The Angry Jack Cult


Off-Topic Discussions

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Callous Jack wrote:

I think Gary might kill those posts.

And we have a winner for our new rug!

We get to keep the pelt, don't we?


Callous Jack wrote:

I think Gary might kill those posts.

And we have a winner for our new rug!

I agree... I generally have a good dsposition for poodles but this one...wel...

*goes for the Poodle Skinner 3000*


*sigh*


Frat Jack wrote:
*sigh*

Drowning posts is a classic poodle defense mechanism. YAP!


[green around the gills] I just want to state for the record that scrolling through this page is painful on the eyes, and can
induce mild nausea. Bleh.... [/green around the gills]

;)


Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

[green around the gills] I just want to state for the record that scrolling through this page is painful on the eyes, and can

induce mild nausea. Bleh.... [/green around the gills]

;)

Yap!


Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:
[/green around the gills]

I can remove those... though I don't remember giving you the gills...


Slip and Slaad wrote:
Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:
[/green around the gills]
I can remove those... though I don't remember giving you the gills...

"You didn't. And they're internal. S'alright - I'm fine." ;P


{tunnels up into thread} Ugh, Greyish-Greenish is over here now?! {covers ear membranes with paws} ugh, just shut up!

Frat Jack wrote:
*sigh*

He's not really a slaad, but we don't know what he is. My theory is his parents named him "Slaad" to toughen him up, like that "Boy Named Sue" song by the Wanderer in Black.

{cannot drown out constant YAPping} I feel sorry he's bugging you Jacks, but better you than us. {goes back down hole, collapses tunnel behind him}


A distinguished looking Croc wanders into the thread.

I thought I heard her round here 'bouts.

Gi-gi? Oh Gigi! Come here, girl.


Professor Higgins wrote:

A distinguished looking Croc wanders into the thread.

I thought I heard her round here 'bouts.

Gi-gi? Oh Gigi! Come here, girl.

LOL! I know GGS won't go along with this, but I admire your ingenuity.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

I've cleaned up some major threadcrapping. Please don't do it.


Ross Byers wrote:
I've cleaned up some major threadcrapping. Please don't do it.

Yay!


Crapping? Yes, it must have been my little Gigi. But where could she have gotten off to?


After consuming 3 pounds of nachos, 4 pounds of cheese, 32 ounces of jalapenos, and 2 gallons of Dark & Stormys, JH speaks

Spoiler:
BBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPP. GOOOOOODDDD NNNNAAACCCCCHHHHHOSSSSS


Curses! My yapping was removed! I'm getting out of here!


Ross Byers wrote:
I've cleaned up some major threadcrapping. Please don't do it.

*gives Ross a beer*

Thanks m8!


Frat Jack wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
I've cleaned up some major threadcrapping. Please don't do it.

*gives Ross a beer*

Thanks m8!

*Stops to give Ross chocolate*

Yeah, sorry about that!


Greyish-Greenish Slaad wrote:

*Stops to give Ross chocolate*

Yeah, sorry about that!

Hey, you're a poodle! Chocolate is poisonous to you canines!

Run Ross, RUN! The poodle is after you!

he he he- CHAOS!


Scrappy-Doo Slaad wrote:
Greyish-Greenish Slaad wrote:

*Stops to give Ross chocolate*

Yeah, sorry about that!

Hey, you're a poodle! Chocolate is poisonous to you canines!

Run Ross, RUN! The poodle is after you!

he he he- CHAOS!

It's not that kind of chocolate. It's the kind poodles eat all the time.


Scrappy-Doo Slaad wrote:

Hey, you're a poodle! Chocolate is poisonous to you canines!

Run Ross, RUN! The poodle is after you!

he he he- CHAOS!

Jack Hammer wrote:
It's not that kind of chocolate. It's the kind poodles eat all the time.

I think that kind of "chocolate" is definitely toxic to humans. You Jacks might want to check your alcohol supplies too. GGS is pretty sneaky.

Run Ross, RUN!


Not to depart from the light-hearted mayhem of the thread too much, but I've sketched some things up about a possible origin of the Jacks. A dramatic narrative if you will. If you're in the mood for a bit of RP story...

...and on a field of blasted earth the battle between the Warforged of the Wizard Televal and the brass golems of the Earth Mage takes a unexpected turn. Seeing his creations losing ground the Mage summons spirits from beneath the ancient battlefield and creates a merging between spirits and metal. The act saved the day for the Mage, but the merging could not be undone...and it spread to the Warforged of his enemy. With their newfound sentience, both Warforged and Golem soon left their creators in search of the lives they had lost so many years ago.

Many of the Golems were members of the Ch'ack Clan, well known for their thirst for battle and for liquor. Over the decades that followed the Ch'acks forgot their previous lives, their transformations, and the clan name. They simply became Jacks.

*A quest of discovery has been started on the Ream of Dreams thread.* linky *May be considered mushy RP stuff*

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mayhem.


Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?


Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

Spoiler:
FFFRRRRRRRRRrrrrrpppppPPPPP! POP!

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.


Smells like somebody died in here.

Holds nose and looks for body.


Reminds me of this gal I knew off the Ivory Coast. She liked curry, but curry didn't like her.

Those were the days. Sailing the open seas in a merchant ship, never on land long enough to lose your sea legs. We sure crammed a lot of adventures into those few days. Then spent the next month on board sharing the stories with our 'mates.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Smells like somebody died in here.

Holds nose and looks for body.

I think it's the peasant...


Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

** spoiler omitted **

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.

Somebody's making brownies! HEHEHE!


Callous Jack wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Smells like somebody died in here.

Holds nose and looks for body.
I think it's the peasant...

{burrows up through yard} O.M.G.! I smelled that two demiplanes over!!! {looks at paint literally peeling off walls} Have you been drinking paint thinner too?

