Let's Straighten This Out...


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Are we still doing this? Lets go get some chicks!

*Opens a Bud with the mouth+


Alright! I call an intermission. All other cults, come back in an hour or so.Pass me a beer, kid.


Here you go! Have some chips too!

*starts drinking a frosty cold Saporo*

Scarab Sages

Well, there's also the undead, but we aren't so much a cult as a plague on the living.


The glaring absence of any reference to Doctor Who makes me fear that I am (on this board) a cult of one (the loneliest number)...


Sebastian is only a pawn of the Runelord of Social Injustice. That's right. The great and terrible Sebastian works for a flunkey whom we [The Runelords] allow to hang around in our cool Thassilonian secret lair. (It wouldn't be so cool if Wizards of the Coast hadn't recently sneaked in an agent, disguised as a milkman, and 'borrowed' our red dragon heating engineer for some purpose of their own, whilst we were out putting the drow in their places; our lair is usually quite warm.)
However we shall permit your cults to continue in operation for as long as they entertain us.
Now if you'll excuse me, but I have some work to do on the revision of The Grand Subjugation License....

Liberty's Edge

I am the most loyal follower and founder of the Cult of Jack. I will smite all unbelievers with my +5 lawyer bane double bladed sword of pony and poodle slaying.

The Exchange

I am the dread overlord Jack's personal enforcer. Please leave you adresses and you will all be dealt with in turn.

Scarab Sages

Mmmmm.....brains.


yall need pamphlets on starting your own cult


I am flattered and outraged at the lack of recognition of my cult.


you have a cult? what does it do?

Scarab Sages

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
I am flattered and outraged at the lack of recognition of my cult.

Who are you again?


seekerofshadowlight wrote:
you have a cult? what does it do?

What don't we do?

  • Stockpile treasure to use for nefarious purposes.
  • Hire low-level NPCs to guard our temples.
  • Put crazy people in charge of divisive schisms.
  • Use neat and tidy memorandums to communicate in house.
  • Have no clearly defined leadership aside from myself.
  • Recruit just about anyone wearing a colored robe.
  • Refuse to relocate.
  • Advertise.

    Our plan has no chance of backfiring.


  • Aberzombie wrote:
    Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
    I am flattered and outraged at the lack of recognition of my cult.
    Who are you again?

    If you don't know already, then you don't get to know.


    15. Zombies
    16. Elder's Elemental Eye Cult


    Joey Lafyatis wrote:

    15. Zombies

    16. Elder's Elemental Eye Cult

    We prefer "Cult of the Elder Elemental Eye".


    Sooooo sorry..

    16. Cult of the Elder Elemental Eye


    Mothmona wrote:
    Sebastian wrote:
    The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards.
    Oh really?

    Ha!

    The Exchange

    Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
    Joey Lafyatis wrote:

    15. Zombies

    16. Elder's Elemental Eye Cult
    We prefer "Cult of the Elder Elemental Eye".

    We certainly do!


    Is that all cults represented? Speak now or forever hold your peace!


    Joey Lafyatis wrote:
    Is that all cults represented? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

    The Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord would like to secede from the Poodle Cult and be considered. There have been some schisms in our interpretation of the Great Poodle's doctrine.

    Also:

    Spoiler:

    Also, we are currently recruiting new members. If you would like to be our b~&**, please let us know.


    17. Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord


    Yeah! You can never have enough B%$&%$%&


    Llamafrog wrote:
    Yeah! You can never have enough B%$&%$%&

    Agreed.


    Cults and Amount of Delegates in the next Election:

    1. Poodles - 20
    2. Sm*rfs - 30
    3. Frogs -3
    4. Thieves Guild -7
    5. Cult of Sebastian - 40
    6. Angry Jack Cult - 40
    7. Customer Service wannabes - 5
    8. Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters - 2
    9. Mona - 10
    10. Logical Cult -10
    11. New Dretch - 1
    12. Church and Munch™ -15
    13. Set -10
    14. Moff Rimmer's Destructive Cult of Personality -8
    15. Zombies -30
    16. Cult of the Elder Elemental Eye - 13
    17. Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord - 10

    Now we need candidates. Three or Four extremely influential people on Paizo. Then each cult gives it delegates to who they vote for.

