Father Avon, immortal aspirant of peace.

[Matthew Morris]

Father Avon, immortal aspirant of peace.

Male elan psion (telepath) 5/thrallherd 2
Description:
Tall, pale skinned and dark haired, Father Avon looks like an Azlanti painting come to life. His eyes often seem unfocused, as though he looks inward rather than at the world around him. Only when he is speaking of bringing peace to the land, under his reign, does any sign of his power shine through.
Even Father Avon himself doesn’t recall his origins. When he first arrived in Galt, his clothes and speech were those of far off Castrovel and his features and bearing those of an Azlanti noble. The first mob he encountered met their fate in a blast of fire. The second was frozen solid on a hot day. The sole survivor of the third mob managed to give him the information. He was in Galt, and the land needed his guidance and strength. That was ten years ago.
He established his base in a town in southern Galt. As they answered his call, he treated his followers as a family. He either isolated his thralls, or used psionic suggestion to persuade their loved ones to join his cause. He now manipulates things slowly and methodically, and knows that he will ultimately triumph regardless of how long it might take. He is loyal to his family, and will actually risk short term goals to keep them safe. He will sacrifice them as needed. He knows more will come to answer his call.
Motivations/Goals: Avon desires to bring education and stability to Golarion by first stabilizing his adopted town, then expanding his influence to encompass Galt while on his way to world domination. He knows he alone can do this, and woe betide anyone foolish enough to stand in his way. Following Galt’s takeover, he plans on liberating Cheliax from its devil-tainted leadership. When he has taken over the world, he plans to take the test of the Starstone and ascend to godhood. Avon’s most defining trait is his patience.

Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks:

A plague is ravaging a small town, and their adept is gone. She’s been called by Avon, and is now happy and content in her new town, helping people there. Can the party get her to return? Should they?

The party encounters a young paladin following a vision that calls him to be Avon’s new thrall. Can the party keep him from falling? Is Avon’s dream of a stable society too good to be true?

A tearful follower approaches the party with a bold mission; steal one of Galt’s final blades to release the soul of her child. Is she being honest, or is this part of Avon’s wider plans?

The party is approached by one of Avon’s thralls or followers and is asked to recover an item from a Chelish relic hunter. Recovering the item will weaken Chelaxian influence in the area, but are the PCs trading one fiendish overlord for another?

[Clark Peterson]

Initial Impression: I don’t like psionics. So that is a mark against you. Fair? Maybe not, but there it is. Aspirant of peace? Huh? Is this a villain submission? I hope that means “evil peace through my brutal conquest of all who oppose me, muuhahahahahaha!”

Word Count: 493.

Concept (name, title, is it actually a villain?, overall design choices, playability): D
The Good: I like the slow cooker—a villain that has long term plans.
The Bad: Let me get this straight—he wants to bring peace and education and stability to the world and he is loyal and patient (“his most defining trait is his patience”) and cares about the safety of his followers? He wants to remove the evil from Cheliax? I don’t think this is a villain. He’s more like a liberal politically correct educator who can cast fireball. I may disagree with the cheesy PC agenda, but I wouldn’t call that person a villain. He may brainwash people into joining him, but that just isn’t evil enough. I just don’t understand this villain. What does he do that is bad, other than believe he is a god and lure people to his following—and then love and protect them? You’ve basically just painted a religious zealot—just one that has some psionic powers to help him with conversion. And you layer on the hubris of thinking he should be the god. I think this is a very, very poor villain concept. Plus, I don’t really know what he believes. What if he preaches patience and education and safety and loyalty? How is that bad? Now, if he turned his followers into mindless slaves convinced that all living things not following him were to be killed, that would be something. But this submission leaves his teachings alone. Just being a magically (or psionically) charismatic leader with a huge ego isn’t good enough to be a villain. You actually have to want to do something bad.

Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, quality of mandatory content-physical description, motivation/goal, scheme/plot, presence of any disqualification criteria): B-
The Good: Meets the minimum requirements.
The Bad: This submission doesn’t really tell us anything about his motives. Why are there mobs that he has to blast with fire or freeze? What do his followers do that is bad? The only thing I can tell is that he wants to do something good—get the evil out of Cheliax.

Tilt (did it grab me?, is it unique and cool?, do I like it?, flavor and setting): D
Nope. I get the sense perhaps the author had a bad experience in church at a young age.

Overall: C-
A villain that wants education and loyalty and who is, above all, patient is just not doing it for me.

Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this villain submission for advancement.

I liked your bracelet of shields, but I think you dropped the ball here. I wish you luck and hope the voters see it differently than I did!

[Ed Greenwood]

Initial Impression: Is this a villain? Religious zealot, yes, but he seems to have good or at least benign traits. Different, yes, so I’m interested, but . . .

Concept: So we have a slow, patient character who values loyalty and education. Patriarchal, perhaps, but I’m not seeing villainy.

Execution: Nothing wrong with the writing style. However, I’m mystified as to Father Avon’s motives, and what he’s like as a PERSON. Hobbies? Favorite food? Interests, that a PC could possibly lure him with? Anything?
Without more, I can’t even be sure if he’s a nutcase (he “knows that he will ultimately triumph” so is that knowing self-delusion, or is he privy to divine foreknowledge, or - - what?) or a god or divine avatar (perhaps of limited self-awareness, who will remember his full power and godhood when something specific happens or is achieved). Again, I’m interested but baffled. A villain? Still can’t tell. A gigantic dinosaur can squash you flat, but if it does so without noticing you, or by misunderstanding what you are or your intent towards it, does that make it a villain? Or just a monster? Or just part of an unfortunate circumstance? If he really is "immortal," tell me more. How so? If the PCs destroy him, does he just "come back"? If the PCs can't destroy him, what then? Or does the submission mean to say "won't die of natural causes"? Regardless, I need an answer, and the wrong one will rob the character of "game balance" or suspense (if you CAN'T destroy him, there goes the neighborhood . . . and perhaps the campaign).

Tilt: I’m not seeing a villain here. I’m seeing a character pursuing his own goals that a DM could deploy so as to bring him into conflict with PCs, but it’s going to have to be the DM’s doing; there’s nothing inherently villainous in Father Avon as prevented. (And “Father” of what faith? For that matter, I’d have chosen another name than “Avon,” a modern real-world trademarked line of goods as well as a publishing imprint as well as a place name.) I need to see inside this character more, to see how to run him.

Overall: I’m sorry, but in the end I can see this character being used as a villain, but I can’t see the character (as presented) as BEING a villain. My interest is mired in confusion, not sparking lots of adventure ideas, so . . . for me, this submission has failed. I WANT to like and use this character, but what's presented just doesn't say "villain" to me. NPC, yes, still with some questions to be answered, but . . . no.

Recommendation: Sorry, not recommended for advancement.

[Sean K Reynolds]

A mysterious guy who wants to bring peace to the world by conquering it.
Author went out of the way to make this guy psionic and an elan (aberration race), but neither of those things really has anything to do with what he is or why he does it--he just as easily could have been a human sorcerer.
Other than using some mind control to encourage people to join him (which certainly isn't good), I don't see this guy as villainous, any moreso than Mengkare of Hermea is villainous because he's selectively inviting superior humans to join his little experimental island-colony-country.

Rec: do not advance.

[Wolfgang Baur]

I am a sucker for the Azlanti angle, even if I don't like psionics. But hey, sometimes a psionic can be written so well that I overlook the non-core-fantasy-ness of it (from my perspective).

This one hints at that, but doesn't quite make it. I get a sense of a sort of Manson-family-vibe here, with the thralls and the setting up of a long-term goal to reach the Starstone.

That's all very cool, but then there's the sense that Father Avon is something beyond what we see (maybe a time traveller or someone released from stasis). Unfortunately, the writeup is coy about his origins; I will, for once, say that one sentence of backstory here might have turned this one around for me. Say, "A survivor of Azlant who will do anything to return the sunken lands to glory."

