The Pigeon Dungeon


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Welcome to the Dungeon. We currently have only three inhabitants. They are Diswiker, Baby Mind Flayer, and Kobold Cleaver himself. Each of these folk were captured easily, except for Kobold Cleaver. Fortunately, thouigh he put up quite a fight, he made the mistake of fighting Candle Lighter. While he fought, Defectives came and 'converted' all of his Lemmings. Lemmings are now extinct, by the way.
Enjoy your stay.


I diswike dis dungeon.


You know I could steal the key to your cell, for a price.

The Exchange

Hey what am I doing here? I didn't order this drab scenery!


We have another prisoner! I caught this Thieving Wasp trying to sell Pigeon Repellent!


I didn't do nothing! Honest!


Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers. Make there be a prison so I can nibble on prisoners.


Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers.

No. We only trust Pigeons to do the job.


Thieving Wasp wrote:
I didn't do nothing! Honest!

Yummy, snack food. Come here little wasp...nomnomnomnom.

*flies after the wasp*


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers.
No. We only trust Pigeons to do the job.

What if I wear a pigeon costume?


Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers.
No. We only trust Pigeons to do the job.
What if I wear a pigeon costume?

Don't ever take a bath and stick a feather duster up your 'howza' and nobody will be able to tell the difference.


Another one! This plant tried to eat one of our guards!
It's acting like it's unintelligent, but it's every bit as smart as us. Don't let it fool you.


Johnathan Livingston wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers.
No. We only trust Pigeons to do the job.
What if I wear a pigeon costume?
Don't ever take a bath and stick a feather duster up your 'howza' and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

*Grabs seagull by the tail*

And if you wanna dress up like a seagull, just don't use the toilet and act like your Wisdom score is negative. Did you notice where you are? Into the dungeon with you!
*Tosses into cell taht resembles a cage*


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Another one! This plant tried to eat one of our guards!

It's acting like it's unintelligent, but it's every bit as smart as us. Don't let it fool you.

*Grumblegrumblegrumble*


Well if this dungeon needs an accountant in a pigeon suit... I still have one from last Halloween and I think I finally got the blood stains out.


My Eyes Are Boobs wrote:
Well if this dungeon needs an accountant in a pigeon suit... I still have one from last Halloween and I think I finally got the blood stains out.

Leave. Now. We only hire real Pigeons.


One angry accountant can shut a dungeon like this down for good. I can already see you deducted about three times more than you should have off your taxes, so watch yer mouth, pillow filler.


My Eyes Are Boobs wrote:
One angry accountant can shut a dungeon like this down for good. I canalready see you deducted about three times more than you should have off your taxes, so watch yer mouth, pillow filler.

You've been warned.

Also, you should know that laws do not apply here.
*Throws in dungeon*


Why yes... yes they do.

*escape dungeon.

See how easy asterix actions can be? Why, anyone can do 'em.

*drinks the sun and pees a world-girth stream of fiery death on the doomsquawker.


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Johnathan Livingston wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Mommy, what's a gagortion? wrote:
Can I be a guard here? I like to guard and I work for fingers. Prisoner's fingers.
No. We only trust Pigeons to do the job.
What if I wear a pigeon costume?
Don't ever take a bath and stick a feather duster up your 'howza' and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

*Grabs seagull by the tail*

And if you wanna dress up like a seagull, just don't use the toilet and act like your Wisdom score is negative. Did you notice where you are? Into the dungeon with you!
*Tosses into cell taht resembles a cage*

*Uses own poop as a lubracant and squeezes through the bars.*

Freedom...somehow it smells like poo.


Johnathan Livingston wrote:

*Uses own poop as a lubracant and squeezes through the bars.*

Freedom...somehow it smells like poo.

Considering the choice of decor in this dungeon, I'd say you made an improvement.


Alright, enough is enough. I've been hired to rid this dungeon of any accountants with a boobular ocular deformity.

*Devours the pesky lil creep.


Crimson Jester wrote:
Hey what am I doing here? I didn't order this drab scenery!

Hey, boss. I could let you out of your cage, for a price, of course.


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
My Eyes Are Boobs wrote:
One angry accountant can shut a dungeon like this down for good. I canalready see you deducted about three times more than you should have off your taxes, so watch yer mouth, pillow filler.

