Gamers out of the closet... NOW!


Gamer Life General Discussion

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From a previous post on these boards:

someone wrote:

I know for a fact that all my coworkers are not gamers and think it's strange that I am to the extent that I am. But I continually refer to my low will save, failed spot check, or low charisma score. They still seem to not get that these are gaming terms, but it makes me feel good to get that out there nonetheless.

I propose we start planning a game pride parade.

How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
veector wrote:

From a previous post on these boards:

someone wrote:

I know for a fact that all my coworkers are not gamers and think it's strange that I am to the extent that I am. But I continually refer to my low will save, failed spot check, or low charisma score. They still seem to not get that these are gaming terms, but it makes me feel good to get that out there nonetheless.

I propose we start planning a game pride parade.

How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

Not I.. I talk about it all the time... ofcourse then it requires me to explain it to them... then all I get is blank stares..


veector wrote:

From a previous post on these boards:

someone wrote:

I know for a fact that all my coworkers are not gamers and think it's strange that I am to the extent that I am. But I continually refer to my low will save, failed spot check, or low charisma score. They still seem to not get that these are gaming terms, but it makes me feel good to get that out there nonetheless.

I propose we start planning a game pride parade.

How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

I'm not in the least embarrassed to be a gamer but sometimes I'm a bit peeved with people that 'let it hang out' at every opportunity. I know most of my colleagues aren't interested in Tabletop or online RPGs at all, so I don't bring it up for a joke nobody understands. But if my GM is in the room and we're talking about our ongoing AoW campaign they have to suffer, big time. :-D

Liberty's Edge

Before 3e D&D and LotR, I wouldn't bring it up lightly or in normal conversation, but something changed in my area after 2000. 3e seemed to make D&D seem cool again and a little more mainstream (and lots of folks were playing or knew someione who did) and LotR helped open all sorts of doors. Now I bring it up in casual conversation.

I'm team leader of a call center and all the employees know of my gaming life.

-DM Jeff


DM Jeff wrote:
Before 3e D&D and LotR, I wouldn't bring it up lightly or in normal conversation, but something changed in my area after 2000. 3e seemed to make D&D seem cool again and a little more mainstream (and lots of folks were playing or knew someione who did) and LotR helped open all sorts of doors. Now I bring it up in casual conversation.

I agree that attitudes seem to have changed, but I attributed it more to the popularity of World of Warcraft (and video games in general).

I'm still a little embarrassed by my nerdy hobbies, but I'm just easily embarrassed.

Sovereign Court

Most friends know but I actually don't let my in-laws know about it as they bought the whole cult/suicide/devil worship garbage hook, line and sinker.


*Looks at D&D poster in my cublicle at work*

No Im pretty open about it. :)


Considering that I give a perplexed stare when someone uses sports metaphors to explain things to me, I consider it an act of courtesy to refrain from doing the same with my own hobby. So around coworkers and strangers no. Also I don't see that not volunteering information = hiding or being ashamed.

The Exchange

My Monday night game w/ My fiancee and friends we play in the middle of the local coffee shop, where everyone can see us. The owner of the coffee shop is one of My players.


I've never been embarassed about my gaming lifestyle. The only time I've ever had to hide it was when my folks told me I couldn't play back in 1983. After my parents figured out what it was all about, they never said anything about it again, and my dad even bought me my first Player's Handbook. Even today I don't hide it, I don't make a big deal out of it either, but all my co-workers know I game, I've taken weekends off to what they refer to as a 'Freaks and Geeks Weekend'.

I'm a Gamer Geek, my wife is a Gamer Geek (that's how we met, during a Shadowrun game that I got in on, ironically enough, her ex-husband was the GM), I'll be getting my daughters in on it too, well, I hope so anyway. All of my younger brothers played tabletop for quite a while, two of them still play games online.

Guess I'm just trying to say that there's nothing to be embarassed about if you're a gamer, over the years it's become an acceptable part of society.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

It's pretty hard for me to be embarassed, since my girlfriend (who is not a gamer) tells everyone she talks to that I game. Friends, family, co-workers, doesn't matter. She likes it when they say things like "your boyfriend plays dungeons & dragons and you let him?" She probably defends my gaming more than I do. Yeah, she's pretty cool.