I need ambition to feed this guy's villainy. And I'm just not seeking enough of it to lead to a memorable clash with the PCs.

Recommendation Took a design risk with psionics, didn't quite win me over (and it's a shame). NOT recommended to advance.

[Nicholas Herold]

Kind of weird that there's multiple pacifist priests floating about this round. I guess people are going for the risky "ooh, that's different!" approach.

[Xaaon of Xen'Drik]

An immortal aspirant of peace that is a villain I think would have to be reckless...He can't wait for the peace it has to be NOW, it has to be peace no matter what the cost, even if the peace is over the survivors of the holocaust...

just my 2 coppers.

[Matthew Morris]

Thank you for your comments Gentlemen.

[Chancebyname]

I really like him. I think it's interesting that he has overall good-aligned goals, but that he's willing to do evil things to get there. A little evil in the present from a greater good in the future. I'm not sure if "villain" really describes him, though. He is an adversary, but the term villain generally applies more to an evil, or at least bad, person. Nevertheless, the idea that the players have to make a choice when encountering him or his deeds is pretty excellent. I could even see an adventuring party supporting him.

[Charles Evans 25]

Hmm. I think that this is supposed to be a crazy maniac who uses an 'ends justify the means' justification (ends equal world peace and personal godhood, means equals brainwashing/dominating as many people as possible that he comes into contact with).
I feel that just a line or two extra here or there, or a better used turn of phrase could have turned this entry around and made clear what exactly the writer was trying to convey; as it is, I can't be certain what the intentions were.
I am also not a fan of psionics, and have no idea what an 'elan' is.

Will this villain cause the PCs grief?
Unclear.

[Matthew Morris]

Oh, forgot to ask,

Wolfgang! What about the formatting? I really tried this time.

[Reckless]

Reckless Ratings

Concept3
(Is this villain villainous?)
Content2
(Grammar, Format,Spelling, Etc.)
Coolness3
(Would my players be impressed by this? Am I?)
Credibility3
(Does the villain’s motives make sense?)
Clarity2
(How good a sense of how to stat this villain do we get?)

Scores out of 5 and completely based on my opinion only.
Total Score13

[Wolfgang Baur]

Matthew Morris wrote:

Wolfgang! What about the formatting? I really tried this time.

You totally nailed the formatting!!

I thought that this was an easier formatting round, but in fact several of the contestants didn't get it right. I was surprised that Description/Goals/Hooks was that complicated, but apparently....

[Russ Taylor]

How would the average Golarion recognize the clothes and accents of a person from Castrovel? The planets don't have frequent enough contact for that. I found this a jarring start to the setting, plus as a reader I'm usually not big on setting up mysteries - if I'm using the product, I'd like to know where he's from, not be teased about it.

From a Pathfinder Society perspective, this would be a good villain for the Cheliax faction. But for the campaign setting as a whole, it fails the villain test for me.

[Sue Flaherty]

All the set up is there, but the villainy is just missing ... only one spot, where he will sacrifice his thralls, because he can always get more, made him feel a bit ruthless, but it was undermined for me by the prior sentence, where he'll give up short term goals for his beloved "family" ... Also, the name totally got me on the wrong foot-- "Avon Calling!" -- sorry.

[Corrosive Rabbit]

I can get behind the concept of a mysterious prophet walking into civilization from the wilderness -- it's been done, but it's a compelling backstory. Unfortunately, I have to join the other posters in wondering where the villainy is. For me, this works well as the write up for a head of state and power player in the game world, but there's nothing that shows me that he's going to be a campaign-defining villain.

CR

[magdalena thiriet]

Psionic elan religious leader, didn't we have one last year? And what's worse, didn't we have better one last year?

There is stuff here which I could use with some work, and having "nice" bad guys does have its twisted appeal to me, but...

[Maurice de Mare]

magdalena thiriet wrote:

Psionic elan religious leader, didn't we have one last year? And what's worse, didn't we have better one last year?

