Raise of the Poodle Lords


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Eagerly waiting to see what sort of chaos ensues when you cross Miss Kitty with the Humpday Monster.


piddles


Ceaser Slaad wrote:
Eagerly waiting to see what sort of chaos ensues when you cross Miss Kitty with the Humpday Monster.

{coolly smoking a clove cigarette and sipping a catnip mojito} Nah, I never forget to wear protection. {points at flea collar} See? Can't have kittens.


drops a landmine


Why not fly an airplane?


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Oh, hello Monday. F$@+ you, and the MoMo you rode in on.


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Oh, hello Monday. F*+$ you, and the MoMo you rode in on.

Why do you talk to me like that when you know I'll punt you?


Maybe I like the pain?


The Monday Monster wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Oh, hello Monday. F*+$ you, and the MoMo you rode in on.
Why do you talk to me like that when you know I'll punt you?

{in best Boddicker impersonation (rather poorly done, actually):} Can you fly, MoMo?

{pretend tosses MoMo from imaginary van into imaginary traffic}


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Maybe I like the pain?

Perhaps you're right. Enjoy this! *punts CDP*


Miss Kitty wrote:
The Monday Monster wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Oh, hello Monday. F*+$ you, and the MoMo you rode in on.
Why do you talk to me like that when you know I'll punt you?

{in best Boddicker impersonation (rather poorly done, actually):} Can you fly, MoMo?

{pretend tosses MoMo from imaginary van into imaginary traffic}

I don't know if I should laugh or just punt you *shrugs*. What the hell. I'll just punt you. *punts Miss Kitty*


*Catches Miss Kitty, then steals her flea collar and runs away.*

Two more days until chaos ensues, BWAHAHAHA!


Ah, AH! By RAW, what do I do?! I don't have a copy of Poodlefinder Unleashed!!!


drops a few landmines


Bombs away!


I was sent away once.....


Shame you didn't stay away. :-)

Regardless, take 500 prozac, wash them down with three fifths of vodka and call me in a week.

Dronf!


downs some pills and vodka


{puffs away on catnip hookah}


*Nonchalantly twirls a flea collar with his finger.*


I was nonchalant once......


F*!% you, Monday! And your little do....wait! Crap!


Well, it is Monday. And as for the rest, you did just ask for it ...

*Drags CDP off camera.*


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
F$~# you, Monday! And your little do....wait! Crap!

*from the Abyss* You're lucky I slept in yesterday, %$^#&*!!!!


Ceaser Slaad wrote:

Well, it is Monday. And as for the rest, you did just ask for it ...

*Drags CDP off camera.*

Ooh, baby! Give it to me!

But why did you drag me off camera? It's because I'm hideous, isn't it?


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Ceaser Slaad wrote:

Well, it is Monday. And as for the rest, you did just ask for it ...

*Drags CDP off camera.*

Ooh, baby! Give it to me!

But why did you drag me off camera? It's because I'm hideous, isn't it?

My putting two bags over your head and one bag over my head should have been a clue.


With the bag over your head, you must have thought he was Wilford Brimley.

At least, that's the name you kept calling out.


Mere words can not possibly express how much more desireable Wilford is than CDP is. :-) Still, I bit the bullet and did my duty for chaos regardless. I understand that I'm being considered for a medal.


I desired Wilford Brimley once......


What's going on here?!


Dooooood


CourtFool wrote:
What's going on here?!

{spit-takes catnip mojito} HOLY S#$#! Courtfool?!

{sideeyes mojito} Damn, that's some powerful 'nip if I'm hallucinating him. And those government-sponsored chemtrails wafting out of CDP's butt.


CourtFool wrote:
What's going on here?!

Gaaaahhhh!!


No CasuFriMo today? {sulks, steals some of CDP's pills}


Have no fear! I'm here - spangled tube top and all.


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Casual Friday Monster wrote:
Have no fear! I'm here - spangled tube top and all.

Hey baby, how you doing- {DC 16 Will save (1d20 - 4 ⇒ (1) - 4 = -3: fails); remains dazed by tube top of scintillating stains}


Did anyone else see Courtfool? Or did I take too many meds again?


You didn't take enough meds.


No, I briefly saw Courtfool too. I think he must be trapped in the Tholians' interphasic-spatial rift while he was investigating the marooned USS Defiant. {goes back to writing Kirk/TJ Hooker/Denny Crane poly slashfic}


I would argue that whether or not CDP saw CourtFool and whether or not CDP needs more meds are independent variables. :-)


I was independent once........


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♪♬ Another suburban poodle Monday. ♩♫
Snarky screaming at the wall.
We have to hump above the din of our dog biscuits,
We can't hear anything at all.
Miss Kitty meows her litany of boredom and frustation,
But we know all her hairballs are fake.
CDP only stares into the distance
There's only so much more that he can take.
Many planes away,
Something crawls from the slime
At the bottom of a dark
Abyssal lake.


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♪♬ Another Internet ugly Monday ♩♫
The Jacks belching filth on Vomit Guy.
CDP walks unhindered past the landmines today,
He doesn't think to wonder why.
The slaadcretaries pout and preen like cheap b*~*~es in a red hydrant street,
But all he ever thinks to do is harf.
And every single visit with his so-called veterinarian
Is a humiliating kick in the crotch.
Many planes away,
Something crawls to the surface
Of a dark Abyssal loch.


{♪♬ excellent guitar and drum playing ♩♫}


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♪♬ Another working Monday has ended. ♩♫
Only the rush hour Hell to face.
Packed like kobolds into shiny Gygax dungeons,
Fodder for some murder hobo race.
CDP humps the wheel and stares alone into the distance,
He knows that something somewhere has to break.
He sees the poodle clubhouse looming in the spotlights,
The pain in his brain that makes his tired balls ache.
Just a few clicks away,
There's a MoMo at the door,
Of a clubhouse in the Off-Topic For
-um near a dark
Abyssal lake.
(Many planes away)
(Many planes away)
(Many planes away...)
[/"Humpronicity II"; copyright 1983, The Poodlice]


plays with a squeaky toy


Rewards CDP's normal (for a dog) behavior by throwing him a rawhide chew treat.


Oh, sure. Throw things at me. Just like Chirac did. Except he usually threw garbage.


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Oh, sure. Throw things at me. Just like Chirac did. Except he usually threw garbage.

Well, maybe if you hadn't been tapping his phone lines for the NSA you wouldn't have had that problem. As far as things go now, if you really don't want the rawhide chew treat I can always find a dachshund to give it to.


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Ceaser Slaad wrote:
...if you really don't want the rawhide chew treat I can always find a dachshund to give it to.

{asking peanut brain to punch above its own weight:} I believe that since the early 80s, they now prefer to be known as Nissans.

Say... has your leg ever humped with a poodle in the pale moonlight?

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