You've been warned.

Also, you should know that laws do not apply here.
*Throws in dungeon*

When are visitors' hours? I need to talk to someone.


Cheshire Cat wrote:
When are visitors' hours? I need to talk to someone.

I'll have to ask the boss but I think we're 3-5 on weekends and 4-4:03 on weekdays.


Dire Pigeon of Mood wrote:
Cheshire Cat wrote:
When are visitors' hours? I need to talk to someone.
I'll have to ask the boss but I think we're 3-5 on weekends and 4-4:03 on weekdays.

That's enough.

There are no 'visiting hours'. This is the Pigeon Dungeon. Here, we have different laws.
One of which is that any insults will be met with death. Attacking prisoners incurs a 1 gp. fine, and killing them incurs a 5 gp. fine.
Prisoners who attempt to break out are eviscerated. Prisoners who attempt to sue are eviscerated. Prisoners who attempt to inform otehrs of any aspect of the Dungeon are eviscerated.
Any questions?


JAIL BREAK!!!!


*Bites head off Pigeon*
Tasty...we got any salt?


Very Tempermental Plant wrote:

*Bites head off Pigeon*

Tasty...we got any salt?

Prisoner escape! Prisoner escape! TO ARMS--

*Is decapitated*


*Draws tiny dagger and starts sawing at bug net*
How'd that plant get out?


I NEED MY CLEAVER!!! WHERE IS IT?!


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I NEED MY CLEAVER!!! WHERE IS IT?!

Now isn't really the time for--oh wait, did you say 'cleaver'? My bad, sorry.

*Darts out of net and grabs cleaver, which is on small shelf*
Oof...this is big!
*Throws at KC's feet*
*Attacks Pigeon guards, stinging madly*


True Strike!!!
*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!

Liberty's Edge

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

True Strike!!!

*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!

You are not Wrong about That, Kobold.


The Defectives wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

True Strike!!!

*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!
You are not Wrong about That, Kobold.

Crap.

Everyone, run for it!


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
The Defectives wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

True Strike!!!

*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!
You are not Wrong about That, Kobold.

Crap.

Everyone, run for it!

Crap! I heard about those guys!

YAAA!!! *Flies toward stairs*

Liberty's Edge

Thieving Wasp wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
The Defectives wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

True Strike!!!

*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!
You are not Wrong about That, Kobold.

Crap.

Everyone, run for it!

Crap! I heard about those guys!

YAAA!!! *Flies toward stairs*

We have found Work with the Pigeons. They trust Us Alone to Guard the stairs.

*Dives at wasp*


The Defectives wrote:
Thieving Wasp wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
The Defectives wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

True Strike!!!

*Beheads guard captain*
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! MORE ARE COMING!!!
You are not Wrong about That, Kobold.

Crap.

Everyone, run for it!

Crap! I heard about those guys!

YAAA!!! *Flies toward stairs*

We have found Work with the Pigeons. They trust Us Alone to Guard the stairs.

*Dives at wasp*

Gah! *Stings Defective*


*Cleaver starts glowing with electricity*
Alright...it's on.
*Cleaves first line of Defectives*

Liberty's Edge

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

*Cleaver starts glowing with electricity*

Alright...it's on.
*Cleaves first line of Defectives*

*Growls*

CHarge!


I diswike Defwectives.


*Grabs some popcorn and watches the pigeons poop all over the place. Under an umbrella of course*

Liberty's Edge

*Hisses and collapses*
'Diswike' us all you want, foul creature...it won't help you a bit!


*Bites head off Defective*


*Eats brain of Defective*
Man, that's gross!


*Waits for instructions from the boss, as his intuition has been failing miserably of late.

Liberty's Edge

Dire Pigeon of Mood wrote:
*Waits for instructions from the boss, as his intuition has been failing miserably of late.

We think You should Attack, Pigeon.


Dire Pigeon of Mood wrote:
*Waits for instructions from the boss, as his intuition has been failing miserably of late.

*Grabs Pigeon Repellent and charges*


HA! That's for the Lemmings!
*Cleaves four more Defectives*


*Attacks DPoM, attempting to decapitate*

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