Yes and Yes. We did, I never voted for Voeren because of the 'Dutch' angle but he was quite well done.

This however is not a villain. No vote from me!

[Winterwalker]

This reads more dark hero to me maybe, not enough villain in this one.

[Montalve]

Morris,I like thecharacter, and as Ed Greenwood I can see howhemight have been a villian... you just hide his skeletons in the closet so well that we are not really seeing them.

There was a similar villian in a short story of Ravenloft... he was a priest that healed the people and cared for them, but he had a problem... there was a vampire closeabusing and killing the people, so when a paladin or such heroes appeared he sent them there...

the truth... the vampire and therpiest were allied... the priest was from another averrant race (i can't remember which) he feed from the people that adored him almost like a god and brainwashed them... he sent heroes and tributes to the vampire so he might feed... it was quite a simbiotic relationship... of course the 'priest' was the morepowerful of the two and the vampire was only was his servant...

Iam not saying you should have done something LIKE this, and while i believe Father Avon is trying to take all free will of the world, i do believe you need to show more clearly his true agenda... yes it was perfectly writen as to present him to the PCs... but not to the DM

[roguerouge]

My, we have high standards for villainy here. I want to point out that this guy's been described just by the judges as a religious zealot, a brainwasher, and a megalomaniac with a Manson-family vibe.

[Zombieneighbours]

You know some one else who wanted to bring peace and stablity to the galaxy? Thats right, Emperor Palpatine. *Nods.* Sure he had to create the chaos to save the republic from, before he could do it, but yeah, peace and stablity can come from tyrany as well as happy shiny goodness.

With that defence hot of my lips, i have to say that i am not keen on the NPC, just didn't ring any bells for me.

[Ernest Mueller]

3/10

One strike for using psionics, especially with the "elan" thing. And is he a villain really? I mean, his endgame isn't really even evil, unlike the similar Rezo the Red Priest from Slayers.

[James MacKenzie]

My reading of this character suggests that Avon is more villainous than the judges gave him credit for. His psionic abilities give him the ability to mentally enslave those around him, forcing them to become his "thralls". The priest's mysterious origins suggest that he's actually the tool of powerful and malevolent entities such as aboleth.

Unfortunately, the author expects his readers to infer this knowledge from minor details of his description, rather than clearly spelling out the facts. In future rounds, he needs to provide sinister descriptions of the villain's methods and ominous background, rather than expecting readers to note suggestive details in the text.

[Jason Rice]

OK, the messageboard ate my post. TWICE. Hopefully I can still explain my thoughts as well the third time...

I dont feel that Avon is a villan. World domination does not necessarily mean evil domination. Frank Herbert's "Dune" series is a good example of this (after the 1st book). From a certain point of view, parents can be said to dominate their children, and many a teenager has felt this way. They can force their kids to do things the kids dont want to do, and break up fights between thier kids. This certainly does not make them evil. Avon refers to those he dominates as "family", and he could simply see himself as a father figure to the world (hence the desire for the Starstone). He is simply forcing the world to do what is in the world's best interest (world peace). His evil intent needs to be explained better.

Likewise, taking the starstone test does not make one evil. Two established Pathfinder dieties of good became gods through the Starstone (Cayden Cailean and Iomedae).

Also, if you are going to use a non-core race AND two non-core classes, you need to lead the readers by the hand a little more. I don't use psionics, and have no idea what it means to be Elan, Psion, or Thrallherd. Worse, I'm not even told where to look for more information. You left me with no idea of this character's capabilities or background. DISCLAIMER: As I stated in another post, I still use the 3rd ed. Monster Manual. if any of this is explained in the 3.5 MM, I apologize and retract this statement.

Finally, the use of Avon as a name was not a good choice, regardless of origin. I immediately thought of cosmetics. If you do advance, hopefully you can "make up" any ground you lost with some of the readers.

I couldn't resist.

