The Angry Jack Cult


Off-Topic Discussions

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Frat Jack wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

We got a mention by Gary in the thread complaining about thread length. Woo!

Gary Teter wrote:

The Angry Jack Cult: 323,438 words (September 2008)

W00t! Thou ain't lound enough, gotta fat this up!

Where is this "complain" posted?

Gary should send us beer for giving him reason to sharpen his skilz.

Liberty's Edge

Crimson Jack wrote:
Frat Jack wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

We got a mention by Gary in the thread complaining about thread length. Woo!

Gary Teter wrote:

The Angry Jack Cult: 323,438 words (September 2008)

W00t! Thou ain't lound enough, gotta fat this up!

Where is this "complain" posted?

Somethin' about how after 20 pages it's just three people debating?

[zen] What is the sound of three gamers talking? [/zen]

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

We should just start posting nonsense to up the word count! ;)

(Of course Gary would probably kill us...)


Callous Jack wrote:

We should just start posting nonsense to up the word count! ;)

(Of course Gary would probably kill us...)

I took Improved Natural Armor.

The Exchange

I wonder, whats the ramifications of smurfing the Jack club house.

The Exchange

smurf mwhahahahahaha


Call the Exterminator! Get out the Raid! We have pests!


Crimson Jester wrote:
I wonder, whats the ramifications of sm**ing the Jack club house.

Death! *squish*


Jack Hammer wrote:
Call the Exterminator! Get out the Raid! We have pests!

Just step on them. It's pretty cool the way they leave a blue and red stain!


don't forget! You can turn them into gold!


Put 'em in the blender and make Smuurthies!

It's great for cleaning the gutters.


Jack Hammer wrote:

Put 'em in the blender and make Smuurthies!

It's great for cleaning the gutters.

And for shampoo!

Scarab Sages

Hungry Jack® Products are always crowd pleasers


Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® Products are always crowd pleasers

Any recipes with sm**fs in them?

Scarab Sages

Baked Smurf Chops with Yams and Apples

Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular Syrup
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
OR or 1 small garlic clove, peeled and minced
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 cup chicken stock or broth
• 2 tablespoons Crisco® Pure Vegetable Oil
• 4 boneless loin smurf chops, 1/2 inches thick
• 3 medium yams or sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 2 Granny Smith apples, cored, quartered and cut into 1-inch slices
• Parsley for garnish (optional)

Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 375°F. Combine maple syrup, garlic, ginger, salt, pepper, cinnamon and chicken stock; mix well. Line a roasting pan with aluminum foil.
2. HEAT oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Brown smurf chops on both sides. Remove from pan. Place chops in roasting pan.
3. ADD yams and apples. Pour maple syrup mixture over ingredients in pan.
4. BAKE, uncovered, 25 minutes. Remove pan from oven. Turn chops, yams and apples gently with spatula. Return to oven.
5. BAKE an additional 10 minutes or until apples and potatoes are soft and smurf is no longer pink in center. Spoon apples and sweet potatoes onto serving platter and cover loosely. Pour remaining sauce into medium saucepan and simmer to reduce for 5 minutes. Pour over smurf chops, sweet potatoes and apples. Serve.

Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 35 min


I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.


I like smvnfs too! <Eats.>

Scarab Sages

Jack Hammer wrote:
I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.

Hungry Jack® will have to find something to do with all that goo.


Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.
Hungry Jack® will have to find something to do with all that goo.

Jack Lalanne Power Juicer? It keeps most of the pulp, so you get your RDA of fiber. {goes back to backing in 18-wheeler tanker of beer}

Scarab Sages

Mmmmm....fiber.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.
Hungry Jack® will have to find something to do with all that goo.
Jack Lalanne Power Juicer? It keeps most of the pulp, so you get your RDA of fiber. {goes back to backing in 18-wheeler tanker of beer}

About time our daily delivery of beer showed up! Woot!


I think that the blue guys are cute.

