The Angry Jack Cult


Off-Topic Discussions

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Jack Hammer wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:

Pins note to Frat's door:

Best of luck on the new job, Frat. - P.J.

Ugh...very groggy this morning...Reggie, black coffee please. I missed Frat Jack, but left a note on his door wishing him the luck. Are all those blasted intruders gone? They ruined my night's sleep.

So far so good. Now we can get back to launching thieves, oppressing peasants, raiding, drinking, and carousing. Ahh, the life.

Ain't that the truth. Life doesn't get any better than this.


Where's the Queen of Carouse? The Princess of Popularity? The Mistress of Mayhem?


*knoch, knock. No answer*

Leaves box addressed to lynora-Jill from the Acme Specialty Labs on her doorstep.

Goes outside and launches himself in the Jack-apult into another thread.


Jack Hammer wrote:

*knoch, knock. No answer*

Leaves box addressed to lynora-Jill from the Acme Specialty Labs on her doorstep.

Goes outside and launches himself in the Jack-apult into another thread.

*finishes her morning prayers, opens door*

Oooh, a package. I wonder what's in it.
*rips open the box*


lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

*knoch, knock. No answer*

Leaves box addressed to lynora-Jill from the Acme Specialty Labs on her doorstep.

Goes outside and launches himself in the Jack-apult into another thread.

*finishes her morning prayers, opens door*

Oooh, a package. I wonder what's in it.
*rips open the box*

Inside the box is an adamantium chainmail bikini with matching wrap, and a note.

Fashionable yet functional. Keep yourself safe from sneak attacks and tribbles, and still be ready for a day at the beach.

The Acme Specialty Lab is committed to providing the highest quality products to its customers.


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

*knoch, knock. No answer*

Leaves box addressed to lynora-Jill from the Acme Specialty Labs on her doorstep.

Goes outside and launches himself in the Jack-apult into another thread.

*finishes her morning prayers, opens door*

Oooh, a package. I wonder what's in it.
*rips open the box*

Inside the box is an adamantium chainmail bikini with matching wrap, and a note.

Fashionable yet functional. Keep yourself safe from sneak attacks and tribbles, and still be ready for a day at the beach.

The Acme Specialty Lab is committed to providing the highest quality products to its customers.

Squee! This is so perfect!

*takes it back into her room and changes into the new bikini before heading outside.*


Looking up from the engine of the new SuperJack Airboat Jack Hammer lets out a long whistle as the Priestess of Pretty emerges from the Clubhouse

Someone's looking especially shiny today!


Jack Hammer wrote:

Looking up from the engine of the new SuperJack Airboat Jack Hammer lets out a long whistle as the Priestess of Pretty emerges from the Clubhouse

Someone's looking especially shiny today!

Why thank you. *twirls around to show off the new chainmail bikini* I found a package on my doorstep this morning, and this was in it. It's absolutely perfect.


Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?


Panama Jack wrote:
Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?

I tried to follow your link and was told I was forbidden to look at it on this server. And there was a 404 Not Found in addition. I about busted up laughing. It's like being scolded by the GPS. It's scolding me for even trying to look at it. And then adds that it couldn't find it anyways, even if it wanted to. Technology is funny sometimes.


Panama Jack wrote:
Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?

Swampjack has a ring to it

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Frat Jack wrote:

Fellow Jack and Ladies, I'm starting on a new job on probation, so I'll be away for a at least a week and posting mostly by night, try to party as had as always, be nice to the ladies and sabe me a cold one for me when I come in the night!

Cheers!

Huzzah, good luck!


Sorry, LJ. I've no explanation. Slap your service provider?

Scarab Sages

Everybody's happy when Hungry Jack® meals are on the table.


ayup.
Whoops, wrong thread. Guess I just wanted to show off my NEW AVVY!!!! ;)


Walkin by the Jack estate on the way to the pond, Tex sees a skull floating in the air. He gets out his banjo and enthusiastically croons,
Oh, Kobold Cleaver's dead and gone
Left me here ta sing this song
Kobold Cleaver's dead and gone...
Left me here ta sing this song!

