On the Atomic Array podcast, The Jade and Ed Healy suggested a piece entitled '101 Uses for a Shoehorn in a High Fantasy Setting.' In a thread in the Beta forums, The Jade contributed:
1. Pixie toboggan.
2. Sharpened steel shoehorn used as a cobbler/assassin's favorite inconspicuous weapon. When you sit to try on shoes he slits your achilles.
To which kessukoofah added:
3. Makeshift campground spoon
4. pocket shovel for digging out of prisons (see spoon).
5. material componant for the spells "Adjust fit" and "Ghostwalk" (The first resizing existing clothes and the second creating spectral shoes thatn give a modifyer to stealth)
To avoid bogging down the beta forums, I've moved this here. Enjoy!
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Ed Healy??? What the fudgepickles???? nono. The 3-5 ones there were all me, And I listed them here, not in the broadcast.
Thanks for clearing that up. Now to get brainstorming.
Sorry, Kess. I should have been more clear.
The theme for list was courtesy of The Jade and Ed Healy on the podcast. The first two entries on the list were by The Jade, and you contributed the other three. Let me see if I can edit the first post and make it better.
Edit: Should be better now.
6. As a shoehorn. Geeze. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
7. As a mirror to peek at the medusa.
13. Reflective surface with which to blind opponents from a distance
14. Strapless eyepatch (ew)
15. Dragon scale replacement
16. Bludgeoning leprechauns to death
17. Tower shield for some kinda really small creature, I dunno probably a fey of some kind...
18. Halfling codpiece.
20. Tongue depressor for a Golarion goblin
21. Evacuation slide for Ear Seeker airlines (for the /grognards)
I want a shoehorn, the kind with teeth.
33. Combination Dire Oyster Shucker & Spoon
Great (inspired) stuff! We are 1/3 of the way to *victory!
*Definition 29 of victory, that is: "The completion of an unpublishable RPG brainstorm." ;)
34. As a scoop to remove coins from chests, for cautious rogues. (Beware goldbugs!)
38. Get a black rune-carved one and it will drink your SOLE!
<stop throwing rotten tomatoes at me>
40. Improvised lean-to for really, really Reduced characters
42. Platemail barding for a small snake steed.
43. Armor eyepatch for a dude with one ultra-fugly five inch across eye.
44. Insert for an athletic supporter.
15. Dragon scale replacement
16. Bludgeoning leprechauns to death
17. Tower shield for some kinda really small creature, I dunno probably a fey of some kind...
18. Halfling codpiece.
"Whuch you s...s...sayin? My d...d...willie is s...s...small?"
Ummm, you could use two of them as a speculum.
Ummm, you could use two of them as a speculum.
That's #30. Great minds, and all that...
...darn missed it...
I guess I'm not the only one who has PCs that want to do pap exams in a dungeon.
49. Ogre earwax cleaner/nosepicker.
51. Heraldic Standard of the High King of the Shoe-elves.
Like cards in a bizarre deck, here are our 52 examplesthus far (minor editing added free of charge):
1. Pixie toboggan.
2. Sharpened steel shoehorn used as a cobbler/assassin's favorite inconspicuous weapon. When you sit to try on shoes, he slits your Achilles.
3. Makeshift campground spoon.
4. Pocket shovel for digging out of prisons (see spoon).
5. Material component for the spells Adjust Fit and Ghostwalk. (The first resizing existing clothes and the second creating spectral shoes that give a modifier to stealth)
6. As a shoehorn. Geez, why does everything have to be so complicated?
7. A mirror with which to peek at the medusa.
8. Small lever for prying open boxes, doors, etc.
9. Shoe-ninja’s main weapon.
10. A pretext to take the feet of beautiful girls.
11. A distraction. (Throw shoehorn, and when the guard looks in the direction of the noise walk silently behind him).
12. Dragonmilk butter knife.
13. Reflective surface with which to blind opponents from a distance.
14. Strapless eye patch. (ew)
15. Dragon scale replacement.
16. Leprechaun bludgeoner.
17. Tower shield for a tiny fey.
18. Halfling codpiece.
19. Put enough of them together, cheap scale mail.
20. Tongue depressor for a Golarion goblin.
21. Evacuation slide for Ear Seeker airlines. (For the /grognards)
22. When having rust monsters over for drinks, steel shoehorns make for ideal wafer-thin hors' dourves.
23. A plectrum for an ogre guitar.
24. Spell component for Bigby's Buttkick of Death.
25. Necessary for Profession (shoemaker)...or is that Craft (shoemaking)?
26. New magic item: Shoe of Horne - useful for removing cursed footwear, can cast freedom of movement 1/day.
27. Use two for emergency castanets for a bard with Perform (percussion).
28. Hobgoblin guards guarding a cave can bang their gong with it.
29. A brain scoop for Illithilds.
30. A speculum (if you have two).
31. Helmet decorations for a very strange barbarian (or samurai).
32. A torture device of the worst kind...
33. Combination Dire Oyster Shucker & Spoon.
34. As a scoop to remove coins from chests, for cautious rogues (Beware goldbugs!).
35. Sacred altar for sentient shoes.
36. Item made by sentient shoes for use instead of a tongue.
37. Old relationship extrication device, used to knock one’s future ex down or as a crowbar to push them away :D
38. A black rune-carved shoehorn that drinks your SOLE!
39. A tool for intelligent magical shoes with bard classes for use with their Perform (horn) skill.
40. Improvised lean-to for really, really Reduced characters.
41. A device to fling rotten tomatoes at people who make really bad puns. *fling, fling*
42. Plate mail barding for a small snake steed.
43. Armor eye patch for a dude with one ultra-fugly five inch across eye.
44. Insert for an athletic supporter.
45. Glued to the bottom of a stick, it's a prosthetic foot for a pirate.
46. You could clap two of them to simulate the sound of a trotting horse (when halved coconuts are nowhere to be found).
47. A replacement nose-flap, for a certain half-orc brothel owner.
48. Scrying/divination target. (Nobody expects or remembers the masterwork ivory shoehorn casually looted from a wizard's henchman and left lying around as a trophy not valuable enough to sell, until it is usually far too late.).
49. Ogre earwax cleaner/nosepicker.
50. As a focus for plane shift, allowing you to travel to the realm of Rhee'Bok, Demon Lord of Footwear.
51. Heraldic Standard of the High King of the Shoe-elves.
52. Mallet for the Whack-A-Kobold game.