Crimson Crime


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The Masked Rogue wrote:

*Runs at kitten vikings, axe lifted over his head*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXEEEEEEEE!!!!

THERE IT IS!!! GIVE IT TO US, OR ALL YOUR TREASURE SHALL BE DESTROYED!!!


I'M GIVING YOU THE AXE!!!

*Begins fading out*

OH NO, I'M IN TWO THREADS AT THE SAME TIME! THE JACK THREAD IS WINNING! I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES, when they launch me from their catapult...

*Fades out of thread*


*Gently glides to ground holding umbrella*

Well, I'm back. The Jacks launched me from their volleyball net. So, here's your axe and I'vebrokenmylegs

*Collapses on ground*


The Masked Rogue wrote:

*Gently glides to ground holding umbrella*

Well, I'm back. The Jacks launched me from their volleyball net. So, here's your axe and I'vebrokenmylegs

*Collapses on ground*

*Grabs axe*

Good, now we can finally get outta here!!!


Huh? What's going on here?


*Kittens fly off*

The Exchange

Oh, nothing they were missing their AXE. So we gave them an Ax. Not sure what their beef was. Oh yeah and we are setting up a very large Magnet to catch random Jacks who wander through the place.


Crimson Jester wrote:
Oh, nothing they were missing their AXE. So we gave them an Ax.

You appear to be having trouble reading. We were given an AXE. When we asked for an AXE.

Seriously, how stupid can a thief get?


Enters the clubhouse carrying a box. Muffled sounds emerge from it

Greeting fellow rogues! I have returned after an extended tour of Hoborixen and Quarmaal! I hope you all have been well?

Places the box on a handy table and strips the cardboard away revealing a birdcage containing a coughing frog

I bring a wonder with me as a new mascot for our clubhouse! A talking frog!


The small frog looks out of the cage

*cough*

Hey dat ain't fair! Your sign said free cough medicine!

*cough*


Margarinefrog wrote:

The small frog looks out of the cage

*cough*

Hey dat ain't fair! Your sign said free cough medicine!

*cough*

Hmm. I do not approve. Frog, I will not attack the thieves--others will do so, soon enough--but I can cure your cough. Cure Minor Ailment!

Now, I'm off to tell the Jacks that the thieves kidnapped one of their friends.


WHY is ever'body always hurtin my froggies?
Big Tex bursts into the hideout, having trailed the thieves from the pond. Both six guns are out and blazing before the thieves know what is upon them. He fires his way across the lair over to the frog's cage.
I'm bustin you outta here, little froggie!

The Exchange

Bird cage flies up to large magnet installed on the ceiling ~

Big Tex wanders in and fires off a round, It shouldn't take him too long to realize his guns are firing strait up and that he hit nothing but a cage with a frog inside.


Big Tex may be dim, but he uses old fashioned, lead bullets, which fly at the thieves with deadly accuracy.
I'ma gonna fill ya all full a lead ifn you don't let that froggie go pronto!


*JRHM and PJ arrive* *notices Big Tex* Ok, hand over the frog thieves!


Oh, we got a crazed gunman shooting up the place again? Just let the frog go already! It's too early for gunfights.


Take out his cane and brandishes it.
You there! Rogue operating the magnet! Turn it off or I shall give you such a thrashing as you've never had! Queensbury rules be damned!


Panama Jack wrote:

Take out his cane and brandishes it.

You there! Rogue operating the magnet! Turn it off or I shall give you such a thrashing as you've never had! Queensbury rules be damned!

Don't worry PJ. I'm made up of a special ceramic composite. See Here I've nothing to fear.


What in the name of Mog's four divine limbs is this fracas?

Unsheathes Cats Claw and dives for a defensible spot


A voice rings out from above

*cough*

Yay! De cavalry is here! You be sorry now meanies!

*cough*


The Grey Mouser wrote:

What in the name of Mog's four divine limbs is this fracas?

Unsheathes Cats Claw and dives for a defensible spot

We want the frog now, Mouser. Surrender now and we'll walk out peacefully.


How bout we make this real simple...I got three questions for ya: Which a you thieves wants to die today with a belly fully a lead? Pulls hammer bag on right gun. Who wants to go first? Pulls hammer back on left gun. And how many thieves do I have to kill before somebody decides to turn off that magnet and run like hell?

Thieves with any spot check ability at all notice a medal that says Texas State Fair Marksmen Champion and has a column of small dates hanging in a column from it that start at "1970" and end at "2008".


The Mouser, sensing that luck and numbers are not on his side, smiles and bows

Indeed I did not realize that this erudite amphibian had so many burly friends. Please, take him with my compliments. CJ, if you would?

Gestures to Crimson Jester.

No one read the spoiler below:

Spoiler:
Anyone reading this has had their pockets picked and didn't notice until much later :P


You thieves move real slow and nice like...and keep your hands where I can see 'em. Anybody reaching for a weapon or a spoiler is gonna be payin a visit to hell quickern you can say corny dog.


The Grey Mouser wrote:

The Mouser, sensing that luck and numbers are not on his side, smiles and bows

Indeed I did not realize that this erudite amphibian had so many burly friends. Please, take him with my compliments. CJ, if you would?

Gestures to Crimson Jester.

No one read the spoiler below:

** spoiler omitted **

Smart boy! Big Tex, I'll grab the cage. Keep me covered. *Grabs cage and gets out of the guild* *runs back to pond*


*Follows JRHM*


Back out of thread with guns aimed at the thieves. When he gets just outside the door, he fires off his guns, knocking out the lights, then turns and runs.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!


The Mouser shrugs

All that for a frog. Ah well, at least their visit wasn't wasted.

