The Angry Jack Cult


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Allura dives for the ball, bumping it up so that LJ could spike it right back over the net.


Jack Hammer wrote:
I don't know. He's been gone a while. Maybe it's Dire Ape mating season?

EM shrugs

Wouldn't know. Technically I'm a Bar-Igura Demon, but I've evolved a bit since the Gaping Maw days.


Allura wrote:
Allura dives for the ball, bumping it up so that LJ could spike it right back over the net.

Alaina trys to get it, and does, but the bump is too low for Serafina, who ends up faceplanting in the bone sand. She gets up, brushes herself off and tosses the ball to LJ

Your point!


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
LJ serves the ball, hard, straight towards Serafina.
Hmm...maybe we should install net cams. To help any disputes, you know.

Devlyn already did that.


Two-one, she says cheerfully.

She serves the ball and it sails high over the net....right out of bounds.

Oh, darn!


I'll get it!

Serafina runs after the ball, pert bottom twitching and covered in sand. She bends to pick the ball up, then tosses it to Alaina who serves it over


Slip and Slaad wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
LJ serves the ball, hard, straight towards Serafina.
Hmm...maybe we should install net cams. To help any disputes, you know.
Devlyn already did that.

Smart man, that Dalesman.


Serafina wrote:

I'll get it!

Serafina runs after the ball, pert bottom twitching and covered in sand. She bends to pick the ball up, then tosses it to Alaina who serves it over

Bottoms up! toasts


pulls up a chair

Ladies, why don't you go for a swim?

The fiendish dryads and nymphs giggle and strip down and go diving into the Jack's pool


Jumps up and hits the ball back across the net.


Alaina bumps to Serafina, who taps it over gently, so that it drops close to the net

With that I'm outta here. Night folks :)


Good show. Back to vacation myself. Carry on the drinking and debauchery. Like you need my permission for that. ;)


Whew! I'm tired. Time for a drink. Good game, girls. Thanks!

Scarab Sages

Hungry Jack® swears this place used to be where the Jacks would hang out. Oh well...

Begins packing up his kitchen.


I'm still here


Same here


Crap. This one's on me, isn't it...?

Would it be a proper peace offering if I started a 'Party Jack' thread for the less violent stuff like this? I definitely don't want to ruin anybody else's fun here - and you have my honest apologies if that's aleady happened.


Hey, you can't leave Hungry, I need a good greasy hangover breakfast!


Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Crap. This one's on me, isn't it...?

Would it be a proper peace offering if I started a 'Party Jack' thread for the less violent stuff like this? I definitely don't want to ruin anybody else's fun here - and you have my honest apologies if that's aleady happened.

We could go back to using the Dark and Stormy Knights thread. We really came back because we were asked to in order to increase post count. Guess we overstayed our welcome. :( Sorry.


Yeah, lets take the posting to the Dark & Stormy thread. Better off that way


lynora-Jill wrote:
We could go back to using the Dark and Stormy Knights thread. We really came back because we were asked to in order to increase post count. Guess we overstayed our welcome. :( Sorry.

I forgot about that. Guess I should've sipped the Red Bull a wee bit faster this morning :)

That would probably make more sense since this started there. I'm up for it if JH, Ambrosia, Pat and the others are game.


Malice Jack wrote:
Yeah, lets take the posting to the Dark & Stormy thread. Better off that way

Okey dokey. Porting over to the Dark & Stormy thread for the post volleyball party - (which was evidently already in effect for some of us, from what I read upthread...) :P

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Crap. This one's on me, isn't it...?

Would it be a proper peace offering if I started a 'Party Jack' thread for the less violent stuff like this? I definitely don't want to ruin anybody else's fun here - and you have my honest apologies if that's aleady happened.

???

Did someone complain?


I don't think so but...
I can see what's going on in the pool in that thread so I'm going there.
*flies off*


Callous Jack wrote:
Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Crap. This one's on me, isn't it...?

Would it be a proper peace offering if I started a 'Party Jack' thread for the less violent stuff like this? I definitely don't want to ruin anybody else's fun here - and you have my honest apologies if that's aleady happened.

???

Did someone complain?

*sigh*

Guess we need more appetizers. I was getting hungry...


Callous Jack wrote:
Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Crap. This one's on me, isn't it...?

Would it be a proper peace offering if I started a 'Party Jack' thread for the less violent stuff like this? I definitely don't want to ruin anybody else's fun here - and you have my honest apologies if that's aleady happened.

???

Did someone complain?

I was concerned about Hungry Jack's post (and he did have a valid point), so I figured I would err on the side of caution sir. We didn't want to threadjack (pardon the pun) when we already had the Dark & Stormy Knights thread set up for the more 'party'-type posts.

Besides, with the rolling party idea, we can always pop back in to visit if you'd like :)


JH opens up some Acme crates displaced by the construction. Forgot I ordered these things...

begins assembling

After a couple hours there are 3 machine assemblies on the lawn. He throws the switch on the first and a poodle appears. He stuffs it in the Jackapult and launches it into a random thread and smiles that famous Jack smile.

guess what the other two do?