[roguerouge]

Jason Rice wrote:

Also, if you are going to use a non-core race AND two non-core classes, you need to lead the readers by the hand a little more. I don't use psionics, and have no idea what it means to be Elan, Psion, or Thrallherd.

It's in the SRD, which is the standard reference document. I'll link to the 3.5 version, but there is one for the 3.0 version online as well.

Linky:

Go to Elans.

Go to Psion.

Go to Thrallherd.

Remember: the judges last round WROTE that contestants should assume that their readers have good Google-fu. I don't regard it to be a problem if I have to go refresh myself on the nature of an otyugh or a rakshasa, so I don't find it to be a problem to refresh my memory about psionics either.

[TriOmegaZero]

Definately a very ambiguous character. Perhaps too grey for people who like their good and evil in black and white.

Reading the discussion so far, I got to thinking of the Borg. Change his tactics to psionically brainwash his followers and you've got it. 'You will be assimilated into our land of peace.' Champions of freewill would line up to take this guy down.

[Jason Nelson]

Some interesting bits and pieces, though as pointed out how would most people in Golarion have any idea what an Azlanti or a Castrovelian looked like? On balance, though, he's just not villainous enough. He's like a lightweight Jim Jones without the Kool-Aid or the sex rings or any of the other stuff that made Jim Jones infamous.

[deadly_puddingcup]

Not really a villain.

[Cuchulainn]

I must be out of touch with everyone else. I like this villain. I like the "Road to Hell paved with good intentions" angle.

Many of the atrocities in our own world history were created by people exactly like this.

[Jason Rice]

Thanks Roguerouge. I appreciate it.

[roguerouge]

Jason Rice wrote:

Thanks Roguerouge. I appreciate it.

Not a problem. For once, google-fu was mine! Seriously, you wouldn't believe the number of times that my students direct me to neat stuff online. I was glad to pay it forward for once!

[Steven Helt]

I think this is both bad design and writing. He doesn't remember where he comes from. Then mobs charge him and get killed. But the mobs were trying to tell him they needed him? Makes no sense, I am lost and don't care by this point.

A nice guy who opposes diabolists is in no way a villain. A guy who thinks the only path to peace is under his rule might be a villain. But not this guy. I didn't learn anything about him or why I should throw him at my party. I'm not in his head, therefore he's not in mine.

Avon is a pretty bad name. Your design choices don't intrigue people cause they aren't familiar enough.

Not the worst entry, but not a good one.

[Curaigh]

Matthew Morris wrote:

Father Avon, immortal aspirant of peace.

...

...She’s been called by Avon, and is now happy and content in her new town, helping people there....

... following a vision that calls him to be Avon’s new thrall...

Avon Calling!*

Seriously though, I liked these hooks, they showed evilness in that he was pulling good folks away from good things--sort of corrupting them to indifference. I liked this aspect of a villain.

Spoiler:

*was this intentional? a joke? or am I just that old to remember the ads that others might have missed?

[Jorrik the Fat]

This just isn't a villain. He's not even necessarily much of an antagonist - I can actually see some non-evil PCs deciding to join him! Sure, he's immoral, but that doesn't make him a villain, just misguided as to his methods (I'd guess he's Lawful Neutral). I had to read the entry three times to make sure I hadn't missed something... but, no, this just isn't a villain. So no vote from me, I'm afraid.

[Joel Flank]

I agree with Sean here, if you're going to use something non-core like psionics, show why psionics are useful here instead of the sorcerer or wizard option. I'm not anti-psionics, but feel that if you do use them, you have to make them feel different.

Also, this reads like Avon could pretty easily be a patron for the PCs to help him stop all of the evil of Galt and then Cheliax. Between not having anything strongly evil in his methods and having him target the reformation of two pretty evil places on Golarion, this guy sounds pretty good actually. If his second choice after Galt had been somewhere that's more good aligned, such as Taldor that at least suggests that this guy is someone the PCs would really want to stop.

[Charles Evans 25]

Commiserations.