Axcalibar wrote:
Considering that I give a perplexed stare when someone uses sports metaphors to explain things to me,

"I dont have anything to do with sports. I mean....I drink Gatorade, but thats as far as it goes." - Comedian Mitch Hedburg

I use that line all the time. It always gets a laugh. :)

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8

Last time I spoke openly to a non-gaming friend about my gaming:

Me: ... No, I mean 'role-playing games' you know like with orcs and dwarves.
Blonde: Oh! Like D&D! I've been trying to get my husband into that but he thinks it will make us look like nerds.
Me: Your husband the Linux-using computer programmer?
Blonde: Yeah. (laughs). Hey, my husband is out of town every Friday. Why don't you come over and we can see if we like it?
Me: ...
Me: We're still talking about D&D, right?


Tarren Dei wrote:

Last time I spoke openly to a non-gaming friend about my gaming:

Me: ... No, I mean 'role-playing games' you know like with orcs and dwarves.
Blonde: Oh! Like D&D! I've been trying to get my husband into that but he thinks it will make us look like nerds.
Me: Your husband the Linux-using computer programmer?
Blonde: Yeah. (laughs). Hey, my husband is out of town every Friday. Why don't you come over and we can see if we like it?
Me: ...
Me: We're still talking about D&D, right?

Either way, you can't lose.

Contributor

Tarren Dei wrote:

Me: We're still talking about D&D, right?

Whoa... go you Tarren. I find that I don't mind talking about gaming to friends and confessed nerd, but my job does tend to lead to confusing social interactions in places where you're kind of forced to make conversation. This doesn't come up often, except at like Christmas dinner at Grandma's and at the coiffeur. It used to always go down something like...

Me: "What do I do? Oh, I'm an editor and game designer for a company that produces tabletop roleplaying games."
Dude with Scissors: "You mean... like... video games?"
Me: "Sorta of, but without the video game... or the TV... or the big budget. You know, like D&D. Its kind of like being an author of those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' novels. You know?"
Dude with Scissors:"Ummm... no? <trim, trim, trim>"
Me: "So, weather and sport teams and movies and stuff?"

After having had this conversation numerous times, I finally just sort of gave up. Except in cases where its an obvious lie (or I care enough to explain), I usually go with:

Me: Oh, I design video games. [A conversation about my real job follows, with "video" replacing the word "roleplaying."]

So I guess I tend to be a closeted gamer more often then not, just 'cause I usually don't care to spend the time explaining myself. Especially when a person looks easily frustrated and has brandishing a pair of scissors about my easily lop-off-able ears.

Scarab Sages

Freehold DM wrote:
Tarren Dei wrote:

Me: ...

Me: We're still talking about D&D, right?
Either way, you can't lose.

QFT! Tarren, did you ever know that you're my hero?

Create a gamer? Win!
Hot steamy cuckolding monkey sex? Win!!

Dark Archive

Dragnmoon wrote:


Not I.. I talk about it all the time... ofcourse then it requires me to explain it to them... then all I get is blank stares..

Ditto. Unless I mention WoW (which I don't play) or M:tG. Then comprehension sets in.


What? No gay gamers?

Liberty's Edge

CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?

That's exactly what I thought when I saw this thread.

Dark Archive

CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?

They apparently have their own group.

Liberty's Edge

joela wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?
They apparently have their own group.

And you just happened to know where it was?

Dark Archive

Insert Neat Username Here wrote:

They apparently have their own group.

And you just happened to know where it was?

The magic of Google, honey ;)


joela wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?
We have our own group.

Corrected.


CourtFool wrote:
joela wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?
We have our own group.
Corrected.

Outed.

Dark Archive

Evilturnip wrote:
Outed.

That I'm a gamer? DUH. ;)


joela wrote:
Evilturnip wrote:
Outed.
That I'm a gamer? DUH. ;)

You do not have to be defensive. It is not like you play 4e.

Dark Archive

CourtFool wrote:
joela wrote:
Evilturnip wrote:
Outed.
That I'm a gamer? DUH. ;)
You do not have to be defensive. It is not like you play 4e.

4E? Now you said them fightin' words....

Oh, wait. I do play 4E. Talk about being on the fence....


I freely admit to my co-workers that I'm a gamer. When they give me queer looks, I just remind them that I'm their resident computer geek (computer automation officer in the Army). I then ask them if they would really take my computer skills seriously if I wasn't such a geek?!? Show me a guy with big muscles and I'll show you a guy that probably hasn't passed the CISSP exam yet. That's my story and I'm sticking by it. ;-)

Liberty's Edge

CourtFool wrote:
joela wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?
We have our own group.
Corrected.

Thank you! :)

Seriously though. I am a gay gamer but never joined any group. Never felt the need. I have been interested but I enjoy spending my time with bree....um....I mean....all you guys and gals. :)

Dark Archive

Aristodeimos wrote:
I then ask them if they would really take my computer skills seriously if I wasn't such a geek?!?