{makes Will save to resist rolling around in the smell}


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

** spoiler omitted **

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.

Somebody's making brownies! HEHEHE!

I'd stay away from any of those appetizers with the brown sauce....


Callous Jack wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Smells like somebody died in here.

Holds nose and looks for body.
I think it's the peasant...

Yeah.. The peasant....


Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Smells like somebody died in here.

Holds nose and looks for body.
I think it's the peasant...
Yeah.. The peasant....

Argh! My eyes are starting to burn! It's chemical warfare... I'm under an anti-Slaadi or anti-Poodle attack!!! {bumps blindly into a few walls before finding the soft dirt out in the yard, burrows away}


Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

** spoiler omitted **

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.

Somebody's making brownies! HEHEHE!
I'd stay away from any of those appetizers with the brown sauce....

Where are those blasted poodles when you need 'em? They'll eat those appetizers. Well...maybe not....


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

** spoiler omitted **

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.

Somebody's making brownies! HEHEHE!
I'd stay away from any of those appetizers with the brown sauce....
Where are those blasted poodles when you need 'em? They'll eat those appetizers. Well...maybe not....

If those construction blokes have installed the new garbage disposal we can get rid of them that way.

Grabs BBQ tongs and takes tray of ruined appetizers over to the Jackomatic 2000, Super Industrial Garbage and Body Disposal Unit, and dumps them in. Pressing the button, the whining of turbines fills the room and a targeting screen appears on the plasma screen behind the bar. Selecting the Celestial Thread, he presses Enter.

Does this constitute 'threadcrapping'? ;P


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Hey! Anybody here that can pull my finger?

Them nachos are kickin' up again!

Come on, guys. Please?

*Pulls JH's finger*

** spoiler omitted **

Whoopsy. Maybe I shoulda held back a little on the jalapenos.

Somebody's making brownies! HEHEHE!
I'd stay away from any of those appetizers with the brown sauce....
Where are those blasted poodles when you need 'em? They'll eat those appetizers. Well...maybe not....

*starts sniffing the appetizers* YAP!

Scarab Sages

Jack Hammer wrote:
....I've sketched some things up about a possible origin of the Jacks.

Sorry JH, but I've already got an origin.

Hungry Jack® has been feeding families like yours for nearly 70 years. From the launch of Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes in 1967 to the innovation of the reheatable microwavable Hungry Jack® Syrup bottle in 1994, Hungry Jack® has been gathering families around the table for good times, great food and that delicious Hungry Jack taste. That's why everybody’s happy when it's Hungry Jack™!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
....I've sketched some things up about a possible origin of the Jacks.

Sorry JH, but I've already got an origin.

Hungry Jack® has been feeding families like yours for nearly 70 years. From the launch of Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes in 1967 to the innovation of the reheatable microwavable Hungry Jack® Syrup bottle in 1994, Hungry Jack® has been gathering families around the table for good times, great food and that delicious Hungry Jack taste. That's why everybody’s happy when it's Hungry Jack™!

Where's my pancakes?


I'd pay good money to see a fight between the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Hungry Jack. Watch HJ knock the crap out of him here Aunt Jemima could take on the winner! The Baking Bash! The Pancake Pummel! The Lip-Smacking Smackdown!

Would the Jacks get to eat the winner or the losers? Both? I'd opt for the winner. *flashback to Benny Hill skit with lobster with one claw*

Spoiler:
*Waiter brings dinner but lobster only has one claw.*

Why does my lobster only have one claw?

He was in a fight.

Well, bring me the winner!


Inspects the sacrifical altar in front of the Callous Jack monument.

Ahh...good. They remembered to factor in the run off.


Jack Hammer wrote:

I'd pay good money to see a fight between the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Hungry Jack. Watch HJ knock the crap out of him here Aunt Jemima could take on the winner! The Baking Bash! The Pancake Pummel! The Lip-Smacking Smackdown!

Would the Jacks get to eat the winner or the losers? Both? I'd opt for the winner. *flashback to Benny Hill skit with lobster with one claw*

** spoiler omitted **

And the winner then takes on... the Statepuff Marshmellow Man!


As Hungry Jack settles back into his renovated and expanded kitchen and the general inspects the sacrificial altar, work continues apace in other parts of the estate. It appears that a heliopad may be in store for the top of one of the towers.


Hey! I'm back. Why does my acute feline sense of smell detect the odor of nacho farts? Oh well, I'm hungry. Whre's the frig?

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

*Grabs a beer and looks for lawn darts to throw, finds a kobold and decides that's good enough*


Callous Jack wrote:
*Grabs a beer and looks for lawn darts to throw, finds a kobold and decides that's good enough*

To throw, or to throw at? We still have those Lawn Jarts from when they were made of metal spikes.


Begins installing landmines on the lawn, so the kobolds will have to run the hazards as they dodge lawn darts.

I hear kobolds blow up reeeaaalll good. All purty like.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Hey, new game! Hit the landmines... with the kobolds!


Callous Jack wrote:
Hey, new game! Hit the landmines... with the kobolds!

It combines the pleasure of an afternoon of lawn darts with high explosives! How perfect can you get?!

Lets the boss take the 1st shot

"Ooh, nice one. His head set off a second one when it landed. Two points for you."


*Pulls a new kobold out of the basket, and tosses him high into the air. It lands in the minefield but doesn't set off anything. It tries to runs away but hits another mine and is blasted to gooey kobold chunks.*

Man! I missed. No points for me. *downs a shot of bourbon*


Dudes! Next week one of our fellow members will give the clubhouse a nise surprice :D Now I have to go and work on it on the weekend to have it ready or else he'll kick me as a poodle...

*grabs a case of D&S and goes into the basement*

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