[Matthew Morris]

Ok, was working on these for a while, but missed work (where the notes were) so this is a vicodin enhanced document dump.

Notes:

Why Psionics?
Psionics was not meant as an attempt to curry favour with Wolfgang, or anyone else for that matter. The fact is that Psionics is a unique, well balanced system, and I’m one of the most vocal defenders of the XPH on the boards. If I had an agenda, it was to pick one of my favourite classes and races. Again, strike from the comfort zone.

Father Avon calling?
Ok, I didn’t see that one. Blame it on my gender. There is a joke in Avon’s name though. Avon backwards is Nova. So it’s a joke on the ‘psions are overpowered’ rift.

What’s an Elan? What’s a Thrallherd? What is defenestrate?
As Rogue Rogue pointed out in my defense, it’s assumed that since anything in the SRD was fair game, people could/would look it up. I needed to look up the different hags for example. Of my many mistakes, I won’t apologize for this.

Other comments.
I don’t like fat bloated overused demon lords, or lawyers. Fortunately, I don’t hold it against anyone. ;-)

Where are all these pesky mobs? Cut for word count, but Galt is described in the campaign setting as “Galt is a dangerous place for strangers. The mobs are always search for new victims for the final blades.” “Statues are shattered and parks ruined by the homeless mobs who have come to the city in search of food.”
Also in Pathfinder 18, Eando gets dragged for an appointment with a final razor just for stopping to help someone. Again, my error for relying overly much on printed material, and expecting the judges to be familiar with said material.

Ed Greenwoods comments hit my biggest fear and my biggest weakness; Getting the info from my brain to the paper. I was hard pressed with the word count, not used to such constraints. Live and learn.

‘What is he?’ I understand Wolfgang’s concern, but I didn’t want to come out and say “He’s a survivor of Azlant, who became an Elan and now wants to conquer the inner sea and become a god.” I call it the ‘Killing Mrs. Troi problem.” When Star Trek novels are written, it’s against the rules to give any main character a brother/sister/child that’s not cannon, or to kill a character. Peter David said that when Majel read Imzadi she said “You killed me Peter, you know you can’t do that.” I felt I couldn’t come out and say he was a survivor; it seems to change Aroden too much. “I’m the last Azlanti. Well except for him, and yeah, him, and yeah her over in the corner.” I chose stability over risk, looks like I shouldn’t have. (Ironic isn’t it that this is what Avon offers?)

Sean, the thrallherd was/is a choice I made to avoid the ‘dispel bait’ trap. Thrallherd leadership is an (ex) ability. No “Ok, I dispel magic/psionics on the cult, now he doesn’t have followers.” Also no ‘I cast detect charm, what do I get?’ What makes a Thrallherd a scary villain is that you can wipe out his entire cult, but if he gets away, 24 hours, he starts all over again. “A thrallherd’s first thrall and believers arrive within 24 hours of her entry into this class; likewise, lost thralls and believers are replaced within 24 hours.”

As to the ‘Not a villian’ category. The rules themselves list Magneto as an example. If you look to House of M, he won, and had brought peace and happiness to his people. Or when he led the X-men, or took over Genosha. Also the FAQ and the judges comments seem to be different, since the Faq even talks about good villains. Again, this ran into my lack of experience with word count, as well as the above inability to get my brain to paper.

Thank you to everyone who read, thank you more to everyone who voted (all 5 of us) and thanks to most of the critiques of my work.

I'll now retreat to the Hermit cave with my volume II of Kobold's Guide to Game Design (of course I left it at work as well) and continue to play with my own toys and work on improving myself.

[Neil Spicer]

From one dragon to another...regardless of color...I salute you, sir!

I understand the design choices you made as you've laid out your explanations here. One of the hardest things to do, in my opinion, is to translate what's in your head about an idea into the written word so it properly conveys to those who read it. I can't always do that. No one can. You just give it your best shot and hope sometimes.

Regardless, it's been a pleasure verbally-sparring between our two avatars.