Scarab Sages

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

ayup.

Whoops, wrong thread. Guess I just wanted to show off my NEW AVVY!!!! ;)

Isn't that a dragon skull? And aren't you supposed to be a yappy little kobold? That's kind of like insulting to the dragon.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:

ayup.

Whoops, wrong thread. Guess I just wanted to show off my NEW AVVY!!!! ;)

I don't know. The last one looks better. Maybe it's just because I'm used to the older one. There should be a new rule. Any "Lord of the Board" can't change avatars. :)


Panama Jack wrote:
Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?

Will it have Life JACKets? I tend to sink in deep water.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:
Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?
Swampjack has a ring to it

Or, The Jack's Floating Barge of Death and Merriment? Otherwise I'm open. We'll need a crewmember named Salty Jack.


Hi! Is this comforting?
I think it's good for KC to be a skull. It looks draconic, of course, but you just need to see it in itty bitty scale.
Cause that's kobolds for ya.
Do you have a turkey leg for me to eat?


Aberzombie wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

ayup.

Whoops, wrong thread. Guess I just wanted to show off my NEW AVVY!!!! ;)
Isn't that a dragon skull? And aren't you supposed to be a yappy little kobold? That's kind of like insulting to the dragon.

It's a kobold skull, actually. It's the best avvy I could find.


Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:
Here's an airboat that's big enough to have a bar on deck, although obviously the SuperJack (AirJack? SwampJack? Maybe the name needs work) would have a bigger engine and perhaps more then one prop, or just a much bigger single prop. I initially and incorrectly referred to it as a hovercraft because I didn't know the name for it. Should the Jacks have a poll to name their new water transport?
Swampjack has a ring to it
Or, The Jack's Floating Barge of Death and Merriment? Otherwise I'm open. We'll need a crewmember named Salty Jack.

The Lug Boat, not 'bolt'

The Luuug Boat, soon will be making another run.
The Lug Boat, has a very large Acme deck gun.

Music and fashion? We're more into smashin'


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

ayup.

Whoops, wrong thread. Guess I just wanted to show off my NEW AVVY!!!! ;)
Isn't that a dragon skull? And aren't you supposed to be a yappy little kobold? That's kind of like insulting to the dragon.
It's a kobold skull, actually. It's the best avvy I could find.

Yea man it made a killer hat. Once I put a few feathers on it it was sweet


Lug Boat! HAW-HAW! Well done, Hammer. Now all we need is to recruit a new member to be the sailor, as was mentioned, Of course, Reggie can do it, (Reggies clears his throat int he background) but at some point, the demand may outstrip Reggie's ever-growing job description, what-what. If we had a crew of two, we could have Salty Jack and Jack Tar! How should we carry out a membership drive? March through all the threads on parade with a banner?


Panama Jack wrote:
Lug Boat! HAW-HAW! Well done, Hammer. Now all we need is to recruit a new member to be the sailor, as was mentioned, Of course, Reggie can do it, (Reggies clears his throat int he background) but at some point, the demand may outstrip Reggie's ever-growing job description, what-what. If we had a crew of two, we could have Salty Jack and Jack Tar! How should we carry out a membership drive? March through all the threads on parade with a banner?

That could work. I can carry the banner. You should probably have someone bring along some drinks as well. So you can show them the benefits of membership.


Panama Jack wrote:
Lug Boat! HAW-HAW! Well done, Hammer. Now all we need is to recruit a new member to be the sailor, as was mentioned, Of course, Reggie can do it, (Reggies clears his throat int he background) but at some point, the demand may outstrip Reggie's ever-growing job description, what-what. If we had a crew of two, we could have Salty Jack and Jack Tar! How should we carry out a membership drive? March through all the threads on parade with a banner?

I here you have a ship in need of a captain. Well here I am. Now, where's me crew?


The only thing dogs love more than trucks is boats!