Now that's just stereotyping computer geeks. There must be a few who don't play ANY computer games.

*listens to the chirping*

Anyone? Anyone?


joela wrote:
Aristodeimos wrote:
I then ask them if they would really take my computer skills seriously if I wasn't such a geek?!?

Now that's just stereotyping computer geeks. There must be a few who don't play ANY computer games.

*listens to the chirping*

Anyone? Anyone?

The computer geeks who don't play games are the Mac geeks. Those are much more reviled than even 4e players.

*ducks and covers behind his 4e books to avoid thrown iStuff from Mac lovers*

Dark Archive

Evilturnip wrote:
joela wrote:
Aristodeimos wrote:
I then ask them if they would really take my computer skills seriously if I wasn't such a geek?!?

Now that's just stereotyping computer geeks. There must be a few who don't play ANY computer games.

*listens to the chirping*

Anyone? Anyone?

The computer geeks who don't play games are the Mac geeks. Those are much more reviled than even 4e players.

*ducks and covers behind his 4e books to avoid thrown iStuff from Mac lovers*

Watch out for the UNIX/Linux geeks... :)

Contributor

joela wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
What? No gay gamers?
They apparently have their own group.

Or multiple groups: GayGamer.net. The Velvet Dicebag page is for tabletop stuff.


I am open about being a gamer. The only problem with this is the harrassment I face in school from the football team (who really sucked this year) and company. I'm fine with it though, I don't feel like I need to lie to myself because of other people.

By the way, I understand what it is like to come up with a really good DnD joke (like "I failed the Will save") and get the blank stares. I think that we as a nation should pity those less fortunate then us. I am considering starting a fund-raiser for those unfortunate souls :)

Scarab Sages

I am pretty open with my gaming, but I usually just don't explain things to people who obviously do not care to listen.

Me: I play roleplaying games.

Person: What are those?

Me: Not the bedroom kind, the kind like boardgames.

Person: Oh.

Me: Conversation over!

That is the part I hate most, explaining what "roleplaying" means, since the term has other, more mainstream, connotations.

Oh, and try telling someone you play "Arkham Horror" and not have them assume you said "Arkham Whore"...that is a barrel of laughs.

Sovereign Court

Evilturnip wrote:

The computer geeks who don't play games are the Mac geeks. Those are much more reviled than even 4e players.

*throws his old G4 at Evilturnips head*


veector wrote:

How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

I rarely feel the need to hide my hobby, but I know gamers who do. My best college friend who I introduced to D&D, whose name incidentally is Bill Clinton, is very much a closet gamer. When we used to play in the dorm lounges he would concoct elaborate explanations to explain what we were doing in the event that other people passed through and asked. The scary thing is, most people who passed through believed what he told them about psychology term papers, probability studies and Shetland ponies, despite all the rest of us joking and laughing around the D&D books and battle mats.

TS


Tequila Sunrise wrote:


I rarely feel the need to hide my hobby, but I know gamers who do. My best college friend who I introduced to D&D, whose name incidentally is Bill Clinton, is very much a closet gamer. When we used to play in the dorm lounges he would concoct elaborate explanations to explain what we were doing in the event that other people passed through and asked.
TS

That's the problem I face. Usually there are awkward moments when I tell new friends about my gaming, and my close friends edge away, even though some of them are DnD addicts!

Scarab Sages

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
veector wrote:


How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

Never. In OAC, I decided that I was going to be as blunt as possible about being a gamer, and never got any flak for it. I was also the drama leader, so I guess people just assumed I was talking about drama.

Now that I'm in the working world, I found out quick that of a company of 2000 around the world, I'm the only one who plays Dnd. It just makes me an individual, I guess.


Tequila Sunrise wrote:
veector wrote:

How many people are seriously embarrassed to be gamers? I mean, I guess I never really felt the need to hide it except to avoid talking about gaming while out on a date.

I rarely feel the need to hide my hobby, but I know gamers who do. My best college friend who I introduced to D&D, whose name incidentally is Bill Clinton, is very much a closet gamer. When we used to play in the dorm lounges he would concoct elaborate explanations to explain what we were doing in the event that other people passed through and asked. The scary thing is, most people who passed through believed what he told them about psychology term papers, probability studies and Shetland ponies, despite all the rest of us joking and laughing around the D&D books and battle mats.

TS

I know a guy who does the same thing. He works in finance and will never bring up D&D as a hobby at work.

Scarab Sages

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

I don't hide from telling people, but I don't go out of my way either.