Don't read this one neither:

Spoiler:
Sits at the table and pores through the loot he lifted from the folks what looked at the first spoiler (and you know darned well who you are) :P

The Exchange

grr Lead bullets.

Oh well at least we git something out if it.


The Grey Mouser wrote:

The Mouser shrugs

All that for a frog. Ah well, at least their visit wasn't wasted.

Don't read this one neither:

** spoiler omitted **

Grr....

Also, my Cleaver is enchanted to always stay in my hands.
*Smacks Mouser upside the head*
*Picks up money*
Alright, it looks like the Jacks got my message to free the frog, so I can go now.


Dodges the small scaly one's blow with cat-like reflexes

Now now, no sour grapes. You got your frog back.

The Exchange

A prudent thief should never drink so much that he becomes bold.
Because a thief who boasts and brags will rarely live to grow old.
For silence is a thief's best bet and if he breaks this etiquette.
Undoubtedly what he will get...will be more trouble than gold.

Consider Zhele a thief from Greel, who drank at the Swan and Grouse.
He made himself quite popular by buying rounds for the house.
One night in drunken revelry, he made a bet with prideful glee,
But later on he would agree...he never should've been soused.

A thief's best friends are luck and speed, alertness, cunning and stealth.
And ale can cause these all to flee and cheat a thief of his wealth.
But add to this a drunken dare to steal a lock of the Empress' hair,
Then even a fool should be aware...this may be bad for your health.

So Zhele did stumble through the door in his most fearless state.
He slipped in shadows past the guard and snuck through the palace gate.
Then giggling he scaled the wall so drunk he thought he could not fall.
For wasn't he the best of all...and surely favored by Fate.

As he climbed in he saw a girl who was dressed in cloth not fur.
A palace maid? Perhaps a cook? T'was difficult to be sure.
A homely lass she did appear, but anyone looks good through beer,
So when she asked, "Why are you here?"...he said he was there for her.

He showered her with compliments for flattery was his skill.
And so they spent a pleasant time as any young couple will.
But as the dawn lit their embrace, he recognized the lady's face
From every golden coin it graced...and suddenly he felt ill.

He'd heard that drink was dangerous and now he knew for a fact.
For theives caught in the palace were hanged or stretched upon a rack.
But as this thief was kind and bold, the empress gifted him with gold.
(Then the guard made sure that he'd been told...he'd be killed if he ever came back.)

And so he was a thief no more for that was part of the deal.
His bet was lost because she gave him what he went there to steal.
So other thieves may scorn and mock his name and tale but still they flock
For a drink and a look at the Empresses Lock... the finest tavern in Greel.


Claps his hands togeter

A marvelous exposition CJ. I am reminded of a rhyme one of my admirers once circulated throughout Lankhmar City about me:

The city lifts black roof-shields to the stars
And shuts the jungle out with mortised stones
And seals the scents of flowers in glass jars
And locks Earth's secrets up in brass-clapsed tomes
No satyr may live there, no faun survive
The stench and clangor of each crowded street.
The white-fanged beasts cannot contrive
To gnaw an entrance through its black concrete.

Yet 'mongst the gargoyles on the slated roofs
One grey-masked face peers down with living grin
That mocks the scurry of the city's floor
Two grey-gloved hands tease ope' the library's door
And break the ponderous books and scribble in
Footnotes that give lie to all the proud proofs.

I always liked that one.

Hands CJ a brimming bag of gold

Here's the cut from earlier.


Pops in and sniffs the air Ah the essence of thievery

Holds out a bottle, chants corks bottle ...leaves tribbles and leaves

The Exchange

"I sense a disturbance in the Boards, a presence I have not felt since..."


ahh crap there is no good place to hide here.


*Flies in*
It is as I feared. The crystals are protection. Be wary, everyone.


Of course they are Protection!!

there is no safe place to hide!!


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:

Of course they are Protection!!

there is no safe place to hide!!

I have added my spells. It is as strong as I can make it. We may need help, though. Whatever is coming is terrible.

The Exchange

Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:

Of course they are Protection!!

there is no safe place to hide!!

I have added my spells. It is as strong as I can make it. We may need help, though. Whatever is coming is terrible.

It's horrible

It's Unthinkable

It's Unstoppable


Crimson Jester wrote:
Jarl of the Kitten Vikings wrote:
The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:

Of course they are Protection!!

there is no safe place to hide!!

I have added my spells. It is as strong as I can make it. We may need help, though. Whatever is coming is terrible.

It's horrible

It's Unthinkable

It's Unstoppable

Nonsense. The Borg said much the same, but were mostly turned back. We can take it.

If only I were at full power, I could help...


Quick what do I need to do??


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
Quick what do I need to do??

What do you mean?

Wait, there's no crystals here. Are you out of them??

The Exchange

Of course there is a crystal here.
~holds out last crystal
Now how can we restore you?


Crimson Jester wrote:

Of course there is a crystal here.

~holds out last crystal
Now how can we restore you?

I need some energy. I will always be disembodied, but I can still use magic with some help. If I get some energy, I can sever the Tribble Lord's link to my phylactery and then I can use my magic. I need to you transfer something, anything. A minor magic item?


Here use my spare dagger of treasure finding.


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
Here use my spare dagger of treasure finding.

*Sucks energy from it*

Now THAT'S more like it!
*Ends spell*
Finally! I can use my own magic now!
Okay, I can do this. This will NOT be easy, and I don't have much power left so I can't do much, but....
Boost, Mass!
*All crystals, in all thread, glow with arcane energy. Their power is doubled*
Uhh....that took a lot more out of me than I expected. It's all I can do. It should shield us all considerably. Brace yourselves, guys....


crystal glows bright blue in Jesters hand


drops the blue crystal....

"Ow it burns, that means its here!"


Hey the glow went away...what happened?

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