    The Exchange

    Joey Lafyatis wrote:

    Cults and Amount of Delegates in the next Election:

    1. Poodles - 20
    2. Sm*rfs - 30
    3. Frogs -3
    4. Thieves Guild -7
    5. Cult of Sebastian - 40
    6. Angry Jack Cult - 40
    7. Customer Service wannabes - 5
    8. Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters - 2
    9. Mona - 10
    10. Logical Cult -10
    11. New Dretch - 1
    12. Church and Munch™ -15
    13. Set -10
    14. Moff Rimmer's Destructive Cult of Personality -8
    15. Zombies -30
    16. Cult of the Elder Elemental Eye - 13
    17. Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord - 10

    Now we need candidates. Three or Four extremely influential people on Paizo. Then each cult gives it delegates to who they vote for.

    Forgot the Gninjas.


    Pish!

    Scarab Sages

    Logic_Elmer wrote:

    Be vewwy vewwy quiet .... I'm hunting Obewoni Fawwacies ..

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    That's just funny.

    Scarab Sages

    Cpt_kirstov wrote:
    The cult of "Hey I want to be a customer service person too!"

    I guess this is my official cult.


    ***HISS***

    Do I belong to the undead or customer service cult?


    Go with what you feel!


    **HISS**

    Actually I could go for some Dretch ...MMMM Dretch <Homer Drool>


    Hey! Leave us alone! We count too! Not really (1 vote)


    Sheesh ..I kill you you'll just reform back at the Abyss anyway, and I could use a little demon blood .... MMMMMMM <Homer Drool>

    Scarab Sages

    Thread vampire wrote:

    ***HISS***

    Do I belong to the undead or customer service cult?

    I believe you, the slaad, the monster, and the bug all get your own cult.


    When did our cults become democratic?


    Now

    Scarab Sages

    Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
    When did our cults become democratic?

    It's a cult by cult basis.

    Some are democratic.

    Some are demoncratic.


    And some are Hemocratic

    Licks fangs and eyes the Dretch hungrily


    If you try to eat me, I will be forced to get the authorities on you!

    Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    Sebastian's got his Pony back!!!
    Did Little Bo Peep help you look for it? Is that why it took you so long to find it?

    Yay for Bella Sebastian (as opposed to normal Sebastian)! ;)


    Joey Lafyatis wrote:
    If you try to eat me, I will be forced to get the authorities on you!

    Lunch? Where?

    *ribbit*


    **HISS**

    Over here Slaadi! A juicy Dretch! I'll go halvsies .. I just want the blood you can have the meat.

    The Exchange

    Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
    When did our cults become democratic?

    I don't know boss.


    Thread vampire wrote:

    **HISS**

    Over here Slaadi! A juicy Dretch! I'll go halvsies .. I just want the blood you can have the meat.

    Deal! I think he'll go with a nice red wine.

    Dark Archive

    Darren Al-Tei wrote:
    The Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord would like to secede from the Poodle Cult and be considered. There have been some schisms in our interpretation of the Great Poodle's doctrine.

    Is that Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord, Reformed, or Eastern Branch of the Poodle Overlord, Council of 1812?

    'Cause we don't truck with those Reformist heretics around here, nosirree.


    I have been asked to place my Illustrious (and rather large) hat into the ring, so I am doing so now.

    Edit: as in The Election

    Dark Archive

    The Crimson Jester, Rouge Lord wrote:
    I have been asked to place my Illustrious (and rather large) hat into the ring, so I am doing so now.

    /steals his hat and runs off.


    *shrugs, opens up Set's wallet and removes the cash and credit cards*

    *puts another hat on*

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