot July day.

Well, folks, sorry I am late to the party. What's been going on?


Alaina, priestess of Calistria wrote:

Alaina walks up to the group in the hot tub. The large whip at her side gives off a hum like an angry wasp hive on a hot July day.

Well, folks, sorry I am late to the party. What's been going on?

I'm not really sure. I just got back myself. Angel suggested that we take a little relaxation time in the hot tub and it sounded like a good idea to me. Nice whip. That new?


Alaina glances down at the large slightly-alien-looking whip

Yes ... A ... token of favor from my goddess.

Alaina looks at the hot tub. She takes her weapons off, shimmies out of her adamantine bikini and eases herself into the warm bubbling waters.

Oh sweet Limbo I have SUCH a hangover ....

Looks to the bar

Acme? Could you whip me up a Bloody Mary? ..Uh, the tomato juice kind ...


*BEEP*

Right away miss!

Zips over with a large red beverage with a stalk of celery in it


*whirs up to the hot tub with a large tray of dark and stormies.*

Apologies for the delay patrons. We had to bring some of the ingredients up from the storeroom.


Oh sweet heavens, I thought these were never coming.

Picks up a dark and stormy and takes a long sip, then sets it down on the side of the tub using her shirt as a coaster.


A large Jack with a shiny scar running down his midsection comes clumping back from the meadows. An M16A2 is slung across his back and he is dressed in camouflage fatigue shorts.

I just did a scope of the boundaries and found this.

Holds up a bizzarely-mutated monster head. He tosses it in the pool trash bin.

I think it was one of those 'Defective' things spying on us. It had these.

Tosses a long-range listening device and a pair of binoculars on the table.

I think we are being wa ....

Suddenly notices the many women in the hot tub.

Uh, did I miss a memo?


Malice Jack wrote:


Suddenly notices the many women in the hot tub.

Uh, did I miss a memo?

We're relaxing so that we'll be in top form later on. Good work on spotting that spy.


picks up his own Dark&Stormy from the tray, and grabs one to offer to Malice Jack

"Good work indeed. Do we need to have more people out there to watch the perimeter?"


Malice smiles and grabs the D&S from the Dalesman. He slurps a long pull of it, then sits on the edge of the hot tub and dangles his metallic feet in the tub.

It couldn't hurt to do a little recon now and again. The borders of these realms are incredibly porous, especially a neutral spot like this. Why, this place was packed with demons not less than a week ago! Who knows what all is hiding out in the fields and forests. There's a whole tangle of ATV trails out there. I took the Joyner Trooper Dunebuggy out for a spin and found Ugly there in a tree fort. Looked like he'd been there for a while.

Eyes wander over to Alaina who is reaching for her drink.

Umm ... yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't more out there ..


lynora-Jill wrote:

Flies in, looking a bit tired. Lands near the treant and hands him a small, red, glowing seed.

Sunny G told me to give that to you, that you would know how to finish making that into a seed of destruction for the dracolich.

Walks over to the bar and sits down.
I guess he was still a little miffed about my defection to the Jacks because he made me wait for-flipping-ever before he was willing to talk to me. How about a Dark and Stormy? I could really use a pick-me-up about now.

Emperor7 takes the seed and examines it closely, and a look of understanding appears on his countenance. He sends a tendril and seed to the meadow outside of the club, and it reaches deep within the earth.

Fire Flower. Alaina. When you are done soaking your roots within the bubbling water would you join me?

Liberty's Edge

Somebody need their roots soaked?


Signing off for an hour so I can drive home :) Should be able to check in for another hour or so. Save me some excitement!


Alaina looks up at the wise old treant.

Sure thing Tree Emperor!

Grabbing the edge she eases out of the warm waters. Grabing a towel she rubs herself down, then slips a short yellow-black sundress over her head.

Lynora can you keep an eye on my gear? I don't want anyone messing with it, I still don't know all its properties ...

Alaina follows the treant, rubbing her damp red-blonde hair as she goes.


Angel of Violence wrote:

Angel says. "Perhaps our best bet is to find a way to free Kobold Cleaver before we attack Candle Lighter. Or seek out another LotB and recruit them to our cause."

If we free KC do we risk freeing...HER? Is there a way to commune with KC's spirit? One that doesn't put lynora-Jill at risk?

After speaking the words Jack Hammer seems to become lost in thought. His face becomes a stormcloud, as if he is arguing with someone, and he wanders outside muttering.


Mistress Fire Flower. I need your help. I dare not touch the Earth Flame myself.

The ground shifts near Alaina's feet, and forms a mini-volcano. From its top falls a small red rock, glowing with a bright light. It burns the ground where it falls.

I have combined the Seeds of the Earth and Sky. This might have some effect on the creature.


Alaina looks at the burning rock

What should I do?


Jack Hammer wrote:
Angel of Violence wrote:

Angel says. "Perhaps our best bet is to find a way to free Kobold Cleaver before we attack Candle Lighter. Or seek out another LotB and recruit them to our cause."

If we free KC do we risk freeing...HER? Is there a way to commune with KC's spirit? One that doesn't put lynora-Jill at risk?

After speaking the words Jack Hammer seems to become lost in thought. His face becomes a stormcloud, as if he is arguing with someone, and he wanders outside muttering.

Lynora-Jill watches him go with a look of abject misery on her face. There has to be some way of fully undoing what she did to him she whispers


...you shall not win. There will be no sacrifice...Your ways are known to me now.....

He seems to be arguing with his hand. The hand wrapped in Sky Metal and hold the Hammer engraved with the Forms of Death and Destruction.


Heathansson wrote:
Somebody need their roots soaked?

Malice looks over at the appearing Lord

Hey it's Wolfman Jack! You gonna help us smack that undead lizard and get that Cleaver? Or are you just here for the eye candy?


A small frog hops out from the pool cabana and comes to sit by Lynora-Jill.

Lynora, Lemmiwinks is still sleepin. I'm bored .


Malice looks over

Just a second, kid.


*casts summon cthulhu floaty*
Here, margarinefrog. Does that help?


Alaina, priestess of Calistria wrote:

Alaina looks at the burning rock

What should I do?

darn post monster

Pick it up. You are safe.

This is the Earth Blood, made from the Seeds of Earth and Sun and Sky, the Earth Flame. Its fires burn hot. Magical wards will not stop it. You will be able to throw it as far as you can see.

It won't destroy a being such as CL but it will damage him.

It can also be used to aid your Fire Powers.


The hammer glows with energy but JH's grip does not weaken. He forces the hammer to the ground and the glow fades.

Who's the boss now, bi-itch! he says with a look of triumph on his face.

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