I have had some quite funny reactions. One guy at work thought that I was going to get into my superhero costume and run around before I explained exactly what "Champions" was and how it works.

Most people just think it is a bit strange, but harmless....and that is fine with me.

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

As a rule I'm not too shy about telling people I'm a gamer, but it's not something I just go around shouting to people. If it comes up in conversation then fine, but otherwise no.
On the flip side, I do get those blank stares when I do tell people. I now just say I play cards (when I am playing cards) and most people just assume I mean Poker and not Vampire or Magic or WoW. I do tell people I paly D&D though.
My wife is NOT a Gamer and she just refers to it all as "Playing Cards".
Her: Are you playing cards tonight?
Me: No, I'm Roleplaying tonight.
Her: That's what I said, so you are playing cards then.

Dark Archive

I am very open about my D&D geekness. My wife gets embarrassed sometimes, but whatever. I've learned that if someone can't accept me for who I am, then they can go visit one of the Nine Layers.


Slightly bizarre conversion story.

My mother in law stays with us for a couple of months every year. Since her last visit, we've re-discovered table top gaming. So her first weekend here, we explained that one evening was going to be spent role-playing. She looked mildly intrigued and asked if she could watch. Which she did.

We're a small but very rp oriented group (drama, drama, it's all drama). So she was confronted by a bunch of people she otherwise knows as sane including her son, grandson and daughter in law yelping about giant rats and cleaving strikes. Her eyes were quite wide at this point, but she suddenly got the idea, went very quiet and asked if she could play herself next week.

The following week our ranks were joined by an all new, all aggressive 78 year old dwarf warrior banging the gaming table and bellowing "Goodbye Kobbold. Poof, he is gone.". I guess the moral of this tale is it's never too late to find your inner gamer. She's currently planning to convert her home town when she returns. And has the core books on order.


flash_cxxi wrote:

My wife is NOT a Gamer and she just refers to it all as "Playing Cards".

Her: Are you playing cards tonight?
Me: No, I'm Roleplaying tonight.
Her: That's what I said, so you are playing cards then.

It's almost the same for me, but I play-by-post or play-by-email, so my wife refers to it as "playing video games".


Callous Jack wrote:


*throws his old G4 at Evilturnips head*

Eep! *g4 bounces off his 4e DMG leaving a nasty dent*

Converting the in-laws is just too cool.

Rev Rosey wrote:

Slightly bizarre conversion story.

My mother in law stays with us for a couple of months every year. Since her last visit, we've re-discovered table top gaming. So her first weekend here, we explained that one evening was going to be spent role-playing. She looked mildly intrigued and asked if she could watch. Which she did.

We're a small but very rp oriented group (drama, drama, it's all drama). So she was confronted by a bunch of people she otherwise knows as sane including her son, grandson and daughter in law yelping about giant rats and cleaving strikes. Her eyes were quite wide at this point, but she suddenly got the idea, went very quiet and asked if she could play herself next week.

The following week our ranks were joined by an all new, all aggressive 78 year old dwarf warrior banging the gaming table and bellowing "Goodbye Kobbold. Poof, he is gone.". I guess the moral of this tale is it's never too late to find your inner gamer. She's currently planning to convert her home town when she returns. And has the core books on order.

Scarab Sages

sanwah68 wrote:
One guy at work thought that I was going to get into my superhero costume and run around before I explained exactly what "Champions" was and how it works.

So, you don't deny having a superhero costume, then?

Hmmmmn...

The Exchange

I'm like a lot of you guys, I don't go out of my way to hide the fact that I game, but sometimes it's just easier not to go there. You know, Sunday Poker Night is a lot easier to pass off in casual conversation. Once, however, some D&D playing coworkers outed me at work by giving me a pack of minis at a Christmas gift swap at the office. That took some 'splainin'. Incidentally, my in-laws only think I'm a partial geek, but they have a nephew who LARPs, so me just sitting around a table sounds pretty tame in comparison.

Liberty's Edge

Jal Dorak wrote:

I am pretty open with my gaming, but I usually just don't explain things to people who obviously do not care to listen.

Me: I play roleplaying games.

Person: What are those?

Me: Not the bedroom kind, the kind like boardgames.

Person: Oh.

Me: Conversation over!

That is the part I hate most, explaining what "roleplaying" means, since the term has other, more mainstream, connotations.

Oh, and try telling someone you play "Arkham Horror" and not have them assume you said "Arkham Whore"...that is a barrel of laughs.

They thought you said... Our cam whore...


I try and out myself whenever its really at all possible. Especially if I have cool player hand outs. Its the best way I know to bring in the newbs or get others back into the game.

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