Raise of the Poodle Lords


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He comes back. The bad things always do.


Snarky Poodle wrote:
The Monday Monster wrote:
Snarky Poodle wrote:
Now me! Now me!
Dang it. It's Tuesday now. Don't worry, Snarky. I'll remember to punt you next Monday.

Also... This did not occur.

MoMo needs a better day planner to remember his appointments.

*form the Abyss* Yeah, I slept in too late. I'll be sure to wake up and do some poodle puntin' tomorrow.


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
He comes back. The bad things always do.

Bad? I thought you loved me, CDP.


Lady Pood Pood wrote:
Maybe MoMo has taken up golf on Mondays? I imagine punting old dudes in tacky clothing is probably pretty fun.

I haven't tried that yet. Thanks for the idea!


The Monday Monster wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
He comes back. The bad things always do.
Bad? I thought you loved me, CDP.

You don't want my love. Bad things happen to what I love.


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
The Monday Monster wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
He comes back. The bad things always do.
Bad? I thought you loved me, CDP.
You don't want my love. Bad things happen to what I love.

Nothing bad ever happens to me. *punts CDP* AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! MY FOOT! MY FOOT! I THINK I BROKE MY FOOT! STUPID POODLES!!!!


I broke something once.....


Another Monday gone. Another Monday where I didn't get punted.

I'm starting to feel like maybe MoMo doesn't love me.

Liberty's Edge

Snarky Poodle wrote:

Another Monday gone. Another Monday where I didn't get punted.

I'm starting to feel like maybe MoMo doesn't love me.

MoMo hasn't punted me since I got sprayed by a skunk kobold last year. Or was that an Axe salesclerk that sprayed me? {eats another handful of CDP's drugs} I think MoMo's worried about the getting the stink off afterwards.


Snarky Poodle wrote:
I'm starting to feel like maybe MoMo doesn't love me.

I feel like that about everyone. All the time.


SAFETY BEAR IS A GOD! SAFETY BEAR IS TIME! SAFETY BEAR IS SAFETY! SAFETY BEAR IS BEAR! TURN AWAY FROM YOUR POODLES! TURN! TO! SAFETY BEAR!


Lady Pood Pood wrote:
Snarky Poodle wrote:

Another Monday gone. Another Monday where I didn't get punted.

I'm starting to feel like maybe MoMo doesn't love me.

MoMo hasn't punted me since I got sprayed by a skunk kobold last year. Or was that an Axe salesclerk that sprayed me? {eats another handful of CDP's drugs} I think MoMo's worried about the getting the stink off afterwards.

He still punts CDP, and CDP smells like the Crypt Keeper's taco farts.


Also, is anyone else gonna hump that Safety Bear? It seems like a waste to pass up the opportunity.


I wasn't sure if it would be safe. Bears have been known to maul people.

Liberty's Edge

Make sure he isn't a Built-a-Bear, cause I've heard they can mall people.


Snarky Poodle wrote:
Also, is anyone else gonna hump that Safety Bear? It seems like a waste to pass up the opportunity.

I'm on it! *gets out his Barry White CD* *Humps the Safety Bear*


Snarky Poodle wrote:

Another Monday gone. Another Monday where I didn't get punted.

I'm starting to feel like maybe MoMo doesn't love me.

*From the Abyss* &^*%$%#!!!! I BROKE MY FREAKING FOOT, YOU @#$%$#$$!!!

Liberty's Edge

The Humpday Monster wrote:
Snarky Poodle wrote:
Also, is anyone else gonna hump that Safety Bear? It seems like a waste to pass up the opportunity.
I'm on it! *gets out his Barry White CD* *Humps the Safety Bear*

♫♪ "The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump" ♫♪


I had a chance once.....


GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!


Don't worry, CDP. I think MoMo's foot is still broken.


*Punts Snarky and CDP* I'm baaaack! We monsters tend to heal quite rapidly!


I threw my back out once.....


I'm glad I videotaped this punting. I'm going to watch the video tomorrow while I hump the postman a leg.

Liberty's Edge

Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back. And to the left...


Another Friday with nothing to do......


SAFETY BEAR IS BACK! HE HAS RETURNED! YOU CAN NOT STOP HIM!


Sorry, I don't remember you. Probably my memory is going.....


My memory went once......

Liberty's Edge

Safety Bear wrote:
SAFETY BEAR IS BACK! HE HAS RETURNED! YOU CAN NOT STOP HIM!

No. But we can hump him! {piddles excitedly}


2 people marked this as a favorite.

WHY AM I STILL ALIVE? CRUEL GODS OF IRONY!


Cockapoo wrote:
My memory went once......

Who are you again? For that matter, who am I?


Spotty Carpet wrote:
WHY AM I STILL ALIVE? CRUEL GODS OF IRONY!

Woah. I forgot there was a carpet under all those land mines! Meh. Time to add more to the pile.

Liberty's Edge

Did we accidentally bury MoMo under that pile of landmines?

Or maybe that pile?

Or maybe... wow. I know this is heresy, but maybe we should have an otyugh service come in once or twice a week?


The last otyugh we brought in here doused himself in kerosene and struck a match as soon as he saw the place.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{drunkenly floats to the ground} Damn punk, David S. Pumpkins, muscling in on my turf...

{suddenly remember's his job, looks around approvingly at CDP's landmine patch} Yes, little CDP has worked hard to make this small HOLY CRAP! This a lot of landmines, like stalagmites and hills and... how do you poodles make landmine stalactites?!?! I judge this the Most Sincere Landmine Patch. Hmmm, I'm getting the weirdest sense of deja-pood...

{works quickly: 1) filling a large hollow Scrappy Doo-O' Lantern-piñata with squeaky toys, jerky treats, and a jar of fiber supplements, b) leaves a 10-gallon bag filled with all of assorted trippy meds next to the sleeping CDP's head, and Π), empties a bag of choice bits of different metals for Rusty.}

Oops, almost forgot... {reaches into magical colostomy bag and pulls out life-sized stuffed poodle filled with explosives and a rune of polymorph any object into poodle to ensnare MoMo}

{Finally, with his work done, he nods approvingly before disappearing in a pumpkin-spicy sulfurous poof of flatulence}


I was doused once.......


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
I was doused once.......

Damn Frenchies! *licks CDP*


Congrats on the marriage, Snarky! You'll still take humpings from us, right?


I am a monogamous humper. Sorry, poodles.

...

BWAHAHAHA! Who am I kidding? Pile on everyone!


GANGBANG!!!!! *humps Snarky*

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