Throwing the switches on the 2nd and 3rd machines; a little peasant pops out, only to get his pocket picked by a little thief. After chuckling at the peasant's demise JH kicks it and tells it to get back to work. The thief gets horsecollared and launched to the Celestial Thread.


Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® swears this place used to be where the Jacks would hang out. Oh well...

Begins packing up his kitchen.

All right, fellas, since da head cook here seems to have vacated da premises for da time being, now's a good time for da kitchen remodeling and extension project to begin. If we hustle, maybe wes can get it done before he retoins.

Crews being entering the kitchen area, and the dust starts flying with a vengeance. Cue now familiar theme music...


R. S. Powerhouse wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® swears this place used to be where the Jacks would hang out. Oh well...

Begins packing up his kitchen.

All right, fellas, since da head cook here seems to have vacated da premises for da time being, now's a good time for da kitchen remodeling and extension project to begin. If we hustle, maybe wes can get it done before he retoins.

Crews being entering the kitchen area, and the dust starts flying with a vengeance. Cue now familiar theme music...

Using the Acme Peasant Generator (APG) JH creates a crew of little peasants to clean up the jobsite. He's bummed when Powerhouse makes them don miniature hard hats.

What's the point? They're expendable.


JH notices that the dust continues to spread, out-pacing even the most concentrated efforts of the peasants.

Thanks for the help, Mac- er, Jack, but I got to keep up regulations no matter what. But I hear you wit dese peasants. In Brooklyn, da whining little things wouldn't even last a day.


R. S. Powerhouse wrote:

JH notices that the dust continues to spread, out-pacing even the most concentrated efforts of the peasants.

Thanks for the help, Mac- er, Jack, but I got to keep up regulations no matter what. But I hear you wit dese peasants. In Brooklyn, da whining little things wouldn't even last a day.

Kicks the peasants anyways, to get them to work harder.

Move it, you slackers!


*goes grabs some PBR*


Frat Jack wrote:
*goes grabs some PBR*

Slacker! Get back here and play hacky-peasant!


If not hacky-peasant, how 'bout a game of poodle ping-pong?


Testostechrome™. The Jacks got it, everyone wants it.


*wakes up from his pill induced coma*

"Where am i?"

*looks around*

"Last thing i remember i was dancing in a club, what's this place?"

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

We need another war...


Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...

"Who against? The French?" *says hopefully*


Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...

Tell me about it...there's nobody left to beat up anymore. And I just finished the plans for a Mobile Jackapult Lauch Platform/Party Bus limo.

All this awesome and no one to show up.

Switches on the Acme Poddle/Peasant/Thief generators and half-heartedly kicks the creations.


DSXMachina wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...
"Who against? The French?" *says hopefully*

"Hey! You're not a Jack..."

approaches DSXMachina slowly, savoring the rare opportunity


Jack Hammer wrote:
Testostechrome™. The Jacks got it, everyone wants it.

Testostechrome™, an invention by Dragonborn Jack.


Dragonborn Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Testostechrome™. The Jacks got it, everyone wants it.
Testostechrome™, an invention by Dragonborn Jack.

Invented by Callous Jack, branded by Dragonborn Jack. All hail Callous Jack! ;)


Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...

We could destroy the Slaads.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...
We could destroy the Slaads.

Do they have beer, or anything valuable? Oh heck, beggars can't be choosers.

At least their egg implantation tactic won't work on us.

Rally the troops?


Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...
We could destroy the Slaads.

Do they have beer, or anything valuable? Oh heck, beggars can't be choosers.

At least their egg implantation tactic won't work on us.

Rally the troops?

Sounds good to me. I'll get the sm^^fs ready.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
We need another war...
We could destroy the Slaads.

Do they have beer, or anything valuable? Oh heck, beggars can't be choosers.

At least their egg implantation tactic won't work on us.

Rally the troops?

Sounds good to me. I'll get the sm^^fs ready.

Oh, goody!


Looks like the slaads are just as fragmented as we are. What fun is a war when nobody shows up? Without the weeping, wailing, and lamentation of their women as we drive them before us it just isn't the same.

I'll reconnoiter. Maybe I can provoke them.


*radio* First salvo launched with no reponse. This would be like beating up the poodles, or Viking Kittens. Oh well, it's a slow afternoon.


Jack Hammer wrote:

Looks like the slaads are just as fragmented as we are. What fun is a war when nobody shows up? Without the weeping, wailing, and lamentation of their women as we drive them before us it just isn't the same.

I'll reconnoiter. Maybe I can provoke them.

<pops in from the Maelstrom and starts flinging spheres of Chaos throughout the Jacks' thread>

Mwahahahahaha!!! Let the chaos be released!!!

<the spheres of Chaos explode with random effects, changing the Jacks' manly outfits into tutus, calling forth masses of lemmings who jump into the Jacks' pool and start playing Marco Polo, changing the paint job on the Jacks' house to a plum paisley print, turns all their liquor into kumquat flavored Kool-aid, etc>

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