Scarab Sages

Your family is the most important thing to our family. So make tonight’s meal special – make it a Hungry Jack® night! Your family will thank you for it, and so will ours.


where am I?

The Exchange

Oh, just the first circle of Hell: You know, the one they show tourists.

Scarab Sages

Hungry Jack® loves to cook for tourists.


Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack® loves to cook the tourists.

Fixed it for ya!

Scarab Sages

MMmmm.....tourists

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Hungry Jack wrote:
MMmmm.....tourists

It's mugging time!


Sm**fs taste great with beer....then again EVERYTHING taste great with beer!


Callous Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
MMmmm.....tourists
It's mugging time!

*"mugs" a tourist*

*gives Callous Jack the tourist's spleen*


I wonder if I could get a couple of Jacks to play in the shark exhibit at the Shedd Aquarium next year.....?

Scarab Sages

Hungry Jack®! YUM!


Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!

You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.


Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:

I wonder if I could get a couple of Jacks to play in the shark exhibit at the Shedd Aquarium next year.....?

Fishing trip?! Cool.

We better start stocking up on peasants and poodles for bait.

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.

Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.


Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.

does that include ponies?


Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.

Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.
Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.

Wow, evil AND useless.


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.
Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.
Wow, evil AND useless.

It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat there own kind.

Scarab Sages

Maple Smoked Sausage Supper

Ingredients:
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 1 pound kielbasa or smoked sausage, cut diagonally into 1/2­-inch pieces
• 1 small butternut squash, peeled, cut into 1-­inch bite-size pieces
• 1 red pepper, cut into narrow strips, then into 2-inch pieces
• 2 green onions, sliced into 1/2-inch pieces
• 3/4 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular Syrup
• 4 teaspoons cornstarch
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 400°F. Coat 2 1/2-quart casserole dish with no-stick cooking spray.
2. PLACE sausage, squash, red pepper and onion in prepared dish. Whisk syrup and cornstarch until dissolved. Stir in salt and cinnamon. Pour over sausage and vegetables. Cover dish.
3. BAKE 50 to 60 minutes or until squash is fork tender.
TO MAKE ON GRILL
1. HEAT grill. Cut four 18 x 12-inch pieces of heavy-duty foil. Place pieces of sausage, squash, pepper and onion on each piece of foil, dividing evenly. Prepare syrup mixture as above. Pour over mixture in foil. Wrap securely using double-fold seals, allowing room for heat expansion.
2. PLACE on grill, seam side up, over medium heat or on charcoal grill 4 to 6 inches from medium coals. Cook 35 to 40 minutes or until squash is fork tender. Open packets carefully to allow steam to escape.

Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 50 min


Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.
Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.
Wow, evil AND useless.
It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat there own kind.

Lawyers give me gas. All that hot air.

And you don't want me to get gassy. Trust me.


I hope you have a permit to use gas.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
I hope you have a permit to use gas.

Yeah, he's a licensed natural gas fracker.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
I hope you have a permit to use gas.

It's all natural.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
Hungry Jack®! YUM!
You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.
Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.
Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.
Wow, evil AND useless.
It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat there own kind.

Lawyers give me gas. All that hot air.

And you don't want me to get gassy. Trust me.

So... you ate pony?


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat their own kind.

Lawyers give me gas. All that hot air.

And you don't want me to get gassy. Trust me.

So... you ate pony?

I thought only Frenchies ate horses? {eyes JH suspiciously}

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:
It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat their own kind.

Lawyers give me gas. All that hot air.

And you don't want me to get gassy. Trust me.

So... you ate pony?
I thought only Frenchies ate horses? {eyes JH suspiciously}

Jacque Martel perhaps?


Farts are natural.

Nature is beautiful.

Therefore, farts are beautiful!


Jack Hammer wrote:

Farts are natural.

Nature is beautiful.

Therefore, farts are beautiful!

amen to that

*waves hand behind rear end*

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