Sincerely,
--Neil

[Matthew Morris]

NSpicer wrote:

From one dragon to another...regardless of color...I salute you, sir!

I understand the design choices you made as you've laid out your explanations here. One of the hardest things to do, in my opinion, is to translate what's in your head about an idea into the written word so it properly conveys to those who read it. I can't always do that. No one can. You just give it your best shot and hope sometimes.

Regardless, it's been a pleasure verbally-sparring between our two avatars.

Sincerely,
--Neil

Thank you Neil. I wish you best of luck in the rounds to come.

[roguerouge]

Matthew Morris wrote:

There is a joke in Avon’s name though. Avon backwards is Nova. So it’s a joke on the ‘psions are overpowered’ rift.

Dude. That's just evil.

[roguerouge]

Matthew Morris wrote:

Where are all these pesky mobs? Cut for word count, but Galt is described in the campaign setting as “Galt is a dangerous place for strangers. The mobs are always search for new victims for the final blades.” “Statues are shattered and parks ruined by the homeless mobs who have come to the city in search of food.”
Also in Pathfinder 18, Eando gets dragged for an appointment with a final razor just for stopping to help someone. Again, my error for relying overly much on printed material, and expecting the judges to be familiar with said material.

Note: I'm one of those who skip the Eando stuff as "filler."

As far as the Galt stuff, one of the things that worries me about this year's PRPG is whether superstars will be punished or rewarded for their use of Golarion flavor. They could be both punished and rewarded. I wonder if erring too far towards knowledge of Golarion makes it too much of an inside game. I suppose it depends on the demographics of the voters; that'd be a great general forum thread: How familiar are you with Golarion? I'm not familiar enough to come up with a quiz or anything though.

Later comments:

Oh, how word count limits stink. The advantage of pdf and web distribution is that word count limits would go away as the print relic they are.

Props for the House of M reference. Although, really, he's not the big bad in that comic... is he?

[evilvolus]

roguerouge wrote:

Props for the House of M reference. Although, really, he's not the big bad in that comic... is he?

Well, Magneto even in HoM could be considered a villain, but not because he brought "peace and stability." HoM is a tables-turned sort of story, where Magneto took over the world, and ensured the dominance of mutantkind at the expense of non-powered folks. So, he's perceived as evil by the baseline humans that he subjugates.

But it's not taking over the world that makes him a villain, it's the mistreatment of "minorities."

Plus, House of M isn't a very good miniseries ;)

[Joshua Blazej]

Matthew Morris wrote:

Where are all these pesky mobs? Cut for word count, but Galt is described in the campaign setting as “Galt is a dangerous place for strangers. The mobs are always search for new victims for the final blades.” “Statues are shattered and parks ruined by the homeless mobs who have come to the city in search of food.”

Also in Pathfinder 18, Eando gets dragged for an appointment with a final razor just for stopping to help someone. Again, my error for relying overly much on printed material, and expecting the judges to be familiar with said material.

I think the judge's familiarity with the setting might have been a slight boon in the case of the Castrovel, as I would imagine they would have had more to say on that if they were aware of it.

[Russ Taylor]

Call me a fan of word counts. Being forced to edit down to fit a target word count helps tightness, and leads to weaker material being cut. The audience's time isn't unlimited :)

[evilvolus]

Russ Taylor wrote:

Call me a fan of word counts. Being forced to edit down to fit a target word count helps tightness, and leads to weaker material being cut. The audience's time isn't unlimited :)

I have to agree, but at the same time, pruning down to a word count is a very delicate thing. In this case, for example, it wasn't until the third use of "mob"...the "sole survivor" that made me certain he wasn't just using the MMO slang of "mob" to mean "enemy monster." A few more words explaining the nature of the roving homeless bandits or whatever would have saved this entry from my initial (undeserved) hatred.

[Matthew Morris]

ah, not having ever gotten into MMO I'd never heard that term before.

Like I said, I really hate word counts, bur if I ever want to publish something for someone (and not for my own enjoyment) I'll have to live with them.

Live and learn.