Captain Jack wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:
Lug Boat! HAW-HAW! Well done, Hammer. Now all we need is to recruit a new member to be the sailor, as was mentioned, Of course, Reggie can do it, (Reggies clears his throat int he background) but at some point, the demand may outstrip Reggie's ever-growing job description, what-what. If we had a crew of two, we could have Salty Jack and Jack Tar! How should we carry out a membership drive? March through all the threads on parade with a banner?
I here you have a ship in need of a captain. Well here I am. Now, where's me crew?

I'm more of the along-for-the-ride type. Especially if there's sunbathing. Speaking of which, do you think I could please have some tanning oil Panama Jack?


Of course lass. PJ, some of your special lotion please.


Welcome, Capt Jack. You need a couple of British Tars, the most able-bodied and highly rated sailors in the world, to fill our your crew!
Why, there's more Jacks in Her Britannia Majesty's navy than she can use, what-what! Even their flag is a Jack!

Dark Archive

*Licks Panama Jack*


Well, you won't get me out on that boat. I'll just stay here and guard the clubhouse.


Gives Labradoodle a Hungry Jack™ dog biscuit and a pat on the head.
I say, ol boy, you look a little worse for the wear...where have you been playing?

Dark Archive

Jack N. Ape got a hold of me.


Quit monkeying around.


Labradoodle wrote:
Jack N. Ape got a hold of me.

*casts summon soapy water*

*casts cure light*

That should get help. If there's anything else I can do, just ask.


lynora-Jill wrote:
That should get help. If there's anything else I can do, just ask.

Needs more tribbles.


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
That should get help. If there's anything else I can do, just ask.
Needs more tribbles.

You'll need to ask the demon lord of tribbles for those. Have you tried the frog pond? Or the sunny cult? He likes to find people to pester.


CourtFool wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
That should get help. If there's anything else I can do, just ask.
Needs more tribbles.

Isn't it a bit late for lunch?


Carl The Annoying Intern wrote:
Well, you won't get me out on that boat. I'll just stay here and guard the clubhouse.

Cool. Jackin'Ape needs someone to play with now that the poodles dun run off.


A dollop of drool lands on Carl's head. When he turns up to check the weather, he is stricken by the hot breath emanating through the shining crescent of teeth above him. For the ape can sneak when he decides to, and the dispersal of poodles has indeed left him crafty in his need for a little furry friend.


Wakes up under his usual collection of beer cans and empty mojito glasses

Unnnh.. What the heck was going on here last night? I had the trippiest dreams. No more tequila shooters after midnight for me!


Jackin' Ape wrote:
A dollop of drool lands on Carl's head. When he turns up to check the weather, he is stricken by the hot breath emanating through the shining crescent of teeth above him. For the ape can sneak when he decides to, and the dispersal of poodles has indeed left him crafty in his need for a little furry friend.

Carl bares his fangs and claws and suddenly his nature as a fiendish dire tiger becomes obvious for all to see. Don't make me hurt you, monkey.


While a fiendish dire tiger would indeed terrify most of ape kind, Carl discovers that Jackin Ape is of a size, temper, species, origin, and toughness that is not at all dissuaded. Indeed, the tiger's reaction seems to excite Ape. "The furry little kitty must want to play" doesn't not exist as language in the ape's brain, but somehow, the proposition does.
He begins peting the kitty and making crude, imitative mewing sounds. He then hoots with joy:

OOO-OOO-OOO!


Malice Jack wrote:

Wakes up under his usual collection of beer cans and empty mojito glasses

Unnnh.. What the heck was going on here last night? I had the trippiest dreams. No more tequila shooters after midnight for me!

Yeah, right. I'll believe that when I see it.


Ok more tribbles it is then....Reopens gates

There ya go.


Jackin sees this as a grand opportunity to feed his new cuddly. He scoops up the gating tribbles and starts stuffing them into kitty's mouth. Kitty must be hungry!
Hr-hr-hr!


humm here ape boy I have a gift for you. Hands ape a basket
Just say the word Onpi valous and the basket will fill with tribbles....ya know just in case ya need a snack


Puts kitty down at its feet, begins grooming Demon Tribble, popping demonic vermin into its mouth.

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